//------------------------------// // Pushing Everypony Away // Story: Replacing Scootaloo // by I am not a Dalek //------------------------------// Chapter 6- Pushing Everypony Away Fed up with the whole concept of living, I trudge into my room and lock my door. At the moment, I just want to be alone, I don’t want any pony to talk to me, and I don’t want any pony to care about my existence... Well, not that they would anyway. The only pony that would want to talk to me would be my father since I didn’t return with his ingredients last night. I’m sure he managed to get them himself though so I don’t worry about that too much. Right now, I just want to forget that I exist. As I sit in the silence of my room, I think about my greatest fear, the fear of being unloved, the fear I have been living with from a very young age. At the age of three my parents were already pushing me away and replacing me with my new born sister. I desperately tried to draw their attention back to me, however, whatever I did just failed. Mother and father would buy Star Twist all the toys a young filly could dream of, they would take her to the Wonderbolts air shows, they would give her all the things they used to give me before she came along. I was deeply jealous of Star Twist, I despised her... She stole my parents, she stole my happiness. I still blame her for that right up to this day. Back then she was an innocent little foal, I know that I had no right to hate her all those years ago, but now she is just as horrible as the rest of my family. My fear still sticks with me though, in fact, my fear of being unloved is what got me into this mess. I should have just accepted that I was losing my friends, accepted that no pony cared instead of causing all the ponies I love stress and pain. Nonetheless, I still hate the feeling of being alone, being forgotten. No matter how much I tell myself that I should just accept it all, I can’t because I hurt, I hurt so much. I feel as if I am reliving my childhood again and I’m being replaced but instead of Star Twist, this time it’s Cloud Chaser. How could he do this to me? I know he’s making all the other ponies think badly of me, although they probably already thought badly of me before he came along... A knock at the window causes me to snap out of my internal monologue. Curious about who is at my window, I walk over and carefully open it to find a Cyan Pegasus with rose eyes hovering in front of me. “Rainbow?” I ask, confused as to why she’s here. “Hey squirt, mind if I come in?” She smiles, but I can see something different in her eyes, she definitely isn’t happy. “Um, sure...” I step back to let her fly in, then close the window behind her. “So, I just spoke to Rarity...” Rainbow carefully sits down on my bed. I look at her, confused, why is she talking about Rarity? “That’s... nice?” I reply. “She said Sweetie Belle came in really upset today,” Rainbow says, “Apparently you were really worked up and they couldn’t do anything to help.” “I’m... Okay,” I stutter over my words, my eyes begin to water. “I can see you’re not Scoots,” Rainbow gently puts her wing around me and I flinch away. “Why do you care?” I whisper, the tears finally escape. Rainbow stares at me, hurt evident in her expression, “What do you mean? I’m your big sister.” “You only care because you feel sorry for me, because I begged you to be my big sister, you had no choice!” I cry, “I’m a no pony, I can’t fly, I’m no use to you Rainbow Dash!” “Scootaloo, I care about you, why are you pushing us all away?” Her rose eyes look at me sadly. “Because I’m saving you!” I sob, “I’m useless, I’m pathetic, you shouldn’t care about me, no pony else does!” Rainbow Dash is one of the most important ponies to me, and I know that if I really care about her I should let her go before I really hurt her. I hurt every pony. She probably won’t be too upset, I’m pretty sure she’d be relieved. Cloud Chaser has probably already spoken to her about me. She probably said I was just an anchor; she probably wants to take a Pegasus who can actually fly under her wing. I bet she’s already taken Cloud Chaser under her wing. “Scoots...” Rainbow tries to put her wing around me again, but this time I jump up. “Just go!” I yell at her, tears streaming down my face, “I’ll only end up hurting you! Deep down you don’t care, no pony does, and I’m just saving you the trouble Dash!” Rainbow Dash flinches and stands up slowly, “Scoots, kid, please...” She begs but I turn my head away, putting my focus on a chip in the paint on my light blue wall. “You’re wasting your time, think about it Dash, hanging around with a Pegasus that can’t fly... You’re going to ruin your reputation. I’m just saving you,” I whisper, it feels like someone is stabbing me with every word I speak. “I can’t leave you here like this, please Scootaloo; there are ponies who care about you!” She pleads with me, but I know she is lying. Every pony feels sorry for me, I’m just there because they want to be nice, and they don’t actually like me. I’m a hindrance for them. I’m a waste of time and a waste of space. They’re better off without me. “You’re lying, no pony cares about me, it’s just all out of pity,” I spit, “just save yourself Rainbow, just go away.” Rainbow stand there for a few more moments before sighing and walking towards the window, she turns to look at me, “there’s no use talking to you if you’re like this squirt,” She says, “come to me when you’re ready.” The cyan Pegasus opens the window and slowly flies out, she turns to look at me once more and I see her eyes glisten from being slightly damp, she probably just got something in her eye. I close the window quietly before curling up on the floor and crying hysterically. That’s it, I’ve lost my best friends, I have lost my idol and big sister. In a way, I have saved them all too, but I have been left here alone, whilst every pony else goes and finds a replacement for me. I feel as if I am falling deeper and deeper into the black hole which is my mind, and I have no way of escaping. I really am a waste of space. Maybe I should just... Disappear.