//------------------------------// // Blank Pages // Story: Mane 6: Faux-Friends or Foe-Fiends? // by Kunnka-Kun //------------------------------// Ponyville was in ruins with nothing inhabiting the buildings but fire and ash. Town Hall was toppled into rubble, its symbol of benevolence shattered and nothing more but distant memories. The Clock Tower had long since stopped operating, perhaps giving a time of death to the inhabitants of this once prosperous city. The sky was choked with the smoke from all the burning structures. Even Celestia's sun couldn’t break through the smoke and give off a ray of hope. Of course, none of that was true. “If it was true, then that would mean SOMETHING finally happened in this damn city”, thought Jameson. Just like any other day, it was a fine day in Ponyville. Celestia's sun was especially radiant on this cool summer day, the ponies chatted with long time friends and newly made acquaintances idly in the sunlight. Merchants peddled various goods and services including tomatoes, cherries, and apples. If a sale was made, then that was great. If a sale wasn’t made, then that was okay too. Yes, it was a fantastic day to be alive in Equestria. And that made J. Jonah Jameson absolutely furious. If nothing happens, then there’s nothing to report. If there’s nothing to report, then there’s no point in journalism. If there’s no point in journalism, well then there’s no point in him existing. He stared at the blank sheet of paper on the typewriter as if glaring at it long enough would create a bit of news for him. The only headline it would hope to create would be: LOCAL PONY BURST BLOOD VESSEL SCOWLING AT PAPER, FOUND HAPPINESS! “At least that would be a bit of news”, Jameson grumbled to himself. He looked out the window near his desk and saw all the happy little ponies without a trouble in their life frolicking with each other and just being happy. There were no masked menaces galloping around, no plots against anyone, and no villains making a mockery of justice. He then thought back to when he had to restart his life. It was about a full year since JJ found himself no longer (in a rare moment of fatigue) sleeping on his bed in New York and instead was laying in a pile of mud surrounded by trees. At least he hoped it was simply mud. He was pretty sure the trees were...trees. After deciding that he was definitely not in central park, he started to yell at the number one threat of New York City as if it was going to help him from this predicament. Nothing would give him pause from his ravings against Spider-Man, not being assaulted by the Green Goblin, not getting kidnapped by Rhino, and definitely not getting rescued by the webbed menace himself. The only thing that made him stop from his rant was when he shook his fist in the sky. Or rather he tried to shake his fist, but instead raised a hoof. JJ’s skills of perception were never too good, but this was simply embarrassing for not noticing it sooner. He walked (or perhaps trotted?) to a nearby pool of water and looked upon it. The reflection that stared back was totally alien to him. Well actually he knew what a pony was, but it’s kinda shocking when your reflection is of an entirely different species than what you woke up to the day before. Being turned into a pony isn’t something that usually happens. Well not to JJ anyways. After shouting out his anger at this sudden turn of events for a few minutes, he took a closer look into the pool to inspect himself. He had a creamy brown coat, same color as the coffee he would make the coffee boys get for him around 7:00 AM at the dot. One minute late and he’d fire them. No one likes cold coffee (well except for those new age hippies who do everything wrong). One minute early and he’d fire them. No one likes coffee that’s too hot. His mane was mostly white with a thick line of black running down the center of it. There were occasional splashes of gray here or there, mostly on the border between the black and the white. Small wrinkles lined his face, and he still sported his toothbrush mustache. A shame Hitler killed the look. Kids these days could stand to know a bit of fashion. For clothes, he was almost nude except for the collar of a white dress shirt was near the base of his neck. Bizarrely not the shirt itself was there, just the collar. A solid dark blue tie hung from his neck. A rather strange ensemble to wear. Jameson absorbed all this information and did what any normal New Yorker would do in a weird situation. He shrugged it off and tried to find a way out of this forest. True, an actual normal person would be freaking right about now, but JJ had been through too many super villain plots to actual care at this point. “This is either the work of that freak, The Lizard, or maybe that coward Mysterio!”, he shouted to himself as he shook his hoof in the air. He knew this would all probably end soon just as it always did, so Jameson started his trot out of this forest. After following a stream he was out of the forest and came upon the first sign of civilization, a cottage. He went over to the front yard where he expected to find some form of life. He found one. It wasn’t the kind of life he expected. It wasn’t a life he thought he would ever live