Midday slept, dreaming peaceful dreams of running and skipping through endless pleasant fields of green, under clear blue skies, feeling content and cheerful. It was so nauseatingly happy, she was glad to be woken up by the sound of rapid hoofsteps.
She opened her eyes, ignoring the screams of a body that was enjoying being at rest, and looked around the room. Twilight was walking towards the door, smiling broadly.
"What in the fiery pits of Tartarus are you beaming like a schoolfilly about?" she asked. Twilight turned the grin towards her.
"It's cider season" the librarian said, in the same fashion foals said 'snow'. For a second, Midday said nothing, her mind still not fully awake processing that statement.
"You're... excited about cider?" she asked. She'd woken up to hear about cider? She looked around for a clock. It was barely after half past seven in the morning. She let her head fall back on to the pillow.
"You aren't excited? Everypony in Ponyville qeues up for a chance to buy the finest vintage Apple family cider."
"Thanks for the slogan." Midday groaned, and rolled over, "'mma keep sleeping, thank you very much."
"Oh..." Twilight's ears drooped, and she walked towards the stairs. Midday tried to get back to sleep, unfortunately she was well-aware of Trixie, who was of course snoring, and muttering in her sleep.
'This has Long Day written all over it.' She sighed to herself.
*****
Eventually, Midday decided not to sit around waiting to go back to sleep, and wandered downstairs, to find neither Spike nor Twilight around. Trixie appeared when Midday was halfway through her breakfast, looking slightly confused.
"Morning."
Trixie's only response was a series of noises.
"How come you aren't excited about 'Cider Season' then, Trixiemoon?" The showmare stopped and fixed Midday with a full-force Glare.
"One: Do not ever, ever use that name again. Two: I hate cider. Trixie's preferred beverage is a bottle of bourbon." There was an odd, yet content sounding sigh from Trixie at that. "Brownest of the brown liquours... or failing that, beer. Or perhaps, if Trixie felt truly desperate, wine. But not cider." She shuddered.
"Never cider."
Midday stared at Trixie for a while, then went back to eating her breakfast.
"I was thinking of heading over to Sweet Apple Acres, seeing what's going on there. Apparently everypony in town drinks apple cider."
Trixie looked confused. "Everypony? As in, every adult pony in town all likes the same beverage?" She frowned as she calmly grinded some pepper into her bowl of oats. "That's just bizarre." she muttered.
"Well, I suppose there are any number of reasons why they go along with it. Maybe it really tastes that good." Midday sighed, suddenly feeling less hungry at the sight of pepper and oats.
*****
Midday walked out into the brisk winter air, and noted the total abscence of anypony in sight. It was actually more than a little bit unsettling. Regardless, she started walking towards the Apple family farm. On the way there, she walked through the farmer's market, noting most of the stalls were completely empty, save for one, belonging to an orange-maned mare who looked like she was loosing a battle to fall asleep. Curiosity compelled her to talk to the mare.
"Morning" she called out, which startled the mare into falling over.
"Sorry." Midday said sheepishly.
"No, no, don't be. I just wasn't expecting anypony to show up today." The mare smiled. Midday couldn't see her Cutie Mark, but by the variety of carrots lying in carefully (indeed, ludicrously so) arranged patterns, she could guess at the mare's occupation.
"I'm guessing you're a carrot farmer."
"A bit obvious, isn't it?" The mare sighed slightly. "Yes, I am a carrot farmer. Carrot Top, owner and manager and proprieter of Golden Harvest Farm, at your service. Provided you only require carrots. That's really all I can do" she said calmly.
"You seem to be the only pony left in town" Midday observed. Carrot Top rolled her eyes.
"Yes, it's those Apples. Can I tell you a secret?" She motioned for Midday to come closer. Midday leaned toward her.
"I don't like cider. Isn't that weird? A pony, in Ponyville, who doesn't obsess over cider?" She sighed.
"So, I'm sitting here, trying not to fall asleep. I even tried making little dioramas with my carrots but... there is only so much you can do with carrots after a while." She looked at Midday.
"You aren't interested in buying anything by any chance?" she said, with what sounded like mock-hope in her voice. Or more worrying, actual hope. Midday decided to be kind. The fact that her stomach was beginning to rumble helped.
"Yeah, I will..." Midday 'hummed' and 'haahed' thoughtfully at the vast array of carrots before her, and the sign right next to Carrot Top's head declaring each baby carrot to be one bit, each medium carrot three bits, and large carrots five.
"I think I shall try... a medium sized carrot" she said eventually. Carrot Top smiled, and lifted one up.
"That will be three bits, then." She smiled. Midday paused as it occured to her she had no money on her. Carrot Top's expression indicated she could tell.
"Ah." The royal blue mare said after a time. "Sorry."
Carrot Top looked at the mare, and then at the carrot.
"Tell you what, I'll let you have this one for free."
"Oh, no, I really couldn't."
"I insist." The orange-maned mare said, nudging the carrot toward her.
"No, it wouldn't be-"
"I insist." Carrot Top said. Midday considered her options and took the one offered, as well as the carrot.
"Very generous of you" she muttered.
"Well, I wasn't really expecting to make any money today, anyhow. I mean, aside from the slight boost I've gotten from business with the Cakes, I don't really make much anyhow." Carrot Top sighed.
