Introspection
Big Macintosh sat quietly at the eating hall, thoughts of what happened last night buzzing around in his head. He was tired, very very tired. But, a little ashamed as well. What he did with Luna felt very empty and hollow, not to mention a kind of betrayal to a pony he had seen nothing of for months.
Annebell...
Why was he thinking of her right now? One would think Luna would be the one occupying his mind. After all she's the one he-
"Are thou well, Macintosh?" The farmer lifted his head. "Thou aren't eating thine lunchen. Might something be troubling thee?"
Mac was a horrible liar and he knew it, probably runs in the family, but all the same, he just went with the half truth that he was tired.
Luna chuckled. "It hath been many eons, though we believe we still, as the kids say, have it." She took a bite of her salad a chewed happily. Though, her eyes grew concerned when she observed the look her associate bore was more one of thought than sleep longing.
The stallion's mind was running faster than any other time in his life. His stomach was doing flips inside of him and his heart felt slow. Why did something that felt so good at one point, feel so bad at another? Why did he want to do it so much? Granted his first time could almost be considered rape, but after they began, he didn't want to stop. It was the most incredible experience of his life.
"There's something on your mind, Macintosh." Luna said, garnering the stallion's attention. "As long as we've been trapped on the moon, I've never forgotten the look of a mind in thought."
He sighed and made his confession about his first time, and how confused he was on the inside. Careful to leave out how he felt about another mare.
Luna listened with both interest and compassion. Giving a gentle nod or warm smile of encouragement when he spoke in embarrassment. "Macintosh, I had no idea it was... That I was-" She blushed. "Well, I do suppose I owest thou an apology for being so rough with thee, we had assumed thou to be a stallion of many woos."
Mac furrowed his brow and glared up at her. It wasn't just accusation of being an easy lay that bothered him, but the constant switch between singular and multiple self addresses. It wasn't a big thing, but still annoying all the same.
Genuinely confused, Luna questioned his harsh eyes.
"Ah don' jess go 'n rut random mares, nopony does."
Luna gave a nervous smile. "Well, I'm not saying thou does, but with thine age and build, surly you've been courted by a herd at least."
Mac quirked a brow. "A wah?"
"A herd." Luna nodded.
Mac's confused eyes began shifting in thought, he knew cows had herds, but ponies? From his understanding they were monogamous creatures. Not by design, but by civilization standards.
"MONOGAMY?" Luna's eyes constricted. "One stallion and one mare? That's preposterous! The female of our species vastly outnumber the males, whom are they supposed to love? Each other?!"
Mac gave her a flat look, wow was she out of the loop. How did the three years since her return not educate her about these matters? Surly her sister must have said something, right?
"Oh my." The mare peaked crimson. Ha! Apparently even she can be embarrassed in sexual matters. "Well, I suppose that I shall need to read up on more of our civilization since I appear to be so ignorant of our changes."
"'Lot happens in thousan' years." Mac agreed. Though he couldn't help but dwell on the thought of polygamy, how difficult that would have to be? Not to mention awkward, he couldn't help but chuckle inwardly at the though of some random stallion trying to introduce his two wives to one another. Not to mention how much of a pain anniversaries would be, along with hearts and hooves day.
"May we ask you a question, Macintosh?"
"Sure."
"Have you told anypony about the Triple M. Corporation?"
The stallion quirked a brow. Talk about odd questions, though he answered honestly. Truth be told, he'd almost forgotten the company who the griffins who saved him worked for. "Why?"
"Oh nothing." Luna said quickly returning to her food.
As odd as the question was Mac dismissed it and returned to his meal. After a moment of silence, he decided to ask a question of his own.
"Why do ya wanna-" he paused to make sure he had her attention. "Ya know, take me to tha' bedroom with ya?" It was a legitimate question, after all, there were plenty of male guards stationed all around Canterlot. Unicorns and Pegasi no less, what would a princess want with a simple earth pony?
Luna blushed at the inquiry but took her time to find the right words to answer. "Well, we need the affection of a stallion from time to time."
"Ya, but, why me?"
She offered a plethora of answers, each of which he shot down. Ranging from just wanting to sleep with a stallion to finding if he kept to his name sake. That should have been enough, if she had answered truthfully to any one of them. Though Big Mac couldn't lie to save his life, he could defiantly identify a liar when he saw one.
Sighing in defeat, Luna gave her real reason for the stallion's 'services'. She wanted foals.
