Chapter 2: All Women Are Crazy
“Hmph! Are we doin' this or what?!”
The hot headed overlord glared up at the pack of magically animated wooden wolves from within his crater (he made it after all, that made it his property!). The monsters growled but seemed hesitant to make the first move. They were used to less…aggressive prey. Generally anything’s reaction to them was shrieking and running in the other direction. This weird thing seemed eager to fight.
The largest of the pack perked its ears suddenly, headed whipping to the side as it caught a new sound carried on the wind. Several sharp barks and its pack were off, bounding after their alpha in search of new easier prey.
“Hey!” Laharl leapt from his hole and glared at the retreating wolves. “Nobody growls at me and just walks away! Get back here!” Promises of waiting to meet the yellow horses’ leader fled as Laharl’s outlet to vent his frustrations on suddenly turned tail and ran. Teeth bared in a fierce grin he gave chase swiftly leaving the small clearing behind.
***
“I can’t believe you talked us into coming in here…again.”
“Ah can’t believe y’even WANTED t’come back here.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes listening to her friends complain. “Come on you guys we’ve done EVERYTHING there is to do in town to get our cutie marks! The next obvious move is to try stuff outside of town! Besides it’s not so bad out here. Fluttershy comes into the Everfree all the time, and Zecora lives out here!”
The wisest of the three nodded, large pink bow bouncing in her mane. “Ah s’pose that’s true. Applejack an her friends come through here from time t’time. Heck Twilight visits Zecora regular-like fer that tea she likes.”
Sweetie Belle, by far the most cautious of the three seemed less than convinced. “Still remember last time? We would all be lawn ornaments if Fluttershy wasn’t there!”
This was a sobering thought for the three fillies, and even the adventurous pegasus paused a moment. “Well it’ll be different this time! We’re older! Smarter! And uh…cooler?” The first was true even if only a year had passed. The second was certainly debatable. As to the third, that depended on who you asked.
“Hmph. Well what’re we even s’posed t’be doin’ out here Scoots? Ah’m all fer tryin somethin’ new t’get mah cutie mark but we tried hikin’ in Whitetail already.”
A toothy grin split the orange filly’s face. “We’re going to be Cutie Mark Crusader Adventurers!”
Her two friends shared another nervous glance. “That ain’t exactly specific.”
“It doesn’t sound very safe either…”
“Well then somepony else think of something!” As Sweetie Belle opened her mouth Scootaloo quickly added, “something NOT involving tea parties or board games or something.” The little unicorn abruptly snapped her mouth shut.
“How about we just go to Zecora’s and back? That’s not TOO far, and maybe she’ll have some neat stuff to show us.”
Having an actual destination in mind went a long way to settling the fillies’ fears. If the three had been less intent on their discussion they may have heard the approaching wolves.
***
Poor Fluttershy was working her wings as hard as she could. Equal parts concern and fear propelled her through the air. The odd creature, Overlord Laharl was alone in the Everfree Forest. Despite his confident words she couldn’t help but worry. With a relieved smile she soared over Ponyville landing before the library. She was in such a hurry she didn’t stop to consider the door might be locked, and when she raced forward assuming it would swing open easily…instead she bumped her nose against the solid door and fell back on her rump with a soft yelp.
“Oh no Twilight’s not home…” Casting about and feeling her panic rising again she took to the air once more. “Think Fluttershy think…she wasn’t going to Canterlot, spa day isn’t until tomorrow, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie are working…” That left one likely location. Hoping against hope she winged for Carousel Boutique.
Her wings and chest were beginning to ache in protest from all the heavy activity. While she wasn’t exactly out of shape, Fluttershy was no athlete or work pony. She landed outside the boutique panting gently and nudging the door open. She almost flopped on the ground with relief as she spotted Twilight standing still for Rarity while the unicorn worked a hem on a new (and rather sleek looking) dress the alicorn was modeling.
“Twilight! It’s an emergency!”
Twilight Sparkle’s wings flared in excitement as she turned to Fluttershy. The look she gave the butter yellow pegasus was something you’d expect somepony dying of thirst to bestow upon a desert oasis. “Really?! What’s wrong?! Discord turned evil again? Princess Luna went crazy? Rampaging dragons?!”
“N-no…there’s um…a…thing in the Everfree Forest.”
Rarity cleared her throat less than gently and nudged Twilight back into place. “A ‘thing’? Isn’t the Everfree full of weird animals and crazy monsters?”
“W-well yes but…you see this one um…talks. He fell from the sky. A-and um…he’s waiting for you in the forest?”
Now she had the princess’ attention again. “It talked? But you’ve never seen anything like it before?”
“Oh no I’d remember something like this. He looked a little like a hairless monkey. He said his name was Overlord Laharl.”
Rarity had turned from her work to regard the pegasus now too. “Overlord? That doesn’t sound like a terribly friendly title. Is he dangerous?”
Fluttershy scuffed a forehoof as she thought. “I’m not sure. He seemed a little…shouty. But he had such a lovely mane. I think he was just a little upset about falling um…a few hundred feet to the ground.”
