Chapter 15 The Fiddler
And this concludes a good weekend of writing.
I might be taking some time off next weekend to see Elliott, Graham, Michael, Cory, Grant, and Jacob so be prepared for fewer chapters next weekend. Then extra chapters next week. Yay!
-Van
We walked out into the hallway of the apartment flat in silence until she said "What were you doing with that mare?". I replied "Nothing. I just got drunk and slept over there". She smiled and said "Well that's great aside from the part of you having SEX with her!".
And from what was a peaceful conversation became an alarm clock for the entire flat in about three seconds. She continued "Why would you do that!?! Am I not good enough for you? Your trash you know that?!? Go to hell!". And hoofed me in the face to where I proceeded to pass out right on the floor while she teleported away with tears in her eyes.
The next thing I knew I was awake, but everything was black. So I assumed that I was awake in a dream while I'm sleeping. (Inception I think so). I look around and see that I'm in a place that looks like The End from minecraft minus all the endermen wandering around. I looked around and I saw three ponies just three wandering the barren plane just as I was.
I recognized all three of them the one on the left was Nico the asshole who pushed encouraged me to my doom using the "Magic of Friendship" excuse, Sir Buck Apple who was on the right was just standing there looking into the distance, and Firewall the pony dating Luna in another human in Equestria story was rubbing his head and looking like he took a severe beating from an abuse parent.
I approached and asked "Where are we?". Nico replied "We are in the place where Luna sends us when we piss her off. Dumbass".
I replied "Well I know why I'm here, but why are you three here. Hell, Buck I heard you were a great guy what happened?" he replied "Ah told her that her hips looked bigger in that fancy fluttery dress".
I pointed to Nico and asked "And you?". He said "Fucked her to hard". I replied "Nice bro". And held out my hoof for a Brohoof which he happily took.
I turned to Buck just about to ask if he got some, but then i decided to talk to Firewall I asked "Hey why are you here?". He said "I didn't do anything wrong just during one our playful fights she hit to hard".
I said "I feel you bro she tends do that a lot". I was just about to ask Nico more about his life with Luna until noticed that I was starting to deteriorate.
Nico said "Don't worry bro that's just what happens when you begin to wake up. No worries". I said "Cool, see you guys when we all happen to piss off Luna again". They replied "See ya bro".
And I melted back into the real world. Otherwise known as the hard unforgiving floor.
I woke up kind of like when in Call Of Duty where your vehicle is blown up where it's all blurry and you look down at your hands and slowly get up off the ground while that cool beeping sound thing plays. Though it seems like that it would take about five second to do this in game, but in reality it takes around five minutes and the lights above you aren't really helping you adjust from being knocked out for. Checks clock.
An hour and a half. Holy shit! I told Octavia I would be gone long"I wonder if she's worried about me?". I contemplated "Nah". I thought and walked back to the room that I was staying.
I walk back into the room to see everypony sitting on the couch with a worried look on their faces, except Octaiva who had a very obvious look of guilt on shame etched into her features.
I walk in to the room and say "Umm Hi". Grant said "Dude where have you been?".
Jacob continued "Yeah you've been gone for like an hour where the hell did you go?". I replied "Oh Luna took me into the hallway to talk about what I did then knocked me out. Any questions?".
Fredric began to say something until I facehoofed and said "That was rhetorical". And walked out to see if actual fresh air would help me think of a solution to my problem.
Then it hit me. Back at home there was always someone who could help me with my problems. His name was Michael or for short we all called him The Fiddler. He solved just about every problem I could throw at him back at home and he specializes in girl problems.
But how could I reach him? Xbox? Nope. Phone. Nope. What esle could there be? Just then Pinkie jumped out of nowhere and said "Oh here you can use my phone that I sometimes break the fourth wall with, and remember hit nine to open a portal to Equestria also that phone only has one portal left. Bye".
Then she proceeded to jump into the sky and disappear. "That was Fucking weird". I thought as I tried to remember The Fidder's number to dial into the reality breaking phone.
Three minutes and a mind purge later I retrieved his number from the very back of my mind to dial into that blasted phone. I carefully dialed him number and heard him say "Hello?".
I said "Hey Michael it Van". I just imagined his face on the other side of the line.
He said "Van? Where are you? Your alive? Where are you? Where you molested?". I said "None of that matters now. Wait molested? Never mind, but I need you to grab a frozen pizza, your phone and some skittles then walk back to your room.
Do not hang up your phone". He said "Alright". And gathered all his materials and came back to his phone and asked "Now what?". I hit Nine and said "Step forward".
The last thing I hear from the phone before a pony appears in front of me with a duffel bag of what I presume are the goodies was a long loud "FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU".