//------------------------------// // 8. To Be a Hero // Story: Dysphoria, Arc 4: Summer Breeze // by thedarkprep //------------------------------// 8. To Be a Hero Rose had been sitting on a park bench for the past three hours, reflecting on the experiences of the past month. Some would call what she was doing moping, but in the end she decided that “reflecting” had a much better ring to it. Besides, she was not just staring aimlessly into the distance as one moping would. Instead she found herself lost in thought, and she had plenty to think about. Rose leaned back, casting her gaze to the sky. This position was an oddly comfortable one, and it was one that Rose found herself using every time she visited this park, starting from her first night outing in the town of Ponyville. “It’s almost been a year now, hasn’t it?” Rose thought to herself. “Strange how quickly things change.” Back then, Evening Rose existed only in her nightly outings. She owned nothing but one tattered dress and she had had no friends, no family, and had yet to find any acceptance from anypony, least of all herself. She had come to this bench to watch the moon and stars, confiding into the darkness the fears she felt, and the loneliness. Upon that sunrise she had met Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash, and later that week her world would change. “Now look at me,” Rose thought. “A prominent transgender figure, loved by her brother and her friends, accepted by the town of Ponyville, and an inspiration and a hero to transponies everywhere.” “Well, no, not a hero,” she corrected herself. “I don’t deserve that title.” A few days ago she might have been ok with calling herself that. True, she had originally fought against the concept, but the letters she had received and Cheerilee’s encouragement had made her realize how important she was to transponies like Summer. She had even begun to be ok with wielding the responsibility the title carried, ready to fight and defend those who needed her. She had been prepared to be a hero. But she was not; she knew that now. Rose allowed her thoughts to drift back to the trial, cringing at her failures. “I did the right thing in asking Dusk for help,” Rose thought bitterly. “Summer deserves a better protector.” And there it was, the thought that had remained with her since the conversation with Dusk after the trial. Tears had begun to fall from her eyes as soon as he left, and they had rarely stopped since then. “I would’ve lost Summer’s trial,” Rose muttered to herself. “I was rash and unprepared. Dusk won it so easily but I didn’t stand a chance, and I risked Summer’s future because of my selfishness… my stupidity.” Rose had hated to admit it, but Dusk had from the beginning been the obvious choice to ask for help. From the moment that Dr. Theory had left her home, she should have gone to ask for his involvement, and yet, she had not even considered it. She had avoided him, insulted him, and ignored him, where she should have begged for his help from the beginning. He would not have lost the original hearing; he might have even been able to stop the petition from being filed. He should have been involved from the beginning, but it had taken a humiliating defeat for Rose to see that. It was unacceptable. “If only I could see past myself and my own issues,” she thought. Her last conversation with Dusk had shown her exactly how much of a tunnel vision she had had, and it made her feel like a foal. Yes, she had genuinely tried to help Summer, but her own problems with Dusk and the weight of the responsibility she carried had made her unable to see the options available to her. She had seen only one goal and one way to get there. This had almost cost them their victory. Dusk, on the other hoof, always kept the bigger picture in mind. He had helped Summer as he said he would, but he had also managed to help hundreds, if not thousands, of others. He carried a responsibility to every LGBT pony in Equestria, and he managed it with ease. He kept everypony in mind and had rolled with every opportunity presented to him, as he had done with Summer’s trial, and as he had done with Rose. “He’s the hero,” Rose mumbled. “I’m nopony.” And yet, she was expected to play the hero. Soon she would be involved in whatever Dusk’s plan was, as the image of the fight for trans rights. Ponies would look up to her, ponies would thank her for her courage, and none of it would be deserved. “If there’s any consolation,” Rose thought. “It’s that I’ll just be a figure head, an image that follows instructions and follows a script. At least I won’t have the chance to mess things up anymore.” Rose began to sob into her hooves, unaware of the world surrounding her. After a while the tears stopped, leaving only her hurried breaths. Still, she failed to notice that she had acquired company. “Miss Rose? Are you alright?” The noise startled Rose, and she jerked her head around to face the speaker. To her surprise she found not one pony, but a group of four fillies and a colt staring at her with worry in their eyes. “I’m sorry to startle you, Miss Rose,” Summer said, “It just looked like you were crying and we wanted to make sure you were ok.” Rose looked at the group as the surrounding fillies nodded in agreement with Summer. She awkwardly wiped her tears before responding. “I’m ok,” Rose