Spike's Journal

by WorkingClassWriter

Bridle Gossip

Bridle Gossip
Dear Diary,

Yesterday, Twilight decided that we had to start exercising more often. Ugh. Well, the day looked nice enough, so I thought that our little jog through town would be just a tiny setback for my awesome Saturday. Well, it got a bit bigger when we realized that there was nopony in the streets. Unless you count Mr. Dustball, but then again, he's not even a pony.

I was just starting to freak out over the possibility of zombies (better safe than sorry, right?) when we spotted Pinkie Pie whispering to us from Sugarcube Corner (her workplace/home). When we went in, it turned out the rest of the gang was there too, including AJ's little sister Apple Bloom.

By this time Twilight had managed to calm me down a bit over the zombie thing, so I decided to give myself a little treat. While I was snagging some Horshey's Kisses, I overheard them talking about how they were hiding from a creepy zebra named Zecora who lived in a nearby wood, the Everfree Forest (which was just as creepy). I didn't hear everything, but I was able to tell that Twilight disagreed (typical) and Apple Bloom was trying to be the center of attention.

I was in the middle of admiring my awesome reflection in the glass shelves when we noticed Apple Bloom had gone missing at some point. The gang went out to look for her, and I was assigned to keep watch over Sugarcube Corner. At least it gave me an excuse to wear some cool armor (a pot on my head; hey, you make do with what you have). By the time Twilight came back to get me, she looked mildly annoyed at everypony else, and she ended up going to bed early. As in right after dinner. She never told me what happened. Probably mare stuff.

By 9:30, she was already tossing and moaning (which is weird, because her Sleep Schedule doesn't have her tossing and turning until 11:25, right after light snoring). I decided that camping outside would get me a lot more sleep. Well, when I woke up, I saw that Twilight had slightly messy hair, bigger eyes than usual, and (get this) a floppy horn with polka dots. Wow.

Before she had time to officially freak out, Pinkie Pie burst through the door faster than usual. Her tongue was twisted and stuck inside her mouth, leaving her unable to speak. Her tongue was also covered in blue polka dots. Either Ponyville had a new fashion craze overnight, or something was up.

Pinkie was followed by a Rainbow Dash who crashed more than Derpy Hooves (the local mailmare), a Rarity who was a hair fuzzball (but still looked good), an Applejack shrunk to the size of an actual apple, and a Fluttershy who had turned into Morgan Freemare.

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Of course, they came to the conclusion that Zecora had cursed them (except for Twilight, but I bet she was starting to consider it). I found a book that probably had a cure, but unfortunately, the book was called Super-Naturals. Which Twilight thought was a book about ghosts. I mean, come on, she didn't even see the hyphen between "Super" and "Natural". Twilight really needs to get eyeglasses.

Anyway, Apple Bloom decided to sneak out again, this time with AJ hot on her trail. Naturally, they left me to guard the library while they went to find them. Maybe I should get an actual guard uniform if this keeps up.

By the time they returned, I was already halfway writing a fanfic about their exploits (hey, you can't be confronted with a scenario like that and not write about it). Trolling aside, turns out that Zecora was just a local alchemist who didn't even have any metal, and the reason they got so messed up was because they stepped in some sort of plant that does stuff like that. I need to remember to harvest some for April Foals.

Anyway, everypony apologized to Zecora and all was good for once. Seriously, I'm not sure how they thought she was bad in the first place. I don't think anyone around here deals with witchcraft. Except maybe Pinkie. Never can tell with her.

Today, I learned that Twilight doesn't believe in witchcraft either, and most of Ponyville will probably follow her example after this incident. Which means that it probably wouldn't be wise to read Hoofy Potter in public. And it looked like a good series, darn it.

-Spike