The other ponies’ eyes widened at this. “And you just LEFT him there? Fluttershy that’s not like you to ignore a wounded creature, talking or no.”
The gentle pegasi’s brows drew forward just a hint in irritation. “Of course I would have helped if he was hurt. But he was just fine.”
Another long look crossed between the horn’d ponies. “He fell a few hundred feet from the air, with nothing to slow him down…crashed into the ground…and he was fine? You’re SURE?”
“Oh yes. Absolutely sure. But um…he IS sitting in the Everfree waiting for us…”
Twilight nodded firmly. “You’re right. I don’t know who or what this Overlord Laharl is but the Everfree is no place for anypony or uh…anything to spend an afternoon. Lead the way!”
Rarity could only sigh softly as Twilight teleported herself out of the half-finished gown, letting it fall to the floor forgotten. Casting one last forlorn glance at the garment she galloped from the boutique trailing her friends.
***
“Stupid…whatever those things were!” With a bellow of rage Laharl slammed his first into a perfectly innocent tree, toppling the defenseless fauna. The wolves had given him the slip, leaving him with his building pent up aggression reaching a critical level. He was about to storm back to his crater, likely murdering several more trees along the way when a trio of high pitched shrieks pierced the quiet stillness of the forest.
Laharl had something of a crisis on his hands. Someone was definitely in trouble, but he didn’t care. On the other hand someone in trouble meant someone getting attacked, and there was a good chance given the direction the screaming was coming from it was the very wolves that’d managed to get away from him. No doubt if Flonne was here she’d be badgering him to go help.
Scowling at the fact that even when the fallen angel wasn’t here, she still somehow managed to nag him he sprinted in the direction of the screeching. His hunch was correct, the pack of wood wolves or whatever the hell they were, were closing in on three cowering little horses. Only one of them had wings and another had a horn. That was weird. And they were all kinds of crazy colors. Tears were streaming down their faces as they scrunched into a tight ball of adorable fluff. Ugh if Flonne could see these things she’d go berserk.
With a grunt he leapt forward landing firmly between the tiny horses and the wolves. The wooden creatures hesitated for a moment at his sudden appearance…and that moment was enough for the Overlord to act. Just because he had no weapons didn’t mean he wasn’t a total badass. Gritting his teeth he swung his fist into the snarling visage of the closest wolf. With a satisfying crunch its head just burst apart in a shower of sticks and splinters, the rest of the body flipping through the air and landing with a thud breaking apart on impact.
“Hmhmhm! Thought you could get away from ME did you? No one growls at Overlord Laharl and walks away!”
Scootaloo was lamenting not only that her life was about to end, but that her closest friends were about to die because of her actions too. That is until she heard the strange voice. Daring to lift a hoof from her eyes she saw…something fighting the wolves! “Girls! Girls look!”
Her fellow crusaders peeked up as well, jaws falling open at the spectacle before them.
NOW Laharl was feeling better! After his first punch the wolves turned their attention to him, one clamping its jaws down on his arm. The poor things teeth shattered against his skin.
“Hmhmhmhmhm…HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!” Gripping the hapless beast with his free hand he flipped it into the air and snagged it by the tail then began using the poor thing as a bludgeon against its fellows. Bits of bark and leaf flew through the air in all direction. A pretty piss poor substitute for bone and blood in his opinion, but it was still a pretty good stress reliever.
While Sweetie Belle and Applebloom stood transfixed, jaws nearly resting against the forest floor at the brutal acts being perpetuated by the weird pink haired thing in front of them…Scootaloo looked on with an altogether different expression. Eyes wide and shining with admiration she watched in awe as her savior tore through the timberwolves like…dry tinder! Could it be? Was it possible? She almost didn’t want to believe it but…had she found someone…COOLER than Rainbow Dash?
His initial makeshift flail reduced to nothing but kindling Laharl cast about for more of the stupid things to beat to death. To his dismay it seemed they were all dead or had run off. Still he felt better. Tossing the bit of wood in his hand aside he glanced down at the three horses he’d saved. He expected at least cursory thanks, not three sets of huge eyes staring at him silently (two in fear one in admiration). What would Flonne do? This was like a whole world of angels in little horse form.
His thoughts were interrupted as the horses’ eyes shifted from him to…something over his shoulder. The sound of splintering wood filled the air as he turned in time to see the splinters of the destroyed creatures pulling together. Not just back together, but fusing into one huge monster. Grinning toothily he pounded his fists together. “Now this is more like it!”
***
“Fluttershy there’s nothing here, he must have left.”
“I just don’t know where he could have gone! You do believe that he was here don’t you?”
Rarity trotted up to the pair gazing down into the empty crater. “Well that is a rather unusually shaped impact in the ground down there. It would appear that he was here. Perhaps he got bored?”
Twilight was scanning the ground around the crater quietly. “Look at all these tracks girls. I think timberwolves found him.”
