Near Death Experience

by Hadles


Chapter 6

To Pinwheel, Rarity's Carousel Boutique looked like a wedding cake. The building was not only shaped like a fancy tiered cake, but decorated like one too. Striped purple columns surrounded the circular bottom floor while carved carousel ponies perched on the upper tiers. Intricate blue designs surrounded the massive windows. Even the roof sported a delicate pink check pattern. Pinwheel hated to think of the bits one had to sink into the house to get designs like that. Still, despite the unnecessary detail, it was an attractive building and one Pinwheel did not mind looking at. Despite the mixed colors and patterns, the design harmonized beautifully. Sauntering up the front walk, Pinwheel knocked the dark blue front door with her hoof. Just this morning, she'd woken to find a perfumed envelope sitting under her mail slot. 'Come to the Carousel Boutique later if you have time,' Rarity wrote in a fluid, elegant script, 'I have something I'd like to give you.'

It had been a good, solid week since Pinwheel last saw Pale Hoof. The haunting in her cottage vanished along with him. Pinwheel could only surmise he was the one causing them. Strange things tended to happen when he visited the mortal world – lights randomly going out, chilly winds from nowhere, spontaneously breaking glass. The perceived 'hauntings' were no doubt his doing, though they were probably unintentional. During their date, Pale Hoof had asked to visit Rarity's boutique, just out of curiosity. She lectured him thoroughly about his cloak, scolding his color and fabric choices before demanding he remove it. Pale Hoof did remove it, only to have Rarity continue scolding him about his face. 'Skulls are so tawdry! Not fashionable at all!', she said. Pinwheel could only guess the letter had something to do with that; outside of occasionally peering in the boutique windows, Pinwheel had never spoken to Rarity before the incident.

Rarity opened the door after a moment and ushered Pinwheel inside. The white unicorn frowned, her eyes downcast. "I see you didn't bring your coltfriend with you." She sighed.

"Coltfriend?" Pinwheel asked, "I don't have a coltfriend."

"Oh, you know! The tall gentlecolt with the grey pelt and the skull." Rarity responded, huffing, "I was hoping you'd bring him with you. I…wanted to apologize."

"Apologize for what?"

"Why, for what I said to him, darling! I know I must have come off as very insensitive." Rarity sighed, striding away from Pinwheel and rooting through a nearby chest. With her horn, she lifted and tossed aside rolls of fabric. "Oh! I feel just awful."

Pinwheel frowned. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

Rarity turned away from the chest, her ears down as she pouted at Pinwheel. "I honestly thought your friend's face was a mask. And when he took off that horrible tacky cloak, all I could think was 'what a gaudy mask he has on!' Honestly, wearing a mask like that during the summer? It's strange, don't you think? Anyway…Applejack told me a few days ago that it was a birth defect. I felt simply dreadful."

"It's fine. He wasn't upset."

"Oh, but I was." Rarity sighed dramatically, "I would never make fun of a pony with a birth defect. It's one thing to scold a pony with bad fashion sense; after all, fashion sense can be learned. But ponies like him can't help how they look. I understand why he was going around wearing that horrid tarp. It must be very difficult not to have a face. I was amazed he was even able to speak."

"It's fine, Miss Rarity. Really. Pale Hoof's not that sensitive."

"Even so, I'd like to offer an apology gift. If you could deliver it to him, I'd be very grateful." Her horn glowed as she lifted a folded cloak out of the trunk. She unfolded it in mid air, letting Pinwheel get a good look. The short black cloak shimmered softly in the light. Scrolling silver embroidery decorated the hem. Polished silver beads sat heavy on the tips of the drawstrings. An opaque mesh faceguard hung inside the hood, making it look more like a fencing mask than a simple cloak, "The faceguard can be removed as well…but I thought it was a nice addition. That way, dear Pale Hoof won't have to worry about his hood slipping and ponies seeing his poor face. It's much more fashionable than that tarp, don't you think?" With her telekinesis, she re-folded the cloak and presented it to Pinwheel.

Pinwheel took the folded cloak in her hooves. "Thank you, Rarity. It's beautiful. I'll be sure to give it to him."

