The day after the bout with Saxton Hale…
Somewhere in Mann's Land, two large vehicles zoomed down the wide road side by side. One of them was a midnight blue semi, whose compartment sides bore not only a few windows, but also an insignia of sorts consisting of a crescent moon tilted so that its tips were pointed upward. A narrow spire coming from the middle passed behind a cyan star in the middle. A pair of wings of the same color were at the sides of the crescent moon. In front of these words in "Generation B" "font" were the words "Luna's U████████ Nocturnal Alliance".
(A/N: Of course, it doesn't actually say that, but I couldn't figure out an appropriate "U" word.)
The other was a plain-colored trailer, the sort a family would use for cross-state trips, and on its sides was an insignia composed of two pair of wings, a blue-orange-red circle with a horn and a cyan star on top of it. The lower wings were orange, symbolizing daytime, while the ones in the middle had the same color as the star, reflecting nighttime. In front of these words in "Celestia Medium" "font" were the words "Equestria Union".
Suddenly, the trailer's window facing the semi's opened and a certain book was tossed out of it, entering the semi's and conking somepony on the head.
Inside the EqU trailer, Twilight Sparkle—who had thrown out that book—was fuming with rage, fortunately not to the point where her hair would turn into fire. Thankfully, it didn't catch everypony's attention as the vehicle had been modified to have the same bigger-on-the-inside properties as the LUNA semi, so the outcry didn't reach everypony else's new rooms.
"I liked that book!", complained Jothicu, who had lent it to her when she asked curiously.
Rarity was there as well, hearing the argument and having skimmed it once before before giving up in disgust. "How could you like such…such…", she replied, unable to say the words.
"Hey, everybody's entitled to their opinion, okay? I have a thing for vampires, you know."
"But other than a desire for blood, being able to turn others into their own kind, being physically better than a normal pony or person, and a very long life, they're not vampires!", the bookworm retorted.
"Those are pretty much textbook definitions of vampires, Twilight." Jothicu then thought to himself, "Wait, there are vampires in Equestria?"
"But they don't have any telltale signs apart from paleness, or any weaknesses to fire, silver, garlic, or even sunlight. And the fact that they sparkle…Arrrgh!" Jothicu was about to make a quip when he was cut off. "And I get that my name reminds you of the book, so don't even think about it!"
Just then, Blue Diary popped his head out of the semi's window, his bedroom having been there. He then pulled out the book that was thrown and tossed it back through the trailer's window. This caught the attention of EqU's medical researcher, Sniper, and Spy. "Could you please keep it down? It's noon right now, and I need to get my rest."
"Hey, who's that up ahead?", wondered Tasic as he drove the trailer, his voice heard through the internal PA system.
Inside the semi itself, between the driver's and passenger's seat (where Tony and Joey were seated respectively), a door between it and the cargo box behind opened and Blue walked out to see what his fellow members were seeing. Jothicu refrained Twilight from peeking out as they didn't want to expose the ponies to anybody else other than just Mann Co.
In the middle of the road was a lone figure in a ratty black cape. As they approached, they could see that the man looked old, scrawny, and wore the skull of a demonic ram-like monster (if not an actual ram) on his head. As they slowly approached him, they also saw he was also dressed in blackish blue sleeveless robes and long boots. On his right hand was a crooked wooden staff that seemed to have something keeping it together around the middle.
This man then made a gesture as if directing the drivers to stop. Deciding it would be rude to ignore him, both Tasic and Tony complied, slowing their vehicles to a stop. Once they did, the drivers took a better look at the man. From what could see, he also had something like a messenger's bag colored like his robe that was slung across his chest, two dead fish on his belt, and that the staff was held together by duct tape.
"Umm…can we help you, sir?", Joey asked as he poked his head out of the window. Just in case, Blue backed off so as not to be seen.
"I…am…Merasmus!", the man unfurled his cape in a dramatic manner.
If there were crickets around, they would've started chirping. Somewhere inside the EqU trailer, a cricket brought along by Pinkie Pie chirped, although only she noticed it.
"…Okay.", responded the LUNA medical researcher.
"I sense…powerful magic inside your transports."
"And…"
"I wish to see them."
"And what gives you the right to do that?"
In response, Merasmus aimed his staff and it began to glow in an eerie green aura.
"Crap." Neither Joey nor Tony had any weapons on them at the moment and they berated themselves for forgetting.
Just then, Trixie Lulamoon (without her hat and cape) walked through the door between the compartment and the semi, rubbing off eye bags and letting out a yawn. "I thought you said there were no other sources of magic in this world other than—"
"BAZBO BADARBA!", Merasmus incanted, then fired a bolt of energy—at the EqU trailer. Tasic was caught off guard from this as the green aura engulfed the entire vehicle. Sensing the magic, Twilight instinctively attempted to counteract it, but the spell was too strong and too fast. All of a sudden, there was a flash of light that engulfed the entire trailer, also waking up everybody inside it, before it faded, leaving Merasmus and the LUNA semi in the middle of the road.
There was a few moments of silence before somebody spoke up. It was Tony. "What the hell did you just do?!", he demanded.
"I sent them to the past, where I also sent the RED Team, and where—" He stopped short upon seeing Trixie and Blue look through the windshield, then gave a smirk. "I see. So that's where it's coming from."
