//------------------------------// // Of Economics, Students, and Disappearances // Story: Mane 6: Faux-Friends or Foe-Fiends? // by Kunnka-Kun //------------------------------// The Ponyville town square was a buzzed with activity, all of it focused on readying the town for the Summer Sun Celebration. Pegasi were hanging up strings of colored flags, rooftops were being decorated with fabrics, and the occasional tent or two rose up to sell wares and trinkets commemorating the event. Town Hall itself was being spruced up with fresh coats of paint and any dust was being swept away to make room for a new layer of dust on a later day. Tables, decorations, and other odds and ends were being brought into the hall and getting set up. JJ even saw Rarity setting up streamers and curtains in rare glimpses into Town Hall when the doors would swing open. Jameson decided to take a look at what the tents were selling; maybe something would catch his eye. News in Ponyville was so sparse he had to create different sections of the Daily Bugle just to fill up space. One of those sections was product reviews. He'd buy something and check to see if it did what was intended to do, as well as if it did it effectively. He reviewed pretty much anything. He wouldn’t go out of his way to buy products that people were interested in, in truth the product reviews were just a marginal utility for him to use. He’d buy an item then write a review to waste space in the paper. That wasn’t to say that his reviews were shoddy. His rigorous standards would make even Blue Blood think JJ was too stingy. One time he bought a simple pen. Before using it he put it through many tough trials. He dropped it from the top of town hall. He tried to crush it under his hoof. He kept submerged it in water, apple juice, punch, and cider all in that order. It still worked pretty well. He rated it three and a half out of five. It could have written more consistently. It was his duty to warn consumers about anything and everything. After All, consumers could use all the information they could get. The average human consumer for all intents and purposes was a complete moron. They had no idea how market forces work, no idea what they actually wanted in a product, and were afraid of trying new things. They could be lead easily like a flock of sheep into the newest trend or lead astray from a superior product. They say they want freedom from regulation and control, but one little injury and they’ll scream for help. This may have seemed harsh, but JJ wasn’t exactly a kind man to judge others. Ponies weren’t too different. For one thing, he hardly thought that any of them developed an understanding of economics, or if economics was even a valid field of study in Equestria. True, the local library had books on money management, but they only applied principles to the individual. They were all also written for little fillies and colts to help manage their allowances. Macroeconomics simply wasn’t a thing in Equestria. This might have been because Macroeconomics would simply make no sense at all in this setting. One of the core principles of economies is that there is a certain level of unemployment that must be maintained. Too much unemployment causes there to be less money to circulate in the economy. If a pony doesn’t have a job, then they aren’t earning bits. If they aren’t earning bits, then they can’t spend bits. Eventually enough unemployment would lead to a complete collapse of the economy and then there’d be a lot of ponies begging on street corners for bits. Too little unemployment and inflation goes through the roof. If there’s little unemployment, then the job market is too small with potential employees. This causes business to compete with each other for employees by offering higher and higher wages. Eventually inflation rises to meet those wages. Employers have to raise their prices to make enough money to pay for these increasingly higher wages. Hyperinflation then occurs. One day a bag of apples would cost three bits, but the next day it would increase to around seven bits. And then the next day it’d be 20 bits. By next week that bag of apples that cost three bits would be around 80 bits. The government would have to mint more and more bits to help consumers afford these things, but that would also increase inflation because the value of bits would go down. Now that bag of apples that’s 80 bits would be 110 bits. By the end of the month what was originally a bag of apples at the value of three bits was now 340 bits. There’d be ponies pushing wheelbarrows of bits just to go buy some flowers. The one reason why unemployment wasn’t a problem, Jameson thought, was because of what was on their asses. Cutie Marks were the ultimate economic planner. An employee on Earth was always looking to get ahead of the game and find something they’d love to do. This would cause frictional unemployment because they’d hop from job to job finding something that had a right amount of pay and enjoyment. A Cutie Mark however, defined who a pony was. Instead of going on job hunts, a pony merely got their Cutie Mark and either went to get employed in that field of work, or started a business that related to that field. This ensured that a worker was always content and happy. Likewise, an employer on Earth had to search for someone who had the necessary skills needed for a position, and that could take months. But in Equestria, all you had to do was look at their ass to see if they were right for the job. No need for a long screening process or job training. But if unemployment wasn’t a problem, surely too much