//------------------------------// // Chapter Nine: Perspective (II) // Story: Paradise Sundered // by q97randomguy //------------------------------// Chapter Nine: Perspective (II) “Princess, are you alright?” A pause. “Princess!” Celestia struggled back to consciousness. Somepony needed her. Why couldn’t he have waited a few minutes? I still have to raise— Her eyes snapped open, and she sprang up. Trees, underbrush, a small clearing, this was the Everfree, not her room. Her gaze settled on the guard that had woken her. Why is he staring like that? “Your Highness,” he began, “where is Princess Luna?” She didn’t answer, instead inspecting her surroundings. They were exactly as she remembered them, down to the crushed grass where she’d crashed and the broken branches from the influx of air. Looking up, she saw the moon, still high in the sky, despite it being past time for her to raise the sun. It still bore the image of her sister. No. Nononono. Stars, no. Luna, why? There had to be some sort of explanation. What was it Luna said? Something like, ‘Usually, the simplest explanation is the truth?’ She looked back out into the forest and yelled, “Very good, Luna! You almost got me. This is all very realistic, but then, you’ve always had the eye for details.” She waited for her sister’s response. Waited for a full minute. Finally, from behind her, the guard spoke. “Um, Princess, I don’t mean to intrude on anything, but... what are you talking about?” She turned back to him. “Oh yes, he’s a good touch too.” She kept her voice loud enough to be heard by Luna, wherever she was looking on from. “You chose a good rank, not too high, not too low. Very believable. Ha! He seems familiar too.” She lowered her voice and gave the guardspony a looking over. “Jet Stream, right?” “Streamline, Your Highness. Jet Stream is my father.” He scanned the forest around them. “Princess, you don’t seem... well. I won’t pretend to understand that I know how the Elements of Harmony work, but I remember how exhausted you were after using them last. I highly recommend getting out of here as quickly as possible; if I’m remembering correctly, there’s both a hydra lair and a timberwolf den only a few clicks from here.” He stretched out his wings, grimacing when the left reached full extension. “What did you say?” “There’s a hydr—” “Not that.” His eyes widened. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. I should have never tried to guess what the Elements did. That was out of line. I cry your pardon.” He bowed his head. Celestia barely noticed. She did feel like she’d just used the Elements. In fact, it felt much worse than usual. About twice as bad, now that she thought about it. Almost like she’d been forced to use them by... Herself. Her legs gave out, and she collapsed. Distantly, she heard Streamline yell something, but it didn’t matter. “Luna. Sister. Why?” she breathed. “What happened to you?” “You don’t know either? We all assumed that she was captured, but—” “No.” Her soft-spoken word silenced him. “No. I... She...” Tears brimming in her eyes, she looked to the moon. Streamline followed her gaze and saw the moon’s newest features. “Wait... are you saying that she’s... gone?” She didn’t respond, simply cringing. “Princess, I’m so sorry.” He reached out, hesitated, then gently placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Your Highness, I... I have a little sister too. She means the world to me, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost her.” The hoof fell away. “Tonight, she was changed. Subverted? I don’t know how to describe it.” He sighed. “The only thing keeping me going right now is the hope that you or... That you can save her. Please, you have to get up. Princess. Your Highness, we need you.” “She should be safe,” Celestia mumbled. “What?” “Your sister. She should be safe.” He took a few deep breaths before managing, “Thank you. Thank you so much, Highness. But, how do you know? Was that what you used the Elements to do?” She winced and looked away. The last few moments of the fight ran through her mind. A chromatic spear pierced the Nightmare’s side. Her body cracked, dark tendrils of power writhing from the wounds. Slowly, she was pulled into the beam, a wordless, soundless howl forever incomplete as her body was destroyed. She pressed her head against the ground and took a few deep breaths before answering, “It’s complicated, but... yes.” “That’s okay, Your Highness. You can explain on the way.” She stared at him. “Or not.” He checked the forest behind him. “I’m sorry, Princess. I don’t know what to say. I just know that we need to get out of here; every moment we wait brings us closer to some monster finding us.” “Then leave.” She waved him off. “Your Highness, you know I can’t do that. I swore an oath to protect you, your si-country, and all its citizens. Right now, that means getting you back to safety." I could order you to leave, she thought as she stood. She knew it wouldn't