Once Beyond the Gates

by Quill Scribe

Wants and Needs

Fire and ice ran through my nerves as I finished the spell to connect myself to the harness. I could practically feel every metallic feather and joint as though it were an extension of myself. It was both glorious and nerve-wracking.

Every day that I donned the harness it hurt less. I didn't even notice it on this day. I shook with anticipation on my walk through the school's hallways. I ignored the looks that my new addition to the harness got.

It's like they've never seen a pony build a pair of wings before.

I stepped out into the chilly fall air and shivered slightly. I got even more looks from passersby and shopkeepers as I trotted down the streets.

If I hadn't rushed out I could've brought my cloak.

I spotted my targets. A maroon pegasus, yellow unicorn, and plum earth pony were standing next to each other outside of a shop, their backs turned towards me. I made my way stealthily towards them until I was nearly upon them. With the sun at my back I turned my head to the side and spread my false wings wide, their metallic feathers rustling quietly, and magically magnified my voice.

"Who dares stand in the way of the solar princess!"

All three nearly leapt out of their skin. Long Shot whirled around with a reflexive salute. Berry dove behind a nearby barrel. Allie froze, staring at my winged and horned form profiled against the sun, her mouth hanging open.

I started laughing and fell over onto my back, holding my sides with my hooves and apparently fairly dexterous wings.

"You should see the looks on your faces!"

Allie was the first to come to her senses.

"Sigil! You've... got wings?" She said, wide eyed.

Long Shot walked over to me as I stood up from my laughing fit. He pulled one of my wings out to full extension and began inspecting it.

"Primaries, secondaries, all coverts, you really put a lot of detail into these. So, do they work?" He pondered out loud.

"Aren't they great! I really have no idea! Can you teach me so I can find out?"

"Teach you? Sigil, you aren't a pegasus, I don't know if that's a good idea." He frowned.

I rolled my eyes. "What's the worst that could happen? I fall from cloud level?"

"Among other things yeah!" His wings fluttered in frustration.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I can't die remember?"

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean you can't get hurt." His wings sagged slightly.

I really need to read up on pegasus emotional expressions.

"Why do you think I asked you to teach me? It's not like I'm going to just jump off a tower or something. I don't have the instincts you do."

He sighed in defeat, then his eyes lit up. "Alright, you win. We'll start next weekend though. Lets all have some fun today like we all planned."

Allie and I returned to our room later that night. The entire way home she kept looking at me like she wanted to talk about something. She kept opening her mouth and then snapping it shut. She even held up her hoof a few times to get my attention before stopping and looking away from me. Once we got inside and closed the door I turned to her.

"Allie, is something on your mind? You know you can talk to me, right? I mean we've been real friends for months now, not just roommates."

"Sorry Sigil," she said sheepishly, "It's just... You and Long Shot have been getting really close. I know sometimes mates forget about their friends when they get a special somepony, and I don't want that to happen with us."

"Allie, I'm not like that with Shotty. I'd never abandon my friends even if I was."

You keep telling yourself that... And 'Shotty'? Really?

She looked at me incredulously. "Siggy, I see how he looks at you. Berry sees it too, and don't think I haven't noticed that stuffed pegasus you've been sleeping with since the carnival."

I blushed in embarrassment. I was almost a grown mare after all, but I thought I had a pretty good reason. I levitated the plush into my forelegs as I sat on the bed. I looked down at it sadly.

"Hey Allie, do you remember when I told you about my mom?"

She started at the sudden shift in conversation. "Yeah, you were adopted by the Heartstrings right?"

I shook my head and smiled at the comforting toy. "No, while they were great parents and I loved them dearly, I'm talking about my real mom."

She'll always be my real mommy. Even if she wasn't really.

I looked wistfully out the window into the night sky. "I loved flying with her. I never felt closer to anypony than when I was with her in the air. She was the most important pony in the world, and they took her from me." I scowled darkly at nothing in particular.

Allie started to walk over to me and speak, but I held a hoof up to stop her. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. My expression softened.

"Long Shot must've remembered what I said about her when he was picking out a prize for me. Sure, maybe the colors are a little off, but its the thought that counts. It felt like he was saying to me, 'as long as I'm here, I'll help you get back what you've lost'."

