//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 - Why We Do It, What It's Worth // Story: Happy Endings // by Taranth //------------------------------// Celestia smiled. Her lips pulled back widely into a rictus grin, her eyes narrowing, as she leaned forward, her mane flowing out around her and towards the ponies before her. The expression was truly as distant from any form of calm, serene expression as it was from the wicked grin of exultation she intended; instead, it simply looked like an exceptionally awkward grimace. Awkward was indeed the feeling it produced, as her audience stared with confused wide eyes, backing away slowly, truly having no idea how to deal with the strange sight before them. Concerned, she redoubled her attempt at the smile, moving forward to greet them. The ponies around her shied away, averting their eyes - not out of fear, but simply not wanting to look at the grotesque mask on the muzzle of one they knew they should respect. Finally Celestia could take it no more. "What is wrong, my little ponies?" She asked, turning back and forth, wings held wide in triumph. "Why do you hide your faces? This is a glorious time of celebration! Come, come!" She coaxed them, but none dared stare upon the Princess for more than a second, though several glanced back and forth between her and the statue behind her, as making a disbelieving comparison. "Somepony, please speak to me! What concerns you? The night is yet young!" As her perplexed frustration at the ponies before her grew, she noticed a tide of nudges and whispering making its way through the crowd, finally culminating in the young purple mare being pushed forward from the crowd, dressed in extravagant wizardly garb and hat, ringed with bells and with a false beard dangling below. She watched closely as Twilight Sparkle moved towards Celestia, holding forth a collected bag of candy, still averting her eyes. The young wizard looked like she was about to say something, but instead bit her lip, not trusting her words right now. But Celestia was thrilled. "Very good! Thank you ever so much, Ponyville! Let us all continue with the festivities - for this Nightmare Night, your town shall be the home of Celestia, Princess of the Night!" She reared up again, the black blotch marked with a crescent moon on her flank standing out starkly against her otherwise pristine gleaming white fur, the starscape of her mane causing a blotch of floating blue and black that simply clashed horribly with the rest of her form, less a contrast and more like someone had simply struck some sort of nebulous tentacled slime on her head. It had to be said, she looked a lot more imposing in the statue that stood behind her, in all its monochromatic glory. So cheered was she from the present that she did not see the ripple of cringes spread through the crowd as they realised that the offering had not, as the legends suggested, satisfied the strange princess and encouraged her to move on but instead had much the opposite effect. The ponies of Ponyville steeled themselves for a night of incredible awkwardness as they entertained the eccentric, incomprehensible Celestia, Princess of the Night, and her gargoyle grins. "CUT!" ~-~-~-~ "Cut, cut! This one barely counts." Discord turned up his snout at the window, sniffing over a monacle and snapping a clapboard together repeatedly. Celestia gave an affronted glare at the parody of herself and its horrific smile, which was quickly fading from the small window to be replaced with the static final image of Ponyville's celebration of Luna's return. Only a thousand years' experience kept her from laughing out loud at the absurdity of it, in truth, but that experience served her well this day as she turned to her companion. "Offended that one of your little twists ended up turning out better for me than it did for the original destiny?" "Better? Surely you jest. Even your precious student - or Luna's, in this case, I suppose - could not bear to look you in the muzzle. At least Luna got honest fear and respect! You could never pull off the Nightmare style." Discord framed her with his fingers, and she could see her own reflection in his eyes between them, dressed in the silver-black armour of Nightmare Moon - again, clashing entirely with her own colour scheme and looking far more ridiculous than intimidating. "Well then, I apologise that Luna and I have not been on many adventures in the past thousand years. She has been indisposed, and I have been spending more time guiding than adventuring myself. So I'm afraid all you'll manage is to see us trade embarrassments." Celestia smiled politely. "A trade in embarrassments! Now there is a standard I could get behind, or at least get my behind on." Discord grinned, twisting in on himself and switching his mismatched director's outfit for a green coat and fine-rimmed glasses, spinning a coin into the air with a flick of his