Paradise Sounds

by Listie The Scribe Maid

Bakin' Safari (Part II Of "Good Vibrations")

Just as with the last couple days Paradise came there, everything in PonyVille was calm, normal and just eat-a-peachy. Everypony was so happy! However, our heroine Paradise was furious. As it turns out, after reading into for a few hours, Gilda really did just want to apologize to Fluttershy! She was trying to make up for her previous actions! That was the most pathetic thing. Poor ol' Fluttershy. Now Fluttershy and Gilda were... Well, not "best" friends, Gilda still held a grudge against Flutters for bumping into her, but they got along well. Even Chrysalis liked her somewhat. After Fluttershy explained their relationship again. Anyways, Paradise couldn't blame Fluttershy for anything, but she could blame Gilda for trying to reform. So, in an attempt to stay far away from her, Paradise decided to go and visit Pinkie, something she rarely did. Pinkie was happy to see her. She liked Paradise. Pinkie liked everypony, but Paradise especially.

"Hey Pinkie, how's it goin'?" Paradise asked all cheery-like. Further destroying the description of the first story, Paradise liked this random 'pparently pink party pony. While it was true that Pinkie danced too much and Paradise hated it with a burning passion, Paradise did have a soft spot for her.

"Yippie, hi, Paradise, not much thanks and you, I hope you don't feel any pain in your wings, did you forget to mention you have broken wings, well you do, it was never mentioned until now, but Gilda apparently broke them and that's why you hate her, a-anyways!" Pinkie said. "Anyways, I see you're sad. I mean, you don't sound sad, but I'mma assume you are said. But don't you worry a single hair on your beautiful multi-coloured mane of yours, I'll make you smile by doing the thing you hate the most!" And then, on cue, she began to dance.

OH. EEM. EEF! Paradise was a bit nervous when she saw Pinkie's Dance Of The Fools. If being nervous meant sweating enough bullets make a few dozen batches of pastries.

Finally, after three minutes, the pink party pony Pinkie relented. "Are you happy?" she asked between gasps for air, also sweating (but not as heavily).

"Yes," replied the white pegasus, sarcasm dripping like... Well, sweat. There's a lot of sweat. Just sayin'. "I am very happy... Very happy that you stopped it! HAH! Spent days commin' up with that one! Anyways, thanks, I do feel kinda better. But didn't have to sound so rude."

"I sounded rude?" Pinkie wondered aloud with a blink.

"Yeah, you kinda did," Paradise told Pinkie with a nod. "Really."

"Huh... Well, thanks for telling me!" smiled Pinkie, stealing Twilight's shtick and being completely oblivious to Paradise's blatantly obvious sarcasm. "Hey... Do you want more dance?"

"NO!" Paradise yelled. She normally didn't notice when she was loud like that, but this time, she kinda did. Window cracking can tip a pony off. "I mean, urr, no thank you. Um, you're very kind, I guess. You'd be kinder if you didn't torture me with your dancing."

"Well, you know what they say! The torture never stops!"

"Ain't that the buckin' truth... Anyways, what're you doing and can I do something maybe to help somewhat?"

"Well, as my contract states I should be doing in every story, I was baking cupcakes! Coincidentally when your arrived! It's a small world after all, eh?" smiled Pinkie.

"Cupcakes, eh? Well, I guess I can do that..." Paradise always loved cooking and baking. That's why her name was Paradise Sounds. Unfortunately, her spirit was smashed into 20 dozen pieces when Pinkie began to sing her favourite cupcake making song (when ponies are around)... Which I won't be pasting here because it's just padding. Instead, enjoy some Spın̈al Tap lyrics:

*Cups and cakes, cups and cakes
Oh what good things mother makes
You've gotta take tea, won't you take it with me?
What a gay time it will be

Cups and cakes, cups and cakes
Please make sure that nothing breaks
The china so dear and the treacle so clear
And I'm glad that you are here

Milk and sugar, bread and jam
Yes please sir and thank you ma'am
Here I am

Cup and cakes, cups and cakes
I'm so full my tummy aches
I'm said it must end, I'm glad I'd a friend
Sharing cups and cakes with me
And cakes with me*

And they finished.

"Mmm! These smell pretty damn good!" Pinkie commented, hovering over the sweets her and Paradise made. "What do you think?"

"WHAT?!" Paradise shouted, pouring bleach into her ears. "WHAT!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I'M TRYING TO GET YOUR SINGING OUT OF MY EARS! AHHH, IT HURTS! IT HUR-HUR-HURTS!"

Well anywho, they made lot of wonderful and scrumdiddilyumptious cupcakes. Paradise loved cupcakes. But she hated when they were made of pony. That was also kinda of a downer. So, to lighten the mood after that brutal session, Pinkie and Paradise decided that a party would be thrown that night? Why? Well, it wasn't in Pinkie's contract, nor was their any good reason. But that wasn't any different then normal.