said. “I’ll admit I may have been a bit emotional, but I swear I’m ok. Sorry to worry you. Now, what are you all doing? Hanging out?” “Yep,” said Applebloom. “School just got out and we thought we could go back to the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse to go play.” “They said that since we don’t have our cutie marks, Summer and I can join!” said Dinky with a smile. “Only if you pass the test though,” said Scootaloo. “Don’t forget, you have to prove yourself before you can join the Crusaders.” “Um… Scootaloo? We didn’t make Babs take any test… I don’t even think we have a test,” said Sweetie Bell. “Shhh will you?” whispered Scootaloo. “We’ll come up with something when we get there.” “Ooh, ok,” responded Sweetie Bell. Rose watched the entire exchange with mild amusement, welcoming the distraction from her thoughts. “So today was the first day of classes then?” asked Rose. “How did it go?” “Oh, it went great!” said Dinky. “Miss Cheerilee introduced Summer, and then we did math, and then an art lesson, and then we played outside! Reading after that was a bit boring, but then we got out early because it’s the first day!” “Hey, don’t knock reading,” Rose chided gently. “I happen to enjoy it. So did you make a lot of friends, Summer?” “Oh yes! I got paired with Dinky for most of the class and then I got to play with Snips, Snails, and Pipsqueak when we played outside. It was a lot of fun, and now I’m hanging out with the Crusaders, so I have tons of friends.” “That’s good,” said Rose before a thought entered her mind. “You didn’t get bullied, did you?” “Um... I didn’t,” said Summer. “But Applebloom and Sweetie Bell did.” “Yeah, but it was just Diamond Tiara,” said Applebloom. “That’s normal, but then Miss Cheerilee got really mad at her for bullying us and took her inside to get a talking-to. I’ve never seen her be so strict before.” “Well now she’ll think twice before calling us ‘blank flanks’, wont she?” said Scootaloo. “Yeah, I reckon,” said Applebloom. “Good,” thought Rose. “It looks like bullying won’t be an issue as long as Cheerilee stays vigilant.” “I’m glad you all enjoyed your first day,” said Rose addressing the whole group. “But it seems you lot have an induction to get to, so don’t let me stop you.” “Yeah!” said Scootaloo. “C’mon, I’ll race you there!” Scootaloo began running towards Sweet Apple Acres with the rest of the group chasing after her. Summer, however, stopped shortly after beginning her charge. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he said, digging into his saddlebag. He pulled out a folded piece of paper which he gave to Rose. “It’s what I made during the art lesson,” Summer said. “I’d explain what it is, but I really have to go if I want to catch them.” With that, the colt began galloping towards the farm. Rose stared as the colt disappeared before turning her attention to the paper, which she unfolded carefully. What she saw brought tears to her eyes. In her hooves, Rose held a drawing. It was by no means a work of art, but it was fairly good for a colt of Summer’s age. On the one side Rose could identify Summer standing in between Timber and Spring. The two parents seemed to be placing their hooves around Summer in what Rose assumed was a hug. The background on this side of the picture had a sunny day with a clear blue sky. On the other side, however, were storm clouds and lighting strikes. This side contained a lot of ponies that Rose could not identify. In fact, the only pony she could identify was Dr. Theory, depicted as a scowling white unicorn with glasses and sharp teeth, standing in front of the group. Standing in between the group and Summer’s family, was Rose. Rose studied the drawn version of herself. She was drawn to be skinnier than she was in reality, and her mane was not the right shade of purple, but that was not what attracted her attention. What attracted her attention was the drawing’s face. Rose found it remarkable that such a simple drawing could convey such emotions, but the Rose in the picture was not scared of the coming mob. She was defiant, confident, and strong, waiting with a smirk and with a stern glare for what was to come. This Rose said, “If you want to get to them you’ll have to get through me,” and showed no intention of moving. “This is how he sees me,” thought Rose. “Even despite everything.” Rose continued to stare at the drawing, once again unaware that somepony had joined her. “It’s a good drawing,” the pony said. “Unless you drew it yourself, in which case it’s downright narcissistic.” Rose was startled by the new voice, almost jumping out of her seat. It was through sheer effort that she managed to remain seated as she turned to face the newcomer. “Oh, hello Dusk.” The blue pony responded by widening his smirk. “No shame in being startled, Ms. Rose,” he said. “I do have that effect on ponies. May I see the drawing?” Rose passed the drawing over to him. “Hm… I can’t place my hoof on who any of these ponies on the right are, though they do look familiar. Well, except for Dr. Theory of course, but really? Sharp teeth? I thought the fellow was rather reasonable once he was made aware of reality.” “It was drawn by Summer,” Rose explained. “I agree that Dr. Theory seemed less hateful once you talked with him, but to Summer he’s just the pony that tried to take him away from his family.” Dusk