Dear Diary,
Something weird happened last night. And not like funny 'ha ha' weird either, but weird weird instead. You know what I mean? Oh, duh Diddy, of course you don't, you're a book. I sometimes forget that; I suppose because you're the only pony I feel like I can tell my secrets too. You're really real to me, it's like somepony or something else is reading what I'm writing as well.
Anyway, I left my room after the switch of the main guard (I know, clever right?) to go up to the palace and find the King. It only took a little bit of effort to sneak through the bars; it sometimes helps being as skinny as I am. No other pony could've got through them bars, but I'm not any other pony, I'm Diddy the Greatest Warrior in Equestrian history. I started singing some theme music quietly to myself like 'dow dow dow de dow de de dow' sort of thing. IT WAS AWESOME. I felt like some sort of secret agent or something from a play Daddy had taken me to see a year ago. Name's Bond, Dandelion Bond... 'dow dow dow de dow de de dow'. It was so much fun, but I didn't stay in one place for too long. I had to get up to see the King.
With my quick little legs and wicked lock picking skills (all I have to do is put my antler in a lock, turn my head a bit and it opens) it wasn't long before I'd made it into the palace gardens. That's when I heard barking, and hoofsteps charging towards me. Thinking quickly I dived behind a bush, as any sensible stallion would do...dow de dow de dow. Guards ran past without even seeing me. I couldn't be stopped, not by anypony.
Well, that's what I thought anyway. A clever Knight had come behind the bushes too, carrying some kind of object in a bag. Obviously he'd brought something to catch me in. Drat, I'd thought, and I'd lifted my arms up to surrender. And he payed no attention to me whatsoever. Didn't even seem to notice I was there at all, which was weird (though not as weird as the weird thing I'm going to tell you about soon). He soon pushed right past me in the dark and ran... the guards all came past so I ran for it too. There was no way I was going to get to see the King tonight, that Knight must've seen my face. He was probably going to turn back round and go tell on me soon. No, it was safer if I went back to my room and played innocent. I could do that easy-peasy milk and cheesy.
So I ran too. Ran all the way back, got through the fence...dow de dow de dow. And then I saw him again. The Knight had beaten me to it. He'd snuck down here to tell on me. I couldn't let him. I was doomed. Doomed to get into so much trouble, and Blankety would laugh at me and tell me 'I told you so,' which he did, so it would be even more annoying.
I don't know, I panicked. The first thing that popped into my head I did. I decided to go over to the stallion and look as meek as possible, then maybe he'd let me off with a warning. So I went over to him and he jumped out of his skin. It looked like he was going to hit the ceiling.
"Please sir," I said in my cutest voice, "I didn't mean to hurt nopony, would you pwease not tell them about it? Pwease!" I knew the lisp would seal the deal. He looked at me in shock. Oh no, maybe I'd said something wrong; maybe the lisp had come out like a snake and not cute at all. Oh chocolate and fudge, what was I going to do now?
There was a small whimper from the pack he was carrying. That was odd. I didn't know bags could talk. He sort of panicked like I had then. He shoved me over onto the floor and charged at me. That's when I panicked. It'd really hurt my chest when he'd hit me. And now he was going to hit me again... just like Mother used too. I shut my eyes in fear and then...
I opened them. Everything had gone quiet. The Knight was on the floor, knocked out cold. The whimpering started up again. What had I done? Had I-- had I killed this pony- another pony? No- anything but this again. I couldn't handle it, and when I heard hoofsteps running my way I ran for it to my room. Dow de dow--de-- No, I couldn't do it anymore. I was too scared. For that whole night I couldn't sleep. I could've run away but I didn't have a clue where to go. If I left I wouldn't have a home anymore. There was nothing I could do but face up to what I'd done. I was never going to find that filly; I didn't deserve the chance to see her again after what I'd done. Even though I hadn't a clue what I'd done anyway.
Next morning I was eating breakfast (and when I say 'eating' I mean 'falling asleep in') when a Knight came to get me. The King had summoned me to the Palace. Any other time I'd have been overjoyed, proud even, but now it seemed like the worst punishment possible.
That's when the weird thing came. The King-- King Alicorn-- thanked me. He thanked me. Apparently he 'owed me a debt of attitude', though I don't know why an attitude against me was a good thing. And now-- you'll never guess-- I'm moving. Into the palace. The King has some friends, a mare and stallion, that want to adopt me and care for me after what I'd done. It all happened so fast I could barely believe it. The Queen, hugged me? She really did. Kissing me for saving her so much pain-- I didn't have a clue what she was talking about.
So tomorrow I'm moving in. I still have to do lessons, but now I'll be doing them at the palace school. Which means I'll be leaving Blankety behind, but he and I are still allowed to see each other sometimes. We promised we'd be friends forever, and Lady Blankety has forgiven me since I'm such a brave hero (need I say-- dow de dow de dow de dow dow dow).
I'm moving on up to the castle-- moving on up-- King Dandelion is King of the Hill.
YAY! And now, to find my filly.