"The Cakes?" Midday asked, in-between a mouthful of carrot.
"Yes." Carrot Top said, before pointing a hoof at the baskets of carrots on the front of the stall, "Could you kindly help me carry these, if it's not too much to ask?"
Midday focused her magic, lifting the boxes of carrots.
"Thanks." The farmer smiled, "You see, the Cakes occasionaly buy some of my produce. If I had to guess, it'd be for little Pound and Pumpkin. Or maybe they're trying to encourage Pinkie Pie to eat something that isn't glazed or sugary."
"Hope springs eternal." Midday laughed.
The two walked along the slight dirt path towards the farm-yard, noticing the tail-end of an incredibly long qeue. Midday stared, her expression one of concern and slight puzzlement.
"That's a really large queue" she observed.
"Everypony in Ponyville drinks Apple Family's finest cider." Carrot Top noted. "Musicians, teachers, librarians, the weather team, the mayor."
"And why is the queue so long?" Midday asked. "I mean, it must be really great stuff if ponies are willing to... is that a tent?" She asked, pointing to what was in fact a tent.
She stared at it for a moment. "Well, that's one way of beating the queues I suppose."
"How would you do it?" Carrot Top laughed as their path took them away from the cheerful looking queue.
"I'd stand and wait, myself. I'm from Canterlot. I know how to queue: stand perfectly still and don't look interested in anything. No chit-chat, no small talk, no nothing."
Carrot Top stared at her in bemusement.
"I'm an accountant. Or I was. I think by this point I've technically switched careers, in a manner of speaking." Midday said.
"My aunt lives in Canterlot." Carrot Top said, slowly, and awkwardly. "She's called Golden Harvest, but the farm came first." She frowned, "Well, I say 'lives'. It's where I've been getting letters from. She travels around a lot, you see. Bit of an adventurer. Apparently she even took part in the Seven Minute Buffalo War last year."
Midday's eyes went wide. "Seriously?"
"So she says. I don't know if she was telling the truth or not, but what she says about matches up with what everypony else who was there said."
Midday knew about the Seven Minute Buffalo War, when Chief Thunderhooves had been enraged by an unspecified (Though easily identifiable) pony singing an irritating (yet extremely catchy) song enough to declare war on the settlement of Appleoosa. In her time, it was regarded as one of the greatest diplomatic blunders of the modern age, right up with the time a Zebrican embassador had been greeted to Equestria with the unfortunate words 'Your wife is a hippo', due to a group of translators not doing their job properly.
"Those ponies must be waiting for hours." Midday mused, "Just for a drink. Surely that would hurt sales a bit, even if they are the only apple salesponies in a long distance."
"Well, nopony's stupid enough to go against the Apples. Even if they are a bit stubborn sometimes, their family is the reason the town was founded. And they're good folk, and good neighbours too, so no more bad-mouthing them."
Midday frowned, and felt the need to explain herself. "I'm not 'bad-mouthing' them. I'm just a bit uncertain about their business tactics. Seems like this would be prime picking for competition."
"What are you implying?" Carrot Top asked.
"Implying? Nothing. But I just hope Applejack can handle any competition that comes her way."
Carrot Top made a small noise, as the two walked along the dirt road leading past numerous apple trees.
"What?" Midday asked.
"I just... well, from the way you were going, I just..."
"You think I hate Applejack, or have some grudge against her?"
"Perhaps. A little."
Midday shook her head. "A minor misunderstanding on my part, all fixed up. I mean, I'm hardly her greatest fan, but we're starting over, trying to get to know each other."
The two then went silent, until their path took them to a small house in front of a large field, which was not filled with carrots.
"Well" Carrot Top smiled, "Thank you for helping me carry my supplies back, miss...?"
"Midday, Midday Eclipse. Gosh, that makes me sound like a spy or something doesn't it." She smiled as Carrot Top pointed to where she wanted the boxes of carrots stacked. "Mind you, I do look pretty fetching in a tux, and bow-tie." Carrot Top looked about.
"Do you hear that?" She asked.
Midday listened. In the quiet she heard a strange rumbling and rattling noise.
"Yeah..." She frowned. "What is that noise?"
"It's coming from outside."
The two ponies leaned out the door, and watched as an odd contraption rushed past. It looked like some strange mix of a furnace and a train, and a few other things, and Midday saw a glimps of two ponies sitting near the front of it, appalingly smug grins plastered on their faces.
"What in the world was that?" asked Carrot Top, as the machine hurtled towards Sweet Apple Acres.
"I think that's the competition arriving" Midday said ominously. She turned to Carrot Top.
"If you need any help at any point, just ask." She smiled, before walking out of the door and following the odd machine.
*****
Midday found a crowd of ponies gathered around the machine, and the two ponies she'd glimpsed sitting on it smiling at the crowd. On getting a closer look, Midday really wished she hadn't. Aside from their striped shirts, straw hats and the goofy facial hair one of them had, they were also... singing.
She looked at the crowd, ignoring the singing idiots, as she decided to dub them. The majority of ponies looked confused, or intrigued. She saw Rainbow Dash, who looked like she was about to burst into song herself. She walked around the crowd, hoping not to make eye-contact with anypony, and found Applejack glaring at them. After a few minutes of hearing their obnoxious singing, she decided to walk away. Far away.
