Poking Pinkie Pie in the Pooper

by KingofSquirrelz

The Queen and the Princess

 
“All aboard!” the black coated train conductor shouted.
 
First to board the train was five mares, each cloaked in the most fashionable incognito capes made from the softest spider silk. Each mare took a seat onto a private cart at the far back of the train.  There was not another soul on board the train, nothing but the cool night air to keep the group of Travelers Company. The cyan blue pegasus was the first to uncloak herself after the was door shut behind them.
 
“Twilight, would you mind telling me why we are leaving in the middle of the night, instead of in the morning? I know Pinkie is going to be mad that we all ditched her.”
 
Twilight didn’t respond.
 
Next was the white mare, the most fashionable of the bunch to pose her question.
 
“Yes, Twilight I have to ask, why didn’t we tell Pinkie? Of anypony she should be the one here. Not to mention this poor lighting is going to do nothing for my complexion.”
 
“Well, if you want Rarity, we can leave you here and you can escort her home like you did in Appleloosa,” Applejack said with a snide smile.
 
“You leave me alone with her again and I’ll tell her you broke another Pinkie promise,” Rarity shot back.
 
Applejack shuddered, “You wouldn’t do that, plus you’d be lying.”
 
“Try me.”
 
“Girls, let’s not fight,” Squeaked Fluttershy, “I am sure this is just some big misunderstanding.”
 
The room went silent for a moment. This was entirely a possibility. The letter that they received from Carrot Cake could just be a lie. Why would Pinkie’s special human cheat on her?  Why with Cup Cake of all ponies. She was only in a trial separation. Although the letter was slightly written in favor of Carrot Cake to play him out as the victim, but beyond that, they couldn’t tell if any of it was a lie.
 
 “He better hope this is a misunderstanding,” Twilight finally spoke.
 
Twilight had recently been crowned as the Princess of Friendship.  It was a title that she had taken to heart, although the new set of wings that came with it was just a bonus. She really never felt like a alicorn, just a unicorn that had a set of wings. Of course, that never stopped her from trying to learn to fly however.  Twilight now felt that she must put it upon herself to protect all of her close friends; it was her duty as the alicorn of friendship.
 
“Twilight, we must be fair to him as well. This doesn’t sound like him at all. He was almost completely goo-goo eyes for Pinkie. Besides if on the very off chance that he really did cheat on her, why didn’t we just tell her? It was your idea Twilight to leave her in the Crystal Empire.”
 
Twilight pondered the question for a moment, should she tell them? Pinkie Pie did ask her not to say a word, but she didn’t make her Pinkie promise. It was a hard choice, but she decided to let them in on the secret.
 
“Girls let me ask you something, as long as you have known Pinkie has she ever asked you for anything ever?  I can’t think of a single instance where she asked me for something.” Twilight said as she looked out the train window.
 
The mares took a moment to think of something. The words rang true, Pinkie Pie had never asked any of them for anything. Nothing but their friendship, which they gave freely.
 
“Yesterday, she asked me for something, and she asked me not to tell you girls until she had made her decision.” Twilight went silent again.
 
“What was it?” Rainbow Dash questioned mildly irritated and interested.
 
“She asked me if I would be the one to wed her and her special somepony- err... human. She was going to ask him to marry her when we got back from the Crystal Empire.”
 
“Oh my,” Rarity chimed in, “She is already thinking of marriage? Well, they have been together awhile… it just seems so soon.”
 
“Oh my gosh,” Fluttershy beamed, “I can’t believe it. She never said anything.”
 
Applejack snorted, “Well I reckon I see why you want to get this settled in secret Twilight. Why did she only tell you though, and not all of us?”
 
Twilight smiled, “She can only choose one best mare. There is four of you and only one spot. She didn’t want you for fighting over who got to be the best mare.”
 
“Fine,” Rainbow Dash said still annoyed, she was missing her highly valued naptime, “When we get back to Ponyville, find Pinkie’s fiancée, get the truth out of him, then if he is cheating we pummel him to pieces.”
 
“Rainbow Dash, such violence is unbecoming,” Rarity stated, “we will geld him and nothing more,” She finished curtly.
 
Rainbow Dash didn’t say anything, she was already in full ignore mode as she tried her hardest to fall asleep in the comfy chair. It was a seven hour ride to Saddle Arabia and then a four hour trip to Ponyville.
 
Fluttershy hummed away in her corner, she didn’t want to be caught in a fight. Instead, she just sat there and took out a large pink ball of yarn and continued to knit away on a scarf she was preparing for Discord as a present.
 
Applejack tilted her hat over her muzzle and tried to catch some shut eye as well. Nothing to do now but wait, oddly though, Applejack loved long train rides. Her mind settled down a bit as the thought of being able to see her dog Winona again. She hoped Spike was taking real good care of her.
 
Rarity, however, was now sketching away dress designs for Pinkie’s wedding. She wanted the slot to be her best mare.
 
Twilight just looked out into the night sky. Pinkie was one of her best friends; she loved her like she was her own sister. No, she was a sister. She had long since earned the right to be considered family. This was the very first thing that Pinkie had ever asked of her and she was going to get to the bottom of it. At least now she could catch up on her reading.
 
There was no way Twilight could be going overboard with her new title and duties.
 

 
The morning sun bathed the odd couple in a warm light, as the first rays of morning peered through the bi-paneled window. The ray of light slowly crept across the patch work quilts on the pillow white pillow top mattress and you woke as it played across your face.  You licked your lips as you filled your lungs with oxygen, prepping your body for morning activities.
 
You lay there for a moment before you try to gather the energy to even move.  Last night didn’t end the way you’d hoped. At least the worst of it was behind you, and you still had a flawless reputation of keeping your promises.  Sometimes though, you really had to think if it was all worth just to keep your reputation intact.
 
Five thirty, great, more sleep.
 
You roll onto your side when you looked at the clock, there was still thirty more minutes left before you had to get up and start breakfast. Today was normally Pinkie’s turn to make breakfast, but you had long since volunteered to take her spot.
 
You felt two solid taps against your chest. You thought it was nothing or your body just refused to responded, sleep was top priority at the moment.
 
“Are you awake?” Cup Cake whispered.
 
You only responded with a loud ‘hmmm’ and giving her a tight squeeze to let her know that you were somewhere between the sleeping and awake.
 
“Honey, I need you to get up please.”
 
You opened your eyes, they derped a few moments, but after a few solid blinks, they focused back to their original state. You grumble a bit louder and finally manage to focus in on Cup Cake. She looked almost pleading, there were even tears bordering her eyes.
 
“What is it Cup Cake?”
 
“I just hit my estrous cycle…” she said in a fevered tone.
 
“It’s ok Hun; I’ll look at the dryer tonight. It’s nothing to be that worried about.” You give her pudge another good squeeze as you rest the base of your chin on the mushed swirl of her mane.
 
“No it’s my estrous cycle,” She repeated in a heated breath. “I need your help…”
 
“Yes,” you grumbled, “you can have the rinse cycle. Just let me eat my fish in taco sauce.” 
 
Cup Cake grumbled, and decided that she would take things into her own hooves. Slowly, she wormed her way out of the crux of your arms. It took far more effort than it should have to push you onto your back. She had a good clue on how to get you up.
 
After a few minutes of warming and pulling the mare found her prize. The throbbing member was already standing at full attention from servicing the bouncing beauties that wandered throughout your dreams.  You only grunted as your cock grew even harder under her touch. Cup ran her fore hooves along it as the flesh became more swollen.
 
“Time to get up,” Cup whispered.
 
Cup Cake opened wide and plunged as far down as she could, enveloping your entire stiff mast into her mouth with one motion. She gagged a bit as the hard member pushed against the back of her throat.  Suddenly, you were fully awake. Coffee be damned.  You gasp hard, forcing your lungs to fill, as the jolt of pleasure surges throughout your body.
 
“Cup!” you said breathing slightly heavy. You were going to protest, but who in their right mind would refuse a morning blowjob?
 
Cup dragged her tongue from the base of your shaft to the tip of your now reddening head. She licked her lips slightly enjoying the
 
“I. Need. You. Now. I. Am. In. Heat.” Every single word escaped her mouth with a lustfully, painful drip as she laid down on top of you. Slowly inching her way up your midriff to try to align her swollen mound with it’s equally engorged counterpart. She now eyed you like a lion looking down on a fresh slab of meat.
 
Part of you was almost crestfallen in the act, you had wanted your next time with Cup Cake to be one of those rich, fluffy, vanilla love making sessions. Alas, you knew full well what kind of session came from heat endorsed sex. It wasn’t a want, it was a need. A mare in heat could be a frightening thing, Pinkie had told you some horror stories of what she had to gone through when she was in heat, and didn’t have the ‘equipment’ to help her. You could never look at a cucumber the same way again. You knew full well that Cup needed relief. You could only guess it felt similar to ‘blue ball’ syndrome.
 
 At least it was nice waking up to your member getting licked. Unlike when Pinkie does it, you almost always woke up handcuffed to the bed with a horse bit in your mouth. Good times… good times.
 
“Want to try something a little bit more my speed?” you ask the lusting mare.
 
Cup Cake just nodded in agreement, she knew full well she was the less experienced one here. Her wet mound throbbed, not in a good way. It didn’t want any tricks, it wanted release, and it didn’t give a damn how it happened.
 
“Turn around, lay back flat on my stomach, and hold on,” you order with a smirk.

Cup nearly flipped on command as she followed your instruction. You almost lost it as the wet threshold now freely streamed onto your waist.
 
You spread your legs apart, as you let the mare slide down onto your shaft.  Cup Cake whinnied and whimpered as the thick throbbing member slid into her pink folds. Her body now started to fill up with a sensual warmth that spread throughout her body like brushfire.
 