to see, or ever want to see. Before him was a winged horse. Pegasus or something like that. He majored in Journalism, not Greek Mythology. It was smaller than him, and it had a yellowish cream color for a coat. It had a pair of feathered wings that looked somewhat small on it. Its mane was a total pink and somehow it was styled like a hairdo that JJ thought had died out in the 50’s. The most notable thing however, was that there were butterflies on its flank. Not live butterflies that had landed on its flank, but rather an actual picture of a trio pink winged butterflies right on its flank. It had its back turned towards Jameson while it tended to a small garden and humming a small tune. JJ approached the pony and tested to see if it was maybe sapient. He cleared his throat. The pegasus did not notice over her tune. He cleared it louder. No response He stomped a hoof gently on the grass. Still no response “ARE YOU DEAF OR ARE YOU JUST HARD OF HEARING?! CAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY TWO REASONS WHY I THINK YOU WOULD BE IGNORING ME RIGHT NOW!” He shouted, finally losing his patience. The giant banana with wings finally took notice of his presence and demonstrated that knowledge by leaping into the air and landing again with a hard thump facing towards him. She was shaking and her teeth were chattering. She stared at him with large aquamarine, no greenish blue, no blue grass green eyes? He majored in Journalism, not Painting. “Well now that I finally have your attention, can you tell me what the hell is going on around here?!” He shouted towards the quivering pony. She only continued her shaking and chattering. Fear had taken a hold of her and right now she just wanted the angry pony to just go away so she could go into her cottage and be alone. JJ continued to stare at her and asked another question. “Can you tell me where I am?!” Once again the question came out as a yell. And once again the only sound that came out of the pegasus was chattering teeth. JJ let out a sigh.He couldn’t help it if this pony was simply uncooperative. Then a thought had come over him. What if this creature wasn’t sapient after all? Here he was just yelling at some poor animal and scaring the hell out of it. He wouldn’t like it if some weird thing came up to him and started yelling at him about things he couldn’t understand. It was his job to yell things that nobody understood! Still, he made some dumb animal suffer unneededly. He let out another sigh and his head drooped, and his eyes diverted to the ground. “Hey, you probably don’t understand what I’m saying but sorry for scaring you like that. I didn’t mean to, it’s just that I’m a little confused on what’s happening right now, and I’m not even sure where I am either. To be honest...I’m a little scared also. I don’t know if my employees are going to be okay if I’m gone this long, and my son is probably worried sick at this point. I just don’t know anything right now. That’s why I’m a little scared” The only thing that happened next was silence. Suddenly, he felt a hoof on his shoulder. He looked up and was met with a beautiful pair of mountain meadow eyes. She opened her mouth and spoke in such a sweet melody that was hardly louder than a whisper. “I-it’s okay. There’s nothing bad about being scared. As long as you don’t let fear rule you, then you’re still brave!”, She let out a small smile that could make even an ant give pause from work to admire how beautiful that smile was. JJ looked at her and smiled back. He opened his own mouth and said: “IS THAT YOUR GAME?! MAKE GROWN MEN BREAK DOWN AND THEN GIVE THEM SOME TERRIBLE FORTUNE COOKIE ADVICE THAT CAME WITH THE SESAME CHICKEN?!” His smile turned into a scowl instantly and his scowl could make even an ant work faster to avoid the wrath of it. Needless to say, the pegasus's fight or flight response took over and it screamed flight. She flew faster than JJ had ever seen a rocket go. She flew into her cottage while slamming her door and instantly closed all the curtains in a flash. JJ let out a sigh and trotted towards the door. He knocked a few times with his hoof, and as expected received no response. “Listen, I’m sorry again. That’s...well that’s really all I can say” JJ said towards the door. Hopefully the pony wasn’t hiding under some...hay or something. He knocked again. After a few minutes he finally got a reply. “A-are you g-going to yell at m-me again?” She said in response. “Yeah yeah, I’m not going to yell at you” he said while rolling his eyes. The door creaked open ever so slightly to the point where he could see her, but she could slam it at a moment’s notice if anything happened. She shook slightly but not as terribly as when he first shocked her. Upon seeing her face, JJ felt horrible. She was crying not too long ago in her cottage. He could plainly see that tears had flown down her eyes and cheeks, and there were still droplets that yet to go all the way down or simply evaporate. She sniffled ever few seconds to hold back the mucus and her eyes were red from the tears that had flown freely. Jameson immediately got flashbacks of his own mother crying when she received the regular verbal and physical abuse his father gave the two of them. Now the