work; he would disobey it no matter how hard she pushed, and she was in no mood for a fight. "Fine, we will head back to 'safety'. The castle. How far?" "Ten to twelve minutes hard flight," he answered reflexively. Her horn glowed, and he shouted, “Wait!” They reappeared only thirty hooves above the ground, giving them barely enough time to get in a single downstroke before hitting the ground. Celestia was gasping in exertion. “That wasn’t... supposed to... happen.” She tried again, but the aura around her horn flickered and died. “Your Highness, you’re exhausted. It will likely be a few minutes before any of the other guards get here, and a lot can happen in a few minutes. Please, we have to leave. I’ll do my best to ease your flight.” “Yes. You’re right,” she said. “Thank you.” It sounded forced to her, and it was, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t say anything. She unfurled her wings and shook them out. A few weak flaps later, she was slowly making her way back to the castle. Streamline joined her a few seconds later and took the lead. “Isn’t this much better? Nothing much to worry about up here. Only thing I can think of offhoof is a cockatrice, but nopony’s...” Her wings locked halfway through their stroke, and she plummeted. Old instincts kicked in, and her flight stabilized moments later. I won’t be jumping at everything, will I? Streamline swooped down to her side. “Princess! Are you okay? Was it a cramp? I could try to assist you more.” She shook her head. “No, don’t. You just reminded me of something. Something I hadn’t thought of in a long time.” She sighed. “Let’s go. I have something I need to do.” More like a few things. “Yes, Your Highness.” They set off again. This time, Celestia felt a slight updraft. “You don’t need to do that.” “I must respectfully disagree. I can’t have you falling out of the sky now; you’re too important.” Pointing out two rapidly approaching specks of white, he said, “Besides, I’ll be able to rest soon enough.” As they grew closer to the castle, more pegasi joined them and the flight grew easier. Each of them had much the same reaction when they joined the formation, gaping at her before gathering their composer. Celestia wasn’t surprised. If she looked even half as bedraggled as she felt, she would be a pitiful sight indeed. Not only that, but she could feel the melted torc resting awkwardly over her right leg. She pushed her discomfort from her mind though and focused on what she was going to say. “Make way for Princess Celestia of Equestria, The Golden Light, The Fabulous Dawn, The...” She walked right past the guard, not waiting for him to finish announcing her arrival. A mass of ponies rushed towards her, only to dead in their tracks. She brushed past them. Keep putting one hoof in front of the other. Get to the throne. Reassure them. Keep putting one... “My word! Whatever happened to your mane?” She looked over her shoulder to see who had broken the silence, but then she saw her mane. Its normal pink was gone, replaced by a swath of pastels. She stared at it for a few seconds before dismissing it and continuing on. Does it even matter? Reaching the throne, Celestia turned to face the crowd. They needed to be reassured. As she looked between them, she noticed that more than a few were fidgeting, while others looked around the room. There were a few coughs. Some conspicuous ones came from the nobles. Her wandering thoughts snapped back to the present. I’ve just got to make it through one speech and then... something. “CITIZE—” She flinched as all attention instantly focused on her. “My little...” No, that isn’t right. “Today is a dark day. Princess Luna is...” What is she, really? Banished? Imprisoned? She might as well be dead. “My sister is gone. The terror of the night was her doing. Many of you were taken by her” — a shiver ran through a portion of the crowd — “or had loved ones who were.” She looked over to where Streamline stood. “I managed to purge the darkness from you, but I could not cleanse my sister.” She looked down, bowed her head to the crowd. “I failed her, and I failed you.” From behind, a pair of forelegs wrapped around her neck, driving her to her knees with an, “Oof!” “Silly Celly, you didn’t fail us. You only failed Luna. But she’s your sister, so that probably made you sad, so here’s a you-aren’t-really-that-big-a-failure hug and a feel-better hug rolled into one.” “Thank you very much, Puddinghead,” she responded through clenched teeth. “Now, I have a speech to finish, so could you...?” She made a shooing motion with her hoof. Puddinghead nodded quickly, then waggled her own hoof back and forth, just as Celestia had. “Puddinghead. Go. Please.” “Okay, boss mare.” She leaned in closer and whispered, “But you might want to turn up the heat; ponies don’t like standing around in the cold.” She breathed out heavily and a small cloud obscured Celestia’s vision. She straightened up and saw Puddinghead already peeking out from behind