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
The EqU trailer emerged in a flash of green light. With the flash having awoken everyone, most of them exited the trailer to take a look at their surroundings. From what Tasic could deduce as he got out of the trailer, they were in what seemed to be a small camp surrounded by palisade walls. Behind the camp was an archery range and a path leading into the forest behind it. Upon exiting the camp, the EqU members could see a large stone castle a short distance away. It wasn't nearly as elegant as Canterlot Castle or what the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters would've been like, but impressive regardless.
Next to the castle was a town that reminded the Equestrians of Ponyville, although the roofs weren't made of thatch but of tile. They also noticed that a green force field surrounded the EqU trailer and the immediate area.
"Where is this place?", Twilight wondered as they passed the barrier without any hitch, soon cresting the hill up ahead and seeing the castle's gates. There was a tree, fence, and large rock at the brow of the hill they were on. There were also two flaming braziers in sight.
Before she could be answered, a familiar voice called out to them. "Hello, Frauleins!" They all turned to see the RED Medic standing on one of the castle's battlements, waving at them in the distance. They could see that he was wearing a slightly worn gray and red sallet helmet, with a cross-shaped eye slit, the Berliner's Bucket Helm, which was available in the Customizer. Luckily, he could only see the ponies and the baby dragon; Tasic was hidden in the 'camp'.
"Oi! What's goin' on, mate?!", another voice came. The RED Sniper came into view, wearing the Larrikin Robin on his head.
"We have company.", the Medic replied as he pointed at the trailer and the ponies near it.
"Well, I'll be…" He then turned around and yelled, "Hey, mates! We got company!"
In seconds, the entire RED Team came into view, some of them wearing hats that seemed to be themed to their surroundings, although one did look a bit out of place. The Soldier wore a helmet similar to what pegasi from times of old have worn, though it was gold and the crest was red, the Defiant Spartan hat. The Pyro had a cracked skull (that reminded the Equestrians sans Derpy of a full grown dragon's) missing its jawbone and the right horn, covering the front of his gas mask, the Pyromancer's Mask. The Heavy had the Magnificent Mongolian, a fur-lined red winter hat with a beige central apex, simple design, and a back flap. The Scout had no hat at all, revealing a buzz cut. The Engineer had in place of his hardhat a long, blonde mullet wig called Big Country. As for the Demoman, he wore a gold royal crown embedded with rubies.
With the exception of the Sniper, who had the Huntsman, none of the REDs wielded any of their guns.
"May I welcome ya all to DeGroot Keep.", the RED Demoman called as he brandished the Eyelander. "It looks like ye art sent here by Merasmus the Magician, aye?"
Chronicle decided to humor them and requested Pinkie for a megaphone, which she indeed happened to have. He then 'put' it over his mouth and called back, "And if we are?"
"Then thou art here to do battle with us, what sayeth thee?"
"Is it just me, or is the RED Demoman speaking like Princess Luna?", Twilight wondered to herself.
"Do we have a choice in the matter?", replied her bodyguard to the RED Demoman, ignoring his charge.
"Nay, I say! And whilst thou art here, there will be no totin' of any guns!"
"And why, might I ask?"
"'Cause we are in the 10th century, pardner!", the RED Engineer answered. "There ain't no tellin' what time paradoxes or butterfly effects we might cause!" He was promptly smacked by his black teammate, who then gave a seething reminder on how they were supposed to speak.
"10th century?", asked Spike.
"He means Merasmus sent us into the past of this world.", Tasic said as he crept up to the Equestrians, keeping himself out of the RED team's view. "We're supposed to be in this world's 20th century."
"We shall do battle at midday.", the Demoman said. "Highlander match!"
"Highlander match?", parroted the EqU Heavy.
"It means just the nine of us against the nine of ye. No duplicates, ya hear?!"
"I hear you!"
"Ye best be prepared, I sayeth! Good day!" And with that, he turned around and disappeared from sight, followed shortly by the rest of the team.
Once they were gone, Tasic turned to the sun, deduced that it would be at least two hours before then, turned back to the Equestrians as they all walked back to the trailer, and spoke up, "Looks like we got another battle on our hands and hooves. And if what the RED Demoman said is true, you'll have to wait while we figure out what limits have to be applied on your Customizers while we're here."
"Why wait?", Rainbow Dash asked as she tapped her card, immediately donning her Scout gear. Instantly, the force field flashed and she was pulled into its bounds. This caught her off guard and she crashed into the grass. She then got up flew for the castle again…and she passed through the force field, only for it to flash as it kept her from taking the scattergun with her and the pistol beside her. This sudden resistance made her slip and she crashed into the grass again.
"That's why.", Chronicle answered for his fellow member as the others entered the barrier's bounds. "This barrier is obviously keeping in our out certain things."
The barrier flashed again and everyone turned to see Pinkie now in her Pyro uniform tapping her flamethrower on it. She then dropped her weapon and hopped across the force field and it didn't stop her. However, when she then pulled out her flare gun literally out of nowhere with her strange abilities, it reacted in a flash and 'pulled' it from her mechanical arm's grip.
"This barrier is strange.", Thenam commented as he exited the trailer. "It keeps out guns, yet it allows the mech-arm to pass through. I presumed it would've kept out any piece of tech far ahead of this time period."