Allie sat down next to me. "It sounds like you already know how he feels then, that makes this easier. I think you know how you feel too. The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

I lay down with my back to her and curled up with the plush. "I can't be with anypony like that, Allie. It especially wouldn't be fair for me to be with him. I don't have a heart to give. He deserves better."

A heavy thumping sounded throughout our dorm room. I grumbled loudly and covered my head with my pillow.

"Allie, can you get the door please?"

I heard her giggle and the door open. There was a clanking of metal.

"Excuse me miss, are you Sigil Silverlight?" A very formal sounding stallion inquired.

"Hey Siggy, I think you better get up," Allie said.

I grumbled, threw off my covers, sat up, and motioned with a hoof for the pony who had disturbed my sleep to come in. He looked at me quizzically, so I pointed at my wheelchair and the harness I had yet to put on.

"Forgive me if I don't get up to greet you."

The stallion walked into the room and placed an envelope sealed with the royal sun and moon crest onto my dresser.

"Good day ma'am," he said to Allie on his way out.

I levitated the envelope up to my eye level and stared at the seal. My heart raced in anticipation as I contemplated its contents.

"Sigil, what is it?"

"Hopefully the answer I was looking for," I said as I opened it.

"Dear Sigil Silverlight,

It is with great pride that I welcome the achievements of all of my little ponies. I will grant your requested audience to show me your interesting medical advances. Please find enclosed four invitations to the palace for you and your companions.

Princess Celestia"

I sat in silence for a moment. A stupid grin working its way across my face.

"An audience with the princess!? When?" Allie practically shouted.

"Two weeks," I said, "and I want you, Berry, and Long Shot to come with me."

I wonder how she knew to send four?

A week passed in a blink. The school was dead quiet save for the occasional student losing their cool and blowing up a lab, or simply running screaming down the hallway. Our final exams loomed just around the corner and these were stressful times, after all.

Long Shot had asked me to join him at a meadow just outside Canterlot for flight practice. I walked along the dirt path and saw him standing among the flowers in the clearing, looking up at the sky.

"Hey Shot!" I called out and pranced up to him happily.

He waved a hoof at me. "Hey Siggy, you seem upbeat today. Are you that excited to spend the day with me?"

I balked when he said that. I stumbled, tumbling head over rump, and landed on my back at his feet. He started laughing as he helped me up to my hooves.

That was really graceful.

I stuck my tongue out at him in annoyance. "Let's just get started."

"Okay, first thing you need to know is rhythm. You can't just flail those things around wildly."

I nodded at him and stretched out my false wings. I began to flap them, ending up doing exactly what he told me not to.

"Well that's not right. Try giving me a few flaps in unison."

I did as he asked. My left and right wing working their way up and down until I got the feel for moving them as one unit.

He nodded. "That's a little better. Now try to time it to your heartbeat. Once up and once down."

I frowned and closed my eyes in concentration. My wings beat up and down to the rhythm of my heart.

"Ok, now try time and a half, like a musical beat. You should get that easily from your family right?"

I nodded and did as he asked. I felt myself getting a little lighter.

"Alright, not bad. Now let's try to get you off the ground. Keep increasing the rhythm slowly until you feel yourself leave the ground."

I closed my eyes and beat my wings with a slow, strong rhythm. I could feel every feather of them faintly as the pegasus magic worked its way through my body. I felt lighter; freer than I ever had.

I opened my eyes; reveling in the feeling of flight. I was a foot or so off of the ground. It wasn't much of an accomplishment, but for a unicorn it was beyond doing the impossible. Sure we could conjure magical wings, but it wasn't the same feeling.

Long Shot smiled at me as I hovered in place, my face a canvas of pure joy.

"I really didn't expect you to get it this quickly Siggy."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Quickly? We've been at this all afternoon!"

"Okay, I didn't expect you to get this at all. Like I said, you aren't a pegasus. There are instincts you just don't have. Let's move on. Next you need to do the flight motion. It's kind of like rowing. You bring your wings up, move them forward, and bring them down while scooping the air."