the throne. Turning back to the crowd, she noticed that she could see most of the ponies’ breath. Oh Stars, what if I still can’t raise the sun? Steadying herself, she addressed them. “As I was saying, I’ve failed, and if you want me to step down, I will.” A chorus of “No’s” and “never’s” rang out. Among the nobles, it was far less enthusiastic. “So be it.” She looked away from the crowd. “I just want this nightmare of a night to be over. When I find what really did this to Luna, you will know. Now please, find your families and be with them. Do it while you can.” She walked slowly from the throne to the hallway leading to Luna’s room. Nopony dared to approach her as she passed. While she made her way to investigate what could have possibly lead to Luna’s actions, Celestia reached for the sun. Much to her relief, it rose smoothly. She stopped for a moment by a window and looked out at the dawn. “Why would you deny them this?” she asked the moon. It didn’t answer. “Fine then, I’ll find out soon enough.” It probably wasn’t even her, not really. She had been acting a bit strange lately. An idea struck her. It must’ve been something that she unleashed through a spell gone awry. That has to be it. Maybe... Maybe there will be some way to reverse it in her notes! She picked up her pace until she was nearly galloping through the halls. She skidded to a halt in front of Luna’s door and yanked it open. She collected herself and walked inside. Luna’s room looked just like when she had left last night, just without the golden path weaving through it. She pulled open drawers, searching for the one that held Luna’s notes on her magical research. It was a surprisingly difficult task. Most of them were filled with papers that she skimmed to be sure they weren’t important to her search. Gradually though, she found there was order to the stacks of paper and the binders of notes. Each drawer was separated down the middle by two binders, each of which had a summary of its contents on the first page. The papers next to it were always related to the contents of the binder. With that knowledge, her search sped up considerably. After searching through three-quarters of the room, she found it, a drawer that was different. This one had a stack of papers and three binders. Picking up the first one, she checked what it was about. “Disassociation through energy transfiguration and consciousness retention” headed the first page. Under that were descriptions of how Luna had felt while interacting with the magic when she’d encountered it during her fight with Sombra. That’s where you got it? Luna, why would you use this magic? He was evil! As she read on, it became apparent that Luna had similar reservations. She noted how, despite retaining a vague feeling of how the consciousness sustaining bit of the spell worked from observing him start to cast it, she had started from scratch. In fact, it looked like any time her research had even seemed close to that feeling she’d stopped and tried something new. Looking at the dates, Luna’s progress seemed far too slow to have developed the spell. Only a page after Celestia thought that, there was a breakthrough in Luna’s notes. It was hastily scrawled, in stark contrast to the rest of her writing. She’d utilized her ability to dreamwalk, which was apparently a form of consciousness projection, using it to project onto herself. She managed a short laugh. “Typical Luna.” She flipped through the rest of the binder, but nothing seemed to be capable of making her sister lose herself. The spell was, in effect, a transformation. It was monstrously complicated, but it should have been safe. Flipping to the final entry, she saw that it was about how Luna was just about to test the spell. But that was it. There was nothing else, despite there being plenty of pages left. Checking the next binder, she saw that it was the notes on alicorn-specific magic that Luna had needed her help with. She put it down quickly and picked up the last one. This one seemed to be a journal. Looking at the first date, Celestia saw that it had been started right after Luna had returned from the Crystal Empire. She read through it, grimacing whenever she read something that had been struck through. “They did care about you, Luna. They did!” A date caught her eye.” Wait, this is the day that she tested the spell. Did she write what happened in here instead?” She read on and felt the blood drain from her face. Her heart froze solid. A memory stirred. She was sitting out on her balcony, having just raised the sun. Below her, bathed in dawn’s light, her light, was her fledgling country. She looked out over her kingdom, with its few roads connecting the scattered villages and towns. In her mind, it grew. Dirt paths became grand highways linking cities filled with ponies that never had to fear for their safety, never had to play Pony and Griffon to prepare for an actual griffon attack. And in her heart, she knew it would happen. The