"Do tell me what he thinks. I wanted to choose a brighter color, but I wasn't sure what he'd like. As a designer, I think he'd look fabulous in lavender but, well…most gentlecolts don't like lavender." Rarity smiled awkwardly, "Thank you for stopping by."

"It's no trouble." Pinwheel took the cloak in her teeth. Lowering her head, she bowed graciously to Rarity before turning and leaving. Upon stepping outside, Pinwheel sighed through her teeth. There was no telling where or when Pale Hoof would show up. He failed to specify where and when their next date would be. For all Pinwheel knew, he could show up randomly twenty years from now, demanding a date she'd forgotten she agreed to. Did immortal pony gods have a sense of time? Even so, it was a fine cloak. The silver scrollwork reminded Pinwheel a bit of Death's misty shadow cloak he wore in the realm between worlds. He'd like that.

Draping the cloak over her flank, Pinwheel started back for home. The day was growing old and a orange glow colored the sky. All day she'd spent writing, just writing. Twilight Sparkle's comments rung in her head. 'I want to read more.' Twilight said. Pale Hoof's words were even heavier, though. 'I WANT TO READ THE STORY YOU WROTE ABOUT ME.' Just the thought of those words stirred a mixture of emotions. Pinwheel felt flattered, happy, proud, but also self conscious and uncomfortable. She nearly regretted giving the story to Twilight. Pale Hoof would have never found out about it otherwise. Yet…wouldn't it be wonderful if he liked the story? Having your work praised by a god – there was no higher honor.

But Pale Hoof was gone now. All traces of his presence (except for Applejack's dead tree) had vanished with him. Pinwheel couldn't predict when he'd show up again.

The pinwheel garden rattled gently in the evening breeze. Pinwheel shouldered the screen door open and left the folded cloak on the kitchen table. Her notebook lay open in the study, her pencil abandoned by its side. Yawning, Pinwheel blinked sleepily in the darkened cottage. Wandering back into the kitchen, she set the teapot on the stove. As the orange sky turned to blue, Pinwheel saw something dark flash across her kitchen window. The shadow darted past, then vanished. An animal, probably.

After a few minutes, the teapot let out a scream. Pinwheel lifted it off the stove and poured herself a steaming cup. The tea warmed her bones; the cottage had suddenly grown cold. Once the cup was finished, Pinwheel set it in the sink for washing and headed for the bedroom. Her bedroom was simple and comfortable – a dresser, a wash table, a four poster bed with puffy blue sheets. Pinwheel crawled under the covers and was ready to fall asleep when something outside caught her eye.

Just outside her window waited a familiar face. The bleached horse skull and sightless eyes peered in at her through the glass. Jerking upright, Pinwheel stumbled out of bed and rushed to the window. With a grunt of effort, she pushed up the bottom pane and stuck her head out. "Pale Hoof?"

"HELLO." Pale Hoof answered. The bedroom window stood at least ten feet off the ground. Pinwheel looked down. Pale Hoof stood atop a stinking mound of freshly unearthed skeletons. The contents of Pinwheel's stomach rose into her throat. Covering her mouth, Pinwheel swallowed the bile and frowned up into Pale Hoof's eyeless face. "READY FOR OUR DATE?"

"You mean…right now?" Pinwheel blinked.

"YES."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Neck creaking, Pale Hoof looked around. The stars were just beginning to come out. "NIGHT TIME."

Pinwheel stared flatly at him. "Right. See, Pale Hoof, normal ponies are usually in bed by now." She sighed, rubbing her eyes with a hoof, "And you forgot to give yourself a face again."

"IF YOU NEED SLEEP, I CAN WAIT." Pale Hoof answered.

"So you're just going to wait outside my window while I sleep."

"YES."

Pinwheel closed her eyes in frustration. "Put those skeletons back in the ground. I'll meet you at the front door." With a wave of his hoof, the great pile of pony skeletons receded back into the earth. He turned and walked back toward the front porch. Wherever his hooves touched, he left patches of dead grass. Closing the window, Pinwheel hurried down the hall to the screen door. Pale Hoof scratched his hoof repeatedly against the screen. Sighing, Pinwheel pulled the handle with her teeth, "Come in."

