(The character Sharky white belongs to the author of the same name.)
I walked into the little store with a heavy sigh, careful to avoid hitting my head on the door frame. “Why do I have to do this again, Gilda?” I questioned as she dragged me into the store.
“You have to help me pick out the dining set for the wedding! Duh!” She explained once again. “I’ll go over there,” She pointed at the general right side of the store. “and see if I can find some nice plates. You go over there and try to find nice cups!” She pointed to the left side of the store.
“I don’t see why we can’t leave your mother and the servants to details like this...” I griped, really not wanting to be in a china store.
“Because I feel it’s important we give our wedding a personal touch. Don’t you agree? Sweetie?”
“Oh, of course, dear.” I leaned down and gave Gilda a quick peck on the cheek for the benefit of the reporters outside. She smiled at me, then turned and left to go look for plates, or whatever she had just said. I went to my side like the good husband I should be and began scouring the shelves for interesting cups.
The bell of the store rung softly as another “customer” came through, his appearance being rather unrefined. His darkened green hair and tail were rather unkempt, and they smelt of war and battle. Looking around, he spat at the decorations, his triangular, lime-green pupils spinning violently at the view.
“What a wretched looking place. There are no pure, Equestrian monuments. Then again, this isn’t much for accommodating anypony. Now where is he? I wonder if it’s that hairless creature over there. You!” he shouted with a loud voice. “Are you the biped capable of absorbing magic?” The stallion’s voice boomed throughout the shop.
I looked up over the shelves at him interestedly. Maybe this little pony could provide something to focus on other than china dishware.
“Technically speaking, I mimic, not absorb. You’ve got the wrong biped, sir.”
“I doubt it. Mimicking is a similar concept to copying--”
“But you said absorbing.”
“So I did. What of it? I was sent by the World of Insanity as it deemed you a possible candidate due to your powers.” He said with a straightforward tone.
“World of Insanity? What’s that?” I found it a bit inappropriate to shout across the store to speak with him, so I waved him over to me.
He tightened his eyes, but walked towards me, his hoofsteps stomping upon the ground violently.
“I have a few questions to ask you before I can deem anything of you.” He eyed me up and down with anger.
“Uhhh... dude, slow your roll. I need some answers too, this isn’t a one-way thing. Nice eyes, by the way.”
“Hey! Who’s that you’re talking to, Sharky?” Gilda called from the other end of the store.
“I’ve got no idea, hun.” I shouted back without dropping eye contact with the strange stallion. “Just try to find the plates, ‘kay?”
“Alright...” Gilda continued disinterestedly.
“Watch how you’re looking at the commander of the Council’s Militia.” he snapped at me. “I’m not here to entertain you. I’m here to interrogate you. Nothing more, nothing less. After this is over, I only need to send my report, then I can return to my searches of that wench.” he glared.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s nice, but you aren’t exactly giving me much to work with here. Who are you, what is this World of Insanity?”
He ground his teeth in anger. “I’m The Sociopath. I am the head commander of the Council’s Militia; the protector’s of Equestrian lands. The World of Insanity is where my loyalties now lie. It gives you great power in a bid to spread its influence. It is superior to the World of Illogic in every way...where that damned idiot now belongs to.” he growled and continued to grind his teeth.
“See? Was that so hard? Alright, ask away, champ.”
He narrowed his eyes as he analyzed me. His weird pupils spinning wildly in two different directions.
“Hmmm. What do you like to do? I would prefer if you performed any types of combat.”
“Like to do? Uhhh... I haven’t had time for a hobby since I got here... I guess hunt monsters. Protecting the citizens makes me feel good.”
“Hm. I approve of the monster hunting, but the citizens are not priorities.” he spoke with a rather royal posture.
“Well, yeah they are. You gotta protect the innocent, no matter the cost.” My eyes wandered over to Gilda and I thought of all my friends. “Personal cost, that is. Only if it hurts me.”
“A monster hunter becoming attached to lesser beings tends to lose their lives the second their companions are lost. Remove them from your life and you will perform better for whatever firm you work for.”
“Not happening short stuff. My friends are all I’ve got, all that matters. Other than protecting, of course.”
“Hmph. Pathetic. You would have made a poor recruit for the Militia. Next question. Do you have any family?”
“None biological, no. I have an adopted son and a few pets. Obviously I’m about to get married though.”
His face showed disinterest and boredom.
“Wonderful.” he rolled his eyes, “So no one really. That’s a good point. Anything you do for a living? And who do you work for?”
“I work for Princess Luna, killing monsters and doing the occasional odd job.”
There was a moment of silence, and Sociopath’s eye twitched. Something was going on in his mind, judging by the small growths beginning to come out from everywhere around us.”Are you anything specific to...the princesses?” he wondered with no emotion on his face.
“A knight. Why?”
A resounding crack erupted as immense thorns blasted through several walls, the vases and plates around either trembling or falling on the ground.