"We'll have to test this out.", Jothicu mused as he exited the trailer as well. "Guys, we'll have to find out what goes through this force field and what doesn't. He said guns are not allowed, but what else will this barrier keep out?"
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
After a couple of minutes, EqU finally figured out what was allowed and what wasn't. Every hat and miscellaneous item passed just fine, and so did their uniforms (not that going out without clothes was a problem for the ponies and baby dragon). Rarity's PDA and watches passed, but the Jarate didn't, not that that disappointed Twilight. Unfortunately, as it was technically a gun, the Medi Gun and its variants obviously didn't pass through either.
Just before Fluttershy could use this as an excuse to get out of the conflict, Thenam cut her off. "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. I got some stuff for you. Now please tap your card and get into gear." The yellow pegasus complied and upon donning the Medic uniform, she saw that her mech-arms were now holding two new items.
One of them was a wooden crossbow with a metal barrel attached to a yellow canister. The Medic class icon was present on both the canister and the frame of the crossbow. The other was a saw with angular edges and a distinct yellow handle with an arrowhead-like extension near the top and the Medic class icon in the center.
"May I present you the Crusader's Crossbow and the Amputator.", Thenam stated, then gestured on Fluttershy's new primary weapon. "This will be your new means of healing your teammates. If you're worried about crossbow bolts sticking out of your friends' bodies, I modified the canister so that it shoots energy beams instead that work the same way. Unfortunately, they can still be reflected by an enemy Pyro's airblast and if they manage to bounce it on one of their teammates, it will heal instead of harm them." He decided not to mention that more healing/damage can be done the farther the arrow flies; it wouldn't do for her to stand back like a coward while helping her friends. He then gestured the new melee weapon. "The Amputator is basically like the Bonesaw, but it does something else that's beneficial. You know how the special taunts work, right?"
Fluttershy nodded in response. "Uh-huh. There's the Home Run for the Scout, the Pyro's Ha-doo-ken, the Spy's Fencing, the Eureka Effect teleporting the Engineer back to base good as new…"
"And there's the Spinal Tap from the Übersaw, I think I got a video of Lyra performing it during a simulation battle." Of course, he didn't mean the Lyra Heartstrings she was familiar with back home, but another who was the Element of Loyalty in a different Equestria and in team LUNA as their Medic. "There's also the Oktoberfest from the Kritzkrieg, just take a whiff and you'll feel a bit better after a wound. Now, where was I?"
"Umm, you were about to talk about the…Amputator's…special taunt."
"Right, that. You see, by playing it like it were a violin, you perform the Medicating Melody. Defying logic, a melody is played that projects a soothing aura on yourself and any teammates within a certain radius and your sight and causes all of you to emit a glow around your feet. Not sure what shows while you or any of your friends are in the air though. Go on. Try it."
"But I don't even know how to play the violin."
"Don't worry." Thenam then offered her a violin bow and pointed at Fluttershy's friends. "Just picture yourself doing it and try. Trust me."
She took the bow, which stuck on her hoof when she willed it to, then assumed a stance she barely recalled from one of the violinists at the Grand Galloping Gala (which she had glimpsed before heading to the garden), then stated to "play". The bow, which was actually a special piece of tech, interacted with the special properties of the Amputator and Fluttershy found herself playing a tune she once sang to herself and playing it almost like a natural.
Instead of a circle around their feet, a butterfly shape in the form of the EqU Medic's cutie mark appeared, and the taunt's targets paused in whatever they were doing as they noticed and felt the healing effects. For those in the air, like Derpy and Rainbow, the shape formed right underneath their feet mid-air. Everyone turned to Fluttershy, who just stopped "playing", and one by one they applauded.
"I felt like the Medi Gun had been used on me.", Twilight commented.
"That's the power of the Amputator's Medicating Melody.", Thenam explained. "It's not advisable to just stand by and listen, though; it's an alternate healing measure apart from the Crusader's Crossbow since the Medi Guns are not available while we're here." He turned to the EqU Medic. "And another thing; neither of those weapons build up the ÜberCharge meter; only the Medi Guns and the Übersaw can do that, and the latter requires you to attack with it, which I know you wouldn't dream of doing if you can help it." The tech manager then turned to the others. "Thanks to our collaboration with LUNA, I got some more new weapons for you guys to use."