I nodded and began the motion. I was doing so much at once that I started to feel overloaded mentally.

This is a lot harder than they make it look. I think I've got it though.

"I've got this. Let's move on to actually flying." I said, my brow furrowed in concentration.

He laughed. "Anxious huh? Alright, you need a feel for your wings and center of gravity. Try to use those to move and turn in the direction you want."

As the sun hung low in the sky I seemed to get the hang of it. I wore a joyous smile as Long Shot and I weaved and dove through the air. He pulled up next to me and motioned for me to slow down.

"Can you stand on clouds?" He asked.

"I think so. I mean I'm using pegasus magic so I don't see why not."

"There's something I want you to see then, follow me."

He took off towards cloud level. I followed closely behind until he slowed and landed on a cloud. I landed next to him, first testing the cloud for firmness gently with my hooves.

"So what's so great that you dragged me up here?" I cocked my head to the side quizzically.

He gave me a brief sidelong glance before pointing at the horizon. I turned to look. I pulled my goggles onto my forehead, ignoring the glare.

"Beautiful." I gasped.

The sun was setting behind Mount Canterlot with the city set into its side. The red and yellow hues shining off of the clouds and windows.

"Yes she is."

I snapped my head towards him. He was staring straight at me. A sweet smile graced his gentle features. There was a happy serenity to his expression. It wasn't the lusty look of a smitten pony. It was something else entirely.

I shrank in on myself, my ears drooped, and I began shifting nervously where I sat.

Oh no, Shotty. Please don't, I don't want to hurt you.

He must have noticed my reaction. He looked at me with sadness and disappointment in his eyes and turned his head to the sunset.

"I've got to say something Sigil. I might not get the chance later." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You're the most incredible pony I've ever met. You defend your friends from bullying and harm without hesitation. You have a strong sense of right and wrong. You're so brilliant I feel like a candle before the sun when I'm with you. You try to let us in even though its obvious how much pain you're feeling. Most of all though, I'm never happier than when I'm with you."

Each word was like a twisting knife in my gut. Everything I wanted to hear and yet I couldn't give him what he wanted. My eyes stung from the tears.

Turn him down.

"I'm sorry." I was barely able to choke it out.

He gave me a sad, understanding smile. "It's alright, I can accept it if you don't feel the same."

I shook my head violently side to side. I could have just left it at that, but he deserved better.

"It's not that, Shotty."

Make him understand.

"I have to go away somewhere soon. I might not come back, and I can't let you throw away your life by following me into the dark that's waiting for me."

He'd come anyway.

He looked like he was about to say something. I stamped a hoof down on the cloud.

"Some ponies took something from me, something important that I can never get back. I'm not how you see me. I'm not brave, kind, beautiful or any of those things you might think."

Let me show him.

I looked over at him, my eyes harder than stone. "All they've left of me is a ghost of vengeance. I have nothing left I can give you Long Shot."

I continued, softer this time. "I'm sorry, you're so important to me... I never meant to hurt you."

I flew off and didn't look back. I could hear the soft sobs of my best friend as I pulled away. Each one tore at me inside. I knew if I stopped even for a moment I'd turn back and stay there forever.

The morning light peeked through the window of our room. I hadn't seen or heard from Long Shot in nearly a week. I sat on my bed, sniffling softly as I held a letter up to the light. Allie must've been awake despite my attempts to be quiet.

"Sigil? Are you crying again?" She looked at me with concern in her eyes.

"He's gone Allie. There's unrest to the north border. They deployed him to the northern training camp near Stalliongrad."

She sat down next to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "He'll be alright. He's just a recruit after all. They won't make him fight."

I felt a little better. Just a little. A few days before, I had gotten the news that he'd been accepted into the guard.

I didn't realize that was the last thing he'd wanted me to hear before he left. Did I do the right thing?

Of course you did. We can't protect him on the path we walk.

Allie's voice brought my thoughts back to me. "Now we've got to get you cleaned up. We're meeting Berry at the station and we need you in tip top shape for your audience with the princess!"

We stood before the edifice of the castle entrance. Its tall, white walls towered over us. Berry and Allie exchanged uneasy glances as the guards checked us over.