“Oh sweet Celestia, I love you so much right now,” she sighs through clenched teeth.
 
“Don’t thank me yet, you might not be able to walk after this,” you reply.

You were being truthful, Pinkie Pie couldn’t walk after you did this to her during her heat. It wasn’t some masterful sex move; it was just the use of gravity mixed with a little bit of skill.  
 
It was something you only did while Pinkie was in heat; essentially you were quite literally going to ‘pound that pussy raw’. It usually left bruises on her inner walls that left stimulation of a cock still inside. Perfect for a mare who would want to have intercourse several times throughout the day.
 
“Try to lock your back hooves, and when I start don’t open your mouth to much, you might bite your tongue.” Cup didn’t care; she was already starting to get close from the few slight thrusts of that hot, veiny rod inside her.
 
You hold her firmly in place with your right arm, as the fingers of your left hand teasingly circle her wanting clit. And then you ram into her using your real weight.
 
Cup Cake’s eyes widened as she felt the wind get knocked out of her. Her body would have bounced well over a meter in the air if you were not holding her down against your chest. Pure ecstasy overwhelmed the agony of the savage penetration she experienced and whisked her off her hooves, as her mind left reality.
 
It was the same as before when, she’d first felt your real weight being thrust into her. The shockwave sent out through her body was visible through her coat. Every muscle fiber in her body now started to burn as each cell was stretched to its limits.
 
Now, though, you had to get started, there was a lot more to be done. You clench every muscle in your legs and haunches as you started to drive yourself into her again. Normally, you would have started from a slow pace and worked up to a fast paced fevered fucking. No, not this time.
 
You could tell how fast you were thrusting; your best guess would have been an even seven to eight thrusts per second.  Each thrust slamming to her velvet walls.  The room reeked of sex and body fluids as her coat became matted with sweat. This tantalizing sensation was incredible, but too much for the body to bear. Cup came fast and hard as she sprayed the far off oak dresser with two solid shots of her love juice.
 
You decided to speed it up more; you wanted every single thrust to be remembered. You wanted to make sure that her body remembers you. Each velvet fold of her tantalizing marehood now begged for your cock.
 
Waves of bliss threatened to wash her consciousness away, but she fought to stabilize. Her whole body was starting to go numb, each pump of your throbbing member made if feel like she was being tenderized. What she felt though, through all the pain and ecstasy was an odd, new sensation.
 
She could feel it though your pulsating protrusion, it was your heartbeat. She loved having that feeling inside of her, the feeling of another being that loved her making her feel this way. What she loved most about it, though, was that it was beating along with hers.
 
Each beat was in perfect sync with her own heart. She could tell easily enough since it felt like your cock was boring into her skull. She couldn’t feel her nethers anymore; in reality she actually couldn’t feel anything below her neck.
 
She couldn’t even tell anymore if she was cumming. All she felt anymore was the veiny heartbeat ringing inside her body, she could feel the sound. There was a slight ringing in her ears though.  Her body now just gave up, and decided to shut down to let her nervous system catch up.
 
You took the chance to move your hands back to the places you knew she loved.  One hand grazed her sides while the other teased her nipples.  Her entire body was quivering now, and a small whimper escaped her. Her mane had fallen into your face, and you realised that flowery smell you could never place came from it.
 
Now you were resisting her walls, you were pounding away like virgin sinking his cock into wet pussy for the first time. Her back arches a little more than usual, just before she lets out that endearing moan that always does you in.
 
The sensation proved to be too much and you came, pumping wave after wave of hot seed into her.  It was an eternity later when you stopped, and you could feel it trickling out of her and onto your balls and legs. This was no act of sensual lovemaking that you wanted, it was a mere exchange. Soothing her loins before it really started to cause her physical pain, and in return you enjoyed your own euphoric bliss.
 
You finally crane your head up from your sweat soaked pillow. Cup Cake was… you really didn’t know. Her body was convulsing and twitching. Your best guess was either she was having a stroke, or still riding out her orgasms.
 
Her pussy acting like a squirtgun thankfully gave you your answer. Not to mention the mile wide grin she was sporting. She was giggling like a school filly as she stared blankly at the ceiling.
 
You were pretty sure you broke her.
 
Then you had a look at the room, you didn’t know when, but at some point, the far left leg of the bed had snapped. The dresser was covered in Cup Cake’s juices, one side note it looked like it had just gotten a fresh coat of primer. The wooden floor now had four new ruts. Beyond that, everything seemed to be in order.
 
Now though, it was time to get up. No matter how you swung it, you had a lot to do. The world revolved around the good old-fashioned bit, and you had a lot to do before you opened the doors to the store. First order of business, you smelled like sex. A nice, hot shower was in order.
 
You decided to put Cup Cake back to bed, she needed to get some more rest. Making sure to prop up the broken bed post with the books that Twilight had given you for your birthday. The series didn’t make much sense, it was something about the levied between a pony and a werewolf and a vampire.  You at least read the back of the books, now the small saga of romance fantasy novels had a real purpose.
 
You made your way to the shower, thankfully Lyra had kept her word, and cleaned up the bathroom after last night. On a side note, you were never going to eat corn again. It always annoyed you that you had to kneel in order to get a real shower.
 
Today was going to be a great day though, a nice day of hard work baking sweets, not to mention you have to do inventory after the milk delivery.  Letting Cup Cake sleep meant you had to take on her responsibilities as well until she got up. Which, by your best from her snoring, meant she would be out for quite a while.
 
Sometime after four you had your play date with, Diamond Tiara. A nice walk in the park, her telling you about her day, some huge montage of lies about something irrelevant. Maybe even a crusader bashing spree. You hoped one day she would grow bored of that, you liked the crusaders, and they loved your shakes.
 
To top the day off, you were also going to talk to Princess Luna about the harvest moon. That was something you had to prepare for.  One does not simply go and talk to a princess.  You really didn’t know how to present yourself.  Granted, you had some knowhow from movies, but who knows how actually acted, compared to how they were portrayed. At least last time you saw the princesses you were excused because you didn’t even know they were royalty.  Now you didn’t have that excuse to save you now.
 
You took it in stride; this was a secret outing for her, so maybe you didn’t have to act all fake. But, before all that, you had to get the twins up, and talk to Bon Bon and Lyra. You couldn’t stay in the shower long. There was lots to do, and little time to do it in.
 
When you walked into your room though, it was empty. On the pillow though was a note:
 
Hey-
Sorry about last night, my bad. Didn’t think I would blow up on you like that.  Me and Bon Bon left late last night when the rain stopped. Bon felt a little sick after helping me clean up. Also she had to be at her shop when deliveries came in. I have practice with Octavia at nine and a recital later today. Bon Bon said she would stop by later today, but she didn’t say when.
-Lyra

Dammit, Lyra’s concert was next week. You still needed a suit, great time for Rarity to be out of town. Then it hit you, the only two people were in the house.
 
There was no one to take care of the twins. Cheerilee, Pinkie, Lyra, Bonbon and even Pearl were out. There was no way you were going to ask Carrot Cake. You didn’t want him anywhere near them. No, there was a pony… a pony who had a nice big office that the twins could play around in.
 
And you knew her weaknesses.
 
After grabbing a to-go bag for the twins, getting them ready. Some goats’ milk ‘somehow’ worked its way into their regular milk. It didn’t put them to sleep, but it sure pacified them enough to be carried. Both twins were now ready, Pumpkin and Pound now eagerly downing their second bottle as you locked them into the stroller.
 
It was a weird comforting feeling; you really loved playing the father role.
 

Five large windows of double paned seamless glass let golden warmth of the sun in. The light brown curtains with the golden fringe were pulling back just right to let in the right amount of light. The highly polished mahogany desk was one of the finest in the town.
 
Mayor Mare was sure it was the only one in the town.
 
To the right along the wall was a weight high bookshelf filled with laws and tax prefigures that no pony ever actually read but were by law required to have. On the left was world map that spanned the entire wall, and in the dead center was a bright red pin where Ponyville was labeled.
 
Although there sat Mary in her black swivel office chair, bored. All work she had to do was finished yesterday. Only thing now was to make sure the town didn’t get destroyed and wait until Thursday when she went through the weekly tax reports.
 
“Mayor Mare,” the intercom on the desk came to life, “You have a visitor.”
 
Mayor Mare pressed down on the return button.
 
“Who is it? I don’t have any appointments today.”
 
“It’s… a human with two foals. He says they’re your godfoals.”
 
“The Cake twins?” Mare questioned.
 
“I believe so,” The receptionist returned.
 
“Send them in.”
 

 
You opened the head wooden door pulling the stroller behind you on the soft fog grey carpet. It was a pleasant feeling, walking into a cool room with a nice atmosphere.
 
Mayor Mare squeed, she loved seeing her godfoals. Once a week on card night was never enough in her opinion. Seeing you was also a treat, but not anywhere near equal to the twins.
 
“Hey Mary,” you said as you took a seat in one of the red velvet plush chairs. You twisted the stroller around and left the foals to their fate. Mary wasted no time in coming over to see her favorite twins.
 
“Well isn’t this a pleasant surprise,” Mary chirped as she nuzzled her mane against Pound’s tummy, “You three just made my day so much better.”
 
“That’s great! That means you would love to take care of them for today,” You said with a cheesy smile.
 
Mary stopped her nuzzling and looked at you, “Say what now?”
 
“I’m kind of in a pinch, I need you to take care of them for today. There is quite literally no one else I can turn to,” You made the saddest puppy face you could muster, “Pwease?”
 
Mary took a moment to think it over, the worst part is that she was like you. There was a bottom line to everything, even if she was getting the better deal.
 
