Enigma sighed softly, walking back to the Bass-ment. “It was lucky that I went to that art museum. I haven’t tried to get an art cutie mark, yet!” He froze, quickly realizing that a high-class couple were looking at him and daintily laughing. Blushing a bit, he quickened his pace, wishing he could curl up in a ball and disappear.
A few moments and some extraneous turns later, he slowed back down, figuring that he was away from those Canterlot snobs. He groaned, brushing a lock of magenta hair out of his face.
...wait...magenta?
“HI!”
“Gah!” Enigma quickly took to the air and spun around rapidly, trying to get his passenger to get off his back. He rapidly mapped out the graph for a polar function, hoping that the quick changes in direction would dislodge his unwanted passenger.
Of course, it didn’t. If anything, it only encouraged the stranger.
“WHEEE! DO ANOTHER BARREL ROLL!”
He groaned, calling out over his shoulder. “It’s an aileron roll! Those are two completely different things!”
“DO A BARREL ROLL!”
The pegasus groaned, doing a loop-de-loop in the hopes that it would placate the pony on his back. He landed back on the ground, grumbling quietly. “...please...whoever you are...get off me...”
“Oki doki, Loki!” To his surprise, he felt the stranger actually do what he asked. She then stepped in front of him.
The first thing he saw was the wide grin.
He leaped back in shock, staring at the other pony. He saw her blue eyes next, his gaze moving to her magenta mane before resting on her hot-pink coat. ...so much pink...it’s rather...unsettling...
She tilted her head, her smile never leaving her face. “What’s wrong with pink? I think it’s a wonderful color!”
He blinked, looking at her in confusion. “...did you just read my mind?”
“No.” The mare pulled a brown cowboy hat out from behind her back, putting it on her head. “You were thinking out loud!” As soon as she finished her sentence, her nose scrunched up and her eyes shifted back and forth nervously.
“...you’re seriously making it that clear you’re lying?” Enigma sighed, rubbing his temple with a hoof. “Listen...” He faltered, realizing that he had no idea who this pony was.
She giggled, hopping closer. “I’m Pinkie Pie! It’s always nice to meet new friends!”
He stared at her blankly, trying to understand what she just said. “...pardon me, but...we literally just met. You jumped on my back without asking, and then told me to do a barrel roll. You expect me to just be friends with you after that?!” He flinched, seeing a pained expression forming on her face.
She weakly smiled at him. “I’m sorry. You just want your space. I can see that.” She turned away, starting to slowly trot away.
The pegasus facehoofed, groaning softly. “...nice job, Enigma...you just hurt that mare’s feelings...” With a reluctant sigh, he approached her and placed a gentle hoof on her shoulder. “...no, I should apologize...I-I overreacted...” He chuckled a little, sheepishly smiling at her. “...and...I suppose it’s funny, now that I think about it...”
Pinkie brightened up quickly, hugging him tightly. “That’s great! Does that mean you’ll be my friend?”
He stood there silently, contemplating this for a few seconds. Eventually, he looked at her, nodding slightly. “...sure...it’s not like I have a huge number of friends, or anything...”
“Great!” She pulled him close, grinning. “We should throw a party! Oh, but I need to put together the reception.” She gasped loudly, causing his ear, which was in front of her mouth, to be in pain. “I know! I can show you what we’ve made, so far!”
Before he could ask what was going on, he found himself being whisked away, the buildings around him quickly becoming a bouncing blur.
Pinkie pulled the confused pegasus into a large hall. “Here we are!”
He took a second to let his nausea from being shaken so much subside before examining the room he was in. The gray-purple marble of the columns were decorated rather liberally with colorful streamers and balloons of many shapes - some of which didn’t make much sense to him.
“Here we have the games.” She dragged him over to one side of the room, gesturing a hoof at the few items there. He only saw a simple board game and a ‘pin-the-tail’ poster on the wall. Wondering if this was really all there was, he took a step forward.
A small wooshing sound caught his attention. Turning to his left, he saw a white-and-yellow blur rushing at him. Reacting purely on instinct, he ducked and pulled out his wooden sword, ready to beat down whatever it was.
After it reached the peak of its swing, it started to rise. As it did, he finally got a good look at it. “...is that a daisy piñata?”
“Yep!” Pinkie tied the rope she was holding to a nearby column, securing the piñata. She quickly bounced over to the other side of the room, placing a hoof on the record player there. “And this is the music for dancing!”
He approached her, expecting to hear some music for a five-year-old’s birthday party. That’s the vibe I’m getting from everything so far, anyways...
Her grin grew a little wider as she placed her hoof on the needle. “I hope you’re ready!” She lowered the arm and leaped away, singing at the top of her lungs.
He stared blankly at her, watching as she started to dance to the song. “...she’s doing the chicken dance to...whatever this is...wha...?”
She saw his lack of a reaction and frowned, lifting the arm of the gramophone. “What’s wrong, Miss Pouty-Pegasusasus? Don’t you like it?”
He groaned, facehoofing once more. "...I'm not a mare..." He sighed and shook his head, shrugging a little. “...frankly, I have no idea what that song is...it seems really weird...”
She thought for a few seconds before an idea struck her. “I know! You just need a laugh!” Before he could protest, she’d placed the needle on a different section of the record.
She started to sway back and forth on her hooves, a big grin on her face. He just looked back at her, an eyebrow quirked. “...Pinkie, I fail to see how this-”
“And do the Harlem Shake.”
He blinked in confusion. The wh- His jaw dropped in shock. ...what the...?
In the time he blinked, a large number of ponies in random costumes had appeared in the room. What is the point of this? There’s no rhyme or reason to their actions. It doesn’t even look choreographed, what with all of the clashing dance styles and items being swung or used as instruments and oh sweet Luna what is that magenta mare doing with those fans and -
He was unconscious before he hit the floor, his mind overloaded with what was going on before him.