//------------------------------// // Just Let Me Escape // Story: Replacing Scootaloo // by I am not a Dalek //------------------------------// Chapter 7- Just Let Me Escape Do I really need to be here? A question which crosses my mind every waking hour of my life. I have considered just ending it so many times before, however, I feel that I deserve to suffer first. I am really just a stupid foal who does not need to be here, I am constantly in my the way of my family and friends and I know that they all think they’d be better off without me. To be honest, if I died right now no pony would notice, no pony would care. I stand up and slowly walk towards the mirror, my purple mane is in a mess, and my eyes are red and puffy. I have tears running down my cheeks still and my face is still tinted pink from all the crying. As I turn away from the mirror, I buck it and listen to it shatter into a million pieces. A shard of glass cuts my front-leg but I do not care, I only feel a slight sting then the warmness of blood rushing down to the floor. I open my bedroom door and limp down the stairs quietly; my family are all in the living room talking so I slip out the door without them noticing me, not that they would anyway. Celestia’s sun is just about to set and the clouds are turning a beautiful shade of pink. This type of evening is always my favourite; I sometimes sit outside and watch the clouds until the sky turns dark. I continue to limp through the town, no pony seems to notice that I’m bleeding and I’m happy they don’t. They shouldn’t get involved, their lives will be ruined once they get involved with me. I don’t know where I’m going; it doesn’t really matter though, as long as I get away from here. I look down at my leg to see that the bleeding has stopped, surprisingly I feel slightly disappointed that It’s stopped. I keep walking through the town until I somehow end up under Rainbow’s house. I frown slightly and realise that if she sees me here I will just make things worse. I turn around and try to gallop away as fast as possible, but thanks to the cut on my leg I just stumble and fall. Pain shoots up my leg and tears fill my eyes in shock. No, pain is good. I tell myself and with that statement I stand up and begin to limp away in a different direction. By the time I pass the town hall the pain is unbearable and I collapse to the floor, I slowly drag myself into a corner so I will not be seen. I just want to be left alone, I don’t want to hurt any pony else. I finally get a chance to examine the cut; unfortunately it’s not too deep. I sigh sadly and close my eyes, just wanting to have a little rest before I get up and get moving again. **** The warm sunlight kisses my closed eyelids, causing me to wake up. I look around, confused about where I am. Last night rushes back into my mind as I slowly climb to my hooves. My leg cries out in pain to me, begging me to get help but I simply ignore it and begin to walk again. A flash of Rainbow zooms over my head, causing wind to rush through my purple mane. I freeze, knowing that it’s Rainbow Dash and she has definitely spotted me. Surely enough the flash of Rainbow flies back towards me and this time stops beside me. “Hey squirt,” Rainbow smiles at me, “Are you... Whoa! Your leg!” Her gaze is focused on my cut leg, it looks bad since I haven’t cleared up the blood but I just shrug it off. “It’s cool, um, what’s up?” I look at her, trying to change the subject. The cyan Pegasus stares at me, and then shakes her head, “I was wondering if you were up for talking yet.” “I already told you Rainbow,” I mutter, “You’re better off without me.” I turn and begin to walk away, trying to hide my limp. “What’s happening to you, squirt?” I hear Rainbow whisper but I pretend not to hear her. I keep walking until I hear Rainbow Dash flying behind me; I stop and turn to face her. “What?!” I snap at her, why can’t she just get it? She doesn’t say a word, she just throws me onto her back and flies before I have a chance to react. We are so high up; I could probably just jump and get this all over with. I shift my weight slightly so I am closer to the back of Rainbow, just one move and I’ll be gone. “Don’t think about it,” Rainbow growls, “I’m the fastest flier in Equestria, I can catch you.” I flinch and move back, “Where are we going?” “To Sweet Apple Acres,” The wind runs through my mane as Rainbow speeds up, “we’re going to sort this out once and for all.” “No! Don’t bring me there!” I cry out, “I can’t go there! I’ll jump, I’ll do it!” Rainbow smirks, “Sure you will, kid,” she rolls her eyes, “You need to sort this out.” I look at her for a few moments, then close my eyes, “Fly back now or I will do it,” I keep my voice calm and steady, making it clear that I’m not messing around. I can see from the look on Rainbow’s face that she still doesn’t believe me, she keeps flying forward and I can see Sweet Apple Acres growing larger and larger as we get closer. I look over the edge once more before closing my eyes, telling myself that this is it, this is where all my pain ends. “Thank you for everything Dashie,” I whisper before I jump off her back. Above me I can hear her scream and fly down after me, but I close my eyes as I feel myself falling and falling. This is a nice way to go, the wind in my mane, the sun in my face, it’s peaceful. I am closer to the ground now, I am almost there, it’s almost over. Suddenly a loud bang and a flash of colour happens above me, I can hear the sound of a Pegasus cutting through the air. Then, everything goes black. **** “Scoots, wake up,” A voice whispers to me, “please, I won’t take you there okay?” Ugh. Why am I still alive, why am I not dead? Is this a cruel joke? “Take me where?” I feel myself mumble a reply. I force my eyes open and see Rainbow Dash