//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Spying, Sneaking, and Other Things // Story: Your Beutifull // by theswimminbrony //------------------------------// Stealth. Pinkie Pie lived for that word. After all, every party planner needed to have some degree of mastery in the art of stealth in order to throw a successful surprise party. And with the number of surprise parties she had under her belt, Pinkie Pie had every right to her self-imposed title of "Double-Oh-Pinkie". Darting across Ponyville unnoticed, Pinkie tugged at the catsuit that hugged her curvy frame. It was a fitting name for the outfit, Pinkie Pie thought. Catsuit. It just sounded sneaky to her, not to mention that the way she slithered and sneaked through the boxes and barrels downtown made her feel like a cat stalking her prey. A few moments later, Pinkie arrived at her destination: a lone tree standing in the middle of a yard, which just so happened to be positioned in the very center of town. A suitable perch would give her a perfect view of all three hundred and sixty degrees of Ponyville, allowing for optimal spying efficiency around the clock. A few leaps and bounds later, Pinkie found herself at such a perch, a firm branch about a dozen feet off the ground. With her foldable zipline at her side, Pinkie slid on her night-vision goggles and commenced scoping out the town. She smiled to herself, knowing that so far, everything had gone according to plan. "Phase One: Find a super secret scouting spot" was complete. Now, according to her checklist, it was time for "Phase Two: Find that sneaky Rainbow Dash and see what's going on in that head of hers". As far as she was concerned, nothing could go wrong. It had taken her only a few minutes to find a hiding spot, and Rainbow Dash wasn't exactly a tough pony to find. And thanks to her catsuit, she was completely and utterly invisible. "Pinkie Pie!" Completely. "Pinkie Pie!" "Shhh!" Pinkie replied in annoyance. "Go away! Can't you see I'm invisible up here?" "Well, obviously not, since I can see your fluffy pink tail sticking right out of my tree!" Looking backwards, Pinkie noticed that the pony below was right: a cotton-candy like mess was sticking out from the back of her suit, easily giving away her position to her enemies. Curses, she thought to herself. So much for stealth. "Now will you please get down here and explain yourself to me?" the observant pony continued. "I mean, since when has it been okay for ponies to just climb other ponies' trees without their permission? Hardly a neighborly gesture if you ask me, though I suppose I shouldn't consider that you of all ponies would be carrying around that sort of common sense, hm?" "Hey, I've got plenty of common scents! You should see all the candles we have in the back of the bakery. Just who do you think you are, anyways, questioning my taste in scents?" Pinkie poked her head out of the tree and was greeted by a very exasperated-looking white unicorn. "Oh, Rarity! It's you! It feels like it's been ages since we've seen each other!" "Yes, well, I've been thinking the exact same thing, but I never suspected that our next meeting would happen with one of us a dozen feet up a tree." "Well then, what are you waiting for? I can hear this section of branch calling your name right now!" "That's not quite what I meant by that." "Rarity... Rarity..." Pinkie whispered, shaking the branch beside her. "I refuse to subject myself to such a strange means of conversation." "Ah, well. It was worth a shot." Not a second later, Pinkie was back on the ground next to Rarity. "As long as I get to talk to my best friend, Rarity, it doesn't matter whether we're in a tree or on a boat or in a house or by a moat or—" "Yes, yes, it's good to see you again, as well, Pinkie. Now, how exactly did you do that?" "Do what?" "Get down from the tree so fast. It was almost as if you teleported or something. One second you were up there, and the next you were right here beside me. It was... strange." "I have no idea what you're talking about, Rarity! Sheesh, and ponies say I'm the crazy one." "Never mind. It's not important." Rarity looked Pinkie Pie up and down, noticing her catsuit and night-vision goggles. "But what is important is that... interesting ensemble you're wearing. Just what is it, exactly?" "Oh, this? This is my spying-slash-scouting-slash-other secret operation thingies-suit. I used these same night-vision goggles when we went to the Crystal Empire, remember? And this catsuit is from the time that Twilight, Spike, and I broke into the library at the castle in the middle of the night!" "You did what?" "Wore these goggles when we went to the Crystal Empire. Come on, Rarity, were you even paying attention?" "Pinkie Pie, you can't... oh, just forget it. Can you please just explain to me why you're wearing that bizarre outfit of yours? And why you need night-vision goggles at five in the afternoon?" "Don't question my methods! Like I said, it's my spying-slash-scouting-slash-other secret operation thingies-suit. It's not that hard to figure out, is it?" "So you're spying?" "And scouting and doing other secret operation thingies! You know, maybe you should see a doctor. It seems like you're having trouble paying attention today. Hey, look, a squirrel!" "So what exactly are you spying on?" Pinkie Pie furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to scream. "And scouting and other things!" Rarity added. "Much better. Well, it's really secret stuff, so I don't know if I should tell you." "Ah." "Like, reeeeeallly secret stuff. Top class in Pinkie Pie secrecy." "I see." "Level Pink security clearance is needed to access this information, Rarity! I can't just go handing it out to ponies left and right like it's some sort of candy!" "'Level Pink'?" "Okay, fine. Since you're being so persuasive, I suppose I could tell you. But just this once!" Rarity rolled her eyes. Pinkie looked every which way to make sure that nopony else was listening in on them, and then whispered her secret, top class, Level Pink mission to Rarity. "... I'm looking for Rainbow Dash." Rarity paused for a moment, waiting for Pinkie to tell her more. "That's it?" Rarity deadpanned when nothing else came. "You're just looking for Rainbow Dash?" "Just looking for Rainbow Dash? Rarity, don't you understand how important this could be?" "No. I don't. How did you expect me to know that when you didn't even bother to tell me why you were looking for her in the first place?" "Well, I thought that much was obvious." "Well, pardon me for not possessing your masterful skills of deduction." "You're pardoned! So would you like me to tell you?" "Well, I thought that much was obvious," Rarity mocked. "I'm a spy, not a mind-reader, Rarity! Anyways..." Pinkie once again leaned in to Rarity's ear and whispered. "... I think there's something bothering her." Rarity's pause was shorter this time. "Context, Pinkie! Could you please give me a little more than that?" "Oh! You want the deluxe bundle! Well, Rainbow Dash came to Sugarcube Corner earlier today and picked up an order of Cutie Cakes. They're cupcakes that are personalized to have the cutie mark of the pony who ordered them on it," she clarified, seeing Rarity's confusion. "But get this: they weren't personalized for Rainbow Dash. They were personalized for Derpy Hooves." Rarity raised an eyebrow. "And you thought that was strange? She doesn't have to order cupcakes with her cutie mark on them, does she? She might have just wanted to surprise Derpy with an afternoon snack or something. Rainbow might be uncouth at times, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care for her friends." "But that's the thing! I asked Rainbow Dash what the occasion was, and she was just all 'she did a favor for me and I'm repaying her' and I asked what for and she was like 'don't worry about it' and she was acting all grumpy and shifty like she was hiding something. But why would she be hiding something?" "Well, I can't say for certain, but it seems like she just didn't feel like she needed to tell you, Pinkie. Most likely it was a personal affair between her and Derpy." "But we tell each other all of our personal things! Everything, Rarity! It's not like Rainbow Dash to hide things from me like this. It's like she doesn't trust me or something." Rarity frowned slightly. "I'm no expert on what goes on between the two of you, Pinkie, but I do know quite a bit about how to properly handle situations like these. I am a proper lady, after all." "Yay, advice! I knew I could count on you! What should I do? Spy harder?" "No, Pinkie, I don't think that's such a good idea. If you're worried about Rainbow Dash trusting you, I don't think spying on her would help you with that at all. Just give her some space and let her sort this out, and when she feels comfortable, I'm sure she'll tell you. You are best friends, after all." "Yeah, but so are we!" Pinkie pulled Rarity into an embrace. "Thanks, Rarity. I really appreciate the advice. No more spying for this mare! At least for now, that is." "I'm glad to hear that, Pinkie," Rarity said, struggling to escape. "Now, I think it's time for me to get going. I have a pedi-pedi coming up at the spa later and I want to look fabulous for it. That means it's time for my beauty sleep!" "You know what? That's not a bad idea! A nap sounds just peachy right about now." Pinkie squealed, pulling Rarity to her side once more. "You aren't... suggesting that you want to join me, are you, Pinkie?" "Nah. I was actually thinking about napping in that branch up there. It's actually a lot more comfier than it looks." "Uh, that would be 'more comfy' or 'comfier', Pinkie Pie." Pinkie snickered at Rarity's correction. "Oh, come on, Rarity. Something like that isn't really that important, is it?" "Well, I suppose not," Rarity admitted, tapping at her chin, "But I've always been one to believe that a lady should use proper grammar whenever possible. I suppose you could call it a sort of reflex that I picked up as a child. Oh, just thinking about the typos I see on the flyers on that dreadful bulletin downtown makes me want to shiver." "You know, Rarity, you sound a whole lot like Twilight right now." "That's because Twilight is a Canterlot unicorn who holds the grace and beauty of a well-constructed sentence in high regard. It could do you some justice to have her instruct you on the matter sometime, Pinkie." "Well, if everything goes according to plan this Friday, that's just what's going to happen." "This Friday? Why, what's going on?" "You mean you haven't heard?" Pinkie said in disbelief. "I thought you knew about everything that went on around