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
EqU Team
Rainbow Dash's Loadout:
1° Weapon - None
2° Weapon - Mad Milk
Melee Weapon - Candy Cane
Hat - Purely Polychromatic (no hat)
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
Derpy Hooves's Loadout:
1° Weapon - None
2° Weapon - Royal Canterlot Hallmark
Melee Weapon - Pain Train
Hat - Ditzy Blonde (no hat)
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
Pinkie Pie's Loadout:
1° Weapon - Party Cannon (only for Medieval Mode)
2° Weapon - None
Melee Weapon - Sharpened Volcano Fragment
Hat - Madame Dixie
Misc. Item 1 - Marxman (colored Pink As Hell)
Misc. Item 2 - None
Spike's Loadout:
1° Weapon - Ali Baba's Wee Booties (Fire Breath)
2° Weapon - Chargin' Targe
Melee Weapon - Hero's Lance
Hat - None
Misc. Item 1 - Element of Loyalty
Misc. Item 2 - None
Chronicle's Loadout:
1° Weapon - Magic Shot
2° Weapon - Sandvich
Melee Weapon - Magic Horn Blade (Speedy Shoes)
Hat - Standard
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
Applejack's Loadout:
1° Weapon - None
2° Weapon - The Rodeo Wrangler
Melee Weapon - Southern Hospitality
Hat - Texas Ten Gallon (colored Muskelmannbraun)
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
Fluttershy's Loadout:
1° Weapon - Crusader's Crossbow
2° Weapon - None
Melee Weapon - Amputator
Hat - Standard
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
Twilight Sparkle's Loadout:
1° Weapon - Huntsman
2° Weapon - Dragon Shield (works like Darwin's Danger Shield) (Magic Shot)
Melee Weapon - Bushwacka
Hat - Streaks of Purple (no hat)
Misc. Item 1 - Villain's Veil (colored A Deep Commitment to Purple)
Misc. Item 2 - Triad Trinket (colored A Deep Commitment to Purple)
Rarity's Loadout:
2° Weapon - Magic Shot
2° PDA - Dead Ringer
Melee Weapon - Conniver's Kunai
Hat - Standard
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Team
RED Scout's Loadout:
1° Weapon - None
2° Weapon - Bonk! Atomic Punch
Melee Weapon - Sandman
Hat - Baseball Bill's Sports Shine (no hat)
Misc. Item 1 - Bonk Boy
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Soldier's Loadout:
1° Weapon - None
2° Weapon - Concheror
Melee Weapon - Equalizer
Hat - Defiant Spartan
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Pyro's Loadout:
1° Weapon - None
2° Weapon - None
Melee Weapon - Back Scratcher
Hat - Pyromancer's Mask
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Demoman's Loadout:
1° Weapon - Ali Baba's Wee Booties
2° Weapon - Chargin' Targe
Melee Weapon - Persian Persuader
Hat - Prince Tavish's Crown
Misc. Item 1 - King of Scotland Cape
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Heavy's Loadout:
1° Weapon - None
2° Weapon - Buffalo Steak Sandvich
Melee Weapon - Killing Gloves of Boxing
Hat - Magnificent Mongolian
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Engineer's Loadout:
1° Weapon - None
2° Weapon - None
Melee Weapon - Gunslinger
Hat - Big Country (Nelson Style)
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Medic's Loadout:
1° Weapon - Crusader's Crossbow
2° Weapon - None
Melee Weapon - Amputator
Hat - Berliner's Bucket Helm
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Sniper's Loadout:
1° Weapon - Huntsman
2° Weapon - Darwin's Danger Shield
Melee Weapon - Bushwacka
Hat - Larrikin Robin
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
RED Spy's Loadout:
2° Weapon - None
2° PDA - Cloak and Dagger
Melee Weapon - Spy-cicle
Hat - Standard
Misc. Item 1 - None
Misc. Item 2 - None
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
The EqU team readied themselves while Tasic managed to move the trailer to the archery range, where the green force field followed. RED (and BLU) hasn't figured out yet that there were humans helping out the ponies and baby dragon and they weren't about to figure it out anytime soon.
"Okay. Here's the victory condition.", Tasic explained through the comms system. "As the attacking team, you're supposed to capture the control point in the castle within five minutes. The defending team's task is to prevent you from doing that. But to open the gate or even capture the point, you'll have to capture the control points to the sides of the castle. The gate will then open for a minute. It will close again when the timer runs out and any capture progress is cleared. You will also need to recapture the two points before you can try again."
"Mission begins in sixty seconds!", a familiar voice came.
"Hold on a second.", Pinkie realized. "Is that the meanie-pants Administrator?"
"Yes, although they're just recorded messages coming from speakers hidden from our view.", Tasic said.
"It's weird of me to say this, but I'm starting to think we aren't actually in the past.", Derpy said.
"I'm starting to think so too. Jothicu's out checking the area. Anyway, the torches you see can be used for Snipers to set their arrows alight. Fire arrows will set ablaze anyone it hits."
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind.", Twilight said as she fidgeted a bit to make sure her Dragon Shield was secure. The Dragon Shield was a cluster of giant dragon (not Equestrian dragon) scales stretched over a wooden frame. Basically a counterpart of the Sniper's Darwin's Danger Shield, which had a stretched crocodile hide. She wasn't comfortable with wearing an animal's skin, so Thenam made this one.
"Spike, you can use your shield's special charge to get to the castle's battlements by running on the large rock as a ramp. I still advise against going on your own, though."
"All right.", the dragon replied.
"Mission begins in thirty seconds!", the Administrator's voice came.
"To all pegasi, if your back's to the sun and you're in the sky, the glare can affect your enemies' aim. Since the Crusader's Crossbow and the Huntsman are the only things that can shoot you around here, it will help a lot."
"Got it!", affirmed Rainbow as she swung her Candy Cane, an oversized, white-and-red candy cane with a like-colored ribbon wrapped around it in a double-looped parallel bow.
"To all unicorns, you are permitted to cast the magic shot spell, but you have a set limit before the card will bar you from using the spell. You can reset the limit by going to ammo pickups. Clear?"