'The other side of Ponyville away' She thought to herself.
"You got a deal!" She heard Apple Bloom cry out. She stopped dead, and swiveled around. The crowd seemed excited by this, and she saw the Apples gather into a huddle. She looked at the grins on 'Flim' and 'Flam' as they proclaimed themselves, and wondered if she wasn't actually just asleep. Flim and Flam? She had to stop herself asking what pony could possibly trust anypony going by that name, especially once she saw Rarity lying in a heap, apparently having been charmed off her hooves. She quickly made her way next to the Apples
"I just don' know, y'all." Applejack muttered, though being Applejack her voice was still easy enough to make out, "We've always made cider the same way."
Big McIntosh agreed on this, then seemed to notice Flim and Flam had managed to insert themselves into the huddle. She looked at the situation. The Apples were stubborn, and the two obvious shysters would clearly not have put on their little song and dance if they hadn't some means of ensuring the best situation for themselves, and would probably goad the Apples into dancing to their tune quick enough.
'Three can play this game' she muttered to herself.
"We'll sweeten the deal" The clean-shaven one smirked. "You supply the apples"
The facial-haired one (Flam, if she'd listened to their inane singing correctly) spoke "We'll supply the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000." Oh goodness, Midday thought to herself, these two sucked at naming things.
"Then we split those sweet sweet profits..." The brothers said as one, "Seventy five-twenty five"
"With you two getting the seventy-five, of course" Midday spoke up. Everypony turned to look at her.
"Is everypony takin' part in this conversation?" Applejack said to herself. The two brothers shared uneasy glances.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, you've caught us-" Flim smiled.
"-A bit off-hoof." Flam finished.
"I'm Midday Eclipse, consulting accountant." She tried to match their grin.
"Since when?" asked Apple Bloom.
"Since, Apple Bloom, none of your family are professional accountants. Don't worry" She said reassuringly, "My fees are extremely generous. Certainly more than the Fakeloo brothers here."
There was a horrified gasp from the two stallions.
"I resent the implication of your remark!" Flim said.
"We are travelling salesponies n-"
"I heard your song" Midday said, suppresing the urge to turn them into cabbages there and then. She wasn't even sure if she could turn ponies into cabbages, when she gave it a bit of thought. Then she went over what they said and smiled sweetly. "And you didn't refute it."
"That's because anypony with an eye can see we are mere salesmen, cogs in the machine of modern cider-selling industry."
"Now, hold up" Applejack demanded, "Who is gettin' the seventy-five percent?"
"Why, us, naturally."
"Nothing suspicious there at all" Midday deadpanned. The brothers exchanged glances.
"We'll throw in the magic to power the machine for free." Flam added.
Applejack looked thoughtful, followed by concerned.
"Cider sales keep Sweet Apple Acres afloat through the winter. We'd lose Sweet Apple Acres if we agreed to this."
"So, what'll it be?" Flim and Flam said, their smiles never wavering for a minute. Midday could guess they were prepared for this. The huddle was broken, and the Apple family stood together, squaring off against the brothers.
"No deal" Big McIntosh intoned.
"(I forgot you talked)" Midday said to herself, earning her a glare from Apple Bloom.
Flim and Flam's smiles didn't so much as flicker, but there was a subtle change to their eyes, a cruel glimmer appearing in it.
"Very well" Flim said, his voice dripping with as much feigned solemnity as possible, "If you refuse our generous offer to be partners, then we'll just have to be competitors." There were a number of shocked mutters from the crowd, and a look of cold fury flashed across Applejack's face.
"You wouldn't dare" Applejack declared.
"And why not?" Midday asked out loud, "You don't have exclusive rights to sell apples (or apple byproducts) in Ponyville, do you?" Applejack looked irritated.
"No, bu-"
"Then there's not really any reason we can stop them" Midday said loudly. Flim and Flam grinned further at that, and turned to the crowd.
"Don't you worry, everypony!" Flam smiled, "There will be plenty of cider for all of you!"
Before anypony could make any remark or comment on that, Flim chose to add "As soon as we drive Sweet Apple Acres out of business."
Midday heard the horrified gasps of the Apple Family, and prepared to catch any of the farmers trying to beat Flim and Flam into the ground. Instead the two stallions were allowed to waltz off laughing all the while. Midday could feel the glare on the back of her neck. She turned to see an incensed Applejack looking at her.
"That was easy." She said, and then raised a hoof before Applejack could retort, "I honestly didn't think they were that stupid."
Applejack opened her mouth, and apparently couldn't think of what to say, so she closed it again. She opened it, and closed it. Finally she managed to get out a simple "What?"
"Oh, come on, Applejack, they're con-men. They travel around Equestria looking for easy targets to exploit. They'll come back soon enough and 'convince' you into some variety of exchange that will ultimately benefit only them."
"How can you be sure?" said Twilight from behind her. She frowned.
"Perhaps it was because they called themselves 'Flim' and 'Flam'. Flam and Flam? Come on, that's a freaking clue train pulled up right to the station. They just said they want to drive you out of business. They wouldn't have done any of that if they weren't confident in their ability to accomplish their own ends."
"What?" Applejack said again.
"They'll probably show up again tomorrow and challenge you to a contest for the ownership of Sweet Apple Acres, probably hedging on your inability to walk away from a challenge."
