The Unusual Suspects
I situated myself behind the desk and offered the Lady Rarity a seat. The irony of being offered a seat in her own home was not lost on the Countess of Maresfield.
“Seriously, inspector.” She arched an eyebrow and fixed me with a bemused stare.
“Just, trying to… uh… keep things formal,” I replied with a weak grin.
“Mhmmm.” She looked me over appraisingly before proceeding to her seat. “Well if I am here to answer questions, I would like it if we began sooner rather than later.” I could almost feel the temperature of the room drop at the tone of her voice.
“Yes, well I suppose we should begin at the beginning. How did you know the deceased?”
“Is this really necessary?” Her voice retained the icy chill.
“Yes.” I replied flatly.
She heaved an over-dramatic sigh. “She was my house keeper; she came onto the staff around when I was married to Count Blueblood.” She paused, the slightest of frowns appearing on her lips. “Derpy and I became… close, I suppose is the proper word. She became my personal valet, and after my husband’s passing I kept her on.”
“Hmmm, yes your late husband. Remind me, how did he pass?” I attempted to feign a polite smile.
“Clearly somepony doesn’t read the society column of the Manehatten Times. He hung himself. It was rather ghastly I must say. In fact it was poor Derpy who found him.”
Despite her assumptions, I was an avid reader of the Manehatten times, and more over I was a cop. Everypony on the force knew there was more to that case than a simple suicide, but no one had the gall or the evidence to make any open accusations.
“Mhmm” I replied with a façade of disinterest. “That must have been tough, losing a spouse. After all I hear it was quite the storybook affair. You were a seamstress before your marriage, right? Going from career girl to Countess, guess there wasn’t a happily ever after.”
Rarity pursed her lips, “So you do read the society column. Well, I won’t insult you intelligence further by speaking well of that… stallion… He was troubled.” She shot me another of her icy glares, I could tell I wasn’t going to get much else out of as far as her marriage was concerned.
After an awkward silence I decided to be more direct. “I must ask, forgive me, but you wouldn’t have had any reason to harm Derpy would you?”
She widened her eyes at the accusation. “No of course not. I am not ashamed to admit it, I needed that mare, she was my only employee.”
“Did you know of anyone else here who might have wanted to hurt her?” I refrained from letting out an audible sigh at the question.
“Well…” She began. Of course she would implicate somepony else. It felt like a formality to ask. Very few ponies when suspected of a crime, in my experience at least, would really pass up the chance to throw suspicion from themselves.
“You know that Rainbow-maned pegasus, you may recognize her as the Rainbow Dash and well… She and Derpy exchanged some rather heated words this afternoon. Apparently Derpy may have been passing some idle gossip about the speedster, and Rainbow overheard. I was conversing with somepony else at the time but I think we could all hear the shouting.”
“Yes, well I suppose you should send her in next, but Lady Rarity, I have one final question: Why throw this little supper party?”
To this, the alabaster mare actually let out a tinkling little laugh at my question. “For a unicorn to ask that, oh my. I’m sorry but you must not be out in society much. It’s just one of those little things the nobility does. With land and wealth comes boredom.”
I couldn’t help but sigh. This is why I preferred staying in Manehatten, I never could get the hang of the nobility types. “Well, thank you for your assistance, if you could please send in Ms. Dash I would be most greatful.”
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“Okay, what did that prissy nag tell you? Why do you want to talk to me, eh!?” Rainbow Dash had exploded into the room with all the force of a hurricane.
“Please, Ms. Dash, I am questioning everypony, I’m not presuming your guilt.” I tried to keep my voice calm and controlled, hoping that the cyan speedster would return the favor.
The pegasus let out an audible grumble as she took the seat on the opposite end of the desk. “Look I’m sorry about that,” She said, forcing out the apology. Then her tone shifted. Was she scared? “I… I didn’t kill her, okay?”
I nodded. “Yes well, as I said I have to question everypony.”
She grumbled again and cast her gaze around the room, finally settling it on a collection of dusty crystal decanters still filled with an amber liquid. “Think that’s still good?” She said turning back to me while indicating the liquor with a forehoof.
“I don’t doubt it. I’ll get you a glass, I’m sure there must be one here somewhere…” I rummaged in one of the drawers of the desk. As I did I found my intended target, an ornate crystal tumbler, as well as something rather unexpected, a beautifully embellished diary. The first item I placed on the desk for Rainbow Dash, the second I made a mental note to look through after I was done with my interviews.
When I had once again emerged from the desk I saw that Rainbow had poured herself a generous measure of what I could only assume was whiskey. “Not half bad this stuff, want some?”
I politely raised my hoof by way of objection, “Sorry not while I’m on duty.”
“See that’s why people think cops are no fun.” She took a deep gulp of her drink.