Mac couldn't the grimace of disgusted when she told him that out of the numerous stallions she had sexual intercourse with, none proved to be able to fertilize her womb. If what she said was true, she bucked nearly every guard in the royal palace and the male half of the Wonderbolts. all of which failed to impregnate.
However, her cycle had skipped a month when she had intercourse with Mac a while ago. It may of only been a month, but it was a change from her usual disappointment. By her thought process, if only one session could do that, maybe he was the only one who could father her foals.
"Ya buckin' me so y'all c'n get pregnant?" He nearly yelled.
"Is that so wrong of us?" Luna shot back.
"Ya'll evah consider jess adoptin' a foal?"
"This is about the furtherance of the lunar bloodline! Not simply having a pony wonder with our name!"
The two sat in silence for a moment, tensions rising, manipulations being registered. It was then that Mac heard somepony say something.
"I just wish to have foals of my own, Macintosh!"
It was then that the unexpected guest walked out with a word of disinterest. Though, the stallion wasn't happy with being deceived. Having sexual intercourse for the sake of intimacy was one thing, but doing it for the sake of offspring? And with out the consent of the stallion? That was a line. He was confused enough just to have such a physical relationship on its own.
"I-" Luna's eyes grew wide. "I'm sorry Macintosh, I..." Her eyes began brimming with tears. "I wasn't thinking, I was just... Just..." The jumped from her seat and burst through the dinning room door.
Mac stood half dumbstruck and groaned. Oh yea, sure. First Annebell and how he felt like he betrayed her last night, and now Luna confessing... that and running out. Anything else world? Anything else you might wanna throw my way?
'What? Are you seriously blaming yourself for this? Are you buckin' kidding me?' Oh hey, it's that voice he hadn't had for a while. 'She tries to make you become a father against your knowledge, why do you feel guilty?'
Mac supposed it was how upset she was. He never liked to see mares cry, especially when it was his fault. With a disheartened sigh he returned to his plate.
'Crying mares? Seems to happen a lot doesn't it?'
Hmmm?
'Come now, surly you've noticed it!'
Noticed what?
The voice groaned. 'Every time a mare wants something? Or one of them wants to not feel bad for doing something wrong? Remember Applejack when she started crying? How often has she shed tears?'
I thought it was because I was leaving and she didn't want me to.
'Yea, right after talking down to you didn't work. Remember?'
Thinking back on the intervention, the apple farmer began recalling the conversation that happened over half a year ago. He remembered how much he knew leaving was right, and through all of the stern lecturing of his sister the fact never changed. However, it was her tears that made him second guess himself. It was her more vulnerable side that almost made him stay.
If he was being honest here, it was the same with Luna just now. Even if he was still a bit confused as to why she had the sudden outburst of tears. She was in the wrong here, not him.
'That's it! Mare's have the ability to manipulate a situation and play victim even when they're wrong by simply pouting out their lips and letting a few beads of water fall from their eyes.
A discovery long since known by stallions, but yet to be acknowledged or cured.
'I think you should leave.'
Mac grunted, and go where? Back home? Granny's already playing hard ball. Not to mention he would have to live with two manipulative mares instead of just one.
'Here's a question. What were you planning to get from Luna?
Get from her?
A relationship? Love? Marriage? Foals? Could you see yourself with her for the rest of your life?
A look of disturbance crept onto the stallion's face. He never even considered a princess would be interested in him in that way, yet here he was. He found the night princess attractive, but to the point of an actual relationship? That didn't seem like something he wanted between them.
'Jeez Mac, you know what you want already. Now go get it!'
I do?
'Hmmm, let me think here for a minute. Beautiful brown mane, lavish yellow coat, spoke with a hint of an accent like yours, oh and a barrel cutie mark on one very nicely shaped-
Yea, yea, I got it. But, where do you think I should go? She's in a traveling circus, she could be anywhere in Equestria by now... If she's even in Equestria.
'Going anywhere else seem like a better idea?'
...
'That's what I thought.'
Mac had to admit, finding Annebell was a far more alluring endevor than going home, but the prospect of wondering around Equestria again wasn't. He was tired, and he just wanted to be some where he could call home.
'You're hopeless.'
His inward conversation ended there. He decided that the best thing he could do now is probably try to talk things out with his family and leave again when he had a better idea of where he'd be going. It wasn't a perfect plan, but up and leaving as it was would probably have implications that would never allow him to return to the farm again. He'd only gotten back two days ago for Luna's sake, and then he up and leaves the day after to come back to Canterlot... Yea, there's another guilt trip he didn't need.