"What?!" Applejack looked incensed.
"Well, you did vow to not return to Ponyville just because you failed to win a rodeo. And there was this thing I heard about you going without sleep. Something about apple bucking?" Applejack looked embarrased about that, pulling her hat over her eyes.
"So... what are you saying we should do?" Apple Bloom asked. Midday smirked.
"You give them exactly what they want." She smiled. Then her smiled was replaced by a more serious expression.
"But there are some... rules we have to follow."
*****
The next morning, the line formed in front of the Apple family's stall. Midday stood next to the stand, looking at the assembled line of ponies. She looked over to an uncertain looking Applejack, and nodded. The mare walked over to the megaphone she had set up.
"Attention, everypony" She declared, "Due to events beyond our control, we can only give each pony one serving of cider this year." The assembled ponies looked confused and just a bit irritated. Midday looked down at Apple Bloom.
"Are you sure about this?" the filly said quietly. Midday considered the question.
"No" she said, eventually.
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Pinkie Pie squealed from somewhere in the line. Midday glowered in her direction. From the way the ponies seemed to nervously shuffled out of the way, Midday presumed she looked really furious. It helped that Applejack had reluctantly informed her that Pinkie had bought several flagons of the stuff yesterday.
"Pinkie, get out of the line" Midday said, her voice eerily calm and polite.
"Yeah" Applejack said into the megaphone, "Anypony who bought cider yesterday, please allow ponies who haven't made their purchase yet have a chance."
There were several annoyed mutters as ponies peeled off from the line, Pinkie slouching as she went.
"Ah really ain't sure about this" Applejack muttered.
"Wait for it." Midday said, calmly. After a while, the line came to Rainbow Dash, who gave a positivily jubilant 'Yes!' as she floated over to the stand. Apple Bloom nudged the nozzle, the machine made its usual noise... and there was the tiniest drip. Rainbow Dash stared in horror at the nigh-empty flagon in front of her. She looked like she was about to cry.
"Is this some kind of cruel joke?" she whimpered. Then Midday, and everypony else, heard the rattling and thundering of Flim and Flam's device roaring into view. It smashed into the fence opposite the stall, and the brothers hopped down from their ride.
"What seems to be the problem here?" Flim grinned. Flam tutted.
"Oh my oh my, out of cider again?" Flim's grin grew as he held aloft an empty flagon.
"Who'd like a cup?" He said, enticingly. There were several cries of excitement. Flam made a slight chuckle.
"Don't worry, everypony, we've got the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to make more in an instant!"
Flim moved a hoof towards a barrel resting on the machine, but before he could reach it, a lasso wrapped around it and yanked it clean through the air. It landed right next to Applejack, who proceeded to rest a hoof on it.
"You can't sell that cider! That's made from Apple family apples!"
There were a few murmurs from the crowd, but Flim just smiled that annoying smile again.
"Don't worry, everypony, there's plenty of apples in Equestria. We'll find some others and make some more cider than all of Ponyville can drink!" There were astonished gasps at that.
It was Apple Bloom's time to shine, and the filly didn't disappoint.
"We'll make more cider than you can imagine!" she bellowed. The crowd gasped at that as well. Midday briefly wondered if Ponyville had a gasp quota of some kind, with all the gasping going on, or whether somepony would strain themselves over-gasping. Granny Smith walked over to Apple Bloom.
"Now, it ain't about the speed, young'un, it's about quality" she said sagely. There were annoyed sighs from the crowd. Midday heard Rainbow Dash whining something about not getting any cider at all.
Flim looked sorrowful. "Look at all these poor, dissatisfied ponies" he said.
"Ponyville is Sweet Cider country!" Apple Bloom snapped.
"Our cider speaks for itself!" Applejack declared. Matching smug grins spread across the stallions' faces like no tomorrow.
'Perfection' Midday thought to herself, 'Keep going, see what you're in for'. She tried not to grin herself.
"Let's put it to the test" Flim said. Apple Bloom walked over to him.
"Anytime, anywhere." There were mutters from the crowd. Midday did her best to look concerned.
"Well, that's enough now" Granny Smith declared, trying to move her granddaughter away from the con-ponies. Flim seemed to think he had an opening, and spoke up.
"With our machine" he said, giving it a slight pat, "We can make enough cider in one hour to satisfy this entire town."
Apple Bloom stopped struggling against her grandmother and a sly grin overcame her face.
"We can do it in fourty-five minutes" she said, calmly, while pretending to examine her hooves. There was no small amoun of amazed mutters from the crowd. Granny Smith looked alarmed.
"Easy, Apple Bloom." She said. Then Flim and Flam stepped in the proverbial 'it'.
"What's the matter, old lady? Are you chicken?" Granny Smith looked like she'd been struck by lighting. She slowly turned to look at the brothers, and Midday noticed everypony in the crowd taking a step back. When Granny Smith spoke, it was with all the cold fury the Apple family matriach could muster, and Midday was certain she felt the already chilly temperature drop slightly.
"... What. Did you call me, sonny?" She practically hissed each word. Flim just ignored the death-glare, cementing him in Midday's eyes as a suicidal oaf.
"If you're so confident in your cider, what's the problem?" Granny Smith stared at him like he was something from the rear end of a dog.