Stars had said that she would be able to change the world, so she would. A ghost of a breeze blew through her mane, and a faint smile touched her lips. “Surely, there is nopony as lovely and so well beloved as I. The Stars have blessed me. How can I let that go to waste?” She walked inside. The memory faded away, leaving her staring at the pages. A drop of water hitting the paper startled her out of her stupor, and she dropped the journal back in the drawer. Out in the hall, a hoof stopped just before knocking on the door. Slowly, it lowered, and an ear was laid against the door. “Luna, I’m so sorry,” Celestia sobbed. “It was never supposed to happen this way. I just wanted to help everypony. Why did it have to cost you?” She collapsed on her sister’s bed and breathed in, hoping to smell Luna. There was nothing but the faint aroma of clean sheets. Celestia heaved a shaky breath. “Why did it cost you?” Burying her face in the comforter, Celestia found no comfort. Crying softly, she lay there until sleep eventually took her. Celestia lurched awake and fell off the bed. She found herself in the dark blue embrace of... a blanket. She ripped it off and stood, surveying the room. The bed was in disarray, many drawers were hanging open, and papers littered the surfaces of the desks. Luna would have a fit if she ever saw her room looking like this. She set to cleaning, putting everything back in its proper place. As she reversed the damage she’d done to Luna’s carefully ordered system, she passed by one of the drawers, not even glancing in it. Around half an hour later, she was done. Only one remained open. She looked between it and the door, wishing somepony would open it. Nopony did. Even though she could feel what time it was, she walked to the window and looked out. It was early evening. She briefly considered going out to meet with her friends and advisors, but she quickly discarded the idea. No, they can handle things for a day. I need to stop making excuses. She went to the lone open drawer. Luna’s journal sat inside, still open to the page Celestia had been on when she’d dropped it. She let her gaze rest on the pages, not taking in the words. When she finally picked it up it almost surprised her. She read the first line on the page then remembered how she had nearly ruined the ink with her tears. She adjusted the book’s position to be more in front of her than below. This time, she read a paragraph before stopping. I’m not just going to start in the middle, am I? I can give this the time it deserves. She flipped back a page. Like I never did for Luna, she thought sourly. Flipping back one page at a time, she watched the dates creep back to when Luna had returned from the Crystal Empire. I saw her battered and nearly broken, and what did I do about it? Did I rush to her? Console her? Spend any time with her? A single, choked laugh escaped her and she nearly cried then and there. She restrained herself, though, and began to read. Her restraint only lasted three pages. As she read, she found she had lots of time to think, as her vision often became too clouded by tears to make out the words. Did I really miss the signs, or did I just... not do anything about them? Deep in her heart, she knew that she’d seen them. I pushed her aside. I let my goals come before her well-being. I... I didn’t love her. Her thoughts tumbled around in her head, but they kept returning to how she could have intervened... and hadn’t. As she reached where she had left off, she noticed that the sun was insisting on setting. Carefully, almost reverently, Celestia set down the journal. As she lowered the sun, she sent up a small light spell. She picked up the journal again and read a few lines. Off-balance, she stopped. Something's off. She poked around, sniffed the air. Cocking her head to the side, she listened intently. The only sounds that reached her were the faint sounds of ponies readying themselves for bed. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Despite that, her unease only grew. Her wings flared in agitation, sending a tickle of air across her back. It also sent a tickle of recognition across her mind. It wasn’t that something was there that shouldn’t be. Rather, something was missing, but it wasn’t so much a thing as a feeling. The sensation of motion that always accompanied the moonrise hadn’t come. Celestia realized that she had been staring at the pages before her without really seeing them for well over a minute. Shaking herself, she wondered, How long will it take to get used to that? It’s... It was what sent me to bed so many times. Thousands? Tens of thousands? Something like that. She chuckled weakly. Luna would have to work out the math once the question came up. Focusing once more on the journal, she picked up where she’d left off. Coming to the summer months, she recalled how the nights had become more glamorous and less restful. Now, seeing it from Luna’s perspective, she understood why. Not knowing what to think, she continued reading. Eventually, late at night, she fell asleep on her hooves. The light went out, plunging the room into darkness as the journal fell to the desktop. Celestia awoke, crying out, “Luna, I didn’t—!” She found herself reaching out to both the tatters of both her sister and her dream. In it, Luna hadn’t been a cackling madmare. She had simply been her little sister, and she had been pleading for help. Celestia brought her hoof back to her chest, closed her eyes, and gradually slowed her racing pulse. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she crossed to the bathroom. She reached out to open the door with her magic and walked out into the hall. Her eyes shot open in realization when she heard her hoofsteps echoing down the corridor. Turning, she saw the door to the bathroom was on the opposite side of the room. “Right.” On her way back across Luna’s room, Celestia sent up a light, and as she opened the bathroom door, she created another. The sight that greeted her was pathetic. In the mirror, she saw how her usually pristine coat was disheveled and dirty. Her regalia had been reduced to melted lumps. But what really drew her eye was her pastel mane. Its colorful, shimmering length waved gently over her shoulder. Her eyes narrowed at it. So, this is to be my scar, my constant reminder of what I have done? It seems so... paltry. Well, if this is to be it, I should at least make an effort to see it. With a small force of will, she made her mane flow ahead of her and was immediately reminded of Luna. Sighing, she went to remove her ruined jewelry. Her tiara ripped painfully from her head. She welcomed the pain, letting it bring her fully awake. She tapped the torc a few times, thinking. It hadn’t been designed to be removed. It also hadn’t been designed to be covered in armor made of magical fire. I may as well finish the job. She called on fire to melt it the rest of the way off. As the flames tickled over her neck, the gold softened. The lights she had put up gradually dimmed, then winked out. A moment later, the fire died too, plunging Celestia into darkness. Did my magic just... give out? That hasn't happened in years. Decades even! She mentally plumbed the depths of her magical reserve and found it to be practically empty. It’s not that surprising, really, she rationalized. After all, I did use a tremendous amount of magic during th— the other day. Add to that whatever the Elements did to me, and it’s not that surprising at all. Celestia sent up another light then slipped a hoof behind her cooling, semi-molten torc and pulled. It came off in large globs that she tossed into the onyx tub. Once it was all off, she got into the tub and scrubbed herself down. As she continued to get ready for the day, her stomach growled. Now that she thought about it, she realized that she was starving. She doused the light as she passed through her sister’s room. Walking the halls in the pre-dawn light, she allowed herself time to savor the stillness. See, Luna? I appreciate your night. She stopped. Did I just make this about myself? I did. And even after seeing what she went through. It made caring about something like not eating for a couple of days seem petty. As if trying to prove her wrong, her stomach clenched again. But it reminded her of the time she had spent with Luna in a mountaintop cave, and she hung her head. As she trudged on, she raised the sun, taking solace in the fact that she still could. Had that particular ability been tied to her unicorn magic, it would have been a disaster piled on a tragedy. “... but I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that despite all the possibility for unfortunate accidents, there were only a few major injuries.” He smiled hopefully. Celestia blinked. The look on that stallion’s face seemed to call for some sort of affirming response. “Oh, yes. Very good.” That didn’t seem to placate him, as he cleared his throat and asked, “Forgive me, Highness, but when will you be visiting the victims?” Was that his question? Celestia wondered. He came in, introduced himself, said how sorry he was that Luna had gone bad — not as sorry as I am — and then... Ah, but who is he to know what it’s like to lose a sister? I’ve known Luna easily twice as long as he’s been alive. And she didn’t go bad, she just made a mistake. How is that her fault? Everypony makes mistakes sometimes. Hers was just bigg— A cough interrupted her musings. “Sorry, dry air.” The air didn’t seem too dry to Celestia. “Perhaps you should see the pegasi about that. I’ll be seeing them as soon as time allows.” He bowed and backed away. Celestia resisted the urge to yawn, but allowed herself a sigh as she surveyed the court. To her surprise, it was already early afternoon. Unsurprisingly, there were still many, many ponies waiting to talk to her. The next was already introducing herself. This was going to be a long day. The day was a haze; there were only a few