A Pokemon Problem
(6) - Onward and Upward
After spending a seemingly infinite amount of time lying on the forest floor in a pile of fallen leaves and roots, Ryder finally showed his first signs of movement ever since he'd been one-shot by Second Sight.
Blinking the spirals from his eyes, he shook his head—which had the added effect of vibrating his entire gaseous form. Letting out a groan, he asked, his voice warbled and echo-y, "What the heck happened?"
Rolling over and returning to the air, I answered with my thoughts. "You got insta-K.O.'d by an angry unicorn."
He turned towards me, as if he could somehow detect where I was, even though I was communicating via telepathy. Maybe he did know where I was: I wasn't a Gastly, so how the hell should I know?
"...You know what? I believe you."
"Good, 'cause it's the truth."
After remaining silent for a short while, Ryder rose into the air, unsteadily at first, then with gaining control. "I suppose I'm right in assuming that you know where we are, right?" he asked, his voice pleading.
"Yeah..." I replied, purposely avoiding the answer for as long as I could.
"So... where are we and why in the deities above and below are we Pokemon?"
"The mystical land of Equestria, and I have no fucking idea," I responded with a straight face. Straight eye?
I received an 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' look in return.
I shook my body in a negatory fashion.
To be completely honest, Ryder didn't freak out nearly as much as I thought he would. Although, I don't think the tree appreciated being head-butted repeatedly.
After letting out his anger for almost a minute on the poor tree that looked like a redwood cedar, Ryder said, "So we're trapped in your fantasy pony-land, as Pokemon, for no apparent reason? Is that all?"
I casually dismissed his sarcasm. He was still probably just in shock. Well, I probably was too, but at least I had a clear head... or a Clear Body.
"Yeah. Pretty much. I guess that means you don't know why we're here either, huh?"
Ryder sighed. When he inhaled, he grew to one-and-a-half times his size, and then subsequently lost it after exhaling. "Nope. I don't even remember the last thing I—... we were doing. I remember waking up in that stupid cave, wondering what the heck was wrong with me when my everything didn't work, then wandering around for a while, occasionally phasing through walls. Christ, do you know how hard it is to float?"
I glared at him. "You're preaching to the choir, Ryder."
"Oh. Yeah. Right," he said, as if re-noticing the form I was currently occupying. "How's being a Beldum working out for you?"
I made a wave motion, approximating a shrug. "Could be worse, I suppose. I could be a Gastly..."
"Oh ha-ha. Being a Gastly isn't all bad: I feel lighter than ever, my eyesight improved, I can kinda-sorta see through things, and I look awesome."
"Pff," I thought. "You're just a floating purple and black head. You look silly. Me, on the other hand... I weigh enough to create a crater in the ground when I fall, I can hear for miles, and I think there's some sort of compass system built into me. Oh, and I look much cooler than you do."
"In your dreams, smuck."
I beamed inwardly. Man, but did it feel good to be able to talk with someone and not have the entire conversation be a one-sided affair.
"So," Ryder began, "I told you about everything interesting that happened to me. Mind returning the favour?"
I nodded as sagely as a couple-hundred pound, floating chunk of metal could.
"Well, it all started when I woke up on the side of a mountain..."
\/\/\
After elaborating what exactly I had been up to in my brief time in Equestria, Ryder had a choice question.
Out of all the possible questions he could've asked, all the questions, he chose this one first:
"Why the heck did 'Morning Dew' call you 'Little Guy?'"
If my eye were capable of emitting death waves on command, Ryder would be in a different plane of existence. "Really?" I mentally shouted. "Really?!"
"What? You're neither little, nor are you a guy."
"Hey! I'll have you know that I've fu—"
"Not like that!" Ryder asserted. "What I mean is: the Pokemon that you're currently inhabiting is genderless. I mean, of all the things to call you, why 'Little Guy?' Why not 'Heavy Metal-Thing' or something more realistic?"
If I had arms, I would've facepalmed. "We're in Equestria, Ryder. I'm pretty sure this place is a textbook definition of unrealistic." After a pause, I asked, "Any questions that aren't stupid?"
He rolled his eyes. "I don't have any questions that you can answer. Unless, of course, you figured out why we're freakin' Pokemon by any chance—"
"No."
"—Then I'm all questioned out." Ryder looked around, his ghastly form flickering and dissipating at the edges. "So, little guy: Where to?"
That was a very good question. I quickly rose up to several hundred feet and looked at my surroundings.
Stretching for miles in every direction were the tops of thousands of trees: the multicoloured leaves and somewhat bare branches informed me that it was probably in the middle of fall, if seasons were the same in Equestria.
Looking behind me at the way that I'd come from previously, I saw the mountain that I had appeared on—Foal Mountain. A little to the right, a rising column of grey-black smoke punctured the tree canopy and coagulated in the sky.
I imagined myself gulping, hoping that Second Sight hadn't found out that his home was now nothing more than kindle and firewood. Thankfully, the unicorn hadn't appeared out of the nearby shadows of the cave yet with one of his Shadowports™, so we still had some time. I hoped.
Doing a one-eighty, I faced what I instinctively knew as north-west. In that direction, a lower mountain range rolled, and beyond that, I thought I saw the glint of train tracks.
I figured that going to Celestia and seeing if she knew how to send us back would be our best bet. And besides: Didn't all train tracks lead to Canterlot?
I narrowed my eye resolutely. That was it, then. Follow the tracks, hopefully find everyone else along the way, and try to get out of this mess.
I flew back down and told Ryder what I had seen.
"Sounds like a plan to me, little guy."
I resisted the urge to use Take Down on him. After all; I'd probably just phase right through, anyway.
Zipping my thoughts shut, I hovered above the tree line and flew north-west, Ryder trailing on my metaphorical heels.