The panic in the room was immediate and quite audible. Ponies started whispering among themselves and wondering just what was happening. Some were more worried and started to yell out their questions as if anyone had any answers. Everyone was in a state of panic.
Expect for JJ.
Jameson knew that this was probably nothing. For one thing, the pony missing was Celestia. He knew little of the ruler of Equestria, but what he did know was that she was a very powerful figure, both politically and in strength. The thought that she could be kidnapped or harmed was impossible to him. The assailant would have to get past the might of the full royal guard. And even if they could go through that wall of pure muscle and metal, then they’d have to contend with Celestia herself. He never heard a story of her might or her wrath, but generally someone who was in such a high position got it by building a throne of skulls.
The second reason why JJ wasn’t worried was because this was Equestria after all. The land where crime was hardly a problem, the place where ponies trusted each other enough not to lock their doors, the kingdom where even Jameson was greeted with a warm smile and an invitation to brunch. There was no reason for anybody to want to harm the Princess or the celebration.
An aquamarine pony that had a Cutie Mark of a harp came up to Jameson. Since he was managed a newspaper, surely he had to know the latest happenings.
“Byline do you...have any idea what’s happening right now?” she asked with a look of concern painted on her face.
“I wouldn't worry about anything, Ms. Heartstrings. The Princess probably got held up in a meeting or something” He said with a bored tone. The room was still in a heightened state of alert when the mayor spoke up.
“Remain calm, everypony, there must be a reasonable explanation!” she exclaimed.
“Good job getting the crowd calm, Mayor” Jameson thought to himself. Then Rarity went back from behind the curtains, returning from her search for the Princess.
“She’s gone!” Rarity made sure to say with the utmost bravado. The whole room gasped in unison.
“Good job getting the crowd to panic, Rarity” Jameson thought to himself.
Just then a swirl of what looked like a cloud of stars started to appear on a balcony. At first JJ thought that the Princess was finally making her grand entrance, but something about this cloud made it look more sinister, more primordial, more...evil.
Finally something oozed out of the cloud. It was a very large dark unicorn that seemed to wear a blue helmet as well as a matching chest guard. At the center of the chest guard was a pale picture of a crescent moon. Jameson assumed from its figure that it was a mare. Her eyes were massive and sported teal pupils that didn’t stare into a soul, but rather would rip into one. Its tail and mane were missing, what was there instead was the same swirling cloud that she used to make her appearance. They continued to move with energy in unnatural patterns and shapes.
She wasn't totally as black as the night. On her flank was a splotch of what looked like a dark blue and her Cutie Mark was also a pale crescent moon. Then JJ finally noticed it. She wasn’t just a unicorn...
She was an Alicorn. At this point in his life he saw plenty of Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth Ponies, but he knew of only one ALicorn in all the land. This was most definitely not that Alicorn.
Her massive black feathered wings flapped a few times, as if unused to being utilized once again. On any other creature, they would be taken as majestic, but on her they were a grim symbol of fear.
She had a grin plastered on her face. It wasn’t malicious, it wasn’t intimidating, and it wasn’t a cruel smile. Something about the grin just seemed...wrong. Then the mare spoke.
“Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious, little sun-loving faces” she stated with arrogance dripping from her voice. The whole room was silent as the black alicorn scanned the crowd. Then a lone shout rang from the crowd.
“What did you do with our Princess?!” said a certain cyan coated pony with a rainbow mane and tail. After those words were said, Rainbow Dash made a charge towards the black mare.
Jameson facehoofed. Rainbow Dash was certainly rash and reckless, but even she had to know that now was not the time to charge in. Luckily Applejack had grabbed her tail and held her back before she would do something she’d regret. Assuming Rainbow Dash ever regretted anything. The Alicorn let out a mischievous chuckle.
“Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?” she questioned. It had one of those tones that meant a pony already knew the answer, but said something so that they could hear their own voice. The dark pony was nothing but cordial and polite, but something about her just radiated tyranny and jealousy. Then Pinkie Pie answered her question in her own manner.
“Ooh, ooh, more guessing games! Um, Hokey Smokes! How about... Queen Meanie!” she said.
JJ made a beeline towards Pinkie. If she kept this going, she would surely get hurt by this malicious mare. He had to get over to Pinkie quick and shut her up before something would happen.
Luckily once again Applejack was the sensible one and shoved an apple into Pinkie’s mouth before her little game would continue. JJ stopped and let out a relieved sigh. Not that he cared for any anyone or anything. It was a good thing Applejack was always cautious and wise about all her decisions. Well, without the occasional lapse of judgement and priorities anyhow.
“Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years?” as she said this, she went over to where Fluttershy was hovering with her birds and scared them both frightfully so. Fluttershy looked away and was trembling before her.
“Did you not recall the legend?” the mare said as she turned her attention towards Rarity. Her black void of a mane somehow was corporal and started to rub Rarity’s chin. It was a simple, yet disturbing action. Then once again a lone voice shouted out from the crowd.
