"Now don't you fret, Jamal, if there's a high-powered spell our Twilight can't cast I've yet to hear of it," Applejack said.
Jamal shifted uncomfortably on Big Mac's saddle. This might just have been because, as he'd explained, while some humans road domesticated animals regularly, the closest he'd come to a bronco buck was being bitten by a petting zoo goat.
It might also be the blurry memory of last night's confessions coming into focus. He wouldn't be the first houseguest to make strange discoveries about his romantic inclinations while drinking with her brother, and that would make riding his back a touch more intimate than he'd desire. He didn't have any reason to worry, if that was the case. Big Mac had plenty of practice at takin confession of unrequited love in stride.
This was normally the time for picking up eggs, setting out a market stall, or smacking seven kinds of horse-apples out of the rooster until it realized that dawn had come already, so it could shut it's stupid beak. It was nice to trot down the streets of Ponyville before the streets clogged up with equine traffic. The colors of dawn glinted off the upper windows of Town Hall (newly repaired with a grant from the Appleoosa Foundation) and the frosted-cake-turrets of Carousel Boutique. Cherry Fizzy squinted his bright green eyes against the light, coughed up some glitter, and staggered over to Weepy Willow's Analgesics and Contraceptive emporium. Emerald lurched along in her bathrobe and slippers towards the Talk Family Coffeehouse. Pokey Peirce stuck his head out of the window and nearly choked on his toothbrush.
Jamal spared some attention to take in the daily scene of ponyville, but also kept shifting his grip on Macintosh. Maybe he just regretted opening up so many tender spots to her in the wee small hours. Honest and truthful weren't exactly the same things; you couldn't un-plant a snapdragon field in the blooming season.
As more early risers stopped to gawk at Jamal the human, another possibility surfaced in Applejack's mind. Maybe he just didn't care for all the attention. Twilight had explained how much the forced interaction with other ponies made her uneasy when she first visited town, and Fluttershy, well, she was Fluttershy. He didn't seem like the bashful type. Then again, it's a lot easier to be cool as a cucumber when you're with friends and family on your favorite stomping ground. Maybe she'd start ta twitch an squirm at one of these "conventions" he talked about, where even a person dressed as in a pony-suit could gather photographs and hugs from total strangers.
"Oh Celestia, what is it?" Lily gasped.
"That's never a two-legged deer, one of the omnivores from the ponyolithic period!" Rose squealed
"Run! It'll stab us all with flint spears and drive us into fire traps and make us irrigate soil with a surprisingly clever system of plows and artificial hummocks!" Daisy bellowed. "Run for your father-bucking lives!"
The three earth ponies charged off in random directions, banging into each other and reversing out of dead ends, screaming at the top of their lungs. Butter Cream waited for one to stampede out of his way before setting down his next milk bottle. Cloud Kicker rolled her eyes and got back to touching up the crest on a cirrus cloud.
"Some ponies," Applejack snorted. She turned to Jamal. He wasn't exactly blubbing or shuddering or fuming, but he didn't look well. His odd features had gone a little blank, and he relaxed against Big Mac in a puppet-with-cut-strings kinda way.
"We've all learned not to pay any heed to those three. Ah know you've seen them hollerin' at a bunny stampede as if they was pony-shaped carrots durin' Applebuck Season, and last week they all screamed themselves hoarse because I'd left a Pink Lady Apple in the Gala Apple barrel."
Jamal nodded. A little of the life came back into him, but he still looked as comfortable as Angel going on a dinner date with Owlowiscious. Maybe some of that had to do with the way Lemon Hearts was staring. She'd stopped halfway through unfolding the awning on her tart-selling cart. Her nostrils flared, her breathing ragged, and hear back arched in a strange way. It looked…needful.
Applejack knew Lemon Hearts a little. Their parents had swapped pie recipes way back when. She and Lemon Hearts had tied for third in last year's bake-off. She was just another pony in Ponyville, to Applejack.
In an instant, Applejack saw Lemon Hearts through human eyes. Here was something that could run faster than any human,. It might cast spells, wielding a power that humans found more unnatural and frightening than the Everfree Forest. Above all, it ended in a sharp point.
"Hey Applejack, is that thing for sale?" Lemon Hearts said in a dreamy, breathless voice.
"No, he is not for sale," Applejack said, with calm emphasis. "And you might wanna attend your cooker, them tarts is startin' to over-caramelize."
Her eyes flickered to the oven, but then she turned straight back. "I don't smell them burning," she purred. A big glop of saliva splattered on her table. "It's hiding a bushel of rose hips and prime sandwich orchids, right?" She sniffed again. Her pupils widened, even though she was facing east.
Jamal's head tilted in confusion while his body hunched up higher on Big Mac's back. He sniffed a pit and shrugged.