"As crystal.", replied Rarity.
"Mission begins in ten seconds!", the Administrator's voice came.
"Remember that this is a highlander match, so I'm not allowed to deploy clones, okay?", advised Thenam. "Respawn is still open, as always. Now get ready."
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
On cue, the EqU team exited the camp, Rainbow and Derpy opting to go over the wall followed a second later by Fluttershy while the rest went through the exit closest to the castle. No REDs have entered their line of sight, but they knew they were coming.
Upon seeing the large rock, Spike grinned and activated his shield's effect, boosting him forward and up the rock, the velocity of his charge coupled by his skates sending him right for the battlements.
"Dammit! Rainbow Dash! Support him!", Chronicle said as he activated his new footwear by unsheathing his "magic horn blade". They were a set of large, padded galoshes, like the ones from Applejack's tacky dress. They were designed with flame decals and orange rings. The boots emitted a blue hue like his own aura and he began to speed up, although from what Thenam told him his attacks would be weaker and attacks on him would be stronger. Basically speaking, it was a "pony counterpart" for the Heavy's Gloves of Running Urgently.
"Hey!", Pinkie called as Rainbow went after Spike, who had promptly crashed on the Heavy. "Want me to provide some cover fire?"
"Pinkie you can't—" He stopped short when she took out her party cannon, procured a cannonball, then loaded it. "Okay. Go!" The EqU Pyro fired the cannon and the projectile made its way to a Pyro that happened to get in the way.
"Aaaggh!", gasped the Scout. "Since when did they got artillery?!"
"It's that pink menace!", growled the Soldier before jumping down to confront the invading ponies. Meanwhile, the Heavy was trying in vain to land a hit on Spike. In hindsight, the KGB probably isn't the best weapon to use on such a tiny baby dragon who had a weapon with a long reach. And he was soon taken down, giving Spike a "bonus" as he went down the stairs and found the Sniper drawing back an arrow from the Huntsman.
Upon seeing the EqU Demoman, the Sniper quickly turned and fired the arrow, which struck him on the head, but bounced off. Still, it hurt for Spike and his card treated the damage accordingly; that means even if it didn't hurt as much, the card calculates it just like if it were done on somebody not as sturdy as him.
The force of the arrow knocked him back of course, but not for long as he quickly recovered and drove the Hero's Lance into the Sniper's gut. 
The instant the Sniper died, a light burst from where his heart should be and made its way into the lance.
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
Back outside, Twilight was taking advantage of the outdoor torches to shoot a few fire arrows at the oncoming REDs as she covered for Applejack, Rarity, and Derpy as they made their way to the capture point on the right while Chronicle led Pinkie and Fluttershy to the capture point at the left.
As the EqU Heavy, Pyro, and Medic reached the point, they saw the RED Demoman already there, accompanied with the Medic and Soldier.
"The carrot top-blondie's mine!", the one-eyed mercenary declared, curiously wielding not the Eyelander but a different sword. It was a scimitar with a brass hilt and a bloodied blade, the Persian Persuader. The other two REDs nodded as they went for the girls.
The two sides clashed on the control point. Magic-formed blade met not-cursed blade. Psychotically-swung saw met reluctantly-brought-up saw. And pickaxe met—the party cannon.
"Wha—?", the Soldier could only gasp at the grinning Pinkie (not that he can see it due to the mask) before being blasted into the wall, not killed on impact as she had forgotten to load a cannonball and it instead fired party regalia.
The sound of the blast distracted the RED Medic long enough for Fluttershy to push him off, get away, and fire her crossbow, which her counterpart began to do as well, firing on their teammates and/or enemies. Meanwhile, as the two blade wielders continued to clash blades, the RED Demoman was hit and set on fire; He was attacked from behind by Pinkie's Sharpened Volcano Fragment. This gave Chronicle enough time to strike at him, then an energy bolt from Fluttershy finished him off.
The Sharpened Volcano Fragment was an obsidian axe with a glowing secret chemical flowing along the blade's extreme edges. It was not lava as was advertised or everybody would've been fried by now and it wouldn't have held together in the first place; however, the secret chemical gave off a set-on-fire upon contact.
The RED Medic immediately aimed for the Soldier, and tried to shoot him back to health, only to fail because of the Equalizer ("Dummkopf!", he swore) and shortly went down thanks to his EqU counterpart.
"Good shot.", Chronicle complimented her.
Just then, they heard the cracking of knuckles, and turned to see the crazed patriot take a grenade off of his chest sling, thrust his fist in the air, and say, "C'mere, cupcake!"
Realizing what was about to happen, having experienced it before in one battle against BLU, Pinkie pushed Fluttershy out of range just as the point was captured. The grenade exploded, killing the Soldier and sending away the EqU Pyro and Heavy to the limbo room.
Erstwhile, Applejack, Rarity, and Derpy made it to the other control point, only to confront the RED Scout and Engineer there.
"C'mon, tough guy! Uh, girl!", said the Scout.
"You and me, hoss.", dared the Engineer.
"Bring it!", Applejack accepted.
Insulted from what the Engineer said, Rarity accepted as well. "Oh, it is on!" The two of them charged, followed shortly by Derpy. All of them now stood on the point.