Pale Hoof ducked his head as he entered. The lights flickered ominously. He wandered around the house, poking his head into the different rooms. Peering into the kitchen, he paused. The folded cloak still lay on the table, the silver embroidery flashing in the moonlight. "WHAT IS THAT?" He asked, his hooves clicking on the tile as he walked into the kitchen. He prodded the cloak with his hoof.

"A gift for you. Try it on." Pinwheel answered, standing in the doorway. Pale Hoof stared at her, then slipped the short black cloak on over his head. The fit was perfect. The opaque faceguard hid his skull head perfectly. Pinwheel could only see the vague silhouette of his snout through the mesh, "Well? Do you like it?"

"IT'S TIGHT."

"It looks good on you. Plus it hides your face well. Nopony will freak out when they see you."

"YOU DISLIKE MY FACE."

Pinwheel colored. "No…I mean, well, you have to admit, your face is a little weird."

"I WILL WEAR IT, THEN." There was a note of disappointment in his otherworldly voice. Pinwheel felt a pang of guilt.

"It…it was a gift from Rarity. So, you know, it's not that I want you to hide your face…but…" Pinwheel sighed, "I'm going to bed. You make yourself at home."

"HOME." Pale Hoof repeated curiously.

"Yeah, home. "


In the morning, Pale Hoof was still there. He was standing by the writing desk, leafing through Pinwheel's notebook. The cloak still hung around his tall shoulders, but the hood was down. Pinwheel walked into the study with two cups of tea held precariously in her teeth. She plunked out of the cups down next to the notebook. Pale Hoof glanced down at the cup. Slowly, he lowered his head and put his bony mouth to the rim. At his touch, the tea instantly went cold. When he sipped, it spilled through the open holes in his cheeks, leaving a brown stain on the carpet beneath him. "It's okay, I'll clean it up later." Pinwheel smiled at him, "Did you like my story?"

"I HEAR MANY STORIES FROM THE SPIRITS OF DEAD PONIES." Pale Hoof replied, delicately turning the page. Tea still dropped off his bony muzzle, leaving wet spots on the pages, "BUT I HAVE NEVER HEARD A STORY ABOUT ME. IT IS…CURIOUS."

"But did you like it?"

"YES."

Pinwheel beamed. "I'm so happy. I was thinking maybe if I finished it, Twilight could hook me up with a publisher in Canterlot. Wouldn't that be cool? You and I could go on book tours…" She paused, "I mean, if you have time. I know your job is…demanding."

"WE'LL SEE."

Still smiling, Pinwheel nodded. "All right, then. So what was it that you wanted to do today?" Before Pale Hoof could answer, there came a hollow knocking on the screen door. Pinwheel peered out into the hall. At the end of hall, a familiar pink pony smiled through the screen.

"Hi there!" The pink pony, none other than Pinkie Pie, chimed, pushing the door open with her nose. Pale Hoof peered around the corner, watching Pinkie from the study door, "Oh! Hey! Your coltfriend is here! That's super awesome great because I wanted to invite you guys to a PARTY! I always throw parties for new ponies and I know your friend is new because I've DEFINITELY never met him before and I know ALL the ponies in Ponyville!" Pinkie Pie spoke quickly without taking so much as a pause for breath. Pinwheel stared at the talkative pink pony, trying to take in her words. Pinkie Pie reached into her saddlebags and produced a pair of bright fuchsia invites. Pinwheel blinked at the invitations.

"Uh, he's not exactly new, but thanks!"

"Either way, I'd love to get to know him better! And a party is the perfect way to do it!" Pinkie giggled, "It's this afternoon, two o'clock sharp, at Sugarcube Corner! It won't be the same without you!"

Pinwheel glanced back at Pale Hoof, who said nothing. She nodded to Pinkie. "Okay, we'll be there. Sounds like fun."

"Super!" Pinwheel bounced as though she had springs in her hooves, "Remember, two o'clock sharp!" With a high pitched giggle, she passed the invites to Pinwheel and skipped off the porch. Pinwheel turned and walked into the study, setting the invitations down on the writing desk.

"Looks like we have something to do today after all." Pinwheel concluded, "Pinkie's parties are pretty good, I hear. It'll be fun."