nodded in understanding. “Well, that would explain it. Still, sharp teeth? He tried to take Summer away, not eat him. Oh well. Kids will be kids, right?” “I’m surprised you’re not upset that you aren’t in the picture,” Rose commented. Dusk looked over the drawing again as if checking for himself. “You’re right, I’m not,” he muttered. “Oh well, I’m sure to Summer I played a minor role in the whole thing. Besides, this picture is obviously not about me, I can understand that.” Rose nodded but said nothing, unsure of how to proceed. “Anyway,” said Dusk. “As much as I love your new fan art, I actually came here to apologize.” This caught Rose’s attention. “Wait… you came here to apologize to me?” asked Rose. Dusk rolled his eyes in return. “Yes yes, I know, so unlike me, blah blah blah. Look, I realize that I was actually quite rude to you after the trial. I didn’t tell you what I was planning so it’s understandable for you to have had questions. Also, since you cared so much for Summer and his family, I also understand why me having other agendas might have upset you, especially if you thought that I didn’t give this one aspect of the events my full attention.” Rose accepted the apology with a nod before responding. “No need to apologize, Dusk,” she said. “I know you gave it your all, and I also know that you have a lot on your shoulders. You need to make sure every move you make is the most efficient and that you get the most out of it because so many ponies depend on you. I can’t hold that against you. I’m sorry I judged your methods; you were just doing what you thought was best.” Dusk smiled at her. “No apologies needed here either, Ms. Rose. All I ask is that in the future you ask me about actions you disagree with, rather than jumping to the worst possible conclusions. I believe that will save us both a lot of headaches as we work together,” Dusk said, handing her back the drawing. Rose studied the drawing again, letting her mind wander. “You are a hero you know?” Rose was snapped from her thoughts by the sudden statement, giving her attention to the pony beside her. “I know I make this all look easy and it may feel like it’s impossible to compare your achievements with mine at this point, but I have a lot of experience doing what I do, and I can say that I have yet to do what you seem to do naturally,” Dusk said. “I’m good at what I do, Rose, but I can’t inspire ponies the way you do. You got a few letters but that’s nothing compared to the number of letters we received back at headquarters from ponies wanting to reach you and not knowing where to send their mail. We have so many trans volunteers now who all said that they found the strength to be themselves because of you. You’re changing things in a way I cannot.” “I wish I could believe that, Dusk,” Rose said sadly. “But I couldn’t even properly protect one transcolt. I’m no hero.” “What do you mean?” asked Dusk. “Yeah, you’re brash, and you’re stubborn, and you have a habit of being downright insufferable… But you gave your all to defend a transcolt and his family whom you had just met. Despite being outmatched you gave your all in the fight to defend them! You even put your own reservations aside and agreed to work with me if it meant not risking their future. You are a hero, Rose: I see it, Summer sees it, and transponies all over Equestria see it too.” Dusk finished by gesturing to the picture in Rose’s hooves, after which a silence enveloped the scene. After a few moments, Rose spoke. “About working with you,” she said. “I have a request.” Dusk looked surprised. “A request? You’re sure it’s not a demand?” he asked. “It is a demand,” Rose conceded. “But I’m trying to be polite.” This caused Dusk to laugh. “Very well,” he said. “What is your request?” “When we go do whatever it is that your project entails, I want to write my own speeches and to respond to questions with my own answers,” she said. “You said these ponies look up to me, that they respect me, and that I give them hope. The least I can do is be genuine when I meet them or speak for them. The real me should help in their fight, not just your speech writers.” Dusk considered this for a minute. “Are you going to be teaming up with the Triple-E to honor your agreement?” he asked. “Or is it more than that now?” Rose shook her head. “It’s more than that now, Dusk,” she responded. “I do have a responsibility to these ponies, and it’s about time that I started fulfilling it.” Dusk nodded in agreement. “Then I would have it no other way,” he said. “Consider your request granted.” The two shook hooves. “I’m glad we had this talk,” Dusk said, getting up from the bench. He then pulled a folder from his saddlebag and placed it next to Rose. “What’s this?” she asked. “Oh, it’s the important dates and information regarding the project I was telling you about,” he responded. “It tells you when to start packing, how much to pack, things like that. Most of it will be covered in the meeting at my hotel room two weeks from now. Speaking of which, do meet me at my hotel room two weeks from now. The specific time and day should be somewhere in that folder.” Rose’s eyes widened. “So soon?” she asked. “So does that mean all the preparations are ready? And the plan? What are we going to do?” A smirk flashed through Dusk’s face. “My dear Ms. Rose, we’re going to change the world.”