tail, catching it with his back hoof and handing it to Celestia as he balanced on his antlers. "For every mortifying event, payment provided! What chance would the bit have?" "A most unstable economy, unsurprisingly enough." Celestia examined the coin, which - as Discord had implied - had an engraved print of his backside on the heads side, which seemed to follow the viewer as the coin was tilted back and forth. "And should we ever need to mint more, all we need do is invite the Elements to another Canterlot gathering. Though I shudder to ask how the coins might be produced?" Discord tapped his finger with his chin. "I had some ideas along those lines, but upon further consideration it might get a bit repetitive if the process of minting the coins leads to the creation of more coins..." "And what fun would there be if, upon coming up to a stall and finding one did not have sufficient funds, oh, how embarrassing! And then suddenly, the funds are produced? Too simple." Celestia teased. "Alas! Economics requires too much planning." He swooned dramatically, falling back further and further until he had flipped over and around his own body, when suddenly a blue aura surrounded him and twisted his movement a little further and up, then pulling, leaving his serpentine body in a solid knot. The two of them turned - Discord with some difficulty - to see Luna standing there, with a smile somewhere between forced and smug as she looked at the twisted draconequus. He smiled back winningly. "Lady Luna! Such a pleasure to see you here. Tell me, have you ever considered the effects of getting knots in an ethereal mane? I'm certainly willing to share." He tugged at his own body with his claws, trying to extract his body from the knot, while one of his hind legs pulled out a pipe, tucking it into his mouth and blowing out a stream of shimmering bubbles. "Oh, are you having trouble there? A knot of chaos would be a most difficult thing to undo, certainly - though I seem to remember reading a famous fable of a earth pony who earned a lordship by completing a such a challenge, separating a fiercely complicated knot that no unicorn could solve? Perhaps I could take a nugget of his sharp problem-solving intellect to assist you?" Luna's smile did not reach her eyes as she walked forward. "Perhaps knots are not the best thing for your mane, then. Have you considered using your sister's shampoo? It might give you a different outlook on life, if you could see through the pastel." He turned his muzzle to his tangled form, sticking the pipe between the layers of fur and blew hard. The knot suddenly expanded, leaving his body in a loop between Celestia and Luna, the centre of which held a shimmering layer of bubble. From Luna's side, it did nothing but distort the air slightly, but as Discord's head craned down beside Celestia on the far side, they both burst out laughing as the image showed Luna crowned with her sister's pastel mane and emblazoned with the matching bright yellow sun on her flank. Their laughter redoubled as Luna faltered, confusedly glancing at herself to try and determine what Discord had done, then stepped forward again, opening her mouth to demand an explanation. Discord was, as ever, too quick for her, reaching out a claw to shush her, causing her to shrink back from his touch. "Now now, none of that today. I can tell when I'm not wanted, and I think I'll find some more entertaining chaos in Ponyville today. You two have fun, and please don't get too boring without me!" He turned back to the bubble in the hoop of his body, blowing hard, and with an eye-melting twist of space the bubble blew out and expanded, his body flattening out into its surface like a reflection. The image gave a final wave as the bubble blew forward, popping against Luna's horn, leaving no trace the serpentine chaos lord had ever been there. Luna shook her head hard, reaching a wing forward to wipe off her horn with a look of disgust on her face, which only made Celestia chuckle harder. The younger sister shot a glare at the elder. "If I had imagined that I would come back from the moon to see you sharing a laugh with Discord..." A look of consternation came across her face. "Normally I would end such a thought with 'I would say Discord was on the loose again', which is admittedly entirely suitable but does not seem to have the right punch." "He has his moments, when he can be convinced to work for our benefit. And what we were doing involved imagery only, no ponies were hurt. Although our collective pride may have taken a blow." "But I gather from his statement that the plan you put together for Twilight is going ahead?" "Discord was more than willing to put together the story with me - although I will admit he may have made it a little more extreme than I would have liked. And..." She sighed. "And?" "I'm so close to never having to lie to Twilight again. But it's still so easy, to tell her about 