"WILL THERE BE CHOCOLATE?"

"It's not a party without it."


If Carousel Boutique was a wedding cake, Sugarcube Corner was a gingerbread house. In fact, that was almost literally the case. The building looked edible. Its rooftops were modeled to look like cookies and the gutters looked like swirls of white frosting. Candy cane striped columns supported the gables. At the very top was a small loft fashioned to look like a cupcake. If the shop's appearance didn't get customers hungry, the heavenly smell of baked goods would. Aromas of fudge and soft cookies wafted out into the street, drawing ponies of all ages. Pinwheel took a great inhale as they approached the shop door. "Smells great, doesn't it, Pale Hoof?" She asked, looking up at the tall colt, "Wait…you can smell, right?"

"I POSSESS ALL FIVE SENSES." Pale Hoof answered. He wore his hood up, the faceguard covering his skull. His voice was just a bit muffled by the mask. Ponies still stared at him – he was unusually tall and the strange cloak drew attention – but no one was screaming or panicking. Pinwheel took that as a victory.

"Well, I guess if you've got your kind of power, you can look however you want." Pinwheel gestured to the shop door, "Shall we?"

Balloons and confetti exploded in their faces as they opened the door. "Ta-da!" Pinkie Pie giggled. The shop looked as though a party store had vomited inside. Streamers hung from the ceiling, balloons floated in every corner, and a huge spread of goodies covered the buffet table. Dozens of ponies, some Pinwheel didn't even know, crowded the small shop. "It's your 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! We've got cake and punch and games and fun and—!"

"It's great, Pinkie." Pinwheel smiled, but the crowd of ponies immediately made her nervous. In the tiny shop, it was almost impossible to avoid brushing up against somepony, "But…uh…awfully crowded."

Pinkie frowned. "I know. Applejack told me that your friend is kinda shy, but maybe this party will help!" She beamed, bouncing up to Pale Hoof. She stuck her hoof out to him. Pale Hoof jerked back, "Hey there! I'm Pinkie Pie! Put 'er there!"

"Uh…he can't touch anyone." Pinwheel explained. Pinkie lowered her hoof, "He's…he's got aphephobia. Real bad."

"Aphe-what now?" Pinkie blinked.

"It means he's afraid of being touched, Pinkie." Twilight appeared from the crowd, a full glass of punch floating magically beside her. She smiled sympathetically at Pale Hoof, "I heard about your birth defect. It sounds awful. I've never read about a pony born without a face. But…anyway, Rarity will be glad to see you're wearing the cloak she made."

"Thanks, girls. Would you let everyone at the party know not to get too close to Pale Hoof? He just really doesn't like other ponies touching him." Pinwheel explained, bowing her head to the two ponies. Twilight smiled.

"That's fine. Sometimes friends have special needs and we need to accommodate them. We'll do our best to make Pale Hoof comfortable." Twilight answered, gently tipping her glass toward him, "Welcome to Ponyville, Pale Hoof!"

Pinwheel smiled with relief. Hopefully, no one would die at this party. "You guys are really nice to do this for him. Isn't it nice, Pale Hoof?" Pinwheel looked up at her silent companion. He was busy gazing around the brightly decorated room. He lifted his hoof and took a step inside the room. Immediately, the lights flickered and went out for a moment. All the party ponies gasped in shock. A nearby punch bowl frosted over, then shattered. Pinkie Pie jumped in fright, then started laughing. Red punch poured over the table in tiny scarlet waterfalls.

"I'd better clean that up." Pinkie Pie giggled, bounding over the shop counter and retrieving a washcloth. Twilight smiled awkwardly, nodding to Pale Hoof before turning and vanishing back into the crowd. Pinwheel glared harshly at Pale Hoof.

"Could you not do that?" She whispered through gritted teeth.

"DO WHAT?"

"The spooky messing with the lights and freezing things and stuff! It's not funny right now!" Pinwheel hissed, "If everyone finds out who you are, they might run you out of town!"

