Just an Everyday Princess

by Wages of Sin


Bad Timing

"The Everfree Forest!?!"

"That's what I said Dasher, the Everfree Forest."

"But captain! Why do we have to follow her? She said-"

"I don't really care what she said. Our first priority is the princess' safety, and since it doesn't appear that Bastion reported us, we will continue to follow her until... well, we'll just follow her, and that’s the end of that."

"There they are!" Stonehoof's eyes were closed but his extended hoof was tracking in a slowly moving trace across a stretch of the forest.

Although difficult, if one looked where he was pointing they would see a purple alicorn and zebra moving nigh-invisibly in the dark forest.

"We'll follow them from a few dozen paces behind." Blue Blazer said as he began in the direction Stonehoof's scrying spell indicated.


"Well that didn't work! Any other bright ideas captain?" shouted Dasher.

"Shut it! We'd have been lost even sooner if it weren't for me!" the captain responded.

"Oh no we wouldn't! At worst we'd be lost in a few pints at the Ponyville bar! But no! You had to make us follow the princess against orders and out of our armor into the crazy forest!"

"Speak for yourself Dasher. Anyway, it looks like there is a light ahead, maybe it's where the Princess went.


"Such a weighty plea
I would not entree,
Were utmost speed
not in such desprate need."

"It's not a problem Zecora, really." Twilight reassured with a little trepidation. "It's the least I can do for a friend, I'm just happy to be able to help. It really is a lucky coincidence though, that I'd become an alicorn just in time to help you with this potion."

"Luck is not what I see,
T'was, as I'm sure you know, destiny."

"Well, uh, if you don't mind me asking, what is this potion for? I've never heard of a potion that mentions alicorn-specific ingredients..."

"It is a rare brew indeed,
One that serves a very special need.
Though the feathers of a pegasus would suffice,
those of an alicorn would work quite nice,
for the brew I now seek to make,
will serve a task it was not meant to take,
with a powerful sleeping spell,
a most fearful monster I seek to quell."

"What kind of monster?"


"You were right captain, they're in there!"

Blue Blazer grunted from exertion, he had the bottom position in the spying pony ladder this time. "And what are they doing?

"I think... I think... She's harvesting her body! She's taking the princess's feathers!"

"Then it's go time! Save the princess!"


"Just do it gently please, they're new and I'm not used to the sensations yet." Twilight asked from where she sat on the table. Zecora had a few choice feathers picked out and was carefully manipulating them away from the others for removal.

It was at that perfectly opportune moment that the front door to the hut was kicked hard enough to knock one of its hinges loose.

A quick sweep of the room that revealed many terrible things, bones, skulls, bubbling potions and smoking brews, terrifying masks and creepy candles, a zebra with a mouthful of feathers and a wide eyed alicorn.

"Don't worry princess we'll save-"


Twilight watched in shock as Zecora dropped the large cluster of feathers that had been unceremoniously ripped from her wing, and then looked to eyes of the Zebra who was also still processing what had just happened.

She risked a glance at her wing and immediately regretted it. She could see her down feathers in places that should only be visibly populated by critical-for-flight primary feathers.

After a few milli-seconds of processing she looked back to Zecora, who was still frozen in shock, and then to the true cause of the problem.

"...we'll save-" she blasted him with a stun spell, the other two were down less than a second later.


"Ugh... What happened? The princess!" Blue Blazer's eyes shot open as the events leading up to his unconsciousness replayed in his mind.

"Yeah... About that..." Dasher said as he peeked in from the kitchen, "She's gone."

"We've got to find her!"

"Nah, not really," he said coming out of the kitchen with a sandwich, "she left a note that says and I quote, 'Go home together once you're all awake. I'll be back to the library once my friend Zecora and I finish something.' and if you couldn't hear it, the 'friend' was underlined."

"Well, I guess it’s nothing to worry about then... huh... Where's Stonehoof?"

Dasher suddenly lost apparently even the concept of eye-contact "He's ...uh... nowhere! Nope! He's just nowhere. In fact, who is this Stonehoof? I've never heard of him..."

"Dasher, you are probably the worst liar since the element of honesty got Discorded. Now tell me, where is Stonehoof?"

"He's uh... Camping!"

"Dasher?"

"He went for a walk!"

"Dasher?"

"Sailing! Bowling! Hangliding!"

"Dasher!"

"Suba-diving!"

"Dasher!!! So help me Celestia!"

"He went off to find the Princess! He pretended to be knocked out by the princess's spell and listened as she and the Zebra talked. He overheard that the feathers that the princess was giving to her were being used to make an alicorn-class sleeping potion. The princess and the Zebra went out to use it."

"And what in the name of Discord do they need an alicorn-class sleeping potion for? I'm not a potions major, but anything made from alicorn should be way more than medicinal. Something that powerful should be able to knock out a celestial beast!"

"Well that's good I guess..."

"No... No... Please don't tell me..."

"A Lupus."

"BUCK! Why doesn't she just teleport into the sun! How about Cerebus's stomach? I swear she's TRYING to get herself killed! We're going after them!"

"Sir she specifically said-!"

"Buck what she wants! I'm tired of this! Celestia told me specifically to keep her student safe, and so help me I'm going to keep her safe! Despite her best efforts to the contrary! Let's go!"


"Pass me the blow gun princess." Stonehoof requested. He had caught up to the mares shortly after they left the hut, and rather than send him back and risk him getting lost, Twilight had begrudgingly allowed him to come along.

They currently sat outside the cave in which their prey dwelt.

"I really think Zecora can handle it." Twilight passed the hollow bamboo blow gun to its owner, who turned it away to Stonehoof.

"Although my aim is true,
I am likely not as quick as you,
I would make the shot,
but I fear I would be quickly caught.
If you desire to aid us now,
for you to shoot, I would allow."

"Ok then, but be careful, the potion should work quickly, but this hasn't been tried before, so we don't know for sure. If anything goes wrong just run and I'll deal with him."

"Yes princess." Stonehoof gave a final nod-bow to his charge and went into the cave.

"I sure hope the Lupus is asleep." Twilight said as she kept a concerned watch on the cave entrance.

"Do not fear my dear Twilight,
For the Lupus hunts at night
and through the day
It tucks away
Until the setting light."

"But it's starting to get dark right now? Shouldn't it be waking up soon?"

"Only when the stars are out
do celestial beasts roam about."

"Oh, then we're good."

"Unless, of course,
the are awoken by force..."


"Find anywhere they may have gone?" Blue Blazer asked after a little while of searching under the sun that was just now beginning to set.

"Are you serious? The Everfree is like a bazillion miles across! They could be anywhere! Let's just head back to the village already like the princess told us!"

"Your input is noted. Now, do you have anywhere they could have gone?"

"I think there's a large cave a ways back..."

"Good we'll look there first! Show me the way!"

"No, I'm sorry sir, but we are not spelunking in a random cave for the princess who could already be back in town by now! This is ridiculous!"

"Calm down! We're just going to go to the cave entrance, no further, and yell in to see if they're there, nothing more, and if they're not there, we'll head straight home to the library. Ok?"

"We're only going to yell inside?"

"Yep, only yell inside."