“So, I hear you and the deceased got into a bit of a shouting match.” I tried to keep my tone light and casual to match hers.
“Yeah,” the rainbow-maned mare replied, “She had the nerve to call me Rainbow Crash while gossiping with that orange earth pony.” She sighed. “I got angry, I… I have a bit of a temper you know? But hey if that made me kill, half the tabloid offices in Equestria would be filled with corpses.”
I bobbed my head in understanding. “If you don’t mind me asking, what has gotten you so off your game lately?” The question was intrusive but I was hoping to test just how explosive her supposed temper was, but what I got instead was something I hadn’t expected.
Rainbow Dash sagged in her seat, nursing her whiskey as she avoided my eyes. “It’s the fans…” She said quietly. “They think they own you. I used to dream of being a stunt flier, best flier in all Equestria, that’s who I wanted to be. Nopony ever tells you how…tough… fame can be.” She paused for a moment. “I guess I just don’t care anymore,” came her conclusion.
I looked her over appraisingly. She was holding something back, I just wasn’t sure what. Honestly, I felt sorry for her. “Well I’m sure you can find some inspiration somewhere.” I said in an admittedly hokey attempt to comfort her.
“Heh, yeah.” Did she just blush? Probably just the whisky…
“Thanks… uh… Redeye, right?” She drained the last of her drink in one gulp. “You know for a cop you aren’t too bad, but if I hear a word of what I just said in the papers, you’re going to have me to deal with.”
I offered a smile, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“So am I free to go back and…uh… mingle?”
I thought it over, “Sure, just send somepony in next.”
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The pink earth pony eyed me from across the desk, “So inspector, what do you want with me?”
“Just a few questions,” I replied, my lips stretching once more into the familiar polite smile.
“Only if I can ask a few of you. Okie dokie?” She had a mischievous grin on her lips. I got the feeling I was not going to enjoy this game.
“Fine,” I replied flatly. “Have you ever had any contact with the deceased before tonight?”
“That’s an easy one. Nope.” Her grin widened. “Is there a Mrs. Redeye?”
I puffed out a sigh. “Nope, no Mrs. Redeye. My turn. Would you have any reason to harm the victim?”
“Who me? Never.” She then tapped her hoof on her chin as she thought of a question for me. “Ever done anything kinky with that horn?”
“No.” My reply came entirely too quickly, and the pink pony didn’t fail to notice. Pinkie Pie’s eyes narrowed and that mischievous grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Fine, I had a girlfriend in college, she was really into the whole horn thing, happy?”
“Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” She replied with a lusty chuckle. “I once hooked up with a unicorn, he would do things with his horn that made me blush. Me! And I have a pink coat!”
“Okay one last question,” I said, trying to cover my embarrassment with a business like demeanor. “All these parties that you go to, why?”
She frowned at me. “That’s a dumb question. It’s just what I do, it’s my life, or rather how I feel alive, I don’t know.” Her face suddenly brightened, “Hey that means I get one more question, right? So I saw how you were comforting the nun, and you guys spend holiday’s together right? So tell me, Have you been peeking at what’s under that habit?”
“No.” I said sternly, suppressing the briefest flashes of anger. She stared at me, her brow furrowing in frustration. I merely returned to my polite smile.
“Oh you are no fun at all.”
“You may go, send in someone else after you please.”
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“So you’re one of the Apples?”
“Applejack, middle child, to be specific.” Replied the Stetson wearing earth pony.
“Quite the business model your grandmother set up, I hear every apple in Equestria is an Apple Family apple.” I said with a grin.
“Yep, ol’ Granny Smith set up quite the money spinner. Personally I’d prefer to just have mah own little farm, buck all the apples mah-self, but you can’t argue with the money I suppose.” She shrugged her shoulders and let a wistful sigh escape her lips. She was a rich girl tired of the charmed life, but rather than get self-destructive all she seemed to want was an honest day’s work. Yet somehow she seemed to think this dream was out of reach.
“Sounds like that would be nice. What’s stopping you?” I asked earnestly.
“Well, that’s sorta why I’m here. Granny wanted to make sure the business stayed in the family, so the company bylaws only allow a family member to sell their shares if they can be bought in full.”
“So you were hoping the Countess might have the money to buy you out?” I supplied.
“Exactly, heck, we even had a contract drawn up.” She wrinkled her snout in disgust. “But she welshed on our deal, said she didn’t have the money anymore. Ah was this close to my dream.” She held her hooves an inch apart to accompany the aphorism. “Ah need every cent to start up mah own farm, ya see.” She sighed again, almost as if she hoped the breath would carry with it some of her anger.
“I’m sorry, I’m sure that isn’t easy.” I groaned, that once one cookie cutter response too many. “I’m also sorry for the greeting card condolence, when you’re a cop they come standard issue.”
