Chapter 5- Paranoia
As I walk through the town, I feel as if every pony is laughing at me, talking about me... Pinkie Pie bounces past me and grins. What’s wrong with me? Why are they all looking at me like that?
I look around nervously, trying to see if there is anything stuck on my back, or if my mane is a mess... Maybe it’s because I cannot fly. Every pony is laughing at me because I’m the Pegasus who couldn’t fly. Feeling uneasy, I gallop towards the clubhouse, hopefully my fellow crusaders won’t laugh at me. They never did before.
Once I get to the clubhouse I hear the giggles of Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, maybe Cloud Chaser is not there? I run up the ramp into the clubhouse, and stop dead when I see the three of them, sitting there happily without me. Why are they here without me, did they not care that I wasn’t at home? Didn’t they try to find me?
“Scoots? What happened to you?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Fell into a thorn bush, no big deal... Are my parents mad?” I look at both of the girls.
“Why would they be mad?” Apple Bloom looks up at me for the first time since I walked in, “And why in tarnation would we know the answer to that?”
“Didn’t you go by my house to try and find me?” I frown, realising that they didn’t even bother to come to my house.
“Well... No...But we thought you were upset so we gave you some space,” Sweetie Belle looks at me sadly.
I look between both of the girls, and then finally look at Cloud Chaser.
“Can I speak to you both?” I ask before looking directly at Cloud Chaser, “Alone.”
Both of the fillies nod and look apologetically at Cloud Chaser, “We’ll be back in a minute Chase.” Sweetie Belle smiles brightly at him and I frown, they’ve given him a nickname already, they’re letting me fade away more and more!
I slowly walk out into the clearing around our clubhouse and continue walking until we’re far enough away from the clubhouse so we won’t be heard, around us we can hear the faint buzzing of a bee and smell the sweetness of the apples up in the trees. I stay silent for a few moments, using the scenery and the sounds to calm myself down.
“Why didn’t you call for me?” I ask, failing to hide how hurt I was.
“Cloud Chaser said we should give y’all some space,” Apple Bloom looks at me in confusion.
“Oh, so you’re listening to Cloud Chaser now?” I say bitterly, “You didn’t even think to check and see if I was alright?”
“Why do ya hate Chase so much?” Apple Bloom snaps at me, “You haven’t even given him a chance!”
“He hasn’t given me one either!” I yell, “He laughed at me! You don’t understand how much that hurt!”
Sweetie Belle steps forward and puts a hoof on my shoulder, “I know he hurt you Scoots, but he didn’t know...”
I wince at the sudden contact of my friend on my shoulder. It’s all a lie, she’s acting. She doesn’t care, she only cares about ‘Chase’ now, and I bet you they were laughing at me before I came a few minutes ago. If Cloud Chaser had wanted to make amends with me, he would have done it already. However, he has not even spoken to me properly since that day. He didn’t even say goodbye to me after I dropped him home! I know that he hates me; he’s been trying to get rid of me, that is probably why he told the girls to give me some space.
“Well why hasn’t he apologised yet?” I growl, my anger and hurt finally escaping.
Both of the fillies step back in fear, their eyes widen and they hold their hooves in front of them, as if they were trying to fend off a timberwolf.
“Calm down Scoots,” Sweetie Belle begs, her eyes full of fear.
“No! You’re trying to replace me!” I cry out, “How do you expect me to calm down!”
Apple Bloom gasps which causes me to look up at her. Anger fills her amber eyes and it is now my turn to step back. She hates me, that’s why she’s looking at me like that. I suddenly feel the cold bark of the tree against me and I pause, waiting for her to tell me how much she hates me.
“How could ya say that?” She screams at me, walking right up to me, “Ah can’t believe y’all would think that of us! We’ve done so much for ya Scootaloo and ya just think we’d want to replace ya?”
Tears stream down my face and I realise how much I have hurt my friend, I don’t deserve a friend like her, no wonder she wants to replace me.
“Ya know what,” She says with tears rolling down her sunny cheeks too, “we care about ya scoots.”
“No, you don’t!” I cry out, “You’re just lying, you hate me, I saw the way you looked at me just then!”
Apple Bloom flinches, “Ah’m not lying Scootaloo!”
I shake my head and begin to walk away, “Who would want to hang out with a Pegasus who couldn’t fly, I’m pathetic, useless. You just feel sorry for me!” I begin to run, galloping as fast as I can.
“For Celestia’s sake why won’t ya listen to me?” Apple Bloom shouts and I can hear both her and Sweetie Belle chasing after me.
“Scoots! Please stop!” Sweetie Belle’s voice is full of tears, which makes me hate myself even more.
“Just leave it for now, Sweetie,” Apple Bloom says and I hear her gallop slow down into a walk, “She’s fighting with herself,
we shouldn’t cause her anymore pain by arguing with her.”
I don’t hear anymore of the conversation, for I am too far away. I hate myself; I have made my best friend’s cry and feel horrible. Even if they don’t want to get rid of me they don’t deserve being put through the pain I am causing. I am a useless filly, I have no special talent, and I have no significance in the world. I may as well be dead, no pony would notice a useless pony like me being gone.
There are ponies looking at me, talking about me. No pony cares, no pony cares how I feel. They laugh at me, no obvious signs of concerns are shown. They can see my tears and anguish but does any pony dare walk over and ask if I am okay? No. I have lost the only two ponies that would bother asking, I have lost my best friends; I have made them hate me. They have a new Scootaloo now. They have a better Scootaloo, one who can fly and make them laugh.
As for me, well, I am stuck with the old Scootaloo, the stupid Scootaloo, the useless Scootaloo. I hate it. I hate it so much.