employment had to be. Everyone seemed to have a job. He never met a pony that didn’t have an occupation. Inflation didn’t go through the roof, JJ reasoned, because there was no competition in the job market. Once each pony found their talent, they only had one career path to go through. This meant employers didn’t have to raise wages to attract their employees, instead their employees came to them. This was a perfect capitalist society run by a perfect socialist population. He majored in Journalism, but he did minor in Business Management. Jameson once considered publishing his thoughts and perhaps making a book deal. He’d be the Adam Smith of Equestria. He decided against it when he remembered it’d attract undue attention upon him. Besides, literacy rates seemed to be woefully terrible here. JJ closely examined the wares of the merchants that were selling things to commemorate the event. There were the usual commodities of pins and buttons in various shapes of the sun, clothes such as scarves and hats with pictures of the sun, and some toys for the foals such as dolls in the shape of Celestia or spinning tops that had the moon on one side of it while the other side had the sun. Nothing real interesting to buy. He continued to browse the goods until something bumped into his side. To be more accurate, that something was more like a horn and the act of bumping was more like getting stabbed. A sharp pain ripped through him. The editor of the Daily Bugle jumped back in pain and grabbed the area affected. He started to rub at the sudden puncture he had when he looked at the assailant that attacked him. This pony had a purple coat that made her stand out in crowds instantly. Her mane was mostly a strange mixture of shade of blue with a dash of purple. There were pink highlights in it also. Her cutie mark looked like...fireworks? Diamonds? A nova? Whatever it was, it wasn't exactly clear what her talent was. Then Jameson found the weapon she assaulted him with. On top of her head rested a horn. It was the same color as her coat, some shade of purple. Nothing special about a unicorn having a horn. But using that horn for fencing was something new. The unicorn must have been looking down at her companion when he attacked him. While she stood out, but was otherwise unremarkable, her companion was anything but normal. It looked like an overgrown lizard on two legs. Maybe a baby version of a certain Lizard back in New York. Its skin was primarily the same color as the pony it was with, but its underbelly was a shade of light green. Two pointed fangs hung out of its mouth. On its head were what seemed like green fins that came out as waves? The fins came all the way down to its tails which had a pointed end. A set of ears were either hiding behind a set of fins, or those fins were his ears. All its limbs ended with a set of four claws. What stood out to Jameson however was that its massive green reptilian eyes took up most of its face. The purple pony was the first to speak; she raised her head and opened her mouth. “Oh, sorry” she stated bluntly as she continued on her way. She turned back to her companion and tried to continue on a conversation they were having earlier. “As I was saying, I still don’t think we have time for all of this. I need time to research more on the mare on the mo-” “Hey, stop right there!” Jameson yelled at them before they could get too far. Getting stabbed was bad enough, but getting shoved aside with hardly what could be called an apology was just an insult. JJ’s blood started to boil. The two stopped where they were and turned back to look at him. “Uhh, something I can help you with?” she said without any hint of interest. “Well first of all you could look where you’re going! You should put a cork on that sharp thing!” he said with anger. “Okay...” the purple one said, again without any hint of caring about what JJ had to say. Once again she tried to turn her back on him. “Wait! Damn it, when someone’s trying to talk to you, you should actually try and pretend you care what they’re saying!” he shouted. Pretending that he cared what came out of another beings mouth was an art he honed well. She turned back to him and replied. “Sorry, but I’m kind of busy, so if you don’t mind...” “Well I do mind! When you decide to assault someone with a deadly weapon, make sure you finish the job. Otherwise they’ll write you a strongly worded letter and force you to eat it!” he retorted back at her, “Gees, I already said I was sorry” she stated while rolling her eyes. Her companion got more and more worried as the two traded verbal blows. “Twilight, are you sure you want to treat him like this? He’s turning kind of...red” the little lizard said. Indeed, JJ’s head was starting to turn into deeper shades of red. The faintest sight of steam started to leak out of his ears. But instead of shouting the purple off of her, he calmed down and started to speak in a slightly agitated but calm tone. “Listen, Twilight, when you say sorry to someone, you mean it. It’s terrible to say sorry and not even mean it. When someone doesn’t say sorry, maybe they didn’t know what they did was wrong. But if someone does say sorry and they don’t put any significance in it, then they acknowledge what they did was wrong, but they just don’t care” he said. The two were stunned and looked at him. First this pony looked like he was going to maul them, but now he was giving them a lecture. Spike got out of his daze and started to approach JJ. “Spike, I don’t think that’s such a good idea...” Twilight warned him. The peeved didn’t seem dangerous, but he wasn’t harmless