"There are no flowers involved, and maybe you should ease up on the herbal remedies, miss Hearts. You been playin' in the poison joke patch?" Applejack said, hiding her unease with a tone of concern.
"Maybe it's a really skinny pig, or a featherless chicken?" Lemon Hearts said with unwarranted hope. "I hear some farmers sell pigs and chickens to the Gryphonian market. Or could it be a hairless bear?" Lemon wiped away a mess of ropey spit from her chompers. In the clear morning light, Applejack noticed how finely serrated unicorn front teeth were. Sure, they might be shaped the same as earth pony and Pegasus teeth, but there was a little sharper edge in the dental work. Why had she never noticed that before?
It was then that Applejack realized Lemon Hearts had not only been keeping pace with them, but slowly edging closer to Big Mac. She snorted up a big lungful of air and edged her face into Big Mac's personal space.
"I've got some nice curry," Lemon Hearts moaned. "I love making curries."
"Could you please back off?" Big Mac said. His voice was, as usual, mild and polite, but his words had just a hint of rumble in them.
"I'd pay your in bits or rubies," Lemon Hearts said hopefully.
"This is a houseguest, what we are transportin' to my friend Twilight Sparkle. You know, the stocky purple unicorn who's a number one student of Princess Celestia? Ring any bells?" Applejack said, feeling a more annoyed than playful.
While Lemon Hearts wavered on the edge of response, Big Mac galloped ahead, and Applejack chased on after him.
If it had just been Lemon Hearts acting peculiar, Applejack wouldn't have given the matter a fourth thought. Twinkleshine and Allie Way both tried to buy him off her, insisting Jamal was some fancy foreign livestock loud enough to drown out his vocal objections. Amethyst Star dropped her handbag just to stare at the human like he was a bale of fresh hay. Comet Tail and Diamond Mint locked eyes on him during their romantic brunch and failed to notice they'd both eaten most of the tablecloth. Even DJ Pon-3, who normally spent this time of day staggering home with a lampshade on her head or tossing cookies in an ally, tried to stagger up and pass the time of day with her guest. Little Bloo and Pluto even nipped at the poor man's heels until Applejack threatened to tell their parents and waved a horseshoe at them. What had gotten into everypony today?
While she was asking about a way to send Jamal Freeman home, she might also ask Twilight to check for strange magic at work. Something odd was in the air, and it wasn't applejack fumes or country cookin'.
When they finally reached Twilight Sparkle's house, Mr Freeman was trembling like a tree in the wind.
"What if she can't cast a spell to send me back?" Jamal said, trying to disguise the hope in his voice. "What if there isn't any spell like that, or what if there's something with the weakening walls of reality so that sending me back the same way would cause irreparable damage to the space-time continuum?"
Applejack might not know what a continuum was, but she could recognize somepony trying to dodge an issue. "Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Ease, sugarcube. Where there's a will, there's a way, and ah don't see no harm in asking."
Applejack knocked on the door. Jamal started to dismount, then froze. "I'm going to meet Twilight Sparkle," he said.
Jamal slipped to the ground. He made a slight grunt, but dusted himself off without acknowledging the pain. "I'm going to meet Twilight Sparkle!" The man had a deep voice, but he almost squeaked the sentence.
"Eeyup," Big Mac supplied.
"If she ever answers the door, yeah," Applejack said.
"I'm going…to meet…Twilight Sparkle," Jamal gasped, swaying back and forth. If he was Rarity, he would have been pulling out the fainting couch. "How's my hair? Is my shirt too dusty? Did I remember to bring a pen and something to sign?"
"Whoa there, hold your horses. This is Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville, not a royal interview with three crowned princesses," Applejack said. He hadn't gotten this flustered or mentioned autographs around her. She squashed the irrelevant thought.
"Spike, answer the door!" Applejack hollered.
"Spike, answer the door," echoed from inside the tree in Twilight's voice.
There was a pause. Jamal shuffled his feet and surreptitiously brushed off his outfit.
A flicker of magic opened the door. "Come in!" Twilight Sparkle shouted. She turned back to the three books in front of her and a neat row of seventeen different herbs and spices.
"Hmm, sage and onion stuffed, marinated in bear's blood and garnished with fresh clover, or stuffed with lily of the valley and cornmeal, slow-roasted, then slathered in olive oil and melted provolone? Or maybe I could go with the raw-food, rare-cooked option? But would the set of hoofcuffs and headclamps in my basement fit, or do I need to resize them? Spike's still on good terms with that carpenter in cloudsdale…"
Applejack chuckled and shook her head. She reached over and nudged a bottle of ink closer to the stack of Clydesdale the Conquerer sequential art.
Twilight Sparkle looked up with a snarl on her face. Then she saw Applejack, and she smiled. Then she noticed Jamal. Her expression turned…strange.