“I did. And I know who you are. You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon!” the star student of Princess Celestia said. The whole room gasped expect JJ.
He was the one who let out a disappointed groan.
Now his headline was pretty much rendered invalid. All that work was for nothing. He took solace in the fact that he wouldn’t have to print a retract if all of this occurred tomorrow. If only Twilight Sparkle really was crazy. At least now there was something to replace his now defunct headline.
“Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here.” Nightmare Moon said. She shot a glare at Twilight.
“You’re here to...to..” Twilight stammered out. JJ wished that she would just spit it out. He needed a quote for the newspaper that would appear in the morning.
“Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever!” Nightmare exclaimed as she let out a mad laughter that shook the hall. Her mane started to grow in size and started to swirl out to the roof as lightning was summoned unto the room, creating an unnatural storm of fear and intimidation.
All the ponies were terrified and were ready to flee in terror. JJ himself was speechless. Not because he was scared, not because he wanted to run.
But because Nightmare Moon’s plan was the dumbest idea he had ever heard.
There were just so many flaws in it. He doubted that Nightmare had taken longer than maybe lunch to come up with it and didn’t think of what the cons would be. Hell, just the buck were the pros?
It would annihilate most life on the planet. Plants needed the the sunlight to perform photosynthesis. Without that, most of the plants would wither out an die. Entire species of flora and fauna would be wiped out right there. This would cause herbivores, such as the ponies, to starve to death. Any plants that would survive would be too few to sustain an entire species. Eventually herbivores would die out leaving carnivores without a large part of their diet. Inevitably they’d die out also from the lack of food. An eternal night would cause the total death of life on the planet.
Then there’s the counterpoint. Ponies were obviously advanced enough to come up with their own ways to grow plants, so then if an eternal night did occur, they’d simply just use artificial sunlight and magic. True there’d have to be rationing, but ponies would be okay. Ponies would even care enough for wild animals to leave food out for them. Then the carnivores would be just fine anyhow.
You knew your plan was stupid when it either:
A) Caused all life on the planet to die a slow painful death.
Or
B) Have no effect whatsoever on anything.
This wasn’t just dumb. This was on a higher level of insanity than Carnage suffered from. Even The Scorpion would back out at this point. This was Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain level of stupidity. Jameson had enough of this. Besides, how would he know when to send out fresh papers?
JJ stepped out from the crowd while pushing away dazed ponies. Now was in front of the balcony that Nightmare Moon was on. The ponies in the crowd were stupefied and rooted at their spots, waiting to see what Byline would do. Some wanted to pull him back to the crowd. Some were too terrified to do it, and others were just too slow to make a move before the Mare on the Moon spoke.
“Finally, it would seem as though one pony has finally decided to once again accept me as their Princess of the night” the mare said as she looked down at him. JJ simply had a look of neutrality on him.
“Pray tell, what is your name, my loyal subject?” she asked with a slight malicious laugh.
“Name’s Byline, I’m the Editor for the Daily Bugle, the only source of news in this whole town” He said. His face and voice hinted no fear for her. If anything he seemed...annoyed.
“Ah ha, a Town Crier! You must spread word of my return, so that all may know that their benevolent Princess has returned to their lives!” she said with a slight hint of glee. Her eyes examined the stallion closely.
“But before you do that, bow before your Princess!” she said.
Jameson looked at her. Then towards the crowd. Everyone was deftly quiet. The only sound heard was the occasional thunderclap from the mare-made storm. Even then a pin drop could be heard from across the room. Jameson spotted Twilight with her mouth wide open, stunned in shock that someone would just go right up to Nightmare Moon. JJ looked back at Nightmare Moon and parted his lips.
“How about one word? No” he stated bluntly. The ponies behind him couldn’t believe their ears. What was at first a calm and polite mare instantly turned into a vision of something that matched her moniker.
“NO?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?!” she said with fury. Her mane swirled even faster and her teeth clenched. Lightning bolts rained down on spots next to JJ, as if it were commanding Jameson to kneel down.
“Would you prefer two words? Buck No! How about ten words? I would never bow down to a tyrant like you! Or maybe 46 words?!” Jameson then took a deep breath before continuing. This may of been the dumbest move he’d make in his life, and it might be the last move he’d make.
“The only sections of my newspaper I’d put you in is the either the comics or the classified ads! Your level of idiocracy is funny in a sad way, and it’s obvious you need a life coach to help with that low self-esteem problem of yours!” he finished yelling. The entire room gasped once again. Jameson was man of integrity in both print and life. He never bowed before anyone as a human, and he wasn’t going to start now as a pony. He stood defiantly before Nightmare Moon.
The black mare turned red. Her anger boiled and she let out a mighty scream that made the thunder seem like the cries of kittens. She bellowed that scream of hers and it made the hairs on all the ponies stand on end. She offered no retort, no reply, only the constant stream of force from her throat. Jameson turned around and started to trot towards the door. Nightmare Moon finally formed a sentence.