But as they were preparing for the bi-weekly spontaneous party, out of the wild blue yonder, Gilda appeared in the Sugar Corner!

"Ugh... Never again..." Wild Blue shivered, wandering off into the same place this "joke" came out of.

"Holy shit!" hissed Paradise (prompting somepony, somewhere, to say "Hey, mare, did you just swear?"). After Gilda defeated her and broke her wings (not elaborated on), she had the audacity to try and insult not only her but her friends! That griff had BALLS!

"What? Are squirrels bucking my tomatoes again?" Pinkie enquired, looking out the window.

"CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT GRIFF?!" Paradise demanded, trying to keep her voice hushed.

"Oh."

"Well, well, well. Now, I know, judging by our last couple encounters, you expect me to call you Wingy and her Crazy Pie," Gilda began. "Oh... Paradise, how're your wings? Are you still using them as an excuse not to fly?" Pinkie gasped in shock when she noticed an empty garden across the street and Paradise stayed cool... As ICCCCCE!

"They are very fine, as in they totally good, thanks," Paradise answered sarcastically, throwing in an eyeroll for good measure.

Pinkie looked up from her garden troubles and at the two. Somehow, she knew that she should be quiet now. Gilda began to nervous.

"Oh, thanks for giving me closure on that. I thought you were in extreme pain and I would've felt just awf-"

"Oh, please! You feeling sorry for me?!" laughed the pegasus like no tomorrow. "My wings are about a dozen million times better then yours will ever-ever-ever be! But, getting off the topic of you, what in the bucking name of Tatarus are you doing here? What, did ya come here to eat or something? See, I told you you were a fatass... A fatty McFat griff."

"HEY! I'm trying to apologize to Pinkie! Stop being an assuming jerk! I don't want to beat you or anything!"

But suddenly, Paradise got fed up with Gilda's "act" and threw a cupcake she and Pinkie had worked so very hard on.

Gilda blinked. "Oh, it's on now," Gilda angrily said, throwing cupcakes back.

As it always did with throwing cupcakes, a fight broke out. Eventually, after getting somewhat tired of it, Pinkie was able to stop them. Gilda hurt Paradise and Paradise hurt Gilda too. They were panting. They were tired but Paradise was strong.

"Well, well, well," smiled Paradise. "Who's the-" she was hit the face with a cupcake. "FAUST DAMN IT, NYX, WE'RE DONE!"

"I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't know," Nyx mumbled.

"Well, next time... Know!" Paradise snapped.

Nyx sighed and wandered off.

"Also, shut up!" Paradise called after her, making Nyx sigh again. She (Paradise) then turned back to Gilda: "Where was I?... Oh, yeah. Who's the wingy now?!"

"Wingy? What the buck is a-" Gilda began, but stopped she realized that both her wings were broken - horribly broken. As in this would get an M-rating if I tried to describe them. "AHHH! MY F***ING WINGS! YOU BROKE MY F***ING WINGS! WHAT THE F*** S*** H*** WAS IN THOSE MOTHERF***ING CUPCAKES?! F***ING LEAD A-AND KNIVES A-A-A-AND STEAL AND DYNAMITE AND S***?! WHAT THE FAUST DAMN F*** S*** C*** A** F*** B**** IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?"

Paradise simpily laughed at that.

"Go to Hell... I guess," hissed Paradise with an evil grin. "And take your dollar-store wings with you!... Y'know, 'cause they broke easily"

Gilda ran out of the Sugar Corner, crying in intense pain, catching the attention of nopony. That meant that Paradise won. Again. That depends on how you define it, but, for the sake of argument, let's say that Paradise is "winning". And in that sense, Paradise was proud *missing word* herself.

"Wow, Paradise, that was... Pretty brutal," Pinkie commented with a small frown. She then immediately cheered and said, "Welp, at least we know you can defend yourself with pastries. And we finally can continue the preparation for Random Party 2013! Now let's- Oh... Oh, oh, oh..."

But then they just realized that every cupcakes were destroyed.

"Honestly didn't see that coming," Paradise, surveying the scene, said.

"Don't worry! Pinkie Pie is here and she's gonna solve everything somehow by doing the thing you hate the most!" Then, to Paradise's extreme horror, she began to SING: "I'll cook up a solution with the knowledge I've aquired-"

"NOOOOOO!"screamed Paradise, starting to reach for the bleach. However, it was much too late. In an act of poetic justice, she had to listen the song again and again and again... Yeah, she's one of the rare ponies who doesn't like Friendship Is Witchcraft.