//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: Food and Hanging Around // Story: Das Insanity Train // by Survivor98 //------------------------------// Cheesy, Bhuna, Judge and Dermo made their way into the castle through the large golden doors. Celestia, the Elements and a small army of guards were following close behind. The guards being the ones on edge watching everything the humans did. After a few seconds of walking the guys stopped in front of a set of large double doors. "Cheesy am fuckin stervin and am pritty share this is the dining room or kitchen or summin." said Judge wiping a strand of drool away with his hand. "Awright then" said Cheesy. "Hey Celestia. Dae ye mind if these three fannies git somethin tay eat?" asked Cheesy as he turned to the group of ponies behind him. "Not at all. It's almost time for dinner anyway" said Celestia with a smile. "Oh awright then" said Cheesy as he stepped towards the doors and swung them open with a hand. "Would you girls like to have dinner here at the castle too" asked Celestia. "It would be an honor" said Rarity. "Well shucks yer majesty a would love too" said Applejack. "Yeah sure" said Rainbow "Yipee" shouted Pinkie "Oh um... if that's OK with you your majesty" said Fluttershy. "Of course your majesty" said Twilight. "Well lets eat then shall we" said Celestia before walking into the dining hall and taking a seat at the head of the table. "So whats on the menu?" asked Bhuna rubbing his hands together. "I have informed the chef of you're arrival. So he is preparing a meat and vegetable dish for you." said Celestia with a smile. "Are you sure thats a good idea. The chefs no gon tae faint cause he's cuttin meat or anyhing?" asked Cheesy with a metal smirk. "Wait. When did you lose you're skin" asked Celestia slightly shocked. "Ma skins no real. It's just an illusion" said Cheesy as skin faded over him and then vanished again. "Why would you need that?" asked Rarity from across the table. "To trick enemies" said Cheesy. "Were did he go. It can't be that guy he's got skin" Cheesy said with a grin. "Does it work?" asked Rainbow. "Naw" laughed Judge, Dermo and Bhuna. "Right. The lot of yous. Shut yer pusses" said Cheesy angrily. "He... fuckin tries tae trick armed soldiers... in warzones way nay civilians left in them!" said Judge in between gaspes of breath. "Hey were you guys soldiers before you came here?" asked Twilight with a raised eyebrow. "Pretty much. A mean we've fought in every universe we've been tae. So a guess we are soldiers but we're no way an army." said Cheesy with a shrug. "Were have you been?" asked Luna entering the hall. "Who's this then?" asked Dermo weakly trying to keep his heart from dying from adorableness overload. "This is my sister Princess Luna. Also may I ask about you're heart. Is there something wrong with it?" asked Celestia with a worried look along with the Elements and Luna. "He's got a perfectly fucked heart in his chest thanks to you lot and you're cuteness" laughed Cheesy. "We caused this?" asked all the girls in unison. "Aye yous are are fuckin adorable. You managed tae make ma brain short circuit in all." said Cheesy pointing towards Fluttershy. "Noo av been hit wae explosives bid enough to level this city and ma brains no ever short circuited. So thats some kind ay feet." finished Cheesy with a gentle metal smile at Fluttershy making her blush. Dermo then promptly clutched his chest and fell out of his chair. "Oh my goodness is he alright? I'll get a medical team right now." said Celestia before being hushed by Bhuna. "Just let Cheesy handle this" said Bhuna. Cheesy picked Dermo up and put him on the currently empty table. He then reached out with one massive hand and punched Dermo in the balls making him scream, weez and then fall off the table with a thud as he hit the floor. "Why would you do that?" asked Luna "Listen darlin it's no a medical thing Dermo's got. Yous are just really adorable." said Bhuna with a laugh. "Ah here comes dinner." said Celestia grabbing everybody's attention. The dinner was placed quickly on the table and the terrified kitchen staff fled the room. "Oh my sweet fuck" said Judge as he looked at the massive piece of cooked meat in front of him. "You made me something to eat?" asked Cheesy. "Of course we did. You are guests after all" said Celestia with a