'Starswirl's secret unfinished masterpiece'." Celestia's wings provided the air quotes. "And knowing she'd jump at the chance. After this story is complete and the coronation is over, I'll teach her that solar spell... and then I'm never lying to that mare again, if I can help it. I'm so sick of it, Luna!" "So that's it, then? There's no turning back now, the stories are going to be broken?" "...Not yet. It's stretched - I've walked the edge for a while now, trying to wrap up as many little happy endings as I can. But magic like this protects itself. There's always a way out, and it will always let us know it if we need it - although it may get more and more unpalatable as you get closer to your goal. To do so now... is not worth considering. That story would be dark indeed." She gave a look of distinct distaste. Luna nodded slowly and thoughtfully. "That much, I know. Though, of course, the light would always shine at the end." "Eventually, of course. Though it might take a thousand years." "A very specific and personal example, sister. But that was not what I was referring to - your choice is made, and you will not turn back." It wasn't a question. Celestia didn't turn, her eyes focused not on the window they faced but some middle-distance behind it. For a long moment she seemed to have not heard Luna, before finally turning, and smiling. "I've... I've been thinking. Too much, probably. About what it would mean to do this, but also... why I'm doing it. "I wish I could say I want to save Twilight, Shining, Cadance, and Spike - and I do, don't get me wrong. None of them should have to go through what the stories have in store for them, not them or their friends, or their sisters, or their town, or anyone in Equestria. But I've done worse, and let worse happen, and I know that in the end, it'll all turn out alright. It's not enough. "So I looked deeper, and maybe I'm doing it for Equestria. I thought, maybe it's time we all grew up, grew out of these little children's fairy tales with their happy endings, out into maturity. That I should consider that our little ponies are ready for a world where there are no guarantees, without the world itself sheltering them every step of the way. Can they really, truly grow up if their hooves are being held every step of the way? "Then I looked deeper, and began to get angry. Are they even really living their own lives? Or are they just being characters in the stories, every pony just a piece of coloured glass making up something larger? Do they even have any free will, or are the stories living them? What is it even worth, when every happy ending is coming not because of any choices they made, or acts they undertook, but because the story said so? Is Twilight Sparkle even a real pony, with real thoughts and dreams and friendships, or is she a story given form, a reflection of a stained glass window acting out a pre-ordained tale, with the only choices in her life being the ones I made as I guided her along her path? "And what about the others? How about the background ponies, the ones who never make it into the windows? Are they more free? Less? Do they have a purpose beyond being the setting, the observer, the sounding board, the interaction with the main characters? If the windows and the stories don't have a direct hold on their lives, does that make them free and real - or barely more alive than the houses they live in? Do they just exist for their own little stories when they need to, and then just act as the victims of the large one, the reason to fight for the real heroes?" Despite her words, she remained calm, the smile still on her face, as if she was discussing the quality of today's tea and biscuits rather than the potential futility of life. Luna moved closer to her, worry shining in her eyes. "Sister... you don't have to keep smiling. You said you were sick of lying. Please, if you're hurting, show it." Celestia shook her head, smiling softly as if to deny something, though Luna could not say what, and continued without answering. "But I've been doing this long enough to know that I was just trying to distract myself from the truth. I should have known it when I was talking before about the whole system moving up, as if somebody else would take over the job and we'd be able to live in the stories again. "I can say it's because I want to protect the ponies I love, because I think they should have a chance to carve their own way in the world instead of being puppeteered by the stories, but in the end, I'm just tired of this, Luna. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to lie to Twilight Sparkle, I don't want to guide the ponies I love against horrors, I don't want to be a god. "For a thousand years I did this, Luna. I watched and waited, I pulled strings and whispered words, watched as the ponies around me brought down villians and monsters, and saw them all get their happy endings. All of them, sometimes just one at a time, other times all of Equestria at once. And I waited, Luna, I waited a thousand years... a thousand years, and I told myself it would all be worth the wait, as soon as you came back and we could be together again, we'd be happy. The tale would be over, and I'd get my happy ending. I could stop smiling because everyone expected me to smile, and actually have someone I could really, truly smile and share with. "Me and my little sister, together, we could face anything. We could make the world a utopia, stop every problem before it starts, or at least support each other through the darkness where it happened. And I was so happy when you came back. When I could bring you in, explain everything, when we could be really, truly princesses together, Celestia and Luna..." Luna opened her mouth to speak again, but Celestia overruled her with a sad smile. "The truth, Luna. I'm tired of lying, and I've lied to you, even when I don't want to, and worse, when I don't need to. As long as this hall exists, I have to lie, whether by word or gesture or expression, and it's all I know how to do. I can't turn it off. I can't... I can't be the sister you deserve, and I can't open myself up to let you be the sister I need. "But right now, right here, I won't lie to you, and I'm sorry. It's not enough, Luna. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I've watched thousands of ponies, I've seen their happy endings, I know what they look like and you're back and it's wonderful, but this isn't a happy ending. This is just more of the same, and the big stories are coming hard and fast - you, Discord, Changelings, Sombra, Twilight - one after another, and they'll just keep happening, and even though you're here sometimes it feels like I'm more alone than ever. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm outside the stories. I don't get a happy ending. "And when I realised that, I thought - I should feel horrible. That's the reason I made the choice I did. Not saving my friends, not changing the world, but simple selfishness and jealousy. I'm changing the very nature of Equestria because I have the power and the desire to do so. "But I don't feel bad about it, Luna. I don't think I've felt this light and happy in centuries. For the first time since I lost you, I feel like I'm actually going to make a difference. I'm going to get my happy ending, Luna, even if the stories aren't there to support it. And it feels magnificent." She spread out and stretched her wings luxuriously, as if making the confession had removed a further physical load from them. After a long moment, the wings re-settled at her side. She turned to her sister once again, trying to gauge her reaction, but Luna's expression was as impassive and unreadable as Celestia's own gentle smile. "Knowing that, do you still stand by my decision, as you said you would?" Celestia asked, and though her tone was light, even she could not keep a slight note of worry from her voice. Luna blinked, looking caught for a moment, before refocusing on her sister and nodding firmly. "I will. We can stop the darkness of the current story, and it won't bring the other stories down on us... at least if Discord hasn't been actively sabotaging us... We don't know everything that will happen, but we'll make our way through. And I'll stand... by your side, and by all of Equestria." "The world will be a less magical place once this is done..." Celestia sighed. "But perhaps that's not entirely a bad thing. I wonder if Twilight will hate me..." "She won't." "And even if she does, we'll work it out." "Mmm." Luna turned, gazing down the long hall of stories. With the timing that comes only from narrative, a flash of magic echoed through the hall, a blast of harmonious energy amplified by the hall's own sensitive magic, and a blank window began clouding over, the colours and lines beginning to form a new image, centred around a purple mare. "The last story this hall will record." Celestia mused, watching the slowly developing image. "Go on. You'd better go wrap it up." Luna nudged her sister, with the same sad smile Celestia had been giving her for most of her speech. "She's waiting for you." Celestia laughed, heading towards the window. "You know what? I think I feel a song coming on. I haven't had the urge to sing anything since the night I lost you to the moon. I hope I remember how." She chuckled to herself, singing a few notes with perfect tone. Without looking back once at her sister, Celestia stepped into the fluctuating window, spreading her wings in the starry space between spaces beyond where mind and magic held greater power than mere reality, and moved towards the purple-coloured patch rapidly coalescing into the shape of a familiar mare, towards freedom, and her long-delayed happy ending. From the end of her muzzle, to the tips of her hooves, to the very depths of her soul... Celestia smiled.