“You know I have a lot to do today,” she lied, “I would be at a severe disadvantage if I took care of them and ran the town… maybe if there was a little something you could do to calm my nerves.”
 
You knew what she wanted, you and Mary had shared a similar addiction. One that you two would sneak downstairs on Sunday nights when everyone was asleep and satisfy yourselves till your heart’s content.
 
It wasn’t powdered joke, or morphine, although you and Pinkie did experiment one night with both. Vinyl Scratch had the best ‘stress relievers’ around.  No this was something far more addictive.
 
You licked your lips as you grabbed the satchel of diapers and other necessities of what a caregiver would need. In the middle satchel however was the object of desire.  Slowly you pulled out a glass vial, in it was the pure white substance that you both would probably kill for if given the chance.
 
You didn’t have an addiction though, you could quit whenever you wanted… you just chose not too is all.
 
Mary swallowed large pool saliva that was gathering at the back of her mouth. “Is that… what I think it is?”
 
“Yes,” you cooed. “One liter of the purest milk from none other than Cup Cake’s cousin, Milky Way.” You said in a sultry voice.
 
You have never met Milky, but you sure did love her milk. Maybe the cows were just different in Trottingham. You once questioned Cup Cake about it, but all she would say about the subject was that her special talent was milking, and left it at that.
 
What made this milk special though, was not just its unique flavor and texture, it was its rarity. Thanks to the high import tariffs from Trottingham to Equestria, selling outside the country was not a wise move financially.  Milky though did make one exception, one single sweet shop in a tiny town of Ponyville. Having connections was one of the greatest things in the world of business.
 
Mary pushed up her glasses up the bridge of her muzzle. Her delicate sky blue eyes watched as a single droplet of condensed water slid down the glass. The cool refreshment taunted her, calling her to drink its delicious contents.
 
“I think we can come to some sort of agreement here.” She said never looking away from the prize.
 
“Good, the nice cool, refreshing taste will keep you focused during your day.”
 
Mary shook herself as she came to her senses, “I actually wanted to talk to you today as well,” She said as she finally was about to look away from the rare delicacy, “I heard from a little birdy that someone has started herding.”
 
This put you on your guard. “Yes, so far Cup Cake and Cheerilee have joined. Pinkie doesn’t know about it though.”
 
“Yes, Pearl told me the other day. I am glad to see Cup Cake moved on. What i wanted to ask you is: what are you doing Thursday?”
 
“As far as I know nothing…” you said slightly curious.
 
“Good…” a sly smile grew on her face. “Pearl also told me that you three had a bit of fun the other night. I must say that I am a little curious…”
 
“Really?” you said with a mixture of curiosity and excitement.
 
“Yes. You see me and Pearl and Dazzle have something of a small click. We each help each other out when things get… heated. It seems Dazzle and Orion were going to talk to you Wednesday, to see if you were interested in join a little gathering we have planned on Thursday. Since you here I figure why not just ask now and get this whole sordid affair out of the way.”
 
“I see…” You had a sinking suspicion.
 
“Yes… you see, we have already set up partners for our little… excursion. Since I do not have a stallion for myself to…. barter off I am just going to be thrown in with a random pair. But if I had a male partner I can have my own choice.”
 
“So you want me to be your partner so you can get what now?”
 
“Orion, normally he likes to watch Dazzle play around with other males. However if the numbers are even, that would be an impossible act, and I never have gotten a turn with him alone. I usually get stuck with Dazzle, and he just watches us.”
 
“Yeah, I think I might have to pass on that… I’m pretty sure Cup Cake would hate me more if I just started randomly having sex with every mare that just offers herself to me.”
 
Mary shook her head, “You don’t have to have sex, just keep her busy for an hour or so. Maybe just walk with her around town or something. Please, I really want to try Orion just once. His cock is huge!”
 
Well now she was being honest at least.

“So all you need to do is just keep her company, maybe bring her to the spa or something. Please, you would be doing me a huge favor. Trust me when I say this, I NEED that cock.”
 
“Fine, I’ll go. Maybe I’ll show her the river or something.” You said trying not to think of the act that would most likely have accompany it. It was very, very tempting, but you were pretty sure Cup Cake would be devastated if you just started to systematically fuck all of her friends just because she gave you the go ahead.
 
She might just say ok just because she knows you would want to.
 
“I’m going to head out; I need to go prepare the shop for lunch.”
 

Being the only baker in a shop that normally needed three highly skilled ones was by far the worst thing ever.  Keeping track of the front and back measurements and times ran you almost completely ragged. The three ovens were running at full capacity off muffins and cupcakes. The Bismarck thankfully was easy enough to make.
 
Screw making tarts, if anyone wanted one of those, they could just go hungry.
 
What was getting to you most though, wasn’t the ovens baking you from the heat they were giving off, or the beam that you kept hitting no matter how hard you tried to avoid it. No, it was the customers. You haven’t even opened up shop yet, and there was a line outside the front door.
 
There were no new items on the menu, there wasn’t anything special going on. Yet, there was almost a hundred ponies outside and you were sure one of them was a gryphon. This was not boding well for you, and to top it all off, your feet hurt.
 
You did want Cup Cake to catch up on her sleep, so waking her up was out of the question. Now was a time to man up. Now you had to unlock the door.
 
Ding-a-Ling
 
It seemed like literally every pony ever tried to fill the front of the store. Being overheated was not working in you favor. But you had to put on your best customer service face.
 
“Good evening, can I get you something?” you asked the first customer who seemed to push his way to the front of the line. The stallion looked more nervous than hungry.
 
“Ahh… yeah you could say that.” He leaned in over the counter.  “Can I get a dozen chocolate frosted cupcakes?” he said nervously.
 
You nod; you already had three dozen chocolate cupcakes set up, wrapped and ready for consumption.
 
“Twelve bits,” You say but the money was already on the counter, “Thank you.”
 
“Oh, can you sign the box for me too please?” the magenta unicorn asked.
 
“You… want me to sign the box?” you questioned.
 
“Yes, can you make it out to “my favorite patron Star Cone”?”
 
“Uhh… sure, let me get my marker.”
 
After fishing around in your pocket for a moment you grab the black oil pen you use to mark the shelf life on products. Taking a moment to carefully sign the top of the box.
 
“Oh… can you sign it… ‘From Frost’? Please?”
 
“Seriously?” You dead plan. He nodded. Sometimes you really did wonder if that one intense would really follow you to your grave.
 
“From Frost,” you say slowly as you put down each letter.
 
“Thank you! It’s my anniversary and I can’t tell you how happy my wife will be now.”
 
What a great guy, giving chocolate cupcake as an anniversary gift. Well it was chocolate, women do love chocolate. That is a fact of life that has yet to be disproven.
 
“Next.” You say in you rehearsed customer service voice. The next one was one of your favorite customers, the lovable mother, Derpy. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, how is little Dinky?”
 
“She is at home right now; she was playing in the rain yesterday, and caught a cold,” Derpy said slightly crestfallen.
 
“Oh no,” you said actually worried for the little filly, “Well how about I give the little filly a oatmeal muffin on the house. I am sure that will cheer her up and oatmeal is good for you when you’re sick,” You stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
 
“Thank you!” Derpy beamed.
 
You took a moment to gather Derpy’s usual order, twelve triple blueberry muffins and was special oatmeal muffin.
 
“Fifteen bits, Derpy.” You said in a tender tone.
 
Derpy just raised a brow, “But I haven’t ordered yet…”
 
“Twelve blueberry muffins and one oatmeal for little Dinky.” You stated.
 
Derpy’s face went scarlet, “I don’t want any muffins… I wanted chocolate frosted cupcakes.”
 
[…]
 
“What?”

You were pretty sure the world turned off the volume. Everypony in the room went completely silent. Derpy had never, not ordered muffins, ever.

“You are Derpy right?”
 
Derpy’s ears flattened against her head, “I’m sorry, I can’t afford both, and I really wanted your famous cupcakes.” You could see some tears starting to gather around the bridge of her eyes.
 
Oh crap.
 
“No, no it’s ok. It’s my mistake; here you can take the muffins for free. You are one of our most loyal customers after all.” A loud sigh was came from the crowd behind Derpy, all was right with the world again, she got her muffins. “It will be twelve bits for the cupcakes.”
 
“Thank you!” even though she ordered the cupcakes that didn’t stop her from taking a nice large bite of the muffin, “Can… can you sign the cupcake box as well?”
 
“Et tu, Derpy, et tu?” you sigh, beginning to sense a trend.
 
“Does that mean yes?” Derpy said perplexed.
 
You sighed, “From ‘Frost’?” She gleefully nodded. The customer is always right. “Give Dinky my best,” you half shouted across the shop to make sure she heard you as she left.

“Next.”
 
Cupcakes, every single customer ordered cupcakes. A single box of twelve to go, each one wanting you to sign the box with your nickname. You had prepared five hundred and four cupcakes, the muffins had barely been scratched. An hour had passed and the line hadn’t yet been halved.
 
“Next.” You half heartedly say as a stallion made his way before you.
 
“Hey, are you that Frost fella that went and done sex-a-fied Carrot’s wife.” You couldn’t help but notice the deep southern drawl emanating from his voice.
 
“Sir, do you have an order?” you said with growing irritation.
 
“Oh you bet I do, I need six dozen of those chocolate cupcakes. Me and my girls are going to try a little ex-per-i-mint-ta-ti-on tonight,” The stallion boldly boated.
 
“I’m sorry sir; I only have four dozen left.”
 
“Hey, I need six dozen. I got the bits, just make two more dozen. I need them pronto.” He said as he slicked back his mane.
 
“Sorry sir, the cupcake batter I use is special and requires two ingredients I don’t have at the moment.” It was true, the delivery of the Trottingham milk didn’t come until five in the afternoon and you only had two pouches of chocolate frosting left.
 
