//------------------------------//
// That Moment When Private Pillow Talk, Isn't 
// Story: Awkward, But Worth It 
// by bahatumay 
//------------------------------//

	It was a quiet day out in Sweet Apple Acres. The birds were singing, the apples were growing, three fillies brainstormed new ideas for cutie marks, and all was right in the world. 

And no ponies felt more strongly about that fact than two mares sprawled on their backs in the upper hay loft of the barn. The two lay there, sweaty and panting from the previous exertion, both very tired yet supremely satisfied. 

Rainbow Dash was first to cool down from the afterglow. "I get better and better every time, huh?" she asked, giving Applejack a playful nudge. 

Applejack grinned. She rolled over, picked up a sprig of hay in her mouth, and slowly began to eat it. "Sure. We'll go with that." 

"You do that every time, did you know that?"

"Do what?"

"You always chew on a piece of wheat or something after we finish." Rainbow's voice dropped really low. "It's kindof cute, actually."

Applejack shrugged and swallowed the piece of hay. "I dunno what you're talking about."

"You just..." Rainbow shook her head. "Never mind. New subject."

Applejack nodded. "Lemme think... Ah think Apple Bloom has an admirer."

"That's messed up," Rainbow blurted. "She's just a filly."

"Hey now," Applejack protested. "She may be a blank flank still but she ain't a filly no more. Ah'd say she's pretty close to her first estrus."

Rainbow Dash shuddered. "No heat discussions. New subject."

Applejack thought. "This is just a rumor, you hear? Ah think Big Mac might have a lover."

Rainbow Dash groaned and threw her hooves up in the air as if defeated. "Dang," she grumbled. "Seems like everypony knows the secret."

"What secret?" Applejack asked. She knew nothing of any secret. "About Big Mac being in love?"

"No," Rainbow replied with a slightly twisted grin. "Earth ponies are great in the clouds, and I mean that in the most sexual way possible."

Applejack gave Rainbow another shove. "See how much you're laughing when Ah suddenly come down with an awful headache right before ya show up next time."

Rainbow nodded obediently and shifted back into the hay into what she hoped was a safe, unassuming position. "So, who's the lucky mare?" she asked.

"That's the thing," Applejack said slowly. "Ah don't think it's a mare."

Rainbow cocked her head. "Really? Didn't know he was into colts." She smirked. "That's a problem, considering how many mares want him."

Applejack briefly considered pointing out that Rainbow was much in the same boat--that there were quite a few stallions who would be more than happy to roll in the hay with her--but decided against stroking Rainbow's ego even more than she already had. "Ah don't know if he is, though," she clarified. "He just said he'd come out when we did when Ah asked him about his nighttime excursions."

Rainbow giggled. "More like sexcursions, amirite?" she asked, prodding Applejack playfully.

Applejack groaned and hit Rainbow on the shoulder. "Not funny."

“It’s a bit funny.”

“Sure. Whatever ya say.”

There was a bit of a pause. Rainbow stretched her wings. Applejack fiddled with her hat. Finally, she broke the silence. 

“It's possible. But it's just weird thinkin' of my brother like that, ya know?”

“Because I’m an only foal, I'm gonna say 'no'. You mean being in love?”

“No, with a colt. That's just... weird.” 

Rainbow Dash rolled over on her stomach and grinned at Applejack. “AJ? I don't know if you realize this, but you just did some really nasty things with another mare. My mare saliva is currently in your mouth. And all over your body. And some other places. And you enjoyed it.“

“Yeah, but that’s different. We're two mares. Two colts? That's just awkward.“

Rainbow didn't follow her logic, but she shrugged and rolled back over onto her back. “I guess they fit together better than two mares would. Toys optional for them, you know?"

Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Optional fer us, too. Ah was born a mare and a mare Ah'll stay. Why would you even bring that up? Whose side are you on, anyway?”

“Whichever side ends this conversation,” Rainbow countered. “Why are we even talking about this? Worst pillow talk ever, and that includes the time we discussed Scootaloo’s obsession with me.”

Applejack shuddered. That had been awkward. “I dunno. New subject."

Both lay there in silence for a while. Applejack mulled over what she had said. Finally, she spoke again. 

"Ah take that back. You know, Ah shouldn't care who he loves. If Big Mac is happy, so am Ah. If he likes to give it to another stallion, that's fine by me, and Ah have no right to judge him."

"But what if he likes to take it?"

Applejack tried to avoid that mental image. She almost succeeded. 

Almost.

"Rainbow!" she yelled, pressing her forehooves to her head, trying in vain to ward off that awful, scarring picture.

"Sorry! It's a legitimate question!"

Applejack groaned painfully. "You know what? No more pillow talk for a while."

Rainbow perked up. "Round four?"

"After that mental image?" Applejack hissed. "You'll get permission t' cuddle an' you'll be grateful for that much."

Rainbow accepted, resting her head on Applejack's chest and just enjoying her company. And maybe a bit of the way she smelled like earth and sweat. She trailed a hoof against Applejack's chest, drawing slow, lazy circles. 

It took a while before she spoke again. "Man, that was an awkward conversation," she said. 

"Yeah," Applejack agreed. "Almost as bad as our first try."

Rainbow dropped the hoof and narrowed her eyes. "New. Subject," she growled. It had been nearly four months since then, and she had yet to look back on that day without shuddering. 

Applejack laughed and gently ruffled Rainbow's mane. "Ah'm only teasin'. But yeah, the only way it could be worse is if Big Mac had heard us."

As one, both mares froze, sat up, and turned around, peering out over the edge of the hayloft to the ground below. Sure enough, there sat Big Mac, smiling broadly. 

"Eeyup," he said. 

Both slowly lay back down. Applejack put her hat over her face in shame. 

Big Mac silently walked through the barn, retrieved the hammer he was looking for, and walked out the door, shutting the barn door behind him. No sooner had it latched than they could hear his laughter ringing through the air, and he continued laughing until he was out of earshot and he probably laughed even longer than that. 

This was one time when it was just awkward and not worth it.

"You know," Rainbow said eventually, "It's times like these I wish I'd fallen in love with a pegasus."

Applejack wasn't sure if she should be offended or not, but before she could decide, Rainbow continued.

"After all, the second greatest thing about sex with a pegasus is being able to do it up in the clouds, where nopony else can see."

"And what's the first greatest thing?" Applejack wanted to know. 

Rainbow leaned over and gave Applejack a kiss on the lips. "Having sex with a pegasus! Duh!"

Ok. Maybe it was a little bit worth it. 

"Round four?"

"Round four."

Yeah. Definitely worth it.