Ponyville!" "While it's true that I pride myself in being a connoisseur in... various forms of knowledge around the town, I can't say that I've heard anything even remotely similar to what you're talking about." "Oh! That's perfect! That means I get to practice my routine!" "Your what?" "Rarity of Ponyville!" Pinkie stood on her front legs and cartwheeled around the yard. "Yooooooouuuuu are invited to Ponyville's very first..." She stopped in front of Rarity and thrust a piece of paper in the unicorn's face. "... Conventions Convention—a place where proper grammar and sentence structure reign supreme! Come join Twilight Sparkle as she instructs the less informed in the arts of comma usage, pronoun agreement, and much more!" A backflip that merged into the splits ended Pinkie Pie's performance. "Catered by Sweet Apple Acres!" "A... Conventions Convention?" "Yep! You want me to do my routine again? Twilight told me I have to invite as many ponies as I can, so some extra practice would be great." "No, that's quite alright," Rarity said, paying more attention to the paper than Pinkie. "It's just strange, though." "What is, my routine? Does it need a little more flair?" "No, your routine is perfectly... you." "Then what is it?" "This Convention, of course! Twilight's always been a sort of stickler for grammar, and I admire that, but don't you think this is a little..." "Over the top?" Pinkie chanced. "Yes, precisely! She always corrects other ponies when needed, but she's never gone out of her way to do something on this large of a scale." "Well, she's never received an error-filled love letter from a secret admirer before, either." Rarity's body went rigid. "I'm sorry, Pinkie Pie, could you run that by me again?" Pinkie started to run in circles around Rarity at speeds the unicorn never knew could be achieved. "Well, she's never received an error-filled love letter from a secret admirer before, either!" A few laps later, Pinkie slowed herself and danced around Rarity's yard in a daze until she was stopped by a pair of white hooves clasping her cheeks. "Pinkie. Are you telling me that Twilight Sparkle—our Twilight Sparkle—received a love letter?" Pinkie simply nodded. "Augh! Pinkie Pie, do you know what this means?" "Suhpise pahty?" Pinkie said through pursed lips. "No, no, not quite. Pinkie, ever since Twilight came to Ponyville I've been trying to set her up! Stallions, mares, it didn't matter to me as long as she had someone to be with! She's simply too stunning to be all cooped up in that tree with nopony to love. It's tragic! Just tragic, I tell you! But now, now, my dear Pinkamena, an opportunity presents itself to us to finally find Twilight the match she deserves! Ooh, this is just so perfect I could scream! Come, Pinkie, we've got some work to do!" Her face beaming with confidence, Rarity marched towards Carousel Boutique, a very shaken and confused Pinkie in tow. "But Rarity, I thought you had a pedicure this afternoon." Rarity stopped in her tracks. "And besides, we don't even know who this pony is in the first place. How are we going to make any progress if we don't have any leads?" "Pedicures can wait, Pinkie Pie. But true love waits for no mare! If Twilight is to become united with this stallion—" "Or mare." "Or mare," Rarity corrected, "then our work must begin immediately! Love is kind, but it is also fleeting! And we must act now if we are to be successful agents of love!" "Well, that solves the pedicure problem. But what about the secret admirer? First things first, we need to find out who this mysterious pony is." "Right. We're going to need to be thorough. We're going to have to be smart. And most importantly, we're going to have to be sneaky." "I like where this is going..." Pinkie sang. "I thought you might. Pinkie!" "Yes, Rarity?" "In order for this operation to be a success, we're both going to need to be at the top of our game. I'll be the brains, but you need to be the eyes. I'm talking spying like you've never spied before. Sneaking like your life depends on it! And all that other stuff—" "What about it?" "Just bring it." "Woohoo! I love it when you get fired up like this, Rarity. Buuuuuut there's still one teensy-weensy little problem." "What? Why didn't you say so earlier? Quick, spit it out!" "Well, this is the only catsuit I have. And while I might be the eyes of the operation, you're still going to need to have some degree of sneakery if we want to pull this off. And just walking around like that won't do!" "Hm... yes, you're right. This does pose a problem to our operation. And that's why I've already thought of an alternative!" "Really? No wonder you're the brains!" "Ha! I am quite the clever one, aren't I?" "The clevererest!" "'Cleverest', Pinkie. And I think it's time for you to ditch that catsuit." "Aw, no costumes?" "I never said that. Of course we're still having costumes. What kind of spies would we be without costumes? In fact, I think I've got just the things sitting right inside." "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's do some spying!" "And sneaking and other things!" Rarity reminded. "Come on, Pinkie. We don't have any time to waste! Let's do this!" "Alright! Operation L.E.T.T.E.R. is now underway!" "Operation L.E.T.T.E.R.?" "I'll think of a clever acro-thingy later. Come on, let's go!" And with