While everyone else prepared their melee weapons, the farmpony took out a new 'secondary weapon'. It was The Rodeo Wrangler, a lasso, but ordinary only on the outside. Regardless of her actual skill, the Rodeo Wrangler will immediately guarantee a catch if aimed right and will prevent the target from being able to escape or leave his arms open in the case of an enemy.
Appplejack snagged the Scout, pulled him in, and delivered a buck to the gut. Derpy followed up with a whack of the Pain Train, which was a broken wooden handle with dark tape, outfitted with a large railroad stake and several bent nails stuck in the top.
As for Rarity, she just managed to parry the Engineer's cybernetic hand with a shove of telekinesis, and—with her magic's extra reach an arm can't do—finished him with a backstab… 
Only to get a backstab herself from the RED Spy. The Spy-cicle coated a ragdoll of the EqU Spy that was left behind in a thick coating of ice, while the real one was feeling the shivers in the limbo room, not to mention complaining about the cold's effects on her hair. She didn't bring out the Dead Ringer fast enough.
"Ah, so that's how you do it.", the maroon-clad assassin whispered to himself, now getting the mystery behind the 'ranged backstabs'.
Although the kill was silent, Derpy's derped eyes caught sight of the attack and she immediately went straight for him. The Spy managed to see her coming, endured one hit from the Pain Train, then vanished from view, dodged a wild swing, and stepped away, stopping when his cloak was just about to run out.
Once Applejack had managed to take down the Scout (after remembering that she somehow can't hogtie with the Rodeo Wrangler), the point was captured shortly. Upon that, the gates opened.
"All right!", she whooped, then turned and gasped upon seeing a frozen Rarity, forgetting that the real one is in the limbo room. "Rarity!"
(A/N: Dammit, stop with the puns!
That was just the first one!
Shut up!
Sorry.)
"I'm fine. I'll be back in a few seconds, dear.", said her friend through the comms system, though distress could be heard in her voice.
"Looks like the Spy's got the Spy-cicle.", mused Tasic. "Normally, it would leave someone frozen, but our cards save you from that. It's just that Thenam also made them leave ragdolls at certain—oh, wait. Why am I explaining it to you?" He then whispered, "You're no tech whiz or any level of tech-wise."
"I heard that!", retorted the farmpony.
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Back in the keep, Spike had managed to hold his own quite well thanks to Rainbow's support as they fended off the REDs that went for them even as they made their way down to the control point, where they were unfortunately out in the open, especially as crossbow bolts and arrows started to rain on them.
Just then as they retreated to the gates, those started to open; the two control points have been captured. They could see Twilight headed their way and she approached them.
"Twilight!", Spike greeted.
Rainbow however was suspicious. "Wait a second.", she whispered. By impulse, she quickly smacked her friend…and she flickered red; it was the RED Spy. If it were really Twilight, the FFPS would've made the hit a mere glancing blow.
"Mer—", the Spy swore just before he was smacked gain before he could even react. A few more smacks later and he was dead, leaving two health packs behind, one of which she picked up and the other she left for Spike. 
As the dragon collected his pick-me-up, he saw the real Twilight come over, Huntsman on the ready (this he knew was the real deal), and accompanied by Rarity, Pinkie, and Chronicle.
"Come on, guys!", Rainbow called as she waved them on.
"So it comes to this, I sayeth!", they heard the Demoman call out. All heads turned to see him in the center of the castle courtyard. The one-eyed swordsman stood there, having switched back to the Eyelander. The other REDs stood around him, although the Spy couldn't be seen, having been recently killed and will be respawning in a few seconds. Rarity kept a critical eye up while Derpy escaped notice as she flew off somewhere to attack from another angle.
"So it has.", Chronicle stated.
"Know that takin' the point will no' be easy! This fort will not be taken ye ponies, or my name ain't Tavsh DeGroot!", he then let out a battle cry. "Huzzah!" Immediately, the other REDs (except for the Heavy, who took a bite out of his slab of raw rib-eyed steak) went in on the attack and so did the rest of EqU (starting with a tossed Mad Milk) save for their Heavy, Sniper, and Demoman.
"That's it!", Twilight declared as she flared her horn. "I will not tolerate that any longer."
She's taking offense to how the Demoman's speaking in the old-fashioned way Princess Luna used to do., Chronicle thought.
A magic shot was fired, but the Demoman deflected it somehow, surprising her. "This blade is cursed, lass! I can match yer sorcery!"
Twilight growled at this. While he was wrong on that regard, her card inhibits her magical power and abilities for mysterious reasons. A stronger blast would've knocked the sword away, cursed or not. Still, it protects her from suffering death, something she would not wish to experience anytime in the near future. She and her bodyguard decided to bypass him, but the RED Demoman moved in to get in their way, only for Spike to force the princely-dressed mercenary back.
"I'll handle this!", he declared as he thrust his lance forward.
"The tiny drake fancies himself a knight, eh?", taunted the RED Demoman as he drew back. It was the crown prince Tavish against the pony-allied dragonling. "While the lance normally bests the sword, ye are short in stature, and are young of age, verily!"
Spike was furious at this and engaged the one-eyed Scotsman in battle. To them, everything else was a blur. It was up to their teammates to handle the capture/defense of the final control point.
