Chapter the Nineteenth, or “In Which Life Starts Again… Again”
I sigh in relief as I step into the brightly lit TARDIS. “Ok, now that we’re done with that, I have a few more questions to ask you.” I say to Sparkler.
She turns around with a smile. “What’s up?” she asks, all her past impatience apparently evaporating into thin air.
“Are you a Time Lord?” I ask bluntly.
She seems a little taken aback, but recovers quickly. “One of the last,” she says proudly, “Though I prefer the title ‘Time Lady’, or possibly ‘Time Mistress’!”
“Alright, next one,” I continue. “Has Fluttershy already come aboard?”
She gives me a wry grin. “Yes and no. Yes for me, because that’s in my past, but no for you, because it’s in your future!”
I chuckle at this. “Wibbly-wobbly…”
She gives me a strange look. “What was that?”
“Nothing,” I say, clearing my throat. “Now, last question: Who are you? I mean, to me, who are you?”
Her smile drops off her face. “I…can’t tell you,” she admits. “It’ll interfere with the timeline, and… well, a bunch of bad stuff could happen!”
“So you ARE someone significant to me, then?” I say with a grin.
Realizing what I just said, she becomes furious. “You know, you just HAVE to be a smart ass, don’t you?!” she yells at me. “You just CAN’T keep your stupid, crooked nose out of things you shouldn’t know, can’t you?!”
I stare at her, surprised yet again at her dramatic mood change. “Ok, THAT was uncalled for,” I say sulkily.
She lets out a deep breath. “Sorry, it’s just… I had to keep in a lot of feelings when we knew each other, and… Well, now I have trouble keeping any emotions under wraps!” She suddenly gives me a steely look. “But I’m not going to control one emotion I’m feeling now,” she says sternly, and without another word, she grabs me by the shirt collar and presses her lips to mine.
I simply take it, stunned by this girl’s unpredictability. Well shit, didn’t see THIS one coming.
She pulls away and gasps for air. “I always told myself I’d do that to you when I’d get the chance,” she says breathlessly, and she hugs me close. “It’s just been so long,” she says, choking up a little. “I’ve missed you so much…”
I awkwardly pat her on the back. “Uh… There, there?”
She pulls away and gives me a tearful smile. “Sorry,” she says sheepishly. “It’s just been a while since I’ve seen anyone familiar, and you’re… special to me.”
I give her a gentle smile. “Well, I didn’t mind it so much,” I admit.
She gives me a grin. “You better have not! I worked up the courage to do that for years!”
I raise my eyebrows. “Just exactly how long have you known me?”
She blushes and turns to the control console of the TARDIS. “Well, I guess I better leave you at your own time!” she says loudly. “TARDIS, activate sequence Alpha-5-Gamma-Victor!”
The TARDIS gives an obedient hum before stopping. I turn to her with a small smile. “So, this is good-bye?” I ask.
She nods. “For a few months, at least,” she grins. “At least, YOU won’t see me… But I’LL see you!”
I give her a look. “What do you mean by-“
“Spoilers!” she laughs, and she playfully shoves me out the TARDIS door.
I turn just in time to see the time machine slide in and out of reality before disappearing completely. I feel the air where it once stood, only to wave my hand around empty space. Ah well, at least I’ll see her sooner or later! I look around to see that I was in my own room. I wonder what time it is… I pull out my phone to see that she had left me three hours earlier than when I woke up. Well, good for you, Sparkler, I think sarcastically. I’ve got three hours of complete boredom ahead of me- Wait, what was that?
I was referring to a noise coming from Fluttershy’s room. I wait a little before hearing what’s clearly a female groan. [iOh shit, Fluttershy’s in trouble!], I think frantically. I grab my lamp from my bedside drawer and sneak over to the hall. “Anyone there?” I call out. “I’m warning you, I’m armed!”
Suddenly, a scream pierces the air. I panic and run to Fluttershy’s door. “DON’T WORRY, FLUTTERSHY, I’M COMING!!” I bellow as I attempt to break down the door.
The wood gives and I enter the room, looking around frantically for signs of danger. “Alright, punk, you’ve got ten seconds to come out or I swear to God, I’ll beat your head in with-SWEET GOD, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!”
What I saw was, if anything, worse than what I thought I’d see: Rarity and Big Mac, in the bed, looking like two deer in headlights. “Oh, um… Hello there, Darling!” Rarity smiles sheepishly.
When I realize what was going on, I feel my anger start to boil. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!”
Mac’s eyes widen. “Sebastian, Ah swear, we can explain-“
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” I snarl at him. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TWO!! BETRAYING FLUTTERSHY LIKE THIS!”
“No, Darling, see, it’s just a big misunderstanding!” pleads Rarity. “Just calm down and we’ll try to-“
“DON’T ‘DARLING’ ME, BABYLON!” I growl. “YOU’RE FLUTTERSHY’S BEST FRIEND, AND YOU CHEAT ON HER WITH HER BOYFRIEND?! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU-“
“SEBASTIAAAAAAN!!” yells a third voice behind me. I turn to find none other than Fluttershy, wearing fishnet tights, a leather corset, and apparently... nothing else.