"Tomorrow mornin'" She spat, "Right here!"
Flam made a look of mock-concern. "But I'm afraid we don't have any... apples" he said, smiling that awful smug smile on the last word.
"Y' can use our south field, and it'd be worth it to teach y'all a thing or two about cider making!"
"But, Granny-!" Applejack said, cutting off when the old mare whipped around to look at her.
Lying was not one of Applejack's fortes, but apparently, acting in defense of one's home, family and business was a different matter. And most of what they were saying wasn't acting. She'd just gently told them what not to do, and so far, they were doing good. Midday then found herself remembering that she still hadn't learnt of Applejack's origins.
"Excellent." Flam announced, sticking out a hoof, "We have a bet. Whoever produces the most barrels in one hour wins the exclusive rights to sell all cider in Ponyville."
Granny Smith extended a hoof of her own. "And after we beat ya, ah don't never want to see you two bimboozlers around here again!" And at that, the elderly mare walked back to her family. Midday watched as the family walked on back to their farm, and looked at Flim and Flam. The two stallions quickly walked over to her.
"How much?" The facial-haired one asked. She raised an eyebrow.
"How much... what?" she asked innocently.
Flam sighed. "So it's like that, is it." He looked at Midday.
"We know you're helping the Apples, we know you've got a plan. How much would it cost to get you to stop?"
Midday entertained the thought, and smiled slightly.
"More than you could ever afford" she said.
"You sure you want to do this?" Flim asked.
"You're a small fish in a big pond, after all." Flam said, his voice cheery, but the undercurrent of menace present. Midday turned to look at him.
"I wouldn't worry about me if I were you." And with that she walked away, and the two didn't try to stop her.
*****
"So, why did you ask us here?" Asked Rarity. Midday looked at the faces before her. Twilight, Spike, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Trixie, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were all sitting in a circle around her. Rainbow Dash had been unwilling to show up, until Midday had pointed out everypony else was going, and it was part of a plan to help Applejack, who the speedster had pointed out wasn't there.
"Because, Rarity, we're going to help Applejack."
Fluttershy raised a hoof.
"If we do, isn't that cheating?" she asked. Midday smiled at that, and noticed the look of unease of Spike's face.
"Actually, no, it isn't." She paused, "Actually, it is a bit, but it's okay because Fakey and Phoney are cheating anyway."
"They are?" Pinkie asked, with all the horror she could muster.
Midday rolled her eyes. "Well, they are conponies. Like I told Applejack, they deliberately targeted the Apples. They knew all the right keys to hit: The crowd, the desperate, the thirsty, the easily swayed and convinced, those who don't have as much personal connection to the Apples and would regard the family's problems as being somepony else's."
"I was wondering why they started off with a song" Pinkie said. Everypony turned to stare at the mare who though the best way to introduce herself was a full musical parade, followed by partying. "What?"
"And they're clearly experts. Which makes sense given that scamming is written all over their Cutie Marks."
"But surely if we cheat then we're no better than them" Twilight said.
"Well, our cheating isn't really 'cheating'. I mean, they never said Applejack couldn't recieve help from her friends, nor was this contest actually approved by the actual owner of Sweet Apple Acres."
"Yeah it was" Rainbow Dash cut in, "Granny Smith shook and it and everything. Why are you smiling like that?" She asked when Midday's smile didn't stop.
"Technically, the Apples don't own the land. Or, at least, not entirely. Princess Celestia lended the land to them."
There was a moment's silence.
"Have you always been this devious?" Rarity asked, "And if so, how have we not noticed?"
"So I sent a letter to the Princess, explaining the Apple's problem."
"And?" asked Twilight, who was frowning at Spike.
"Legally speaking, Flim and Flam's acts are in fact a criminal offense. Forcing a family to surrender their own property through coercion and all that."
"You don't want them foiled" Trixie said quietly, "You want them completely out of the picture." She took her hat off.
"That seems a bit... extreme" Twilight frowned.
"Not so. These two go from town to town, conning ponies wherever they can. Their entire life is dedicated to taking and stealing from others, and by the looks of it, I'd wager they do it for fun. For the thrill of the game" Midday said, her voice quietly filled with disgust. That seemed to be shared by everypony else in the room.
"I thought you didn't like Applejack" Rainbow Dash said. Midday buried her face in her hooves.
"I swear to me, I'm going to go put a sign up in every public place telling everypony in no uncertain terms that Applejack and I no longer have any quarrel. Besides, there's also Apple Bloom and Big Mac, and Granny Smith. How could I turn my back on them?" There was a slight pause.
"So... what do we do?" Asked Twilight.
"You guys are going to offer to help the Apples. Flim and Flam are so overconfident they won't even care whether anypony helps the Apples, and even if they do, it won't matter." There was a moment of silence.
"That's all" she said.
"Really? I thought you were gonna do something like spike their machine using the mysterious liquid Twilight keeps in the basement, then wait for them to get run out of town by everypony when they realise the two have stolen the Mo-" Rainbow Dash jammed a hoof in Pinkie's mouth. Panic was all over the pegasus's face.
"SHUT UP!" she yelled. This didn't stop Pinkie from going on. Midday looked at everypony else. Nopony choose to explain what Pinkie had been about to say, and she had the feeling they weren't going to.