“What do you mean there are only for dozen left!” came a shout from the back.
 
A frantic mare pushed her way to the front. “I’ll pay you twenty four bits a dozen.”
 
“Hey! No cuts lady.” The stallion nudged the mare to the side.
 
“I’ll pay forty eight bits for a dozen!” shouted a mare behind the stallion.
 
“Fifty!”
 
“Fifty five!”

Then a very twisted idea came to the back of your mind. Alas, it came at a heavy price to you, your name. You had to think for a moment, would you sell your good name for money? You raise an arm and point to the crowd.
 
“Do I hear eighty bits for a dozen of ‘Frost’s Special Chocolate Frosted Cupcakes’? One bite will send you into nirvana and back. Saves love losing its spark, helps goats with a bad disposition, cures the howling of cats, attacks from fruits bats and little dogs to forget how to bark.”
 
No, you weren’t going to sell you good name for money, you were going to sell it for a lot of money.
 
Huge difference.
 
“Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, I have here the most effective cure for almost all ailments. Aching joints, aching hearts, sir do you wake up in the night wondering if anyone noticed that bald spot? No sir, with one tiny cupcake will cure that bald probably. Your mare not satisfied with your performance in the bedroom? Well take two cupcakes just before intercourse and I guarantee increased vitality and energy, I think.”
 
You take a large breathe.
 
“Mothers, do you worry that your fillies and colts are getting sick just a little too easily? Well one cupcake a day and I and am probably sure that they will not get sick. Last but not least, they make a tasty snack. Now I know you want this tasty treat, but I am here to tell you that you need this. Because who can really put a price on the wellbeing of our foals,” You clap your hands together, “Please… think of the children.”
 
“One twenty!” Came the shout of an elderly mare.
 
“One fifty!”
 
“One eighty five!”
 
You could only wonder who in the world brings that many bits to a bakery. Not to mention that a dozen cupcakes only cost around five bits to make.
 
“Four hundred bits a dozen!” commanded a stallion from the far back.
 
You slap your hand against the counter, “Sold to the stallion in the back. Thank you all for coming, I promise that I will make thousands of cupcakes tomorrow to satisfy all your palettes.”
 
Loud groans were heard throughout the store and even down to the end of the line. You even heard some death threats, that oddly was a huge compliment. Slowly, the ponies started to disperse. You didn’t care if you made another sale all day.
 
In the far back stood two stallions that you easily could recognize, Mr. Rich and his personal bodyguard… Fluffy.
 
“Well Mr. Rich, I must say I thank for you patronage,” You say with a gleeful smile.
 
The stallion and his companion made their way to the counter. “Nothing but a drop in the bucket my friend. I’m glad to see you have some business knowhow, now I’m really regretting that you’re not a stallion.”
 
You always liked to entertain the thought of becoming a stallion, even if only for the girth benefits that came with it.
 
“Sometimes my friend, I really wish I was. Now let’s get down to payment. That will be sixteen hundred for the cupcakes,” The moment the words left your lips eighth largest sacks appeared behind you with the loud familiar sound of gold hitting wood all thanks to mute unicorn bodyguard.
 
“I trust though, your product will keep to its praising…” Rich warned. “There is a little annoying Pomeranian that keeps coming into my yard and using it for his own personal bathroom.”
 
You chuckle, “Well just casually put the cupcakes on your lawn, if the dog accidentally’ eats them… who is to say what would happen?”
 
“Yes…” He said as a demonic smirk pursed his lips,  “Worth every bit. Now, though, there is the matter of my dear Diamond Tiara. It seems you asked to take her out for the evening. I was just wondering, what your plans with her?”
 
You hadn’t really put that much thought into it; maybe take her to a sit down restaurant and after a walk in the park.
 
“I have the whole thing planned out, sort of. We’re just going to out to eat, maybe catch a movie, or take a stroll through the park,” You said as you took a seat on a metal stool.
 
“Yes, that sounds appropriate. Just make sure you act accordingly. From what I hear from my maids, she been up all night with Silver Spoon. Normally I would look past this, but if I know Diamond she may be trying something.”
 
You wave a hand dismissively, “She gave me a gift yesterday. It was most likely about that. You should have seen her face when she gave it to me though, it was priceless,”  You really didn’t worry about it, what was the worst that a filly could do.
 
“Good, then I shall leave you too it then. Oh and try to make sure it’s memorable.”
 
“If you want, I could pull out every cliché niche I know,” Going the whole stereotypical date did have its perks. Although you never were one to just go with the normal. Normal was forgettable, which is what you wanted to avoid.
 
“Fine, oh and one more thing.” Rich leaned in over the counter. “She… well she had her dentist appointment earlier today. She just found out she is going to have to get braces so she might be a little irritable.”
 
 “When is she going to get them?” You kinda wanted to see her with braces, it was oddly hard to imagine.
 
“Next week, we tried to get it done today, but Diamond is allergic to steel. There is an alloy of tin and silver they have but they had to special order it.”
 
You nod, “Metal allergies are the worst, I’ll make note of that, thanks.” You look to the side of the rich stallion and a oddity caught your eye that was sticking out of his bag.
A lantern.
 
“What is with the lantern?” you questioned.
 
“This? Well… it’s a long story. Today is a special day is all. Speaking of which, I must be off.”
 
You and Rich exchanged your goodbyes, making sure to set the cupcakes on Fluffy’s back before they left. You had to give him credit; he was a very attentive father.  Not many would go as far as he does to make sure their daughter is happy.
 

“What do you mean the trains aren’t running?!” the alicorn huffed. “We need to get to Ponyville.”
 
The colt bowed as low as he possibly could, his snout taking in the dry sand on the flat boards of the risky office.
 
“I am very sorry Princess Twilight. Mudslides have covered the tracks for almost one hundred miles,” The poor stallion spoke, every word pleading for forgiveness, like it was his fault.
 
“This is Saddle Arabia,” Twilight said with growing resolve. “Your country is known for sand and sapphires. How did this happen?”
 
Head down and eyes shut, he spoke. “There seems to be massive storm system coming from the south. It has moistened the ground to the point where the trains don't run. We won’t be able to move the trains until it passes over.”
 
Twilight took a breath and calmed her nerves, unexpected things happened all the time.
 
“I need to get to Ponyville as soon as possible. Do you have any ways of traversing that distance in a short amount of time?” Twilight questioned.
 
“No my princess, the only way to get passed is to destroy the cloud system. Saddle Arabia does not have a weather patrol.”
 
Twilight clicked her tongue in irritation, but she had an idea… More precisely she had a friend who was not just on weather patrol, but the weather patrol captain.
 

 
“No way,” Rainbow Dash said folding her wings to her side.
 
“What? Why not?” Twilight said as she took a seat on the chair in Rainbow’s room, a room that was completely complemented for the friends of the alicorn.
 
Rainbow sighed as she looked out the window, she could clearly see the massive behemoth slowly trudging across the sky.
 
“Twilight, when it comes to magic, I will come to you for advice, when it comes to weather you talk to me. That storm system is called a “Big Bertha”. Its what we use to put water back into the earth. You don’t break ‘Big Bertha’. You push it in a direction that needs water the most.
 
Twilight narrowed her eyes and huffed.
 
“Please Dash, you know we need to get to Ponyville. Think about Pinkie, think how hurt she will be if she finds out if this is all true.”
 
Dash did feel horrible about it, but nothing could be done.
 
“Look Twilight, I could try and break it up if I had a lighting suit and a weather patrol with me. We don’t have either, if I tried to break that cloud it would be a death sentence. I don’t think Pinkie would want that.”
 
Twilight sighed as her ears matted against the side of her head.
 
“But... Pinkie…”

 
Time started to drag by after you ran out of cupcakes. Part of you wanted to close up shop, but you wanted to see Cup Cake’s face when she saw how much the store racked in today. Once in awhile, a random pony would come in asking if there were more cupcakes in stock but you just had to turn them away.
 
Now the day just drifted by, leaving you to watch the sun crawled away on the floor. It was almost two o’clock, and not a single patron had come by. You were definitely going to have to do a bank run before four. Having this many bits just lying around was not safe.
 
Leaving your mind to wander, you could try your hardest not to think about it, but your mind still thought of Pinkie Pie.  It was starting to eat away on your insides. You made Cup Cake feel happy and special, but you had cheated on Pinkie to do it. Part of you wished she could be home now so you could talk to her. Tell her you’re sorry.
 
Ding-a-Ling
 
“Welcome—“ you stopped dead in the middle of your sentence at the sight of the mare that had just entered the shop.
 
She had a silky smooth silver mane that just seemed to catch the light perfectly, and an auburn coat that seemed to shimmer and gleam.  She had a white patch that ran down her muzzle that complemented her forest green eyes. Something strange about her though, was the saddle she was wearing. Her pure white wings were the most beautiful you had ever seen, they even put Celestia’s to shame. It looked like it was made from leather and was meant to be ridden, much unlike the frilly, lace adorned, for-show saddles that mares occasionally wore to show off their class.
 
Amongst ponies, the act of wearing leather was a forbidden concept. Although, this only applied to ponies. You have seen gryphon with tribal leaders before and once a Minotaur wearing a brown duster. A pony to wear leather, though, was an oddity. Out of respect of pony norms, you never wore leather.
 
There was something about her though, something wrong, like there was something missing.
 
Well... maybe that wasn’t quite the right wording. She seemed perfect, too perfect, like a hand stitched doll, tailored for just one purposed.
 
The mare looked at you and then looked away, nervously flitting her gaze around the room in an attempt to find some other object to draw her attention. As you were the only living thing in the room, her efforts proved to be in vain.
 