I can't really blame them. It really is rather intimidating.

The guards nodded and led us down a hallway. I had opted to use my wheelchair once more. I wanted to make an impression the nobles wouldn't soon forget. I checked that my cloak was in place and my mane was still in its tight bun.

All set.

We were led into the throne room. It was a massive place. Marble columns lined the sides, and a carpet led up to the throne, where the goddess sat. Noble ponies lined the sides of the room, sipping on tea and chattering about useless things.

Celestia turned her attention towards us as we bowed in respect. She stared straight at me. For a moment I thought I saw a glimmer of sadness and recognition behind her smiling regal mask.

What was that about?

"Hello my little ponies, please come forward and tell me about what you've made that you believe will help the unfortunate of Equestria."

I smiled slyly. "I'll do better than just tell you. Please allow me to demonstrate for you, your highness."

My horn glowed softly as I activated the spell to bind myself to the harness. The gems glowed briefly. I grunted with minor discomfort and pushed myself out of the chair. There was murmuring throughout the room.

"First, we have the harness. A set of braces and gemstones that absorb and channel ambient earth pony magic to allow the lame to walk again."

A unicorn dressed in finery shook his blonde mane to the side and said, "is that all? For all we know you could walk just fine on your own."

I smiled a fake saccharine smile at him and then directed my attention to the princess.

"Perhaps your highness will recall that I've been bound to this chair for several years? We've met not once, but twice before."

Her next words put the upstart noble in his place.

"I remember you Sigil Silverlight. I read a story to a set of young foals at the hospital where you were in attendance. The second time was just after your test to enter my school."

Good, she neglected to mention that was right after I'd fallen ten stories.

"I'd appreciate it if Sigil could continue uninterrupted Prince Blueblood."

"Thank you your highness. The second thing I have for you is this."

I threw my cloak off and spread my false wings wide. Several nobles spit out their tea in surprise, much to Berry's and Allie's amusement.

"I give to every pegasus who lost their freedom the return of their wings. Not a prosthetic to attach to what's left, but true wings for ponies who've had theirs amputated completely, or were born with a deformity."

Celestia smiled widely. It was gratifying to see a look of real joy break through that mask.

"These are certainly wonderful gifts for your fellow ponies Sigil. Is there something you would like in return?" Celestia asked.

"Well your highness, there is something. I wouldn't normally ask, but I need bits to finish my own personal project. Ten thousand to be exact."

The princess nodded to a purple pony to her side. "See to it that Sigil gets her reward for her work. Sigil, please leave your research notes with him."

Success. Now we can finish the project and begin our hunt in earnest.

We started on our way out of the castle, but were stopped by a guard near the entrance.

He placed a book bound in paper in my bags. "The princess wished for you to have this."

We left the castle grounds and began our walk into the city proper.

"So what do you girls want to do tonight? Club? Bar?" Berry not so subtly suggested.

"That sounds nice Berry. Do you mind if I catch up with you later? I have a couple of errands to run." I said to my friends.

We separated and agreed to meet at Club Equestria later that night.

Great. DJ P0N3 again.

I continued into the marketplace to a certain shopkeeper who could get what I needed.

"Ah! If it isn't my favorite customer!" The rotund earth pony said.

I laughed a little. "Forge, every customer is your favorite."

"'Tis not a lie then, no?" Forge laughed a hearty laugh. "What can I get for you?"

"You know what, Forge... Star metal and gemstones. Finer quality than before."

"It will be very expensive. Difficult to get. I will need prepayment. Five thousand." He raised and eyebrow and waved a hoof nonchalantly.

I placed a bag of bits on the counter. "Five thousand bits, and not a single one more. I'll be back for my merchandise in a week."

I stood outside the nightclub pondering whether I really felt like going in. The horrid "music" thumped away inside.

"Sigil! Over here!" I heard somepony call my name from the line by the bouncer.

I trotted over to stand in line with Allie and Berry.

"You girls realize I'll probably only dance for a few songs and then sit down and read for a while like I always do, right?"

Berry nudged me. "Yeah but it's better than you moping around your room all the time. We miss spending time out with you."