“You work as a knight for the inferior Royal Guard and those weakling mares? And you call yourself a warrior protecting his ‘friends’.” he snarled. His pupils were glowing ominously.
“Yeah. Now calm down and retract the thorns buddy. As it is, I’m gonna have to pay for the stuff you just broke.”
“W-what the hell is going on?!” Gilda shouted.
“It’s fine honey, just find your plates and get out, fast. Oh, and to be clear, I’m not technically a royal guard. That’s that asshole, Shining Armor’s division. I’m more along the lines of a merc.”
“The fact of the matter being that you work for those accursed brats who consider themselves royalty. They dissolved the militia after I disappeared, then they dishonored their memory by turning the successors into pure weaklings. They are incapable of doing anything. I would have impaled that changeling queen, but you wouldn’t have done that, would you? I should kill the princesses in this world, but they aren’t the ones I know. This does not change anything from their reputations as weakling rulers, especially Luna.” his anger was seeping with great ferocity as the thorns began to grow and stretch over the walls.
“... What’s a changeling?”
“...You call yourself a monster hunter...Perhaps they don’t exist in this version of Equestria. You’ll soon find out for yourself.”
“Well, I certainly haven’t been told to kill any yet. So, how about retracting those thorns, eh champ?”
“What for? You work for the princesses. I have nothing to fear from you. A final question, however. Describe your power. How do you activate it, and how does it function?”
*slap*
“Wanna be mad? Be mad at me. Remove the thorns from the store.”
Sociopath rubbed his cheek, then a huge barrage of thorns erupted from beneath me, blocking me within a confined space.
“This is what we would do to the griffins who would kill our comrades. Those wretched beasts, unfortunately, are still around. I miss the days of warfare with them, but fighting the whole Griffin army without my troops would remove any amusement from their deaths.” he smiled ferociously.
“Well, this is a new trick. Gilda, shopkeep, get out. Now.” they ran out without a second thought.
“Oh. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt the shopkeeper or your feathered pet. I’m only here to ask questions. Simply answer my last and I’ll leave this horrid world. It’s so...weak.”
“Are you fireproof?”
“Fire is irrelevant. Why the question?”
Then I summoned Ravidos’s rage and lit my hands on fire. I reached through the thorns, grabbed the strange stallion, and hurled him through the front door. I then stood up and followed him.
“Alright, ask your last question now.” I ordered as I left the store.
He brushed himself off as the scorch marks around his neck remained.
“Hm. Elemental magic. I am thoroughly unimpressed. I had already asked you the question as well. The functions of your powers and how you activate them, as well as their effects on your body.” he smiled faintly.
“Right, forgot. I was distracted by the thorns. Which, by the way, is considered Earth elemental magic, hypocrite. I don’t activate it. It just happens. I stand next to somepony and their magic slowly molds the unshaped magic in my body to match theirs.”
Sociopath laughed openly at this remark.
“Earth magic? You think the walls had ground in them? You think that these thorns growing from my legs are from the land as well? There are things in existence that silly peasants such as yourself cannot hope to comprehend, let alone try and control. I would watch my back if I were you, as there are many powers yet unknown to those working for those two brats with crowns.”
“Yeah yeah, well I’d work for a rat if I thought it helped the general public. No need to get so hung up on my employers.”
“Your employers are weaklings who only deserve death, and you intend to marry a griffin. I find nothing impressive about you except for your bizarre power. *sigh* However, if the World of Insanity says that you are a worthy recruit... I find that you would belong more to the pathetic World of Illogic. Your thought pattern is too close to theirs. Weaklings, all of them.”
“If you say so. Let me tell you something about Gilda though...” I leaned in close and told him the truth of our marriage. “And again, would work for a rat if it helped the public. It’s not about the princesses, they just happen to be able to get me to where I’m needed fastest.”
“I’m disgusted. They shouldn’t receive that sort of treatment. They should be obliterated from existence! Your kind and the ponies of this era are all but weaklings. I had hoped a millenary of absence would have changed everything, but it seems that all it did was weaken the resolve and the honor of all self-respecting ponies. Unless you have something to add, I will leave this world and give my report.”
“Know any place where I can get decent invitations?” I teased, not caring for the stallion’s presence any more.
“Perhaps at the tinkering china store?” he countered.
The ground trembled a bit and, looking back at the store, immense thorns suddenly blasted out of it, tearing the place apart with violent sounds of crumbling and shattering.
“There we go. Now that obscene object has been disposed of.”
“... Crap.”
“Hmhm. Now I will take my leave. You do not seem like a very promising candidate for the World of Insanity.” he said as he turned his back.
“Screw you too, buddy. Now I have to do so much stuff... Well, this is better than china shopping anyway...” I walked away from the strange stallion, muttering to myself about how to deal with this mess.
Another immense construction of thorns erupted from the ground in front of Sociopath. They didn’t seem to do anything, but the middle portion spread away to give view to a very bright light.
“What is the next candidate, I wonder.”