things she could recall with clarity. One stood out more than the others, likely because she had been thinking about it for most of the night. It had been a simple question, but it turned her blood to ice. Soon after hearing it, Platinum had offered to take her place for the rest of the day. Celestia was grateful for that; she may have broken down in front of everypony without the intervention. Or had the intervention happened because she had broken down? Celestia shook her head. It didn’t matter. What mattered was how dawn was coming and the moon, her sister’s moon, still hung high in the sky. Staring at it, at the image of her sister, the question burned in her mind. “Celestia, what will you do about the moon?” What will I do about the moon? I should not do anything with it; it’s not my place. Yet I must. It’s not natural for it to stay up for so long, three days already. But I don’t know what to do. Would I just... reach for it? That seemed like a reasonable place to start, as it was how she raised and lowered the sun. Reaching out, she subconsciously grasped the sun. She forced herself to let go of it and let her astral senses expand. Minutes later, the feeling she got from the space her senses went through changed. It felt more restful, peaceful. She knew that this was Luna’s domain. As she felt her way closer to the center of her sister’s part of the sky, the sensation changed, became more restless and angry. She reached the source, the moon. Beneath the rolling jealousy and hate surrounding the moon, Celestia felt deep sorrow and hopelessness. More than that, she felt her sister, a welcome change from when she had fought her. At first, it gave her hope. Perhaps Luna was changing back. But the writhing sea of negative emotions surrounding her seemed to suggest otherwise. Perhaps, she thought darkly, she was blocking herself off, and, now that she has no body, she can’t anymore. I just wish I could do something for her. At the edges of her mind, she felt the first hints of the sun needing to rise. I will do everything in my power to help you, sister, but now, I must do this. She extended her aura to encompass the moon. Through the roiling malaise surrounding it she could find no purchase. Try as she might, she could not grasp it like she could the sun; her sister threw her off each time she tried. Celestia couldn’t blame her. The whole thing was wrong. There was nothing she could do about it besides apologize and beg forgiveness, even though it wasn’t deserved. She let her emotions pour into her aura, looked to the moon, and sang. Fate has been cruel and order unkind How can I have sent you away? The blame was my own; the punishment, yours The harmony's silent today But into the stillness I'll bring you a song And I will your company keep Till your tired eyes and my lullabies Have carried you softly to sleep Once did a pony who shone like the sun Look out on her kingdom and sigh She smiled and said, "Surely, there is no pony So lovely and so well beloved as I" So great was her reign and so brilliant her glory That long was the shadow she cast Which fell dark upon the young sister she loved And grew only darker as days and nights passed Lullay moon princess, goodnight sister mine And rest now in moonlight's embrace Bear up my lullaby, winds of the earth Through cloud, and through sky, and through space Carry the peace and the coolness of night And carry my sorrow in kind Luna, you're loved so much more than you know Forgive me for being so blind Soon did that pony take notice that others Did not give her sister her due And neither had she loved her as she deserved She watched as her sister's unhappiness grew But such is the way of the limelight, it sweetly Takes hold of the mind of its host And that foolish pony did nothing to stop The destruction of one who had needed her most Lullay moon princess, goodnight sister mine And rest now in moonlight's embrace Bear up my lullaby, winds of the earth Through cloud, and through sky, and through space Carry the peace and the coolness of night And carry my sorrow in kind Luna, you're loved so much more than you know May troubles be far from your mind And forgive me for being so blind The moon calmed, and Celestia found that she could take it into her grip. She gently wrapped it in her embrace. It wasn’t quite a hug, but it would suffice. Guiding it down, she continued. The years now before us Fearful and unknown I never imagined I'd face them on my own May these thousand winters Swiftly pass, I pray I love you; I miss you All these miles away May all your dreams be sweet tonight Safe upon your bed of moonlight And know not of sadness, pain, or care And when I dream, I'll fly away and meet you there Sleep… Sleep... Sleep... Letting go of her sister was the hardest thing she had ever done, made worse by how easy it had been. Without thinking about it, her aura flew back to the sun. Celestia lay down and let the tears flow until she could remain awake no longer.