“Hi,” She said, taking small steps towards the counter.

The mare had not expected you to be working the front counter. She had been fully expecting to see a mare with a curly pink mane. She wasn’t complaining though, the walk had left her more than famished, and her hunger was already being satisfied just by standing in your radiance.
 
Now that she was looking at you, she couldn’t look away. She knew full well what she wanted, the changeling just wanted to experience real happiness. Happiness with a monster that was all alone in the world.
 
Just like her.
 
“I am sorry, if you are here for chocolate cupcakes, they sold out awhile ago,” You stated.
 
“Oh… that’s alright I was just interested in browsing anyway…” she said as her face started to turn scarlet.
 
“Well then, come in and sit down. I can make just about anything,” As long as you had a cookbook you could go off of.
 
The mare took a seat next to the open window at the far end of the shop. She knew she needed to order something, even if she was sensitive to sweets. Not to mention she detested them, she tried not to think of the irony in falling for a creature who made the horrid confections.
 
“Do you mind if I just rest here for a moment? I just need a little hiatus from the heat.”
 
You nod.
 
“It’s ok, just take your time,” You say, trying to seem hospitable, “I have never seen you around here before, are you new to town?”
 
She looked at you with a growing smile, “Yes, you could say I just got into town a little bit ago.”
 
“You should come back next week, there is a mare in town the celebrates all new comers.”
 
The mare gave a sigh of relief that Pinkie was not anywhere to be found. There was something always offsetting about the pink party pony.
 
“It’s alright; I won’t be in town long enough for that,” Truth be told she didn’t even know if she could last the next few days, but one thing was for sure.
 
She would be long dead before next week arrived.
 
“That’s a shame, she loves throwing parties,” You say with a smirk.
 
“I was wondering,” the mare spoke slowly never turning her gaze from the window, “What are you?”
 
This question took you back a little bit. It had been a long time since anyone had taken an interest in your background. It had come up once in awhile with young foals, but it was a rare topic amongst actual adults, because frankly the subject matter was really worn out.
 
“I’m a human,” You stated.
 
“I see,” The mare said.

Being an animal the feasted on emotions, it was important to draw out the conversation as much as possible. Under normal circumstance she would force the subject to love her. This was different though. If she tried she would die, that much was certain. It required an enormous amount of magical ability to draw out emotion.
 
Even if she could though, she didn’t want to do that with you. She wanted something real, at least once.  It still didn’t matter that she has no idea what she was doing without her magic to help her. She knew almost everything about you worth knowing.
 
“My name is Epona; I come from the lands far to the south.”
 
“Oh, a southern bell, my name is—“
 
The mare raised a hoof, “I already know your name, I was here earlier. Every box you signed said “Frost’. That is quite an interesting name.”
 
“Well, actually, no my real name is—“ you cut yourself off, “Did you say your name was Epona?”
 
She nodded.
 
“Yes, is it not to your liking?”
 
 You shook your head, “No it’s just… well I know an Epona. Kind of, sort of, it’s just an odd thing to hear is all.”
 
“I see,” the skin she was wearing was just a lie. It wasn’t for you she wore the skin, it was for the ponies around you. She knew you well enough; she had seen your past. The type of guy you were, a monster just like her.
 
This wasn’t going the way she’d planned out in her mind. The scene was boring, it felt unreal and forced. She didn’t have time for what she wanted; she was risking her life for a lie. What she did know more than anything, was that you could keep a secret.
 
“I want to tell you something, Frost,” She looked over at you square in the face, “What would you do if I said I am a shape shifting insect who was a queen of an impressive changeling army? Now I am the sole survivor because of a magical poison that killed off my entire family is now slowly killing me. To top it all off using the last bit of magic I had I changed into a pony so that I could get near you because I have fallen in love with you.”
 
You paused for a moment, trying to take in every word.
 
“Ok… well.”
 
God damn why do I always have to serve the weird ones.
 
“Well let’s see here, first off, shapeshifting insect’ sounds completely made up from a spotty fantasy novel. Your ‘magical poison’ has no real name, if I were you I would find someone to diagnose it so it doesn’t sound made up. Like the black plague or something cool like that. Magical poison just kind of sounds lame.”
 
Epona really never thought of that, what was it called?
 
“Also on the whole, ‘I have fallen in love with you’ is nice and all, but it sounds like the creasy working of a badly written, half assed fan fiction. Not that all are bad mind you but it kind of sounds trashy to me.”
 
She sighed, she had to try.
 
“Ok, well suppose that it was all true, what would you do if I had a short time to live and I wanted to spend it with you.”
 
You dead panned, why did you always get stuck with the weird mares. Oh well, if anything, it was entertaining.
 
“Ok, suppose I entertain the thought for a moment. You said you were a shape shifter, change into something for me.”
 
She shook her head. “If I use magic I will die faster, the poison is magical.”
 
“Right, seriously sounding like the plot to a badly written story. If I were you, I would think of a better concept than, ‘please be with me in my dying moments’ bit. I will give you credit on originality though. The whole tragic fated romance part though has been done to death.”
 
Epona just stared down at the table. She wasn’t any good at finding romance without magic.
 
“Well, what if I said I really liked you, and I wanted to spend some time with you.”
 
You thought about it for a moment, granted her story was a pill to swallow but that was nothing compared to what you been though with Diamond Tiara.
 
“I would say either you’re really hungry and trying to get free food by buttering me up, or by the slim chance you’re telling me the truth, you’re crazy.” You said waving your hand dismissively.
 
Epona knew it would have been a long shot, but she thought if anyone would believe her I would have been you. For the first time in her life, she had to prove she was a changeling, except she couldn’t. Changing back required magic.
 
Magic meant death.
 
“Here,” you said as you placed two black berry muffins and a vanilla shake before the down solemn mare. “I bet you don’t have a single bit to your name I’m guessing.” This wasn’t the first time you heard an off the wall story to get a hand out.
 
This one took the cake though.
 
“Thank you…” she said looking down at the sweets. She got no nutritional value from real food. Not to mention she had been feasting on your emotions since she walked into the room. She put her lips to the straw and slowly started to drink down the shake.
 
No matter what her feelings were, her gag reflex was fighting her every step of the way trying to get the putrid confections out of her system.
 
You sit down opposite the mare after deciding to go on your lunch break. Not like there were other customers anyway. As you swallow a mouthful of regular milk, Epona appears to the side of your periphery, leering into your sphere of vision like an alley cat popping up over a fence.
 
“So do you believe my story?”
 
You down large swallow of milk, trying not to cough at the absurd question.
 
“Which part, you being a bug in disguise, or the falling for me part.”
 
“There was the part about me dying. Let’s just forget that part, not like me living has any relevance,” Epona said, pushing the half empty shake aside.
 
You take a moment to have another sip of milk.
 
“Sorry, bit of a pill to swallow there. Just seems very convent is all. The moment I start herding, a bug queen risks her life to come to my side to tell me has fallen for me. Seriously, I would be put into a mental ward for believing it.”
 
She leans closer to the table, and to you, peering at you like you might suddenly open up like a secret cabinet and reveal the full extent of the secrets inside your devious human mind.
 
“Well it’s all true.” She said curtly.
 
For a bug, she was one hot looking bug.  You still didn’t believe her story however.
 
“So let’s say I bought your story. Random queen falls in love with me, sure why not.” Weirder stuff has happened before. “What do you want me to do?”
 
Epona had to think about that for a moment. What did she want you to do? There was little to no time for anything she wanted.
 
“I want you to be the prince for my fairy tale!”  the mare nearly shouted.
 
Yup, that made it official, this mare was creepy. At least you had to give her points for being blunt.
 
“Thanks, but I’m taken. I already have a princess I have to take care of and I already have to deal with her lies.”
 
“I am not lying!” The mare slammed her front hooves on the table. “I thought you would be more open to the idea, but no you just shut me out. ‘Oh that’s impossible, that could never happen.’  Then you call me a liar on top of it.”
 
Your mouth hung slightly agape, you were almost completely transfixed on the mare. The fuck is this? How am I the bad guy now?  The mare huffed as she turned and left the table, her long mane almost whipping you in the face.
 
“I’m leaving; you can go have fun with all your mares for all I care.”
 
That didn’t even make sense, but you weren’t going to argue it. Truth be told, you felt guilty. Hell if you knew why, but even you could give her the benefit of the doubt.
 
“Hey, bug girl.” You called out.
 
 She turned back to you with her wings flared.
 
“Do NOT ever call me bug girl!” she shouted with her nostrils slightly flared.
 
Yes, because “shapeshifting insect queen” sounds so much better.
 
“Right, sorry. Look, in any case I am flattered. The whole story just seemed a bit far-fetched,” A total lie to be precise, but you weren’t going down that road again. You point to the large sacs of bits behind the counter, “How about you help me take those to the bank and you tell me more about yourself?”
 
Epona stood there is disbelief, it wasn’t what she wanted but it was close enough to get her hoof in the door.
 
“You really believe me?”
 
“Yeah,” although saying that felt like a lie, “Now finish your muffins and I’ll close the shop.”
 
Twenty minutes pass as you prepare the shop for an early close. Taking in the large amount of money would have been an undertaking in of itself. Besides, a large haul was well worth having an early out.  Now as you prepped for close you listened to the mare's tale of woe.
 
It was a heart venture, to say the least. It would have been better if you could have understood most of it.
 
A princess made queen at the early age of only fourteen. Without the political knowledge she was supposed to obtain from her mother, she ran her kingdom right into the ground in only four years.  With her people starving to death, she made an assault on Canterlot for food but was repelled.
 
Within the span of a mere two years, her race had dwindled down to a small handful, now being the sole survivor sabot to find the feelings of true love  before she would cross over into the void.
 