either. “Hi, my name’s Spike! And that’s Twilight Sparkle” he said while motioning over to the purple pony. He sported a welcoming grin. “Humph, Name’s Byline. I’m the editor-in-chief and one of the reporters for the Daily Bugle” he eyed the lizard with suspicion. Just because someone extended a hand in friendship didn’t mean that hand didn’t have a knife. In truth, he was the only reporter. None of the ponies in town had any interest in reporting news. He couldn’t blame them; the only competition in the entire town seemed to be a rag run by the local grade schoolers that ran feel good stories about local achievements. Not exactly a profession that was glamorized in town. “Nice to meet’cha Byline!” he said in that friendly tone of his. It was at this point that Twilight went over to the two of them. Her look of apathy was replaced with one that begged for forgiveness. She did a little bow before speaking. “Listen, I really am sorry that I poked you with my horn. I guess I was just so preoccupied talking with Spike, that I didn’t really pay attention to where I was going. I hope I didn’t hurt you too badly, Mr. Byline” she said with the utmost authenticity. JJ let out a sigh. What was done was done, and the only thing now was to bury the hatchet. “Yeah yeah, just don’t let it happen again” his look of anger shifted into his natural scowl. Then a curiosity overtook him. “So what were you two talking about that was so important that you neglected to see where you were charging with thing?” he questioned. Twilight and Spike let out a small laugh and Twilight answered his question. “Well you see, I was sent over by Princess Celestia to-” “Hold on a second, YOU’RE the star student of the Princess?!” he asked bewildered. “Yep she is!” spike interjected. Now this was a real shocker to Jameson. He assumed the pony sent over to oversee things would be a bit older. He understood that young people could do extraordinary things, but experience was still an important thing to have when in a leadership position. He also assumed the overseer would perhaps be a little more imposing. The two sent over by the Princess were simply adorable. The lizard was probably nothing more than a child, and the purple pony was awkward in an endearing way. Of course JJ wasn’t going to let them know he thought they were cute. “It’s nice to meet you, I guess. I guess. As you were saying?” he said, still curious as to what overtook their perception skills. “Well Princess Celestia put me in charge of the preparations for tonight’s Summer Sun Celebration. But I think there’s something bigger happening tonight!” she said with a tinge of worry and fear enveloping her. It was at this point that JJ really was interested. He could see the headline now: PRINCESS'S PRODIGY NEGLECTS DUTY, CHASES SHADOWS! It’d be a good story of how Twilight was charging at windmills with that horn of hers and putting the work on everyone else. Before he could write the story however, he’d need more information. “Really? And just would this big thing happen to be?” “I was reading this book back home in Canterlot, when I stumbled on something interesting. According to legend-” she started, but it was right at her last words that JJ stopped paying attention to what she was saying. One of the best ways to invalidate yourself was by saying the words “according to legend” without a hint of irony. No credible source ever used myth and legends as a foundation in an argument. Cold hard facts and evidence was what made a logical piece. Admittedly living in a land filled with real magic sort of gave some credibility to fantastic events and legends. But a prophecy? What a bunch of baloney. True, there was a bit of magic and occult in JJ’s own world, but he believed that everything had a logical explanation. Probably just smoke and mirrors. Now JJ had an entirely different headline in mind: STAR STUDENT DELUSIONAL, PURSUES FAIRY TALES! There was going on needless crusades, and there was chasing legends. He turned back to what frequency Twilight was broadcasting on. “-imprisoned on the moon. But she’s predicted to come back on thousandth year!” she finished saying. Twilight looked fearful, Spike looked skeptic, and JJ looked like he didn’t care. JJ put on somewhat a baneful smile for he finally had found news for tomorrow morning's edition of the Daily Bugle. “Well it really was great meeting you two. Just where did you find this fascinating information?” “A volume of Predictions and Prophecies this morning” Twilight replied. “Good luck with your...Endeavour, Twilight” he said as he started to trot off back to the office. His two new friends waved off as he left to the horizon. JJ was elated as he opened the door to the Daily Bugle building. It wasn’t like the office complex back home, but it all had to start from somewhere. The building itself was two stories. On the first floor was the official workplace of the Daily Bugle. The only things of note was a sturdy wooden desk that had a top writer sitting on top of it. That was where Jameson would gather his thoughts and see if anything notable had happen in Ponyville. In a separate room was the printing press that was used to produce all the copies of the newspaper. He’d copy down the sheet of the typewriter down to the movable print types and set them down on the printing press. From there he’d manually crank the machine to create the various pages of the newspaper. There was only one printing press, and there was only enough demand to warrant one printing press. On the second floor of the building was where JJ took residence. One room was a simple restroom with the needed