//------------------------------// // Boast Busters // Story: Spike's Journal // by WorkingClassWriter //------------------------------// Spike's Journal Written by The39Ponies Edited by cwiis Boast Busters Dear Diary, Guess what? Twilight's not the only unicorn in Equestria with tons of magic. While we were going on a stroll to celebrate Twilight's twenty-fifth spell (it was a spell that gave somepony facial hair; I was her test subject, but she undid it before I could show off to Rarity), we spotted some kids fanboying over somepony who appeared to be a magician. So, we decided to check it out. They led us to a small stage set up where the local candy vendor used to be, which irked me. But I didn't have time to complain, 'cuz fireworks started going off out of nowhere. Which is kinda unoriginal, if you ask me. Why not use a pinata or something? That would make up for the lack of candy. Oh well, not everypony can be Pinkie Pie. The magician came onstage in a puff of smoke (seriously, is she trying to be cliché?) and introduced herself as "The Great and Powerful Trixie" (third person and all). Everypony else (with the exception of Twilight and friends) seemed impressed, but honestly, I wasn't too impressed. I mean really, what kind of a stage name is Trixie? It's short for Beatrice, which sounds more like the name of a long-lost love from a book series or something, not a magician. Anyway, she started boasting about her supposed accomplishments (because apparently doing magic alone wasn't enough to impress the crowd), such as vanquishing an Ursa Major. I'd only learned about species based on constellations earlier that afternoon and wasn't too well-versed on the subject, so I made a mental note to let Princess Luna (Princess Celestia's reformed sister, in case you don't remember) know that somepony was stealing her constellations and banishing them. The Sporty Duo (Applejack and Rainbow Dash) were also not that impressed. Trixie noticed and challenged them to a match of their special talents. Applejack tried doing some fancy rope tricks, and Rainbow Dash did some neat stunts with clouds. Trixie managed to outshine them both, though. The crowd ate it up even though she was only using basic levitation and telepathy spells. I'm surprised I was the only one who noticed. I mean, I'm not even a pony, let alone a unicorn. After that, Rarity decided to stand up to her as well. She put on a spectacular display, but Trixie fought back by swapping Rarity's beautiful hair with a green wig! I was enraged (and so was AJ's business partner Carrot Top, for some reason). I knew that the only pony with a similar level of magic was Twilight, so I tried to convince her to get up there and kick Trixie's obnoxious flank. Unfortunately, she thought that everypony would hate her if she went onstage and showcased her talents, since the crowd was slowly tiring of Trixie's showing-off. After lunch, I tried to spy on Trixie to see if I could find anything to use as leverage against her. Hey, you never know, her spells could have actually been invisible strings and swamp gas. But instead of seeing her plotting a nefarious scheme, I saw the two kids we bumped into earlier (Snips and Snails, or something to that effect) serving her. AS in "fetch this, fetch that, ask me questions and I'll refuse to answer" serving. What the hay?! Before stomping off, I told them to find proof that Trixie really vanquished an Ursa Major, 'cuz I wasn't buying it for a second. I really need to stop that Doubting Thomas attitude, because... well, let me put it this way. I asked the town ditzes to find proof that Trixie was capable of vanquishing a giant celestial bear. Naturally, they decided the best way to go about doing so was to bring one right into the middle of Ponyville Square. Genius. Actually, I shouldn't be too mad at them. This ended up benefiting us in two ways. One, Trixie finally confessed that she had made the story up (she claimed that vanquishing an Ursa Major was impossible), and two, Twilight actually ended up vanquishing it herself (by feeding it a water tower full of milk and levitating it somewhere into the Everfree Forest). Turns out it was only an Ursa Minor, which explains why she was able to get rid of it. Given how big it was, I'd hate to see an Ursa Major. As usual, everything turned out fine in the end. Nopony was mad at Twilight for showcasing her magic (seriously, she gets so paranoid sometimes), Trixie ended up fleeing the town due to shame, and I got my mustache back. Rarity didn't care much for it, probably 'cuz she was cranky due to having to wash her hair a hundred times or so to revert it back to purple (turns out the Not-So-Great and Powerful Beatrice's secret was invisible green hair spray). Today, I learned that if you want to get a mustache, convince your owner to feed a giant bear some cow milk out of a water tower. Unconventional, but it's guaranteed to work every time. -Spike P.S., Haven't received any word from Celestia about that magazine subscription I accidentally sent to her the other day. Maybe she got the message? __________________________________________________________________________________ Princess Celestia's Royal Diary *Luna, Do Not Read* Saturday - Received subscriptions to several magazine, including Horse Life and W.I.T.C.H.: The Most Magical Unicorns. Also received tax bills and confirmation of chariot licenses (note that none of this mail was mine) in the same delivery. The mail was dabbed with the royal perfume, which leads me to believe that whoever was responsible might have broken into my faithful student's home and taken it. They were all signed with Ivory Scroll's signature. I think it's time to do something to her town. There's a cave big enough for a full-grown dragon near it.