You had to admit, for a story made up on the spot she was very well detailed. Almost to a freakish extent, she even went into detail about her home country and political struggles.
 
It sounds a lot like a failed dictatorship, from the way she described herself in the story, she made herself out to be the villain. Not the whiny, in your face mare in front of you. First impressions mean a lot to a person.
 
There was one thing that irritated you though; it was the inconsistency on to where you fit in. She said that it was love at first sight but she wouldn’t say where. She wouldn’t say no matter how hard you pressed.
 
It kind of felt you were just chosen at random, but it still felt nice. Crazy, but nice.
 
There was another tiny thing that worked its way into the back of your mind as well. When you were writing Cup Cake a note to tell her where you were going. She had had paper on the ready.
 
Part of you wondered if there was a paper conspiracy…
 
When you finally loaded all the profits into a nice enchanted green money bag, you had to wonder why Rich just didn’t give you one enchanted bag instead of eight large bags. It’s not like an enchanted bag was that expensive.
 
You ended up carrying the single bag, not because of the weight. It was the tiny fact that you pulled in a little over two thousand bits in a single day. You were not going to let a mare you just met carry the day's profits.
 
Above everything though, you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at that ass.
 
It was an ass that god bestowed upon mortals so that we may now what we are missing.  You could feel your hands twitching as you let her walk ahead of you down the street as she rattled off facts about her fantasy world. The only thing visible before you now was her bubble butt; her flanks looked like liked they needed a fresh pair of hands.
 
You felt like a peeping tom, taking in the full unobstructed view every moment you were able.
 
Her full, plump flanks drew even more attention than anything else about her right now. Surely it wasn’t possible for ponies to be endowed like this, but damn this was real. Her silver tail batted back and for unconsciously giving you a great view of her peach and plum.
 
Part of you wanted to go hunting and catch the wild posterior and stuff and mount it.
 
You knew full well though no matter what your intentions were. You could look, fantasize and even dream about it. Touching was not allowed and no amount of meandering could get you into those flanks without consequence.
 
“…that is why I chose the name Epona.”
 
You snap out of your anal indentured stupor as the round orbs of god stopped shaking before you.
 
“Yeah, that’s interesting…” you say mindlessly, you completely missed what she was talking about.
 
“You’re not mad? I thought you would be disgusted for at least a little shocked.” Epona said with a slightly raised brow. “It was a huge invasion of your privacy.”
 
You had no clue what she was talking about.
 
“It’s all good, don’t worry about it.” You say trying to give the most generic answer possible.
 
Epona beamed, “Wow, I was really afraid to tell you at first. I thought you might even hate me because of it.”
 
You wave you hand dismissively “Don’t worry about it…” You point to the small brick building at the end of the street, “That’s the bank…” you say, slightly nervous.
 
Epona stopped and looked at the end of the street.
 
“So, I guess this is it…” She said disappointed.
 
You roll your eyes as you take a few steps ahead of her, “Look, I’ll say that at least you made my day interesting. How about tomorrow you come by the shop, and I'll introduce you to some of my friends. I have a friend name Lyra that you remind me of.”
 
She looked up at you and tried her hardest to force down a smile. She didn’t like her smile, it wasn’t hers.
 
“I think I would like that… I would like to see the twins too.”
 
You didn’t remember mentioning the twins, but everyone in town knew of them.
 
“If you want, I will talk to Cup Cake and see if you we can get you into her card club. They are always looking for new players.”
 
“…We will see,” She didn’t even know if she could make it till Sunday.
 
You gave the mare a half hug; it took a lot of courage to confess. Albeit in a weird, off the wall way that made very little sense, but to each their own.  At least you would be able to see her tomorrow.
 
And her ass, you really wanted to see that again.
 

You were greeted by the cool, refreshing air conditioned walkway. It was a welcomed feeling, being able to dump a truckload of bits made it all the better.
 
The room was surprisingly vacant for a Tuesday evening. You could only see two beings in the building, yourself, and the stallion behind the counter. An acquaintance of yours, Mr. Flowers. A dirty red coated unicorn with the personality of a diva.
 
“Well I see they got you working the evening shift.” You say aloud as you make you way across the tacky maroon rug.
 
“Well hot damn, if it isn’t Mr. Frosty-pants coming to pay his best friend a visit,” The stallion cooed, shutting the issue of Ponypolitain he was reading.
 
“I see my new name has even reached your ears,” You say with a smirk.
 
“Baby, nothing goes on in this town that doesn’t reach my ears,” He shot a playful wink, “Speaking of which, a little birdy told me you shot gunned by Lyra. I hope you had your mouth closed.”
 
You had to give I’m credit; he was one of the most informed stallions in the entire town. He knew the personal details of everypony.
 
“I hate to say it, but no…”
 
Flowers shook his head, “Its ok, Honey Bunny, it happens to the best of us. I have to say though you look fabulous for being in such a… shitty predicament last night.”
 
You deadpanned, “I would like to make a deposit now.”
 
“Fine, fine if you don’t want to shoot the shit with you old pal its ok. I am not going to be anal about the subject. I just wanted to make your day a little less crappy is all.”
 
“You done?” you say with a smirk.
 
[…]
 
“You got pooped on. It’s not funny, but that’s all I had left. There are not enough puns for that situation,” He said as he put his front hooves on the counter, “So how much are we going to be depositing?”
 
You set the green bag on the counter.
 
“A little over two thousand, made a nice haul today.”
 
The stallion didn’t waste any time as he poured the content into a coin counter. He was suspicious of the actual number.
 
“Well, I’ll be! Two thousand fifty six. I think that is a record for your little shop but I don’t keep track of that.”
 
You nod.

Several moments pass as you wait for the stallion to give you a deposit slip for the record book. Alas, when the stallion came back, he was not wearing a smile with a slip floating around his head.
 
“I’m sorry but I can’t make your deposit, you name has been removed from the list.”
 
You sighed, “Just put it in Cup Cake’s name.”
 
“I already tried… neither your name nor hers is in the registry anymore. It might be a clerical mistake but I’ll need to talk to my boss and she won’t be in till tomorrow. I’m sorry.”
 
It was a minor irritation but this had happened before.
 
“Just put it into my personal savings.” You stated. Today was just getting longer and longer inside your mind. Now you wished you just gave the tiny filly a peck on the cheek then you could go crawl back into bed.
 
“Alright, Sugar-Plum, I put the entire amount in your personal savings. Will that be all?”
 
“Actually, no. I need directions to some music school around here. Gin-something-or-other.” You stated.
 
Mr. Flowers nodded, “I know the place, it’s called Gingersnap’s Music Hall. It’s about four blocks south of here, not hard to miss. My niece goes there; she is trying to become a pianist.”
 
“Yeah, I need to go there to pick up a filly for a play date,” You say with a long disgruntled moan, “I promised her yesterday I would to get myself out of a small jam.”
 
“Well if that just isn’t adorable. Who is the lucky filly?” the stallion cooed.
 
“Diamond Tiara.”
 
The smile he had was wiped of his face completely, leaving behind a scowl, “Oh, that little liar. You get in trouble and have to do some charity work or something?”
 
“Look she is not THAT bad,” you say in her defense, “Just going to give her a few pointers on the perks of dating a nice guy.”
 
“Boy how, do I wish I had a nice guy right now, my boyfriend Vincent is such a douche bag,” He sighed, “Look I guess you’re right, she still is growing up. Oh to be young and stupid.”
 
“Yeah. Well, I’m going to head out, you enjoy your day,” You say as you turned and left.
 
“I will, give Cup Cake my best. Oh, and say hi to Pinkie.”
 

The sun was starting to wane into the evening sky, the birds that once sang the praises of the sky now hurried back to their nests to be with their families.  Shops at the local farmer’s market where now packing their goods to go home.
 
You, however were standing in a crowd of mares talking amongst themselves. Each pointing out which filly was theirs. There was only one colt and you were pretty sure his parents were not here.
 
No one was claiming him and his god awful flute playing.
 
There was a small detail that Mr. Rich left out. Today wasn’t a practice, it was a recital. Each filly came on stage and performed a solo, and on every fourth performance the entire group would get on stage and try to come up with a new sound to make your ears bleed.
 
There was one filly though, who sounded pretty good. You assumed it was Mr. Flowers’ niece, because she was the only one who played the piano.
 
To top it all off, you finally realized why the name of this place had sounded so familiar. On the far end of the stage, helping with the lighting, was Lyra, and the main organizer of the event, Octavia. Doing the lighting above the stage was Vinyl.
 
You waved to her when you could and she waved back and then pointed to her flank. It was completely wrapped in bandages, and from what you could tell she was now walking with a limp. It may have been a trick of the light, but you liked the former option better, it stroked your ego.
 
Finally on the ballot was the filly of the hour. The tiny little rich girl who was now trying her best to stand on her hind legs to play, she looked out into the small crowd, and the smile grew on her face when she saw tall human in her favorite black hoodie.
 
She put the small violin in its proper place as she took a regal stance.
 
Then she traced the bow across the strings. It was music alright, the sound was soft and almost hypnotic, the rhythm and pitch were perfect.  Until the tempo of the music started to pick up and she started to fall behind.
 
At the end, she took her bow and everyone clapped. Well, you clapped, everyone else stood there, wondering if the song had actually ended or not.
 
You took a moment to clear your mind as the music faded and the group of fillies dispersed out amongst the crowd. Compliments were given out aplenty as you stood there waiting for the filly to come out from behind the curtain.
 
Finally after several minutes of waiting, Diamond finally made her way out.  Now you had to put yourself into the right mindset. Needed to make sure her night was perfect.
 
“Today sucks; let’s get out of here before somepony tries to talk to us.”
 