She snorted, “Thanks for that.” She seemed to deflate a bit. “The Countess was my best shot…anyone else with that kind of money knows that the apple business ain’t what it used to be, we’ve had a couple of bad harvests. We ain’t exactly what you’d call a smart investment at the moment…”
“Sorry to hear it,” I said before shaking my head, another greetingcard. “I mean: That bites.”
“Sure does, sugarcube, sure does.”
I ran a hoof through my mane. “Alright, guess we should get down to brass tax, did you know the deceased before tonight?”
“Nope.” Came Applejack’s reply, short and simple.
“She rub you the wrong way?”
“Nope.” She replied a second time.
“Aright, I suppose that’s all for now. Thanks for your candor.” I said offering a weak smile. “Send in another pony on your way out if you could.”
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“Hey sis,” I said with a smile as Fluttershy came through the door, pulling out her chair for her with my magic.
“Hi Brighteyes,” She said returning the smile weakly. She was used to dealing with misery at the orphanage, but nothing as dark as seeing someone alive one minute and dead the next, bleeding on the floor.
She wasn’t my sister. Not really, but sometimes it sure felt like it. And to see her like this… well it hurt. It’s why I joined the force, well not to protect Fluttershy specifically, but to protect my family.
“I’m sorry we have to meet like this. I always liked to leave the job at the door when I came home.” My voice sounded to quiet even to me.
“It’s okay Brighteyes, I’m okay… I promise… I’m not afraid or anything. Just sad.” Her voice quivered slightly. She was uncomfortable, but was it the trauma of what just happened, or was it being here with me?
“I’m sorry for not visiting more often, the orphanage is my home, I should visit more.” I shook my head. Maybe I’m just projecting my own discomfort.
“I know your job is stressful. It’s okay, really.” She held out a hoof, seeking my own. I laid my hoof on hers and smiled softly. She had always been like this, even if she was scared or nervous, it never mattered if she saw someone else in need.
I suppose I should explain our relationship, just so you don’t get any weird ideas. I’m an orphan. Parents died before I could even make any memories of them. The Sisters of Celestia took me in, and like many of the others I never got a second chance at a family. So the Sisters and the other kids, they became my family. I became close to one pegasus in particular. Guess who? Yep, she’s my big sis, only about a year older, but I still like calling her that. I wasn't surprised when she dropped out of flight school to take orders in the Sisterhood; she always seemed the happiest when she had someone to care for and her feet on the ground, never saw her as a weather jockey. Though, I think I surprised her when I went to the police academy, I think she thought cops were only the rough and tumble types, not the head in a book type. We’ve kept in touch, holidays and all that, but I think I have been letting my work get the better of me. Maybe I need to reacquaint myself with the Pincesses…
Okay, crap, I was definitely projecting. Seeking forgiveness from a religious official, the department shrink would have a field day. “Ugh. Sorry sis. I should just get on with this, did you know the deceased?”
“No, I’m sorry. The poor mare…” She dropped her eyes to the desk. Her tone was tinged with guilt. Did she think she could have done something?
“And did you want to harm the deceased for any reason?”
“N- no, never!” She blurted out, shocked by the very thought.
I nodded and offered her a smile. “It’s okay, ‘Shy. I’m done now. Could you send in the last mare please.”
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“And so I was telling Pinkie about one of my plans for wetlands loss prevention. Honestly I don’t understand why she was so disinterested, Princess Celestia tells me it could save countless species from being placed on the endangered list, how is that not interesting?” Twilight concluded indignantly.
Privately I feel I may have to agree with Pinkie, but I felt for Twilight. I know how it can feel to have people not want to hear about your work. “And that’s about when the lights went out?”
“Mhmm, It was likely some magical or electrical disturbance caused by the storm. I heard some movement and then there was a scream, then lights came back on. Then Lady Rarity screamed out the house keeper’s name and we all saw the body.” She nodded, assured in the factual nature of her report.
“Okay, well I’m not going to waste my time asking whether or not you knew her, or wanted to harm her. I can tell you aren't hiding anything or lying.”
She raised a brow. Then she looked around the desk, her eyes seeking my flank. “What’s your cutie mark supposed to be again?”
I smiled, “It’s a lantern, and it is rather metaphorical, really. My talent is illuminating that which is hidden, specifically the truth. But it’s not really reliable, everyone hides things, everyone has secrets, and my talent is anything but specific. Essentially I’m just a bit more perceptive than the average pony”
“But I’m not, I’m an open book,” She said smiling, understanding dawning on her face. “Wow, even the nun?”
My smile briefly became a grimace of pain, “… Yeah even Fluttershy.”
“So you are telling me this, why?” She asked, but I could tell from the look in her eyes she already knew what I was about to say.
“I need your help.”