"I CANNOT CONTROL IT. MY PRESENCE HAS AN ADVERSE AFFECT ON THIS WORLD." Pale Hoof answered. When he spoke, ponies all around the room turned to stare at him. Even when speaking quietly, his voice had an unearthly resonance that vibrated the very floorboards. Pinwheel colored and looked down. She reached up and tugged on the drawstring of Pale Hoof's hood, leading him over to the buffet table. Slowly, the party ponies resumed their normal conversation. Pinwheel exhaled. Going to a Pinkie Pie party with Pale Hoof seemed like a fun idea this morning, but Pinwheel hadn't known how many ponies Pinkie would invite. Practically the entire town was packed into the small shop space. Of course, they'd turn up for a Pinkie party no matter who it was for.

There at the buffet table, setting down a hot tray of apple brown betties, was Applejack. She turned sharply to look at Pale Hoof. "Hey! There ya are." She harrumphed, walking over to him, "Jus' what did ya'll do ta mah tree?" Pinwheel's stomach roiled with nervousness.

"He didn't do anything, I promise." Pinwheel stepped forward, "The tree was like that when we came to visit." The lies felt like hard lumps in her throat, but what else could she say? Nobody could know Pale Hoof was the living embodiment of Death. For one thing, it'd ruin the party. Who wanted to celebrate the arrival of Death? If anything, his presence was a thing to curse. Pinwheel knew he wasn't that bad, but the others didn't. They didn't have the luxury of spending a day getting to know him.

"Now, lookie here. Ah know ya'll got a birth defect an' Ah'm real sorry 'bout that, but that tree was healthy the night before ya'll came. Now Big Macintosh said it was jus' root rot, bu' Ah know root rot don't take hold that fast. That tree jus' started rottin' outta nowhere an' Ah wanna know why." Applejack insisted, jabbing the air with a hoof, "Ya'll best start explainin'."

"Really, there's nothing I can say, Applejack." Pinwheel pleaded, "It was like that when we came."

Applejack's green eyes narrowed. "Now listen. Trees are valuable. They take a long time ta grow an' flourish. If yer really certain the tree was rotten when ya came, well, I'll take yer word fer it. Bu' if you ain't bein' honest, yer robbin' the Apply Family o' some hard-earned dough."

"I'm being honest." Pinwheel vowed. Applejack frowned, but didn't press the issue. She walked around Pinwheel and Pale Hoof, eyeing them suspiciously as she vanished into the crowd. Pinwheel took a deep breath. Pale Hoof gazed at her curiously.

"WHY ARE YOU LYING FOR ME?" He asked quietly, softly enough to escape notice.

Pinwheel frowned at him over her shoulder. "I don't know how people will react when they find out who you really are. I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

"YOU THINK I AM DANGEROUS."

"You are! You kill everything you touch…" Pinwheel whispered hoarsely, "This isn't a good place to discuss it."

"DEATH IS PASSIVE. I DO NOT TAKE, I SIMPLY COLLECT."

"Who cares? You still scare people! No one wants to die!" Pinwheel hissed, "Please, Pale Hoof, let's talk about this some other time. We can't have ponies running you out of town with torches and pitchforks. That would REALLY ruin our date…"

"PINWHEEL. I SAY THIS BECAUSE IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE THE DATE IS ALREADY RUINED." Pale Hoof stated. Pinwheel blinked at him curiously, "YOU ARE NOT HAVING FUN. YOU ARE TOO BUSY WORRYING ABOUT HIDING ME. I CAME HERE AGAIN BECAUSE I WANTED TO HAVE FUN WITH YOU, BUT IT IS NO USE IF YOU ARE NOT ENJOYING YOURSELF."

Pinwheel lowered her head, frowning. "I just…I just want to have fun too, but it's hard since you're…well, you. And…I like you, but, Pale Hoof, I'm not sure it will work. I mean, the creepy stuff is funny sometimes. And I laughed a lot when you scared the ice cream vendor with your face, but…if everyone knew you were…you know…they might treat us differently."

"AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT? THESE PONIES WILL ALL BE DEAD SOON. THE ACTIONS OF MORTALS DO NOT MATTER TO ME."

Pinwheel gazed up at him, a frown tugging at the corner of her mouth. "So…my actions don't matter either?" She asked, voice small.

"NO."