Off to a great start.
 
You hold open the door for the filly, and make your way out into the street. The deep scowl she had on her face made her look like a dog ready to bite the nearest thing that came by.
 
“So, Diamond,” you say slowing your pace to match hers, “what do you want to do? You have me all to yourself.”
 
“I want everypony to just leave me alone. I am sick of everypony right now, and all I want to do is go home and eat some ice cream,” The filly continued to trench forward.
 
“Oh? I thought you wanted to go on a date?” You say with a smirk, “If you don’t want to know I can just go home… and I had such a fun evening planned to.” you lied.

Her tail twitched just a little bit, almost minuscule in fact, “How about you tell me how your day was?”
 
Now we finally moved to a subject that interested her, herself.
 
“Daddy says I have to get braces…” She leans closer and closer with every word until her body was just inches away from yours, “Sometime next week I have to go in and get them.”
 
You really wanted to give her some grief about it, oh it was so tempting.
 
“Don’t worry, you being a princess I doubt you will be getting much grief about it. Besides fillies look cute with braces.”

That was the solid truth; on the right pony braces were actually very cute. Diamond’s eyes light up a small bit in astonishment.              
 
“Really… you think I would look cute with them?”
 
“Definitely, I bet there will be even a few colts in your class that will agree too.” You were already trying to pass the buck.
 
“I don’t care if the colts in my class like them. I only care if you like them,” Diamond said as she leaned and rubbed her muzzle against your leg.
 
You had to admit, it hit a tender spot.
 
You crack your fingers together as you finally prepared to give the little lying wonder the best date ever, completely and utterly filled with clichés.
 
She was thirteen; she didn’t need anything majorly special.
 
“Well, my dear little princess, what do you want to do first?”” you say in a butlerish tone of voice. “The sky's the limit… literally, neither of us can fly.”
 
Diamond froze for a moment and looked at you, “That joke was bad and you should feel bad for saying it.”
 
Well then…  
 
“Hey I thought you said you had this all planned out?” she said, leaning back and looking straight into your eyes.
 
Well, at least she was quick on the uptake; Rich was right, perfect for the business world.
 
“Actually,” The filly looked down the street. “I want to get something from there.”  You follow her line of sight to a very, very familiar building. One that you had shopped at almost on a daily basis.
 
“You have got to be kidding me.”
 

Diamond Tiara, despite her upbringing, business savvy, constant reminders of etiquette, was still a filly. A now rebellious filly what had finally got to go into the legendary joke shop that her father never let her go into?
 
To you, this was Pinkie Pie’s holy ground. It is the only shop in town where you had a tab. The way Diamond was looking at the keychains and knickknacks, was just going to get bigger.
 
You made your way to the front counter where there was a box to put your money in. After five, the store was completely run on the honor system. Something you thought was weird to say the least.
 
“So, you see anything you want?” you called out across the store. Several moments pass before you gain a response.
 
“What’s a blowjob?” Diamond shouts out back across the store.
 
You learned two things then, how fast a human body would really move and why Diamond Tiara wasn’t allowed to come into the store. There was an adult magazine rack in the far corner of the store.
 
You slammed shut the magazine before the little filly would be scarred for life.
 
“That is something you do not need to know about until you’re much older,” You say as you hastily made the adult rack a filly-friendly one.
 
“But the cover said ’Top ten ways to please your boyfriend’, I just thought I could make you happy,” Diamond Tiara said innocently.
 
You were not going anywhere NEAR that subject matter.  Yet there was an image that was now being tucked away in the back of your subconscious, now being safely chained away.
 
“So, did you find anything you want,” you say with a smile.
 
Diamond looked at the adult rack and sighed, she wanted to read what the other nine things were, but she knew full well that was impossible now.
 
“Actually can we do that…?” She pointed over to the other end of the shop. It was an old style photo booth. You and Pinkie had had your pictures taken several times before. One time even fooled around in it as the machine took pictures.
 
Yup, perfect place to take a filly.
 
You nod as you both make your way to the machine; thankfully this was a nice way for the filly to have a keepsake. When you both sat down, Diamond was already pressing though the bottom vigorously to try to find the background she wanted.
 
She stopped at the background with the hearts on the side and bottom of the screen. A bit cliched, but at least it was better than Pinkie’s favorite, the chainsaw murderer background.
 
You always wondered why that was an option.
 
The filly now stood on your lap, narrowly missing the royal jewels with her hooves. She tried to get the frame just right where her face would align perfectly.
 
“Do you have any chapstick?” Diamond asked looking up at your chin, “I ran out.”
 
“Nope, sorry,” You say as you start putting bits into the machine.
 
The filly sighed, “Just like a boyfriend no not bring protection. I guess I can wait till our second date for a kiss.”
 
You didn’t quite understand the meaning, but if you didn’t have chapstick meant you could avoid the whole act of kissing. Let the chapstick burn! Good thing you were already prepared for a rebuttal since that morning.
 
“A gentleman does not kiss on a first date.” Sometimes being a gentleman paid of right from the get-go.
 
“What date is the making-out stage?” she questioned.
 
“Sixth,” You said throwing out a random number. “Now let’s take the pictures.”
 
Diamond nodded as she smiled from ear to ear. She wanted to remember this moment with her boyfriend. She also wanted to remember her teeth while they were free from restraints.
 
Click-click-click
 

Clack
 
You put down your fork from the large salad that you had ordered, picking up a cloth napkin and gingerly wiping off the garlic crème sauce that was lightly plastered on your upper lip. Oh did it taste good.  Sadly, living amongst ponies meant you had to give up a few things. Like meat.
 
Once in a while, when the gryphon trade caravans came into town, they would have meat for sale. Now you had two pounds of pork tenderloin safely hidden away and at the very bottom of the freezer.
 
Your date for the evening ordered, cool-aid, a large plate of jalapeño poppers and cheesy sticks. Needless to say, you would have given your left leg to trade her, but everything she ordered was on the foal menu.
 
You had your pride, even if your meatless salad cost almost three times as much as everything she ordered.
 
Damn salad.
 
“So, Diamond, what do you want to do next?” You say, surprisingly you were actually very much enjoying your time with the little filly. She had a brilliant wit, when she wasn’t using it to put down others.
 
“I don’t know… I really have been thinking about something since last night, but I’m not sure about it,” You raise a brow curiously, this was the first time she had been so cryptic.
 
“Oh really? What is weighing on your mind so much? The only worries you should have now are your grades, colts and… video games?”
 
“Today is…” she sighed, “never mind. What do you want to do?”
 
Was she… being considerate?
 
That’s new... well it wasn’t dark enough yet for them but it was now or never.
 
“How about we set off some fireworks, I got some sparklers from the joke shop.”  You stated.
 
The filly didn’t look too interested in sparklers, but she nodded all the same. She didn’t look sad; she just looked like she’d rather be doing something else.
 
You pay the bill, making sure not to leave a tip. Yup, you were one of those people.
 
You both walked the street in silence, she never even looked up at you, she was just following your footsteps, like a dog on a leash. Every moment that passed was one that grew the space between you. She wasn’t having any fun anymore.
 
You both make an unspoken decision to light the sparklers off near the lakeside of Ponyville Lake. You didn’t mean to walk there, but you’re both just found yourself there after walking around aimlessly.
 
“I can’t believe you wanted to light off sparklers,” Diamond said as she sat down on a white bench near the water’s edge, “What are you a baby or something?”
 
“If I have to be a baby to have fun with sparklers, then you miss don’t know than first thing about fireworks,” You stated as you started to light off your own little firework.
 
Diamond huffed, “What kind of fun can you have with these cheap little things? If I asked my dad for fireworks we could have lit up the night sky.”
 
You nodded that was very true.
 
“You see Diamond,” you pause for a moment and start to doodle in the air with the small flame, “That could block out the night sky, for a date you don’t want others. You want...” you drew a heart around the filly’s head, “it to be with that special person.”
 
You drew her close to you and you put the sparkle in her hooves and clamped them shut so it would not fall.
 
“You will want to build special moments, just for you two to share.”
 
Diamond stared into the fire are the end of the small metal stick. It took her a moment to realize what you were saying, she looked passed the flame, and there was the face of her boyfriend looking back at her.
 
“It’s… not what you do, it’s who you do it with?” The filly questioned.
 
You nodded.
 
“Like for example, say there was a nice colt at school. He wanted to share his lunch with you, it’s the gesture of him asking and him wanting to spend time with you that is important.”
 
Diamond started to chop away into the air with the tiny flame. She drew her best attempt at your name. It was close but in response you drew her name in perfect cursive.
 
“Well, this may not be as lame as I originally thought,” She patted the seat next to her with her tail, “You going to stand there or you going to keep me warm?”
 
You started to light six fireworks and place them in-between all of your fingers. You start to claw the air with both of your hands leaving streaks of smoke in the air.
 
“Look, a bunny,” You say as you finish the first sketch.
 
Diamond deadpanned, “That looks like a stump.”
 
You shrugged, “Meh, to each his own.”
 
Almost an hour passes as you both play around with the sparklers.  The only casualties were the hairs on your arms and a few strains of Diamonds mane. She only cried a little. The sun was now safely tucked away beyond the horizon leaving you in the filly only to drift the streets by the light of the moon.
 
The night wind gave the filly a perfect excuse to whine for her favorite spot inside your hood. She said she was sensitive to the cold, but you knew better. She was lazy.
 
Only the soft crunch of you sneakers against the ground was heard as you and the filly made your way home.
 
“Hey…” Diamond said as she looked up at you from her vantage point in your hoodie.
 
“Hmm?” You say in response.
 
“You love me right?” Diamond questioned.
 
God dammit, almost home free. Stupid damn loaded questions.
 
