“We’re out of milk.”
“What?”
“Go get some.”
“Why me?”
“Because I said so.”
“That is not a valid reason.”
“It doesn’t have to be. I have a monster truck.”
“No you don’t.”
“In my mind!”
“Fine. Why, today of all days, does this have to happen?”
Princess Luna climbed up from her Royal Seat at the Royal Breakfast Table, putting down her Royal Glass of Orange Juice, and trotted over to the Royal Door that leads to the Royal Dressing Room. See, once a year for a week Celestia and Luna go on a bit of a sabbatical to their Royal Cottage that sits upon a hill overlooking the not-so-royal town of Lunagrad. They did this in order to get away from all the hustle and bustle and luxury and comfort and safety of Canterlot Castle. There are no servants, no guards, no papers that need signed, and no annoyances that come with running an entire nation. They still have to move the Sun and Moon though. No one knows that they go on these little trips though, because it’s all done in the quiet of high noon with the royal sisters sneaking out the front gates and subtly climbing into their bright gold chariot.
Of course it has to be on these vacations that they run out of something as necessary as milk, and at breakfast, no less. Truly things were on the brink of collapse; Armageddon was upon ponykind, for how can one have cereal or oatmeal or eggs without milk? They can’t. Luna curses her luck, though one could argue the only reason they never run out of milk anywhere else is because they literally have an entire dairy at their beck and call.
Luna didn’t really want to argue with her sister. Ironically, the Princess of the Night is more of a morning person than the Princess of the Day. Though really, who likes having to get out of bed early? Miss “I’m too important for something as menial as milk” is incredibly irritable at this time. So Luna decided to suck it up and go get the precious liquid marble that flows like fine wine and epitomizes the delicate balance of function and accessibility. Luna put on her scarf and hat and boots because even though it’s the middle of summer, Lunagrad is always cold. Always. She pried open the door, shielding herself from the greedy tendrils of sunlight that clawed their way into the serene kitchen.
“I’ll be back, sister,” Luna stated in a way more akin to someone who was going off to war, not the supermarket.
“Mhm.” Celestia had her entire face buried in a bowl of Celesti-o’s: Guaranteed to bring sunshine to your morning. And just like that, the immortal sun goddess was gone.
Luna walked out the door, leaving the slumbering Celestia to her dreaming.
The crisp, cool air made Luna shudder (why? Who knows? After all, she spent 1000 years in the cold, unforgiving surface of the moon) as she trudged down the cobblestone path that leads to the outskirts of the town. Before she reached it however, she realized that it would be beneficial to change her outward appearance, else she attract unwanted attention. She cast a transfiguration spell and immediately her form shifted shape. One could say she was a shape… changer. A brilliant light surrounded her and when it cleared she was significantly taller and stood on two legs. The being she now was had no hair, save for a few places, and had sharper teeth, opposable thumbs, and…
“What are these th-?
An especially harsh wind cut her off as she now had no fur coat protecting her. She once again attempted shape-transformering, and once the light was gone, Luna took off her sunglasses and observed who she now was. Shorter now, even more than her normal self, was a chestnut brown stallion with an hourglass Cutie Mark and a short, cropped, brown mane.
“Why do I now feel a craving for fried fish and… custard? This isn’t right.”
Once again she attempted to change her form. This time, a youthful unicorn mare stood in Luna’s spot. She had a pale blue coat like a sea, and a mane and tail of a darker blue, more like a sea, only really deep underwater. Her cutie mark was of the moon in all its full moony glory. Content with her appearance, Luna continued down the path all the way to the town of her-grad.
Lunagrad was by no stretch of the imagination a large city like Manhattan or Canterlot, but it was larger than Ponyville. The roads were wide cobblestone flanked on either side by buildings of brick and stone. It was a city designed not for practicality, but aesthetics. Luna always had a soft spot for the ponies here, even if they were a bit eccentric at times. They were hard working and honest. Actually, she had spent her last years in solitude before her transformation into Nightmare Moon in this city. It was named something different then. The ponies, instead of being ashamed, were proud of their history and changed it to Lunagrad, as a sort of memorial to their lost ruler.
As she was making her way to the local grocery store, a unicorn stallion came running up to her. He had a violet coat, like a violet. Luna was not good at similes. His eyes were deep green, like grass in the shade, and his mane was alternating pale yellow and white. Sort of like a layered yellow cake with white frosting. Mmm… cake. Luna wanted cake. The stallion’s Cutie Mark was the letter M… for some reason.
“You’re perfect!” He shouted at her and then ran away in the opposite direction from whence he came.
Luna just stood there with a slack-jawed look on her face. Lunagradians… who knows what they think? Finally, Luna reached her destination, but before she could open the door to the local convenience store to continue her noble quest, a townhouse behind her exploded with a furious fire. Glass rained down on the street, shredding anything soft enough in its path like an angry swarm. Bricks launched like cannonballs flew outwards, smashing through the store’s door that Luna had attempted to open mere moments ago. A dark cloud like a plague spread out, consuming any remnants of sunlight in the area.
“Verily, the perpetrators of this crime shall not go unpunished!” cried Luna as she attempted to change back into her fearsome form. She did not notice the ground beneath her was crumbling away, exposing the intestines of the sewer system contained within. Before her spell was finished, Luna lost her balance and fell in to the gaping hole where once civilization stood.
Down…
Down…
Down…