Pale Hoof's answer struck her like a piano dropped from the sky. Pinwheel ducked her head, letting her yellow forelock fall in front of her eyes. "Fine, then. Do whatever you want." She growled bitterly, squeezing her eyes shut, "I thought we were friends!" Nearby, a few ponies paused in their conversation to look at them. Pinwheel could feel their eyes, but she didn't care. None of this mattered to him. He was a god, after all. All the ponies here were just tiny specks to him, including her. The first date, her agreement, this party – it was just a grain of sand in his endless hourglass of life. All the ponies were interchangeable. Pinwheel could be anyone – a unicorn, a pegasus, even a dragon. She didn't matter. She simply served her purpose as an excuse for him to visit the mortal realm.

"PINWHEEL. I DID NOT…" Pale Hoof lifted his faceguard to have a better look at her. Gasps sounded from all around the room. Lily, who was standing just a few feet away from them at the cake, shrieked and fainted. Pinwheel winced.

"It's…It's just a birth defect…!" Pinwheel explained weakly, turning to face the crowd of gawking party goers.

"NO. THIS FARCE ENDS HERE." Pale Hoof pulled the cloak over his head and cast it aside, "CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE. IN THIS REALM, I AM KNOWN AS PALE HOOF. BUT THAT IS NOT MY TRUE NAME. I AM DEATH, THE REAPER OF PONIES."

"Ah knew there was somethin' funny 'bout him!" Applejack declared from the corner. Pinwheel ducked, covering her head with her hooves.

"Oh Celestia!" Somepony in the crowd gasped, "Are we going to die?" Terrified whispers trembled through the crowd.

Pale Hoof stared sightlessly at the party guests. "NO. NOT TODAY." His proclamation did nothing to soothe the crowd. They watched him anxiously, slowly backing away from him, "I AM HERE ONLY TO OBSERVE YOUR MORTAL REALM."

Pinwheel peeked up at him over her hooves. What was he doing? Surely he saw the frightened expressions of the crowd. Nothing he could say would convince them. The appearance of the reaper meant death for those who saw him. Then, all of a sudden, someone in the crowd started laughing. Eyes turned toward the source of the laughter. There, in the throng of ponies, was Pinkie Pie, giggling like she'd just heard the funniest joke imaginable. She skipped lightly to the front, standing fearlessly beside Pale Hoof. He gazed down at her.

"I get it, Mister Pale Hoof!" She snickered, "You're just a big ol' softy!"

Pale Hoof glanced questioningly at Pinwheel. Pinwheel quickly rose to her feet. "Uh…yes! Yes. He's a softy. He's not going to hurt anyone. I know! I've been on two dates with him!"

Pinkie Pie laughed heartily. "See, everyone! He's harmless!"

Pinwheel grinned nervously. "Right. As long as you don't touch him."

Pinkie Pie grinned. "Sure! Would you like a piece of cake, Mister Pale Hoof?"

"He loves chocolate!" Pinwheel blurted, staring desperately at the ponies as if it were undeniable proof he was harmless.

"Well, that's super lucky, because I make the best chocolate cake around!" Still smiling, Pinkie bounced over to the chocolate cake at the buffet and cut Pale Hoof a hefty slice. Sliding it onto a plate, she set it down in front of him. Pale Hoof lowered his neck and took a bite.

"IT'S GOOD." He confirmed, swallowing. Chocolate colored his exposed teeth brown. At that, the party ponies seemed to relax. They whispered among themselves, gazing distrustfully at Pale Hoof, but no one was screaming. A few ponies rushed to assist Lily, fanning her and offering her water. Pinwheel's muscles unclenched. Creakily turning his head, Pale Hoof looked down at her. He pushed the chocolate cake over to her, "TRY THIS."

Pinwheel let out an anxious giggle. "Thanks, but…I'm not sure I want to eat after you."

"I'll cut you another piece!" Pinkie chirruped, bouncing back over to the cake.

Pinwheel sighed deeply, looking up at Pale Hoof. "We better go."

"Don't leave without your cake!" Pinkie called. Pinwheel picked up the plate with her teeth.

Pale Hoof retrieved his cloak from the floor. "AS YOU WISH."