things such as a toilet, and the things needed to bathe. The other room was his own bedroom that had a simple lamp, nightstand, mattress, and a shelf for any books he might have on hand. There was hardly a single personal effect he had within his own home. No pictures, no personal wardrobe, no nothing. He went over to the desk to start typing out the story that would appear in tomorrow's paper. He hadn’t felt this drive to write in quite a while, and it gave him a rush to finally be putting something meaningful up. After a bit of typing, he came up with his first draft. TWILIGHT SPARKLE: PRINCESS’S PRIZED PUPIL AND FAIRY TALE CAPER Byline, Editor-In-Chief Daily Bugle Ponyville- On the morning before the Summer Sun Celebration, a pony known as Twilight Sparkle was dispatched from Canterlot to supervise the preparations for the event. Twilight Sparkle is the star prodigies of the Princess Celestia, and it is assumed the process was a rigorous one to find the best of the best to learn from the Princess. Unfortunately, it would seem as though the process was too lenient. It was later found out that same day that the duties of supervising the celebration were not at the top of the list for her priorities. Instead, she wished to find a moment alone to read up on fairytales and folklore to find monsters to chase. She did not focus on the assignment assigned to her by Princess Celestia. She turned her back on the town of Ponyville to indulge in her own delusions. She disobeyed Princess Celestia to be afraid of her own shadow. Before departing for Ponyville, Ms. Sparkle found a dusty old volume entitled “Predictions and Prophecies”. The title alone should ring bells. Instead of casting it aside like any reasonable pony, she instead wasted time browsing through it. Then the musty old pages overtook her gullible mind and hypnotized her to seek out a figure from legend. A character from a colt and filly story. A personality that had apparently been trapped on a celestial body for a thousand years without any food or water. Someone who does not exist. While technically no law was broken, it is hoped that Twilight Sparkle will either reform or be replaced. It is made increasingly clear that if she does not take her duties seriously, then Princess Celestia would be wise to find someone else to fill her shoes. Perhaps she’ll be the one kicked off to the moon. JJ smiled to himself and subconsciously puffed an invisible cigar. He missed a lot of things back on Earth, but one held a special place in his heart. It brought him relief during stressful times and comfort when he was afraid to show how he really felt. Yes, what he really missed back on Earth was: His Son. Cigars came second. Jameson let out a small yawn and looked out the window. It was already night and ponies started to gather to town hall. A lot of which apparently were coming from the town library. Strange. Jameson got off his desk and began walking towards the door. He may have gotten his headline, but someone would still need to cover the Summer Sun Celebration itself. One article did not make an entire newspaper. Maybe if he was lucky he might be able to bag an interview with Mayor Mare, or if lady luck was really smiling, he’d get some time with Princess Celestia. Before he stepped out, Jameson decided to put on his hat. It was a celebration after all, and maybe wearing his hat would get the Princess to notice him for an interview. The thing was an Anthony Eden Hat. It was silk brimmed with a deep shade of brown. It had a black stripe running through it and he had attached a piece of paper with the words “Daily Bugle” printed boldly on it. It fit his head snugly and did its purpose of making him stand out in crowds of ponies. It also gave him a small dose of nostalgia every now and then whenever he remembered the days when he was chasing the next biggest scoop. After all, he wasn’t always an editor. Jameson trotted over to town hall and passed by various ponies. Usually they’d try and stop him for a conversation, but all were too busy to pay him any attention. The interior of town hall was well decorated with the streamers and confetti that Jameson observed earlier. The tables that were brought on were lined with an impressive array of apple pie, apple fritters, baked apples, apple strudel, and other apple byproducts. When the Apple Family was catering, you couldn’t afford to be picky. It looked like every pony in town was excited for what was to come. Everypony chatted amongst them and waited for the big moment to come. JJ wanted nothing more than to just get the whole thing done so he could start printing the papers. True, maybe something might actually happen, but the Princess herself was going to show up. Every precaution was taken for the event, and besides if anything serious was to occur, then the Princess could obviously take care of it, Nothing interesting was going to happen. Then the moment finally came. Mayor Mare spoke up from a stage. “Fillies and gentlecolts, as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!” she said as the crowd cheered. JJ simply had his look of annoyance. Political figures always wanted to give huge speeches so that they would be more memorable. “In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria...” Yep, he was right. “Princess Celestia!” the mayor said as the spotlights focused on a balcony where Rarity stood with a pair of curtains. The curtains parted and revealed the ruler of their land, the thing that gave them the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria...absolutely nothing. Now something interesting was happening.