Applejack went straight for the Heavy, who prepped his KGB and swung them at her, but even she was too fast for him. She evaded one swung fist, then made a swing with the wrench before following up with a buck, sending him off to the side and into a wall with a window above, which Derpy jumped off of to bring down the Pain Train on his head.
The RED Medic was—while also patching up his teammates—trying to shoot down Fluttershy, who was doing the same, though more on helping her teammates than hurting her counterpart or his teammates, though she did not have any regrets when she made those hits. As both of them strafed one another's attacks, the EqU Medic suddenly found herself out of ammunition and—remembering the ammo boxes—made her way into the castle halls, her RED counterpart deciding not to follow her and concentrate on the others.
She found one (as well as a steak-shaped heath pickup she wasn't willing to pick up) at an area overlooking the right side, where she could drop down to the courtyard below. Just as she went to the box and replenished her 'crossbow bolts' on contact with it, she felt something step on her tail. Normally, she would do nothing but be a little miffed, but given the current circumstances and position, she swiftly turned around…and brought up her Amputator to block the RED Spy's Spy-cicle.
The well-dressed assassin gave a chuckle as he withdrew his arm. "Peek-a-boo!", he teased. Whoever comes out of this alive in this fight matters not to him. If he takes her out, good. If she takes him out, the breakdown that would follow would deny EqU their healer. Still, that doesn't mean he'll go easy. Unfortunately, even Fluttershy was (well, has become) above this childish execution of the prank and did not yelp in fright.
Knowing that turning around to flee would spell doom because she would expose her back (not to mention not knowing if she can fly fast enough to get her tail out of the Spy's foot), she slammed the flat end of the saw onto his face, forcing him to jerk back—and free her tail from his foot. Then she—still facing the Spy—pulled away from him, picking up the health pickup (which thankfully didn't give her any taste of meat in her mouth), drew her crossbow, and fired, landing two bolts before he vanished from sight.
Meanwhile, the two Demomen decided to break off from their one-on-one and started zipping around the battlefield with their shield's charging effects, plowing through each others' teammates and taking them down. This began to irk both teams, especially EqU as their allotted minute was running out, although the point was already in the process of being captured by Twilight, who shortly found herself contending with the RED Sniper in a Bushwacka clash.
In the middle of this swordfight however, a baseball conked the EqU Sniper on the head, and her RED counterpart took this chance to cut her down. Well, before he could get a good enough gash into her body, she disappeared in a white light; she was sent away. 
The lanky Australian turned to see the RED Scout headed his way to pick up his baseball.
"Thanks, mate!", he said to the speedster, who gave a tip of his hat in reply as the Scout found it, but he didn't pick it up. In an instant, he drew his hand in the form of a finger gun, just as the Heavy often does, and fired a blue gem-shaped energy projectile. As the shot hit the Sniper's hand and disarmed him, the 'Scout' swiftly dissolved into Rarity, who then quickly drew her knife, and performed two quick slashes at him with it before ending with a thrust, executing the Fencing taunt, and freeing the point of REDs.
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Meanwhile, the real RED Scout—who indeed smacked Twilight on the head with his Sandman's baseball, but had to dodge a charge from Spike and soon had a new ball spawned—was evading his EqU counterpart as she flew above him. He had since outgrown his crying over rainbows, or at least this particular one as she hurled a jar of Mad Milk at him. He evaded it as it slammed onto the RED Engineer's back as he attempted to contend with the craziness that was Pinkie Pie.
Suddenly, the toymaker had an idea. It was insane, maybe more so than a Sentry jump, but given the circumstances… The Engineer pulled a rip-cord from his mechanical prosthetic, revving the hand of his Gunslinger up to vicious speeds, and then turned around and thrust it into Pinkie, who was about to bring down her axe on him. The mech-hand stunned her solid before he withdrew the hand, after which she was sent away in a most spectacular manner. Instead of the usual vanish into white light and disappear, she vanished into white light—which then exploded like a firework without the hurting part, then made a second explosion.
"Take it like a mare, cutie!", he said afterward, then pondered to himself. "Double explosion, huh?" He then got an arrow to the head, and he cursed himself for not wearing his helmet, not that it would've helped anyway for some reason. Groaning, he turned and saw Twilight Sparkle back in action. As it turns out, after respawning, she did a series of short-range teleports (a single-long range one not available for her due to her card). She let loose another Huntsman arrow, but he managed to dodge this one. However, a hit from Derpy's Pain Train finished him off.
Once the blow connected, she knew it was time. Switching to the Hallmark, Derpy blew its trumpet and it started to affect EqU. Unfortunately, the RED Soldier had his Concheror ready as well and blew through the shell, its effects on his team already establishing themselves. RED attacks were now healing thanks to the Concheror, but were reduced to half efficiency thanks to the Royal Canterlot Hallmark.
Meanwhile, Spike and the RED Demoman had clashed weapons again while the RED Spy sneaked into the point to take out his EqU counterpart. He was followed by Pinkie Pie (not that she knew it), who was followed by the RED Pyro. With the control point being close to capture, just about everybody eventually started to head there, attacking each other in the process. The only exceptions were the Scotsman and the dragon, who were still at each others' throats as the former struggled to land a hit and was on the defensive. As it was, the short stature was an advantage, and Spike had considerable strength.