“How dare you turn your back on me!” she shrieked. Jameson did not turn around, he only made a simple counter:
“Sorry, but I have to write about how a Lunatic came back from the moon”
Nightmare Moon’s barrier shattered. If this Stallion wasn’t going to respond to threats, then surely he’d respond to force..
Using her powers she focused on several simultaneous lightning strikes to converge into one mega bolt. The air grew stale as the bolt charged it. Metallic objects throughout the room trembled as they were magnetized. The manes and tails of all the ponies started to lift up in the air as the electrons tried to find an escape. All this power, all this destructive force was directed unto one focal point.
The Editor of the Daily Bugle.
About 90,000 Amps attacked JJ. Or at least he thought it poured through him, for in all honesty he lost all feeling and consciousness the moment the tip of the bolt hit him. His body may of shook like a rag doll, it may of smelt like burnt bacon, or it might simply not exist anymore. He didn’t know, for all he could see was his memories.
It was strange how the mind prefers familiarity, especially if the familiarity was events that had already unfolded.
Jameson threw the stick of the lollipop off the side of the road. Every last lick was like another moment of bliss, but it didn’t have much substance. He had been in this strange land for about half a day and at this point he was getting hungry. He assumed that ponies didn’t eat meat, but he also assumed people didn’t become ponies. Today was a day of discovery.
Then he spotted it. Off the path was what looked like a farm. The trees had hanging fruit on them, and the fields were plowed in straight lines with various vegetables such as carrots and cabbage. On top of the tallest hill there stood a what seemed like a strange mixture of both a barn and a home.
Jameson hopped over a fence and went to the nearest tree. Red apples hung from the branches. He wasn’t much of an apples person, but dire circumstances called for desperate measures.
JJ reached for an apple. Or rather he tried to. The tree was pretty small, but even when he used the trunk as support he couldn’t reach an apple. Jameson tried to think of a way to reach the apples when a voice with a slight southern twang interrupted his thoughts.
“Ahh hope you plan on payin’ for dat”
Jameson turned around and there by the fence stood an orange pony. This one didn’t have wings, just like Pinkie didn’t. Her mane was a blond in color and seemed to be wrapped in a ponytail. Her coat was a warm tanned orange, and her face was lined with freckles. On top of her head was one of those hats that cowboys wore on those old black and white westerns JJ saw when he was a kid. She wore a saddle and on that saddle hung a few bags and a few buckets.
At least he wasn’t the only one that wasn’t naked around here.
“Sorry t’ say, but thar’s no free samples aroun’ here” she said as she stepped closer to JJ. Jameson knew that he was caught, but he wasn’t going to admit that anytime soon.
“Your tree looked like it was diseased. I was just checking it” he said with utmost authority. Even he rolled his eyes at his obvious lie.
“Tree Checker, huh? Got a badge?” she questioned as she eyed him suspiciously.
“I left it in my other necktie” he said sarcastically. There wasn’t any point in continuing this game of make believe.
“Listen, is there something I can do to maybe pay for some apples?” he stated. He may of been a deprived editor always looking for the most sensational headline, but that didn’t mean he was a thief.
The orange pony continued eyeing him. Nothing about the stallion seemed dangerous. He seemed older that her by a few decades if the wrinkles on his face meant anything. Despite his age, he was a little shorter than the average stallion. After her quick examination, the mare gave him a command.
“Turn aroun’ an’ show me yer flank” she said as she made a motion with her hoof to indicate him to turn his back.
…
…
“I didn’t mean that kind of payment!” JJ yelled indignantly. Applejack was floored by this sudden outburst and shouted back at him with a slight blush on her face.
“Ah meant show me yer cutie mark!”
JJ was now confused. First this pony wanted sexual favors and now she wanted to see, what was it? Cutie Mark? Sounded like something a 5 year old would call it a tramp stamp Regardless, this orange pony was starting to creep him out a bit.
“Cah’nt exactly hire yah if I dun know whut yer talent is”
“What do you mean “my talent”?”
“Everypony has some sorta special talent, dummy. Now ya gonna show me yer mark?”
Something about the mare made him trust her. She just seemed...honest. But still, this wasn’t the time to be making friends.
“Promise you’re not gonna try and make me squeal like a pig?” he asked. Obviously the reference went right over the mare’s head, but the mare assumed that making him squeal was probably something bad.
“I uhh, I promise” she said. JJ let out a sigh and turned his back towards the mare and stuck out his ass. Now this was just humiliating. The orange pony looked at the Jameson’s cutie mark and tried to analyze it. She didn’t understand it at all.
“So...whut does it mean?” she asked. JJ turned his neck to examine his mark. The symbol seemed extremely familiar.
There was a crimson diamond that was centered on his flank. The diamond however, was not colored in. What filled the crimson diamond was the stylized picture of a brass musical instrument that faced towards JJ’s face.
His Cutie Mark was the old logo for the Daily Bugle. Back when he first joined the paper.
“You a musician or somethin’?”