“Twilight A. Sparkle. You’re kidding, right, Egghead? Three years later and I never knew your middle name, and now I know why. Seriously, what were your parents thinking? Twilight… A Sparkle!”
“Funny, Dash. Mom always said I she knew I was going to be special even before I was born, when I was just a sparkle in Daddy’s eye.”
“Yeah, Twi, that wasn’t a sparkle in his eye. It was forty ounces of Apple Acres’ finest and a night without your brother in the house.”
“Keep laughing, Featherbrain. You know I’ll get you to be Rainbow Sparkle eventually. Your middle name is Aeryn, so you’ll be Rainbow Aeryn Sparkle, which I believe will make you - “
“Don’t say it. I’m warning you.”
” - Rainbow A. Sparkle. See? That won’t be so bad. Then you’ll be - “
“I mean it, don’t you dare say it out loud, Twilight!”
” - you’ll be A Sparkle too!”
“You’re toast. You are so toast, Sparky.”
“Got a better idea?”
“Naturally! How about Twilight Sparkle Dash? Coolness name-ified.”
“Name-ified? Rainbow, that’s not even… Oh, forget it. Besides, Twilight Dash sounds like another name for a midnight run to the liquor store.”
“And Rainbow Sparkle is any better? With a name like that, I might as well start wearing a flower bonnet and farting glitter.”
“Well, can you imagine my middle name, followed by Dash? I got teased enough in school for having a name like that followed by Sparkle.”
“BWAA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh sweet sweaty Celestias, that’s a good one! Wow, just - wow. How come I never said that out loud? That is so going on the next ‘You saved Ponyville’ banner. ‘Thank you for rescuing our collective flanks, Twilight A…’ “
“LA LA LA LA, I hear nothing! As I was saying before you reminded me why we always think long and hard about a foal’s name before we get to the delivery room - we could hyphenate. You could, or I could, or we could both hyphenate.”
“Uh, sorry, Twi, I know you like to get creative with your magic and all, but I’m not really into that super-kinky stuff, remember? I mean, sure, I guess we could try it, but only if you can promise me this time we can get the hamster out of the accordion.”
“First, Dash - ew. Try to separate what we actually did from what you were daydreaming about, okay? And it was a guinea pig, not a hamster. Second, I meant hyphenate, as in we could keep both last names. Twilight and Rainbow Sparkle-Dash. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“Oh, ah, yeah - that was totally what I meant. Sparkle-Dash? Not awful, at least. But Dash never comes in second, got it?”
“Okay, Dash-Sparkle. I like it! So it’s a go?”
“Huh? You were serious, T? Nope. No go.”
“Why not? It’s us, it’s romantic, it - “
“It would take me eighty-seven years to mouth-write. Rainbow Aeryn Dash-Sparkle? I think I got older just trying to say it out loud.”
“Fine, Rainbow. If you have a better suggestion, let’s hear it.”
“Well, traditionally ponies don’t adopt the parents’ names at all, right?”
“Correct. Ponies name their foals whatever they believe will be the best fit. There’s a theory by Hoofstadter about pony naming predestination paradoxes as they factor into cutie mark emergence, which - ”
“Focus, Egghead! Anyway, this whole sharing-of-names thing is modern, right?”
“Yes. It’s a contemporary trend which began as a fad in the Vanhoover-Trotronto area about twenty years ago and - oh, sorry. Um, yes. It’s recent.”
“So there aren’t any conventions yet about what name goes where, right?”
“Right.”
“Brain-ify this, Twilight. What if we swap middle names instead?”
“You mean I’d become Twilight Aeryn Sparkle, and you’d be Rainbow - ”
“Correct! We have the same middle initial, so you’d still be Twilight A. Sparkle and I’d still be Rainbow A. Dash. Problem solved, ten seconds flat.”
“That - that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard you suggest, Rainbow. I love it! But wait - remember what we said about Dash, if it comes after my middle name? How it would sound not a little - well, let’s call it unfortunate?”
“I know. Major loss of cool points. But that’s a bullet I’d take for you, Twilight.”
“And I wouldn’t make you, Rainbow. I know how much that would irk you, even if you wouldn’t admit it. How about this? I’ll take your middle name and become Twilight Aeryn Dash, while you take my last name and become Rainbow Dash Sparkle. Deal?”
“But I… I just… Oh, for the love of - fine. Rainbow D. Sparkle it is.”
“Wonderful! That’s my mare.”
“Yeah, I’m a sap. Don’t rub it in. Too bad you’ll have to lose a middle name like that, though. It was a real doozy.”
“That’s okay, Dash. Our family’s got a few of those to spare. Did I ever tell you Shining’s middle name? If you thought mine was bad, you’ll love this! His last name’s Armor, and we always called him Shiny. So keep that in mind, because his middle name is - “