The RED Demoman was parrying thrust after thrust and oftentimes enough so that he has an opening. However, he kept swinging his blade just above Spike's head, brushing it against his head spines. Spike on the other hand was feeling a little more confident, having felt a little afraid to engage in extended close combat with anybody until now.
Due to the close range nature of what would soon be dubbed "Medieval Mode" and the height of the ponies, there were plenty of go-under-the-legs-and-trip-them-ups inflicted on the REDs, but these mercenaries weren't about to allow themselves to lose (yet again) to a bunch of pastel-colored equines. And the fact that they could also either fly or poke them with their horns if they're not casting spells isn't helping the REDs either. Well, the horn-poking was mostly accidental, but that was not the point. The control point is.
(A/N: We all know that.
What about the ones who don't?
They don't deserve to be reading this, then!
Right. Sorry.)
While the RED Engineer was getting the bronco treatment from Applejack, he managed to backhand Chronicle in the face as he tried to lead the RED Heavy to a trap. The RED Pyro was intercepting every attack Pinkie was making on him. Twilight was meeting Bushwacka with the RED Scout's Sandman while Rainbow was flying circles around the RED Sniper before he got beaned on the head by a magic shot from Rarity, who had intended it for the RED Spy. By this point, the gate for the keep has closed, but the castle's point only mattered; the other two were to open the gate and easy access to the castle.
While that and more was happening, the two Medics were performing their Medicating Melody taunts, avoiding the attacks from each others' teams, and for some reason the RED one was goading the EqU one into a violin competition. Just outside in the courtyard, Spike and the RED Demoman were still at it, the latter mostly on the defensive given the lance's range.
As the duel wore on, Spike was growing tired; and the RED Demoman knew it too as he successfully disarmed the baby dragon with one deft swing. He was about to deliver a final blow—not caring for the moment that his team was losing—when Spike remembered something Thenam told him about his abilities rendered useable (as they were blocked by his card).
I forgot to mention., he remembered Thenam say during the explanation of the new weapons. You can use your fire breath now, but not too often. Try not to send anybody to the Princess with it, okay?
With that in mind, Spike evaded the sword swing while drawing a breath, then exhaling a burst of fire, which set the sword wielder alight. Taking advantage of the RED Demoman jerking back in pain and his cry of being on fire, Spike retrieved his lance and made one desperate thrust on his opponent.
He nearly missed, grazing the side after the RED Demoman parried the blow with his sword. And then it vanished from his grip as the control point was captured and victory was declared. The last RED's eye shrunk in shock as he realized his loss as a few of his teammates fled only to be shot down one by one by Huntsman arrows from Twilight, which were rendered critical thanks to the victory condition.
"Wow! I can't believe it!", Tasic gasped from the communications system. "That was an incredibly fast fight! You guys're getting better!"
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The moment victory was secured, the EqU trailer was driven out of the archery range and to the castle. It was parked at the back, where it is safe from the battle. All the while, it still had that green barrier around it. Jothicu had returned since then.
Meanwhile, when the ponies and baby dragon headed to the RED Spawn point, but just before they turned the corner, there was a flash of green light. Once they turned, they managed to see the RED Pyro disappear in a flash, but not before he could turn to them and make a certain gesture with his middle finger. Once the light was gone, there was that wizard they met on the road.
"Ah.", he said. "So that's where the powerful magic's from." Immediately, everybody (except Fluttershy) pointed their weapons at him. Twilight then let loose a blast of magic. The wizard waved his staff and deflected it harmlessly.
"Why did you take us here?", Twilight demanded. He did not reply as he waved his staff again and he disappeared in a flash of green light before anybody else could do a thing. "Darn it!"
At that moment, Tasic went up on the communication system. "What just happened?"
"We saw a man in tattered robes, a ram-like skull, and a staff held together with duct tape."
"Merasmus!"
"Who?"
"Merasmus. He was at the road earlier before he transported us here. …Oh wait! NOW I remember who he is!"
"Just who is this Merasmus guy?", asked Rainbow.
"Merasmus is one of two magicians who reside in Mann's Land. He is the RED Soldier's roommate. At least he was until he was evicted by the RED Soldier from the castle he lives in."
"Hold on a second! Seriously?"
"Just because he's a cuckoo doesn't mean he can't do brilliant things time to time. I believe Pinkie Pie is a prime example."
"Oh, right."
"We'll tell you more later."
"Uh oh.", Thenam suddenly spoke up.
"What's wrong?", asked Chronicle.
"Better get on the defensive, 'cause I think Merasmus brought down BLU here."
"Just great."
"Conditions are same as before.", said Tasic. "This time, you're the defenders."
"Let's head over and greet them!", Pinkie suggested.
"Why?", asked Spike.
"Come on. The REDs did it for us."
"All right."
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And that's it for now.
"You're getting a bit worse are you."
Yeah. If you wanna complain on tactics, I don't play the game. And we can say the sight of ponies make them act differently. Underestimating them, wanting to prove they're better than them,
"Are you gonna do the Halloween ones next?"
No, I decided to try out that "baby Scout" incident.
"What about those two arguers in the Author's Notes?"
Meh, I'll explain them another time. See ya on Third!