shouts and insults he made a few minutes ago seemed too alike to the abuse his father gave his mother. He muttered another apology. He didn’t think she’d accept it. He didn’t deserve an acceptance at this point. “I-it’s a-alright...” She said in a hushed tone. “No, it’s not okay, I shouldn’t of yelled at you at all. It was inconsiderate of me and just plain rude. Again, I’m sorry for the trouble I gave you as well as wasting your time” He turned his back and was ready to leave when she spoke once again. “Wait...do you still need help?” She said. JJ Looked again towards her and saw that award winning smile of hers. Now that was something to report about. He nodded his head at her question. If being a pony was normal for her, then that meant he wasn’t on any Earth he knew. “Can you tell me where we are?” He questioned while smiling back at her. “Ponyville. Outside of Ponyville anyways” She said. She then outreached a hoof and pointed towards a direction. “If you continue that path, you’ll be in Ponyville in no time”, she stated. “Thanks”, JJ said. It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but that was probably gonna be the best response he’d get from her, not that he minded. He turned his back once again and tried to start trotting down the path, but this time he was interrupted by a shout. “WAIT!” She yelled out near Jameson. He was pretty surprised that a shout like that came out of something so timid. She seemed a little surprised herself and covered her mouth with her hooves when that volume came out of it. For the first time in a long time, JJ dared to call something adorable. Not aloud at least. She uncovered her mouth and spoke again in that hushed tone. “You never told me your n-name. My name is Fluttershy” She said with something that could be akin to a bow if the two front hooves were bent down and the back legs were slightly stretched out. JJ let out a small chuckle, something he hadn’t done since he got here. “My full name is John Jonah Jameson Junior”, He thought about imitating what Fluttershy had done, but decided against it. He still wasn’t use to manipulating his new limbs, and it might be a gender difference and he’d only look foolish if he did it. Usually he tried reaching out for a handshake but...that might be a little difficult considering the circumstances. He continued to speak. “But people usually call me JJ” He said with a grin. JJ snapped out of his little walk down memory lane and focused again on the blank paper. There would be time to think about the past later. For now he was just tired of thinking about anything that was noteworthy at all. Finally he gave up and took the paper in his hooves. He crumpled it into a wad and threw it at the wastebasket across the room. Miss. Nothing ever happened in Ponyville, and nothing would ever happen. The town was a utopia of friendship and boredom. Great to live in, but not great to report on. Being a reporter, let alone an editor for a newspaper was a fool’s errand here. The last thing that was notable whatsoever was the election that Mayor Mane won by a landslide. She was the only candidate. Jameson stepped out of the building and locked the door. No work was accomplished today whatsoever, and he had a feeling there was no point in continuing today. He began trotting towards the marketplace to grab something to eat. The streets were filled with preparations for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. JJ let out a small, hardly noticeable smiled, at least there would be something to write about soon. Granted, it would most likely be about how it was a great honor for Ponyville to host it, and how smoothly it went. Beggars couldn’t be choosers. On the way there he passed various ponies that greeted him by name. “Hey there Mr. Byline!” “Yeah, yeah” “How you doing Byline?” “Fine, whatever” “Byline, do you have a moment?” “Nope” He finally came upon Sugarcube Corner whereupon he was greeted by Mrs. Cake at the counter. “Why hello there, Mr. Byline! Hankering for something to munch on I’m assuming? Oh why am I even asking?!” She said in that cheerful tone of her’s. For his part, JJ pretty much stood there as he waited for his donut to finally get on the counter. Mrs. Cake on the other hoof decided to make idle chit chat for some odd reason. “So are you excited for the Summer Sun Celebration? Oh here I go again asking another question with an obvious answer!” Again, JJ had nothing to say. He was bored more than anything else, and just wanted a donut. He could go without a conversation right now. Still, he might as well humor the mare. “So is Pinkie Pie sick today? Usually she’s the one managing the counter” He honestly wasn't interested in the matter whatsoever. Just something to say to pass the time. “Oh nah, she’s out and about. Decided to giver her the day off to prepare for the celebration!” Finally the donut was ready and JJ payed for it with the bits needed. “I betcha that this year’s celebration is going to be my mightily interesting. Rumor has it that Princess Celestia is sending over her star prodigee to oversee things!” Mrs. Cake said. JJ merely started to trot out the door and said in between bites of the donut: “With all due respect, Ma’am, nothing ever happens around here”.