"That's an idea." Midday said, calmly, "But mine doesn't involve using whatever-that-is-down-there." She had to admit, she was beginning to wish that was her plan.
"So, once Flim and Flam have been defeated, what then?" asked Fluttershy.
"The Royal Guard will arrest them." She smiled.
"Okay..." Twilight said, "This could work." She smiled. Spike rushed to turn the lights on, causing Rarity and Fluttershy to wince slightly, while Rainbow Dash rubbed her hoof off.
"Trixie" Midday said, suddenly, "I'm going to need your help."
*****
Flim and Flam relaxed in the cool night sky, enjoying a hearty drink of cheap warm wine.
"Ah, brother-of-mine, we have accomplished something here." Flam smiled.
"Sure have. I can't believe they fell for that. I mean" Flim looked, "This town must be stupider than it looks. They actually let those idiot farmers challenge us? Do they actually think they've got a chance against Baby here?" He said, tapping his hoof against the SSCD6000.
"I tell ya, getting her was the best job we ever pulled. And once we've got that farm... we'll be rich." Flim paused, and considered something.
"What should we name it? The farm?"
"How about... 'Flim Flam Fields'?"
Flim chuckled, "I like it! No, I love it!"
"Flim Flam Fields it is then." The older brother raised his glass. "To tomorrow, and all its bounties!"
"Tomorrow." They drank, and suddenly there was a whistling noise.
"Boys" a voice cried out. They leaned over the edge of the machine to see a sky-blue mare wearing a purple hat looking up at them.
"I don't suppose you two fine, upstanding gentlemen could help a fellow traveller, could you?"
"Sorry." Flim said, "We don't have any money, right now. Spent it all on Baby here."
Flam gave his brother a sharp nudge.
"By which I mean I would be delighted to help you, in any way I-WE can." He smiled, thoughts racing through his head.
"Why don't you come down here, then?" the mare said, smiling slightly. The two brothers practically tripped over each other rushing down to her.
"Now then, I only need a moment of your time. You see, I'm working on a trick for my newest show, and I need to test it on the smartest ponies to make sure it works."
"What's in it for us?" Flam said, trying not to sound desperate. The mare stared at him impassively.
"I wouldn't get your hopes up" she said bluntly.
Above them, a shadowy figure moved onto the SSCS6000, and opened a small hatch as silently as it could. Inside were contained a variety of letters and objects. The cloaked figure placed inside a letter. It quickly closed the hatch, and moved to within sight of Trixie, and gave the signal, before disappearing into the night.
"You know what?" Trixie said, "I suppose it doesn't matter. I'll let you two get back to your... wine." She said with a touch of mockery in the last word, turning around and walking back towards the library. She stopped and turned to look at the two again, opened her mouth and appeared to think better of it.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie isn't anywhere near that desperate" she muttered, before walking away.
"What was that all about?" Flim asked. His brother sighed.
"That, oh brother-of-mine, is called a 'woman'."
"Shut up!"
"Then don't ask stupid questions. Now come on, we've got to get some sleep, and wake up bright and early for tomorrow."
*****
Trixie closed the library door, and found Midday calmly reading a book on ancient mythology.
"Well?" the mare asked.
"Trixie player her part, as you asked. What did you think?"
Midday Eclipse shrugged. "I'm not an acting critic."
Trixie stared icily at her. "I hope this mad plan of yours works. Trixie is fairly certain those two idiots want to get on the Ponyville property market."
Midday just smiled as Trixie walked past her towards the kitchen for a pre-bed snack. Tomorrow, she told herself, was going to prove interesting.
*****
Sunlight washed over Ponyville, the grace of Princess Celestia herself, and the Apples, as always, were the first to rise. Even with their farm in the balance, they still had chores to do. And so, while Applejack was working, there was a polite cough behind her. She turned to see an unlikely pony standing there.
"Carrot Top? What brings you 'round here?" Applejack asked in confusion. The mare just smiled gently.
"I wondered if you might need any help" the carrot farmer said kindly.
Applejack shook her head. Her friends had probably been going around asking for help. She made a note to thank them for the thought, even if she didn't feel she need it.
"Hiya Carrot Top" Apple Bloom said, shocking Applejack. "What'cha doing around here?"
"Just thought I'd be neighbourly, help out, and such." Applejack opened her mouth to object to this, when she heard Granny Smith speak up.
"Well, that's real nice of ya to say. It's been a long while since you visisted, ah must say." The pale orange mare looked a bit embarrassed.
"Actually, miss Sm-"
"Granny." The elderly mare said, in the sort of tone that left no room for argument.
"Granny Smith, I'm fairly certain I've never visited."
"Then it's about time ya started." The Apple matriach smiled warmly, "Better late than never"
Applejack watched as Granny Smith led their neighbour away, and sighed. She could practically feel her big brother's eyes on her.
"Was that your idea, big brother?" she sighed.
"Eyup. Thought you had enough to worry about."
She took a deep breath. She remembered the last few times she'd bitten off more than she could chew. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually talked with Carrot Top. The mare kept to her own farm and Applejack kept to hers.
'Except that isn't true' She told herself, 'You just don't make the effort. And she won't be the only friend showing up to help out.' Applejack frowned. And then she smiled.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome" the stallion said. As he walked off, Applejack tried to recall who Carrot Top was friends with, and how many favours her overly-generous neighbour probably owed.