that, Ponyville's top secret agents bounced and galloped their way back to Carousel Boutique. -- -- -- "Spike, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" "Unfortunately, yes. I think I am." Under the faint glow of the just-setting sun, Twilight Sparkle and Spike stood motionless at the front porch of the library. After a quick bite to eat to alleviate the irritations that the day had brought on both of them, Twilight and Spike were ready to collapse at any moment. But one thing stood in their way, guarding the entrance to where they could finally wind down and relax: A simple envelope, missing a return address, addressed to one twilite sparkel. "What do you suppose it means?" Spike asked. "Why is there another one? I thought I grabbed all the mail earlier. I must have just missed it or dropped it or something. Sorry about that, Twilight." "Don't beat yourself up, Spike. I don't think it's your fault. We're dealing with something much more devious than your clumsiness here." "So you're saying..." "They came back, Spike. While we were away. They had to have known somehow—maybe they saw us downtown, or somepony on the inside told them—but somehow, they knew." "Do you think they know about the Convention?" "We have to assume that they do. It's always best to assume that the enemy knows more than you." "'Enemy'?" "Well, what else am I supposed to call them, Spike?" "How about 'secret admirer'? That's what they are, right?" Twilight was silent. "Ooh! Or you could call them 'X'. Yeah, X. That sounds really cool. X." "Don't be ridiculous, Spike. Come on, let's go inside." A purple veil appeared around the doorknob and the letter simultaneously, and the pair made their way back inside, where a massive pile of books still sat. "Oh, Celestia, I forgot about that." "I'm guessing you want me to get to cleaning?" Spike said, already reaching for a broom. "No, you've done enough work for today. I want you to go to bed right now and get a good rest. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." "I dunno if I like the sound of that," Spike said, trudging to his room. "But hey, aren't you going to open that letter, Twilight? It might give us some clues or something." "Not right now. Don't worry about it, okay?" "Yeah, sure, whatever you say. Goodnight, Twilight." "Goodnight. And Spike?" "What's up?" "Thanks. For putting up with me today. I know I've been a handful, but this is something important to me." "Yeah, I know. Don't worry about it. I'm your friend, right? Of course I'm going to help you. That's what friends do." Twilight smiled. "You're a good friend, Spike. Now get a good night's sleep. You deserve it." "Yeah, yeah, I'm going. Love you, Twilight." "Love you too, little guy." Yawning the entire way, Spike slowly made his way up the stairs until he reached his small bed that lay beside Twilight's. Twilight waited patiently until she heard the dragon's telltale snoring before turning her attention to the letter that still hovered before her. The letter. The second strike. The second coming of the bane of her existence. And she was about to face it. Slowly but surely, she broke the seal that held the abomination in place. She closed her eyes as she removed a piece of paper, preparing herself for the worst. And then she read it. im sorry my first leter was bad. im not good with words. i just want you to now how i feel. As she had expected she would, Twilight shivered. It wasn't the full-out cringe she had experienced when reading the first letter, but she still couldn't look at the letter without feeling a little sick inside. Would it kill them to at least capitalize a few words? As terrible as it was, the second letter did give Twilight one thing—answers. She now knew that the author knew about the Conventions Convention, or at the very least, her disapproval of the first letter. What this would lead to, Twilight had no idea. Would her admirer be at the Convention, trying to learn something so that they could improve their writing? It was a thought that bothered Twilight—there was no way she would be able to deliver her lessons without constantly thinking that the author of the letters could be sitting only a few feet away. One thing was for certain: whoever this pony was, mare or stallion, they weren't giving up easily. Another letter being delivered so closely to the first one meant that this pony was persistent, and likely to strike again before the convention. And Twilight would make sure she was there when they did. Her mind running a mile a minute, Twilight summoned a quill and some paper and started to brainstorm. Even if it took her all night, she was going to think of a surefire way to catch this pony before any more damage could be done. "I don't know who or where you are, or what you're thinking, but mark my words: I'm going to to get to the bottom of this. And when I do, I expect answers. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I'm coming for you..." She scratched her head, thinking of a proper name to refer to the author other than 'that pony'. Much to her dismay, only one name could come to her mind that made any sense as a codename that held anonymity to gender. Dipping the quill in a nearby inkwell, she made two quick strikes across the paper and held it up in front of her. "... X." "Yessss!" Spike cheered from under his covers.