smile. "Would you like something else instead?" asked Celestia. "Naw its just that... av no ate in almost 200 years. Its a bit weird being served food" said Cheesy with a chuckle. "And naw a dinnae want anything else, a can eat anything. Its just for taste and fun now." continued Cheesy with a shrug. "Can you really eat anything?" asked Rainbow "Aye" "...Prove it" said Rainbow with a grin. Cheesy then promptly stood up from his chair turned around and picked up a guard. He pulled the guard's chest plate off and started chewing with no effort. After three seconds of chewing, the chest plate was gone and the guard was left stunned, along with, Judge, Bhuna, Dermo, Celestia, Luna and the Elements. "Proof enough fur yae?" Cheesy said with a smile before sitting back down. The other three humans then burst out laughing followed by everypony else apart from Rainbow, who was sitting with her mouth open in shock. "Fuck sake. The look on you're faces was brilliant!" shouted Bhuna from the floor. The rest of the dinner went by quickly. "Well what dae yous want tae dae noo?" asked Cheesy. "Well me and Luna don't have any other meetings or summits to attend, so should we all relax for a while?" Celestia asked with a smile. "Quality, noo yur talkin ma language" said Bhuna "Girls would you like to relax for a while with me, Luna and the boys?" asked Celestia. "Yeah!" shouted Rainbow, Pinkie and Applejack. "Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy, are you coming?" asked Celestia "Of course" said Rarity. "Um... alright then" said Fluttershy with a smile. "OK then princess" chirped Twilight happily. "Very well then. Shall we" said Celestia as she and Luna started walking down a corridor with the guys. After literally minutes of walking they reached a blank white wall. However before anyone could speak, Celestia and Luna's horns started glowing and the wall faded away. "Mental" said Dermo with a smile. They all walked through the now see through wall and into a large room with a large couch, several seats, a bar, a pool table, a flat screen TV, a kitchen, a black jack table and a roulette table in it. The room was lit by a huge crystal on the ceiling which was painted half yellow with Celestia's cuitie mark and half blue with Luna's cutie mark. "FUCKIN HELL!" shouted Cheesy, Bhuna, Dermo and Judge causing Celestia and Luna to giggle along with the Elements. "Make yourselves comfortable and have some fun" Luna sang as she collapsed onto the couch with a smile. "Nae danger darlin" said Cheesy as he reached a large wooden table with a pack of cards on it. "Any of you girls wantin a game ae cerds?" asked Bhuna as he sat down at the table. Applejack, Rainbow and Rarity sat down at the table with Bhuna, Cheesy and Dermo. "Oi Judge, you wantin a game ae cerds?" shouted Bhuna as he shuffled the deck of cards. Judge then approached the table with a big cheesy grin holding several bottles of cider in his hands. "Fuck off..." Cheesy trailed off. "Is that cidre?" "Aye. Girls you want a bottle?" asked Judge. Applejack and Rainbow took a bottle while Rarity simply shook her head. "No I'm fine darling" Rarity said with a smile. The cards were dealt and the game commenced. After a while the princesses and the rest of the Elements had gathered round to watch the game. Cheesy and Dermo were the only players left at this point. "Well... whats it gonnae be Cheesy. Are you gonnae fold?" Dermo asked with a grin. "Am a fuck" Cheesy said back with a face of concentration. "Come on you've no got the cerds tae beat me Cheesy... look it yae your sweatin" said Dermo. "You dinnae ken what av got" said Cheesy quickly. "Ah ken what av got and a ken it's got you sweatin" Dermo said. "Well watch and learn" said Dermo with a smirk as he placed his cards on the table so everyone could see. "Three tens and two sevens. Full hoos" Dermo laughed. Dermo reached out to collect the large pile of jewels and bits that were on the table but was stopped by Cheesy who put his cards on the table. He had four queens. "EIGHT TITTIES!" shouted Cheesy as he swung his right arm under his left wrist that was in the crook of his right elbow. "GET IT UP YAE YA FANNY!" Cheesy shouted before pocketing his winnings. Everyone roared with laughter apart from Dermo, who was pouting with his arms crossed. "Dick" he said before joining in the laughter.