//------------------------------// // Delicious Ponies // Story: Attack of the Black and Red Alicorns OC's // by Good Christian Ethesto //------------------------------// The moon sat high in the night sky, floating through space without a care in the world and reflecting the sun's light rays off its crater-riddled surface. Far below it sat Canterlot's palace, home of Equestria's royalty. Usually seen as the hub of Equestrian activity, the palace was noticeably less busy as many of the palace slaves had gone home for the night and the day court was closed, meaning that the palace grounds were off limits to the general public. Even so, there was still one section of the palace that was alive with activity. In a large meeting room, usually used for entertaining nobles and diplomats, sat dozens of the most important ponies in the entire country. Celestia, with her crunchy and salty body, lay with her legs folded beneath her on a large, red pillow like an exquisite pretzel. Luna, on the other hand, was full of sugar and lay sprawled out on her pillow, making her more comparable to a tasty and nutritious gummy worm. She was currently too tired to care if she looked unprofessional sitting like that as she hadn't gotten any sleep in over a day. The only thing keeping her awake was the large amount of mountain dew in her system, so much so that it was very likely that there was more of that currently circulating through her veins than actual blood cells. Next to them, on smaller pillows, sat all the elements of harmony. Twilight Sparkle, who's a perfectly normal non-princess unicorn without even a single wing, sat noticeably close to Celestia's side, basking in her salty glory. She herself could be compared to a mass of bacon strips fastened together to look like a pony as she is the element of magic, and bacon, too, is magical. Directly next to her sat another glorious unicorn. This one could be compared to a chicken egg; a delicate white shell on the outside, and gooey on the inside. Her name was Rarity and she was the sexiest pony in all of Equestria. Her deep purple mane and tail were perfectly curled, and her eyelashes were extra long. Long eyelashes are considered sexy by pony standards. She was also the element of generosity because she gave a generous amount of blow jobs to all the desperate stallions living in Ponyville (and sometimes Canterlot when she visited). Unfortunately, next to her was a pair of pegasi, who don't even have horns like their glorious unicorn counterparts. One was Rainbow Dash who sat impatiently on her pillow like a colorful popsicle, melting in the sun. The other was Fluttershy who looked uncomfortable in the crowded room, like a french fry dropped in a McDonalds parking lot, hoping not to get noticed by any hungry birds. To her right was another pair of ponies, these ones having the audacity to be born with neither horn nor wings. Normally, filthy earth ponies such as them would never be let anywhere near the pristine and beautiful palace, but they were elements of harmony, so they were the exception. One who was aptly named Pinkie Pie was double pink and bounced excitedly on her pillow like a Mexican jumping bean. The other was named Applejack and she sat patiently on her own pillow, her crispy, orange fur reminiscent of a grilled tortilla. Her yellow mane flowed down her back like tasty, melted cheese and her massive eyes were a crisp green, the same color as lettuce. To top it all off was her meaty hide, making her look like a scrumptious taco. Across from them were all the important non-female ponies. Namely, prince Blueblood, a group of Celestia's advisors, and captain Original Character who took Shining Armor's place when he moved to the crystal kingdom. All around the room were even more ponies, who were important in one way or another, but not important enough to be described. To fill out the room were dozens of the palace's best and most trusted guards who each stood upright and stoic like an erect penis. a well-cooked hotdog. Now that everyone important present had been thoroughly described, the meeting could finally start. Celestia stood up and cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. "Alright. I'm sure those of you who weren't present in the palace earlier today are wondering why I called you all here at such a late hour, so I'll get right down to business. At approximately 12:30 pm, the castle was invaded by a red and black alicorn." She was instantly assaulted by surprised gasps from everyone in the room, and they all began murmuring amongst themselves. Before Celestia could continue, her prized student, Twilight Sparkle spoke up, saying what everyone in the room was thinking. "But, I thought you and princess Luna killed off all the black and red alicorns thousands of years ago. How could one have possibly visited the castle?" Celestia was quick to answer, knowing that if she let her student go on she would only incite panic with her crazy theories. "We thought they were all dead too, until earlier today." Unfortunately, it was too late. Twilight's brain meat was already packed to the brim with hundreds of insane theories. "Maybe it was a trick. Or maybe the red and black alicorn traveled forward in time to be annoying one final time before you spilled its blood." Celestia raised one hoof, instantly silencing her crazy apprentice. "We have already looked into both of those theories and many more, my faithful student. I would love to believe that what happened earlier wasn't real, that the red and black alicorns are truly all dead, but it appears that that's not the case. My sister and I both felt her magic quite clearly and she was very powerful." She began to pace as she continued explaining the situation. "The alicorn mentioned the Everfree forest when she visited, so we sent several groups of pegasi to scout out the entire forest from the air. Unfortunately, the groups we sent to the northwest, far from any