“Think it’s a little soon for confessions? It had been… two days?” You said now taking a slower pace.
 
“I have to know now, it’s important,” Diamond said taking on an odd serious tone.
 
Damn awkward situations. There was no way out without hurting her feelings. You did love the little brat, like a friend. Like you loved Bon-bon, or Lyra.
 
Scratch Lyra.
 
“Yeah, I guess you could say I love you,” You said, mildly nervous. You really hoped no one was nearby to misunderstand the situation.
 
Diamond nodded, “I love you too,” She said in a way that sounded like she was finalizing a business transaction, “I now made my choice; I’m going to marry you.”

Oh, lucky me.
 
“Think you’re a little young to be thinking about that?” you say.
 
She shook her head, “Nope, just making sure to get you before anypony else. I can get married in three years.” Even in three years she would still be a filly in your mind, eighteen was the number ingrained in your system no matter what Equestrian law said.  “But I need you to take a left up here; there is somepony I want you to meet that is very special to me.”
 
“Oh…” now you were curious, the only ponies she had ever mentioned who were special to her were Silver Spoon and her Dad. Her house was to the right.
 
Now you were traveling the outskirts of Ponyville, in the direction of the Everfree, since you had come here, you avoided the place like the plague. Only three times have you ever been in there and all three were with the company of Pinkie and Zecora.
 
The filly guided you down some severely old streets that you were sure were long abandoned, farther up the road, where it turned off to the cottage district. Now you passed the far fringe near the edge of the Ponyville River.
 
“Are we almost there?” you questioned but still drudge on. “I am pretty sure no one lives out here.”
 
“No one does.” She said, “We’re here,” She said, pointing to the end of the bushes near an alcove.
 
“What do you mean—“you cut yourself off as you pass by the small shrubbery.  You were sure your heart stopped.
 
It was a graveyard.
 
It was like you were swallowed up by the world as the darkness around you started to creep into your peripherals.
 
“Today is my mom’s birthday,” Diamond said, “I want you to meet her.”
 
Oh shit…
 
You slowly walked down the beaten path, on each side of you stood graves of those who had passed onto the next life. Only the stars above guided you down the small trail that seemed to barely dodge the stone memorials.
 
This was a path you should not have been walking, but you were.
 
You could feel your palms beginning to sweat, you held the filly tight under your hood as she guided you down the path. The gravestones were simple, naturally.  There were huge amounts of rotting gravestones in an extremely vast area contained by gloomy, overpowering trees.
 
At the end of the path, however, was grave that was completely cleared of debris. The grass around the grave was freshly cut, and the marble gravestone seemed to shimmer in the night.
 
What caught your eye was neither the stone nor, the many flowers that were now resting on either side of the grave. It was a lantern that on top of the grave.
 
“In memory of Sapphire Moon,” You whispered as you approached the grave.  Diamond wormed her way out of your hood as she leapt to her mother’s burial stone.
 
“I want to introduce you to someone, mom,” Diamond said to the stone. She pointed to you, “This is my very special somepony. I kept my promise mom, this is the guy I want to marry.”
 
You could feel your heart pinching inside your chest. These words were not meant for your ears. This scene was not meant for you.
 
Yet, there you stood.
 
You kneel down and slowly, slowly sat down before the grave. Diamond sat next to you and leaned her head against your side.
 
“He may look weird mom, but he loves me,” Diamond said, she was smiling from ear to ear. To her, this was one of single best moments in her life.
 
You place your hand on the cold stone of the grave, letting your body heat warm the marble.
 
“Hi… Diamond’s mom, It’s a pleasure to meet you,” You said to the stone.
 
The word hung in the air like daggers, each ready to dig into your chest.
 
It may have been moments, or it may have been hours you both sat there talking to the thin air above her grave. Each second you felt like breaking down and crying. Each word Diamond said sounded like it came from a fantasy that only a filly could cook up.
 
Diamond went on about her day, telling her every event in detail. How hard she practiced on her violin to the subjects she was failing in school.
 
She didn’t lie a single time. It was a feat you thought impossible.
 
“…that’s when dad said I could leave. Guess what mom? After that he carried me all the way home in the rain,” Diamond concluded as she regaled her mother with every single moment in her life that involved you.
 
You sat there crossed legged on the soft dirt listening to each story being told with enthusiastic vigor. You just couldn’t imagine the world that Diamond was living in.
 
“C’mon Diamond, I think your mother might want a little rest,” You stated as you got up off the ground.
 
Diamond nodded, “Can we come visit her again? I know she wanted to know more about you.”
 
“I’m not that interesting, but sure. How about you and I should visit her at least once a month? Any more than that I think you might bore her to…” You force a cough, “Right… anyway, let’s get you home. I don’t want your dad worrying about his precious daughter.”
 
Diamond nodded, “Next time we bring sparklers.”
 
You place your hand the grave one final time and close your eyes to give a silent prayer. After the story that the filly had given her you wanted to leave behind something as well.
 
I don’t know if you can hear this or this is just some crazy idea. I just want to say thank you, your daughter is being well taken care of. I know it may not sound like much but I will promise you that I will find a way to make her happy. She is young, and very stupid at times, she bullies those around her and makes trouble for everyone.
 
Honest is the best policy.
 
However, one day she will grow beyond that, and that is a day that I look forward too. I promise I shall be by her side till those days when she can stand on her own two… four feet. I don’t know if it will be me standing there, but I will promise you one thing, she will be happy.
 
You break away from the stone; you both leave the graveyard as quietly as you came. You left the only thing you could, a promise.

If only you knew then that she was going to make sure you kept that promise.

Thank you.
 
You stop for a moment and look back to the grave, you were sure you heard it… The words were warm and welcoming, almost relieved. That didn't stop them from sending a chill down your spine.
 
 

Time was lost to you as you both made your way down the street.  Around the next corner was the final chapter for you and the filly for today.  Nothing more needed to be said, nothing more needed to be done.
 
However there was something left unsolved, as the filly bit down on your sock to get your attention.
 
“Hmm?” You say as you look down at the filly, “What’s up? We're almost home?”
 
“I want to give you something…”
 
You roll your eyes; it was more than obvious to what she wanted to give you. You might as well get this over with, you may be lucky and this will keep her satisfied for the next week.
 
You take a knee, to make yourself available, trying to get yourself down to her height.
 
“Close your eyes.” She said.
 
You shut your eyes and wait for the incoming peck, this felt more like something out of a schoolyard play. What you felt though wasn’t a pair of tiny lips pressing against your cheek or lips.
 
It was her tongue.
 
Diamond, within one slow motion licked you from the base of your cheek to your temple.   Leaving behind a thick sheen of drool that was now sliding down your face.
 
You could only kneel there frozen in place; you blink a few times trying to wonder what just transpired. You lean away from the filly she tried to repeat her action as she stuck her tongue out again.
 
“Hey, I’m not done yet!” Diamond whined.
 
You take your left hand and try to wipe away as much of the saliva you could.
 
“What in the world are you trying to do?” you say as you wipe the saliva off your hand.
 
Diamond pouted.
 
“The magazine said the proper way to give a blowjob was lick that base of the head to the top. I know I’m not good, but I can’t get better if I don’t practice.” Diamond said with her voice dripping with innocence.
 
Now you were happy that she had zero knowledge of the sensual side of a relationship, or this could have been a lot worse.
 
“Diamond that is something you do after you’re married,” You weren’t going to any more detail than that. You can let someone else explain the details of that subject.
 
Diamond huffed, “Fine…”
 
You rub the top of her mane, “Some things are worth waiting for, you’re still young, you don’t need to grow up so fast.”
 
“I know I’m young, you don’t need to keep reminding me!” The filly yelled back.
 
You seemed to have hit one of her buttons.
 
“I want you to take me seriously! I know I can’t do things…” The filly went crestfallen. “It’s not fair… by the time I can do anything about it, you will be gone.”
 
Maybe she did know a little sensual knowledge, thankfully not enough. Finally you decided to give in, what harm could one little peck cause?
 
“Well,” you say as you tussle her mane, causing her to let out a small purr, “how about this…” You brush back her mane just a little as you lean in close. “I promise that, no matter your age, I will always take you seriously.”
 
Right in the center of her forehead, just above her brow, you seal your promise with a kiss. For you, the kiss was but a peck,  barely one and a half seconds before you pulled away.
 
To the filly, that moment was locked in time. The image of her first kiss was now burned into the back of her mind. Her eyes seemed to twinkle even in the shadows.  The warm mirth of puppy love  was set aflame, the skin below her coat now started to take on a scarlet hue.
 
Her euphoric bliss faded almost as fast as it came when she remember a very important detail.
 
You were not wearing any chapstick.
 
There were no goodbyes, or hugs, or any weird banter at the end. Diamond just ran, fast, leaving you standing there next to a tall bush beside her house.
 
“What the hell just happened?” you said as you looked back to where Diamond ran off too. You could hear the security gate open and shut so you at least knew she was home safe.  “This just goes to show, women no matter the age, are just crazy.” You say to no one.
 
You stand and give your legs a stretch, today was already long, and now was going to get longer. Now you had to go meet a real princess. First, though, you had to stop by home and shower up, talk to Cup Cake, maybe even get your fill of the twins before you left.
 
Today was a really good day.
 

 
Today was not a good day.
 
The filly paced back and forth in her room. Her coat was matted with sweat, and tears now bordered her eyes. She wasn’t ready at all. It took several tries on the phone, but she was finally able to get ahold of her best friend, Silver Spoon.
 
“Sylvie…” Diamond said nearly in tears.
 
“What is it Diamond, you never call this late,” A slightly grumpy Silver Spoon stated.
 
“I’m pregnant.”