holding me, behind her is a large rainbow with every colour of her mane. “To Sweet Apple Acres, I won’t take you there,” tears roll down her cheeks, “I should have listened, I didn’t expect you to jump, why did you jump?” “You did a Sonic Rainboom...” I whisper as I look at the Rainbow in awe. “That doesn’t matter right now,” She makes me look at her, “why did you jump, Scoots?” “I told you to leave me alone,” I sit up weakly, “I’m trouble, I deserve to be gone.” Rainbow looks at me sadly, “Come on, kid, let’s get you home...” I nod and let her put me on her back again. She makes sure that I’m holding onto her and makes it very clear that I must not let go. I agree and allow her to fly me home without any protest. We fly to my house in silence, but once Rainbow opens my bedroom window and places me on my bed she turns to me. “You need to listen to me, squirt, I care about you,” Her eyes begin to tear up again, “I don’t want you doing any stupid stuff.” I look at her for a few minutes, “I won’t,” I feel guilty about saying that because I know it’s a lie. I hate it here, I hate being here. Rainbow probably only saved me because she didn’t want to feel guilty. I sigh as she pulls my covers over me before walking back over to me window; she glances around my room and sees the broken mirror on the floor. She frowns before shaking her head, knowing that I will not give her any good answers if she asks. “You know where I’ll be if you need me, kid,” She looks at me, “Also, you still have the other crusaders to talk to as well.” She smiles at me before flying away, leaving me to my thoughts. **** I was so close, so close to getting out of this place, but I was stupid enough to do it with the fastest flyer in Equestria. I sigh sadly and walk around my room, trying to think of what to do. The cut on my leg has begun to scab over, and I have cleaned away all the blood. It looks disappointingly small, I’m somewhat tempted to make it bigger. Rainbow almost took me to Sweet Apple Acres, which means the other Crusaders must have been there. Maybe they don’t care about me anymore, maybe they don’t want to check and see if I want to crusade with them anymore, not that it matters to me, I told them to back off and that’s exactly what they did. However, what if it’s Cloud Chaser who is stopping them from seeing me? I guess I could thank him for that... but I do have to admit, I miss hanging out with the girls, I feel so lost without them. It’s funny, I’m never going to find my cutie mark now because I’m going to be long gone before that happens. The past few days have proven to me that I am definitely not wanted, no pony has bothered to check on me, not even my closest of friends, I don’t think I’m part of their group anymore. It is as if they have non-verbally kicked me out of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They haven’t invited me out since that Cloud Chaser came to town. He’s the cause of all this. Hanging on my door is the cloak Sweetie Belle made for us so long ago. I quietly throw it around my shoulders before walking down the stairs. I stop when I hear the urgent hushed voices of my parents. “But darling, we can’t just leave her here!” my mother whispers. “We don’t even want her,” My father retorts, “Why should we care?” “Because she is still our child!” Mother hisses at him, her voice rising slightly. “No,” Father growls, “She is your child, not mine, you had her with another colt, she’s your mistake.” I wince as I hear this news, is that why they hate me so much, because I was a mistake? It makes sense, I know they both wanted a child so badly so when I came along they were happy enough and father must have accepted it... Then when Star Twist came along they decided to shun me since they had a better child, they had a child who was both of theirs, and they didn’t need to use me as a comfort anymore so they just decided to forget me. “But we can’t just leave her here whilst we go away for a month, she’ll starve, and we’ll be charged for abuse!” Mother shouts. I then realise that, although she sounded like she cared in the beginning, she only cared about herself and the fact that they’d be in trouble. For all I care they can leave me here forever. I know that I wouldn’t be wanted wherever they’re going so I might as well stay here. To be honest, I’m glad that I am not fathers real child, I wouldn’t want to be related to him whatsoever, so it makes me happy I don’t have his bitterness in my blood, however, I would like to know who my real father is... Knowing mother she probably just had a one night stand so she doesn’t even know him, my chances would be pretty slim at finding out even if she does remember due to the fact that I wasn’t even supposed to hear this conversation at all. I sigh and decide to push this whole situation out of my head before trudging back up the stairs and into my room. I sit down in the broken pieces of mirror whilst I search through my drawers to find something to ease the pain I’m in, both emotionally and physically. Finally, I come across a packet of painkillers so I take them out of the box and walk over to my bed. I ignore the fact that I have opened up my old cut from this morning, plus made at least another five new cuts during this process, and climb into my bed, not caring that I will most likely ruin my sheets. Once I’ve climbed in and gotten comfortable, I take a hoof-full (about 6 or 7) of them and stuff them in my mouth. Hopefully these will knock me out for the night, or better yet make me disappear forever... however, knowing my luck I will wake up in the morning still as alive as ever. The pills begin to slowly drag me under into the grey world where you’re neither asleep nor awake, I drift there for awhile until, finally, I am pulled under into the darkness of a deep sleep.