of our towns, have yet to return. At this time we can only assume that she was telling the truth when she said there was an army of red and black alicorns as we simply don't have enough information." The room instantly went into an uproar. The idea of one annoying, overpowered, character-less red and black alicorn was bad enough, but a whole army of the things? That was the stuff of nightmares. "How can we possibly fight off an army of red and black alicorns?!" Shouted a random pony. "What will we do?!" "We're all doomed!" The last exclamation was made by prince Blueblood who held a hoof to his forehead in a dramatic pose that made even Rarity jealous of his acting skills. "SHUT UP!" Yelled Luna, using the royal canterlot voice. She was starting to get a headache and she definitely wasn't in the mood to listen to them all yelling. The room instantly went silent, knowing that it was best not to annoy the lunar princess any further lest she haunt their dreams out of spite. After a few moments, Celestia once again cleared her throat and continued. "What we are going to do is rally our forces and do whatever we can to defend against this threat as we have always done in the past. If they are northwest than they will surely attack horseington first. We'll set up defenses there and meet them head-on." "And if that doesn't work?" Questioned Blueblood, "What if our forces can't stop them?" Celestia let out a long sigh, anticipating this question. "If we can't beat them... I won't let them take Equestria... Anything is better than that." At the agreeing nods she got from every pony in the room, she continued her thought. "If it comes down to it, my sister and I are prepared to crash the moon into the planet. There's no way that we will possibly let those horrible things take over our fine country." The room was silent, no one saying anything on the matter. They all agreed that it would be better to just destroy everything than let the black and red alicorns win, but they hoped it wouldn't come to that. After a few minutes of contemplative silence, Twilight spoke up once again. "You can defeat them, though. I know you can. You did it before and I know you can do it again! Besides, we have the elements of harmony on our side." Her confidence spread to everyone in the room who looked to the princesses, intent on hearing their answers. With all eyes on her, Celestia smiled widely, using hundreds of years of experience to mask her own uncertainty on the matter. "Of course we can," she answered, "why couldn't we defeat them all again?" -- Celestia walked through the hall with her long, succulent legs, deep in thought. She wasn't in a particularly good mood as events from the last day kept playing through her head. Specifically, from just minutes ago at the meeting. Once the group had decided on what they were going to do, they had to discuss how they were going to do it. Unfortunately, like always, the conversation began focusing on how they were going to pay for new guards to be trained and all the other expenses involved. Equestria was already deep in debt, they didn't just have a surplus of money lying around. It soon became clear that they would have to make some major budget cuts if they were going to be able to fund anything. Then one of her advisors worked up the gal to suggest getting rid of her olympic-sized, melted-chocolate hot tub to save money. Needless to say, Celestia was outraged at such a thing. She nearly fired the advisor right there. Fired him out of a cannon and into the sun, that is. She turned to her younger sister who was walking by her side. "I've been leading this country for over a thousand years. I deserve my olympic-sized, melted-chocolate hot tub." Luna yawned loudly, subtly expressing that she was too tired to discuss such things at this time. Unfortunately, in her annoyed state, Celestia didn't catch on to this and continued talking. "I mean, I don't ask him to get rid of his stuff for budget cuts." Seeing that her sister wasn't simply going to drop the subject, Luna decided to speak up. "No one is more deserving of an olympic-sized, melted-chocolate hot tub than you." "Exactly!" Called out Celestia. "I'm glad someone sees that." Luna rolled her eyes, an action that went unnoticed in the dark corridor they were walking in. Now that the two of them were finally alone, though, they could discuss what was actually important. "You don't think we can actually kill the black and red alicorns." The statement caught Celestia slightly off guard, but she continued walking along anyway. "Of course not. Last time we had help. Not to mention we defeated them through trickery and sabotage. I'm afraid such tactics won't work against a suspecting enemy." "And the elements of harmony?" "Those won't do anything in this situation, you know that. We made them out of the life essence of the red and black alicorns to begin with. As such, it won't work against them. It will simply 'purify' them, much like it did to you when you were nightmare moon, and I don't think that'll be of much help in our current situation." Luna nodded, already knowing all of that but glad that it was explained anyway so the audience knew what was going on. "Then why did you lie about it back there? Perhaps if we explained everything they could have come up with a better plan." Celestia shook her head, disregarding that idea instantly. "If we told them that neither us nor the elements of harmony could stop them, our little ponies would lose hope. Without hope we don't stand a chance." Luna nodded, seeing her sister's logic. "I just HOPE you're right." Celestia stopped walking, and stared at her sister who had just made the worst attempt at a pun she had ever heard. She let out an annoyed sigh and massaged her forehead with a hoof. After such a stressful day, she was starting to get a bit of a headache. Perhaps a dip in her olympic-sized, melted-chocolate hot tub was just what she needed right now.