"'Opportunity to this community' mah left flank." She grinned. Suddenly all her concerns melted away, and she felt like she could take on a full-grown dragon all by herself. Then she got back to work.
*****
Twilight, Trixie, Spike and Midday slowly assembled with everypony else at the Apple Family farm. Midday couldn't help but notice a lot of familiar faces were already there, looking somewhat worn out. Applejack, when Midday saw her, looked like she hadn't gotten the right amount of sleep. A megaphone was set up in front of a large timer, with a familiar bow-tie wearing stallion standing around by it trying to look nonchalant. The mayor walked up to the megaphone.
"Everypony, could I have your attention?" She waited until the already somewhat hushed crowd was silent, then continued, "Very good. The teams will have one hour to produce as much cider as they can, after which the barrels will be counted, and the winner will be named the sole cider provided of all Ponyville."
There were some dark mutterings from the crowd. Evidently the ponies in this crowd were not the ones from yesterday.
The Apples and the brothers quickly set off. Cheers for the Apples very quickly ceased at the sight of how quickly the large machine produced barrels of cider.
"Time for plan A?" asked Spike.
"That would assume that I could only make twenty-six plans, and that we need more than one." Midday noted. "But yes, time for the Plan."
Twilight walked up to the mayor.
"Miss Mayor, are honorary family members allowed to help in the competition?" The mayor looked uncertain.
"Well, I'm not sure..." she said, before looking to Flim and Flam, "Flim, Flame, are you okay with honorary family members helping?"
The two stallions, who were sitting on the little sofa on the front of the machine laughed. Midday had to fight the urge to summon lighting on them right then and there.
"Are you kidding?" Flam said,
"We don't care if the whole kingdom of Canterlot helps. It's a lost cause." Flam scoffed.
The mayor hummed. "I guess it's okay. Applejack? what do you think?"
The farmer looked up, a determined look on her face.
"Ah think ah'd love to have the rest of my family helpin' out."
There were cheers, as the girls rushed over to the Apples. They lined up, guard-style, with Twilight and Midday walking amongst them.
"Alright, you all know the stakes and the players" Midday said, before she stepped aside "So listen to Twilight."
"Thanks, Midday." The royal blue mare wondered if she wasn't actually dreaming all of a sudden.
"Okay everypony, we're not gonna let these smooth talkers take our friend's farm!" Midday wondered if Twilight was trying to channel Shining Armor as she was speaking.
"Yeah!" everypony said.
"Fluttershy, help Applejack with the trees." Fluttershy nodded, and gently hopped away.
"Pinkie Pie, Trixie, you're on apple-catching detail."
Pinkie saluted. "Yes sir, ma'am, sir!"
"On it." The showmare nodded.
"Rarity, Spike, you've got discerning eyes. Help Granny Smith at the quality control station."
"Of course" Rarity said.
"Be glad to" Spike added, his face set with determination.
"Rainbow Dash, do you think you can help Big McIntosh press?"
"In my sleep!" The brash speedster smiled.
"Alright, everypony, let's keep Sweet Apple Acres for the Apples!"
"All right!"
Twilight turned to Midday.
"This leaves us with the tasking. Is your magic good enough for that?"
"Just try and stop me from helping." Midday smiled, remembering the last time she'd acted like this, which had been when learning combat techniques from Shining Armor.
As they worked, Twilight noted they were helping the Apples produce the cider at five and a half times the normal rate.
"Less calculating, more levitating" Midday said.
She briefly looked over to the brothers, noticing the somewhat panicked looks on their faces. Then she heard some harsh grinding and groaning from their infernal machine.
"Well done, Flam!" Flim cheered to the crowd, "We're at full productivity!"
Rainbow Dash was beginning to slow, casting glances at the basket.
"We don't have time for quality control if we wanna win this thing!" she yelled, as Granny Smith tried to drive her back.
"Stay the course" Midday yelled.
"There's no point winnin' this thing if we cheat" Applejack declared. She looked over to Twilight, who looked to Midday, who nodded.
"We'll just have to work harder" Twilight and Midday said.
Soon, the mayor announced that the time was up, and everypony allowed themselves to collapse. The mayor and the Doctor began to count the barrels.
"I'm proud of you, Applejack." Twilight breathed. The mare just nodded.
"Integrity like that will always be... rewarded." Midday said nothing. Though she could see the look of anguish on the mayor's face as she started counting the amount of barrels the brothers had produced, and she could tell, instantly she could tell it wasn't enough.
"Flim and Flam win!" The mayor announced, solemnly. There were shocked gasps from the crowd, and Midday saw Carrot Top moving over towards Applejack, who just slumped onto the mare. She didn't look sad, or angry, just... defeated, empty. It was a horrible look for the mare, one Midday prayed desperately never to see again.
"D'aww." Flim said, cruelly, "Too bad, Apples." Flam laughed.
"Guess you'll just have to find a new line of work that doesn't match your name so perfectly."
Flim looked towards the farmhouses, a naked look of greed in his eyes.
"Now should we tear down these tacky old buildings and put up new ones, brother?"