I do a double take as I look at her. “Fluttershy?!” I ask incredulously. “What’s going on, and more importantly, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?!”
She gives a shy squeak and folds her arms over her chest defensively. “I’m sorry for yelling,” she says meekly. “It’s just… Well, Rarity and Big Mac were trying to explain, and you wouldn’t let them, so…”
I turn to Big Mac and Rarity, and then back to her. “You mean this is a-“
“Threesome?” finishes Rarity wryly. “Well, it WAS.”
“But then you came in, and I got scared, and you saw Mackie and Rarity together, and you just started to yell, and… It just all got mixed up,” concludes Fluttershy meekly. “I’m so sorry about all this…”
“No, no, it’s fine,” I say hurriedly, smiling weakly. I turn to the other two. “Oh, and sorry to you guys too, especially about the ‘Babylon’ comment.”
Rarity gives me a confused look. “Was there anything to be offended about?”
I pause before answering. “Uh… noooo…”
Rarity stares at me before continuing. “Well, now that we’ve got all the formalities out of the way, I think it’s safe to assume that we can continue?”
I snap out of my shock-induced stupor. “Right, so I’ll be going now-“
“Not so fast, Darling,” she smirks, patting a spot on the bed beside her. “We always have room for one more, you know...”
I look to Fluttershy incredulously. “She’s not serious, is she?” I ask, alarmed.
My roommate takes a deep breath and slowly uncovers her chest. “I mean, if you wouldn’t mind much,” she says, smiling shyly. “I would really like that... What about you, Mackie?”
Mac’s face clearly indicates that he did indeed mind a great deal, but he shrugs. “Ah guess so,” he says dejectedly.
I look to the two lovely women in the room. Well, it wouldn’t be SO bad, I think to myself.
Wait, yes it would be! I mean, come on man, Fluttershy?! What? Did the preschool run out of victims?!
Oh, come on, she’s not some angel or anything! I argue back. We both know the kinky shit she’s into. Case in point: SHE’S WEARING A FUCKING DOMINATRIX OUTFIT!!!
Still, man, it’s not right! Remember the show, man! Remember how mad you used to get at the idea of someone clopping to Fluttershy!
Ok, the show is over, and Fluttershy isn’t a cartoon anymore! Besides, SHE’S SOOOO HOT!
True… well, how about this? I try to defend against myself. You’ve got a thing with Applejack! How would she feel if she found out you had a foursome with her brother!
Well, she DID say no strings attached! Besides, technically speaking, you won’t be with her for more than 2 hours!
“Uh, Sebastian?” asks Fluttershy timidly. “Are you ok?”
I look up to see that everyone’s looking at me expectantly. Oh shit, they’re still here, I think.
No shit, Sherlock, I say back to myself mockingly.
Fluttershy takes the opportunity to cling to my arm. I look down to see she has her massive blue puppy eyes fixed on me. “You know, if this is too weird for you, you can leave,” she says quietly. “But it’ll make me very disappointed…”
C’mon, man, how can you say no to a face like that?! I ask myself incredulously.
Well… I guess you’re right…
Of course I’m right! I snap back at myself. I’m you, dumbass!
I sigh in defeat. “Damn these humanized ponies…” I mutter as I unbutton my shirt.
Thirty minutes later…
I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Congrats, Sebastian. You’ve officially hit rock bottom!
“Are we really rock bottom for you, Darling?” a sweet voice asks playfully.
I turn to find Rarity lying beside me with a smirk on her face. “How the hell did you know what I was thinking?!” I ask incredulously.
She gives me a chuckle. “It’s called a psychic bond, darling,” she explains as her hand creeps onto my chest. “We unicorns gain a mental link to the people we… copulate with. It normally lasts for a day or so.”
I raise my eyebrows. “So what am I thinking about now?” I ask. Tacos.
She giggles a little. “Tacos, I suppose.”
Damn it, I think to myself, but I shake my head and move on. “So can I read your mind?”
“I’m not completely sure,” she admits. “I’ve only had this with a few other people, I’m afraid.”
I snicker. “You know, I’ve never heard a girl say that she was afraid she’s only been with a few other people.”
Realizing what I was saying, she slaps me hard on the chest. “And to think, I was under the impression you were a gentleman!” she says sharply.
I chuckle a bit as I rub the painful red mark on my skin. “Oh, come on! You walked right into that one!”
With a huff, she turns her back to me. “Perhaps it would be best if you left me alone,” she says sulkily.
“Oh, come on Rarity!” I say playfully. “Isn’t a lady supposed to take jokes with humor and grace?”
She looks over to me warily. “True…”
I wrap my arms around her. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” I croon, running my hands down her sides. “I should have treated a lady of your caliber with more respect!”
She sighs and turns to me again. “Well, you certainly are a charmer,” she admits, wrapping my arms around me. Suddenly, her expression changes from on of fondness to one of curiousity and she smells my skin. “You smell like Applejack,” she states, almost as if the idea itself was confusing.
I balk at the conversation ahead. “Uh, no I don’t!” I say hurriedly.
“You do!” she exclaims, grin growing wider on her face. “You dog, you!”
“Not so loud!” I plead. “You think I want the big guy to hear that?”
“Too late,” a deep voice rumbles on my other side.