I mock frowned at her. "I most certainly don't mope."

We approached the bouncer. He looked Berry and Allie up and down and let them pass, then he stood in front of me.

"Sorry miss, we're full up."

Yeah right.

I looked passed him to my friends. "You girls have fun, I'll meet up with you tomorrow, somewhere quieter."

I turned and began the long walk back to the dorms. I could have flown but its hard to read and fly, and I had a book hoof picked by the princess to read.

I floated the book before me as I walked. It was a brown book, adorned in gold with the head of a dragon. The sight of it made me stumble. This dragon head had a lion's mane.

Shaking, I opened the book. I found most of the pages bound together by magic. I was only able to open the book to two pages. The first was a very old, very detailed map of the area south of Canterlot. Specifically the area surrounding the Everfree forest. My eyes lingered on the castle that stood within the forest boundaries and the large dead patch at the forest center. Then they came to rest on the town nearby.

Ponyville. Why does that town keep coming up?

I turned to the next page that wasn't stuck together. What was written was a poem.

"Two goddesses of the cycle
One is loved, the other spiteful
A nightmare cast to the stars by the abuse
Eternity corrupted from Harmony's misuse
A millennium hence will the sister return
Disrupting the sun's celebration of peace
An old king's desire will incite the fires to burn
Of the stars that conspire for the beloved's release."

I nearly dropped the book in shock. I ran a quick calculation in my head.

Nightmare Moon isn't a fairytale, and she's coming back in three years. I can only assume somewhere near Ponyville.

Old king and beloved. Where have I heard that before?

My mind raced to connect more of the dots in my head. I frowned with a dark realization.

You've got all the answers you need, now what are we going to do with them?

The book burned away in a green flame. The ashes flying towards the castle. I stared after them at the throne room's window.

"Celestia... What game are you playing at?"

I was still frowning, my mind racing, when I arrived at my room. I paced back and forth for an hour. Finally, I flopped down on my bed, exhausted from the frustration. Almost immediately I heard a knocking at my door. I ignored it.

Calm down. Just calm down. In a week I'll have the final piece I need.

Maybe I'll make just one more thing.

I whipped out my sketchbook and began to put my inspiration onto paper. I ignored the knocking again.

When I'm done, maybe you can protect yourself Shotty.

I put away the sketchbook and removed my harness.

Maybe you won't need me anymore.

I lay in bed, clutching a stuffed pegasus desperately to my chest. I clenched my teeth and my eyes in frustration.

"Why am I so weak?"

I heard the door's hinges squeak open. Soft hoofsteps approached my bed, and I felt the weight of a pony sitting down next to where I lay.

"Please Allie, I know I'm being a foal. I just need to be alone for a little longer."

I felt a hoof gently brushing away my tears. I heard the lilting sounds of a harp. No, it was a lyre. I felt a pair of forelegs wrap around me.

A familiar voice from my past called out to me. A voice I'd never thought I'd hear again. "Oh, Siggy. I'm so sorry you were alone for so long. I tried and tried to write you, but you never wrote back. I missed you so much."

"L-Lyra? How? Why?I-I thought you hated me." I was so flustered that I could barely put together a sentence.

Her ears drooped. "Yeah Siggy, its me. I hope you can forgive me someday. I made a terrible mistake when our parents died. I should've never let go of you. I regretted it almost immediately. Can you ever forgive me?"

My response was to crush myself further into her embrace.

"As for how, well, I think you need to see this Siggy. Honestly I'm jealous. I wish I had somepony that cared about me this much."

She opened a letter, passed it to me, and said, "I think you should read this yourself."

"Dear Lyra Heartstrings,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. You don't know me, but I know a little about you. You have a younger sister in Canterlot who needs you, badly. She feels so broken that nothing will ever be right again. I believe she's got a beautiful heart though. She's my best friend. She lights up my night. Most of all she's hurting bad and she needs you. I hope you can help. Please tell her I'll see her after my tour is over.

Long Shot"

Lyra smiled at me, still stroking my mane. I rested my head on her lap. As I drifted off to sleep, I mumbled.

"You win Shotty... Thank you."