Flam shrugged. "I don't see why not, brother-of-mine. After all, this isn't Sweet Apple Acres any more." He hummed. "How about... 'Flim Flam Fields'?"
There was a noise of disgust from Carrot Top. Rainbow Dash flew towards them.
"I oughta press you into jerk cider!" she yelled. There was a weary sigh from Applejack.
"No Rainbow Dash. A deal's a deal." Midday felt slightly guilty, and knew Rainbow Dash was floating towards her. She knew in her time that Sweet Apple Acres belonged to the Apples, she knew it. She'd met Lil' MacIntosh, who had been born on the farm. She began to fear that her prescence had caused this, and wondered how badly it was going to spiral out of control. Then she reminded herself of something. Flim and Flam were weasels. They'd thrown everything they had into conning one family out of a farm. If they were geniuses they'd have sold the device to the first pony they met, rather than hauling it around the countryside. They had nothing, whereas Applejack had her friends, and her family to support her. She had, cliche as it was to even think, friendship on her side. Ponyville had wanted Applejack to win, Ponyville preferred Applejack. She smiled slightly. The two idiots nonpareil hadn't won. Not yet, not ever.
"What gives?" Rainbow Dash fumed. "You said we'd win!" she hissed. Midday looked at her and smirked.
"Watch." She said.
The two brothers opened up the barrels and began pouring out their product.
"Fear not, everypony" Flim cheered, "There's more than enough cider to go around." He sneered, and the two began to laugh again. Midday looked at their cider, and smirked. Rainbow Dash frowned at her, and she nodded towards the beverages. Rainbow Dash stared for a second, then smirked, and walked over to Applejack.
There was the slightly satisfying sound of ponies retching and spitting.
"I can't get the taste off my tongue!" cried a pony she quickly recongised as Cherry Berry.
"Mine's got rocks in it!" Bon-Bon wailed.
"I wouldn't pay one cent for this dreck!" yelled a stallion she didn't recognise. The rising nervous look on Flim and Flam's face gave Midday a warm fuzzy feeling.
"You wouldn't even pay one cent?" Flam smiled.
"No!" The crowd yelled. The two brothers started whispering to each other.
"How about two cups for one cent?" Flim offered.
"No!"
"Two bits for one barrel?" The pair said, barely able to say it.
"NO!"
The two brothers exchanged looks, then looked at the approaching mob.
"It looks like we've encountered a slight... problem here in Ponyville" Flam said, as they crept backwards.
"Nopony wants out product" Flim whimpered. They exchanged looks.
"Next town?"
"Next town. Let's go Flim."
"Let's go, Flam." The two did a mock-bow, before galloping full-pelt to their machine, and driving it into the distance. Midday smirked slightly.
"They're gone." Applejack sighed.
"An' stay out!" Apple Bloom yelled to the retreating figures, before smiling with satisfaction.
Midday turned to see Twilight beaming. "That means Sweet Apple Acres is still in business!"
A stallion Midday didn't recognise walked up to the barrels.
"Plus we can have high quality apple family cider!" he cheered.
"Because of this silly competition" Apple Bloom said slowly, "We have enough cider for the whole town!"
There was a massive roar of cheers, followed seconds later by Pinkie somehow starting up party music.
*****
The seven ponies clinked their glasses together. Midday hadn't really wanted any, but since somepony had used the dreaded 'P-word' on her, she gave in.
"Hope that's the last we see of those guys" Applejack said.
There were a few seconds were nopony said anything, but all eyes slowly turned to Midday.
"What?" she asked.
"You said the Royal Guard would deal with them." Rarity frowned.
"Yes."
"And?" Twilight asked. Midday smirked.
"Don't you worry your heads about Flim and Flam. I don't think we'll be seeing them again for a long, long time."
*****
"So, what are we going to do, brother? That was a disaster, a lemon! We don't have enough money to make it to the next town!" Flim said, chewing the brim of his hat. His brother gave him a gentle whack on the head.
"Calm down. Remember when we were young? We've been in worse situations before and we've managed. All we need is time, time to manage our next move, and we'll get back at those fools. They will rue the day they-"
"FREEZE!" A voice boomed. Instinctively the two stallions cowered at the sight of a gold-clad stallion. At first the two began plans to smooth-talk the officer of the Royal Guard, then there was noise. More armored unicorns leapt from the bushes, and there was a rustling overhead of pegasi.
"Officer..." Flam said calmly, "There's been a terrible-" He didn't finish, as he was pulled to the ground by magic.
"This it?" A rough voice said.
"Sure is. Matches the description the boys from Manehattan gave us." A large, dark, unfriendly-looking guard leaned in front of them.
"Do you two know how much trouble you're in? Cuz it's a lot." He smirked. There was a noise from the machine.
"Sir, found a hatch." Somepony shouted. There was a pause, followed by an appreciative whistle, followed by a small noise of confusion. "Found a letter in here, adressed to these two from the looks of it.". The guard motioned for it to be brought over. His horn glowed, and as he read the letter he looked first confused, and then amused, in a way that made the brothers' hearts sink. He showed to them.
It read:
"Be careful what you fish for."
Followed by a crude drawing of a grinning fish eating a fisherman wearing a familiar looking shirt and hat.
"Boys, you're in a whole mess of trouble." The unicorn grinned, before nodding. The two ponies were suddenly lifted, and carried away.