This brought a gasp from the other two mares. “O-oh I knew I should have insisted he come with me. H-he was just…yelling a lot…a-and…”
Shaking her head the young alicorn gestured around the clearing. “There’s no blood Fluttershy. I think he’s fine wherever he is.”
“Gyaaaaaaaah!”
All three ponies whirled at the scream getting a clear view of the creature Fluttershy had described soaring through the air at high velocity right at them. The ponies scattered as he smashed into the ground then slid a few feet, digging a small trench in the dirt.
Before any could think to go to his aid, a tremendous howl split the air forcing all three to cover their ears. With a resounding boom a timberwolf easily the size of an adult dragon barreled into the clearing chasing after the prone Overlord.
“Who the hell d’you think you are?!” Laharl was on his feet already. He whirled to the nearest tree and slapped both hands around the trunk, digging his fingers in hard enough to splinter the bark. With a grunt he heaved it up, roots and all and spun hurling it right at the enormous beast like a huge leafy spear.
Already smirking at the expected carnage, his smile fell as the thing opened its jaws…caught the tree in them…and crunched it to splinters. It even paused a few moments to casually chew its meal which only served to increase its size. “Grrr! Dammit that’s not fair! If I had my magic you’d be a bonfire by now!”
Twilight wasn’t quite sure what to make of the physically powerful potty-mouthed creature, which had run right at the wolf and leapt on its head pounding away with his fists. She tried to decide which she’d rather have emerge victorious. But Fluttershy said the creature, Laharl had just yelled…not attacked her so he couldn’t be all bad. Her musings were interrupted as she spied three familiar little fillies peek out from the brush.
“Rarity! You and Fluttershy get the girls out of here! I’m going to try and help the uh…Laharl.”
Rarity’s eyes widened at the sight of her little sister. “Of course! Be careful Twilight, we’ll be back as soon as we can!”
Twilight kept an eye on the battling monsters (yes plural…she had NO idea what Laharl was but he was clearly dangerous) while her friends evacuated the Crusaders. Satisfied they were far enough she turned her attention back to the timberwolf. Squaring her hooves she closed her eyes focusing on her magic.
Since becoming an alicorn it had gotten a bit…tricky. Oh she could still use any spell she’d learned and a lot easier than ever before at that. The difficulty came from the power behind her spells. Even simple levitation had to be relearned at first. Everything she tried to pick up wound up crushed into a tiny little bead of whatever it had been.
Still this seemed the perfect opportunity to really flex her magical muscle. She was a little concerned about catching Laharl in whatever she cast however, so she settled on focusing her magical aura over the wolf’s lower half. The wolf yowled in pain and rage as its back half just imploded in on itself, splinters of wood raining down around the clearing. It tossed its head wildly again flinging Laharl into the air. The young demon landed with a grunt next to the alicorn.
He looked at her for a moment then looked to the devastation she’d wrought on the thing he was fighting. “Huh…not bad for a little talking horse.”
Twilight’s nostrils flared. “ExCUSE me?!”
Laharl was momentarily taken aback. “Wh-what?! All I said was not bad!”
“No…you called me a…a…HORSE!”
His scowl was matching her own now. “So? That’s what you are isn’t it?”
She reared back wings flaring in indignation. “Y-you…how…how DARE you!? That is…that is a very racially insensitive word!”
“What? What the hell are you talking about?! You have four legs! Hooves! Tail! Fur! You’re a horse!”
“I…I…” She reared back and shoved him with her forehooves.
The demon wasn’t expecting the physical strength that accompanied the little horses shove and he was sent staggering back. His own eyes widened now. “You shoved me! Do you know who I am!?”
“You called ME a horse! Do you know who I am?!
“Oh I know JUST who you are! A goofy, tiny, talking…”
“…don’t you dare.”
“…horse.”
Nostrils flaring, Twilight Sparkle’s horn flared to life. If Laharl had been in a clearer state of mind he might have reconsidered throwing around what was apparently a racial slur at the little…thing (since apparently she WASN’T a horse?) that had just crushed the back half of the huge monster he’d been struggling with a moment ago by glaring at it harshly. A bright magenta flash filled his vision and he rocked back feeling like he’d just been slammed in the face by a rampaging dragon. For the third time today Laharl found himself soaring through the air, crashing to the ground and creating yet another crater. At least he was accumulating plenty of property to call his own here.
All at once Twilight’s anger fled when she realized she’d just used her magic offensively against a creature that was apparently far inferior to she in strength. Frowning at losing her cool so easily she galloped after Laharl, slowing to a canter as she neared his resting place. “A-are you alright?”
His eyes snapped open as she neared; with a shout of his own he swung his fist up catching her just under the muzzle and rocketing her into the air. Her head was ringing and she was seeing such pretty little birds flitting around her head as she flipped head over tail into the air wildly. Shaking her head violently she regained her senses, flaring her wings and slowing her ascent. She silently thanked Rainbow Dash for the daily flying lessons as she slowly righted herself and circled Laharl from above.
Her quarry sighted she tucked her wings to her sides and dropped into a nosedive. Her horn blazed and surrounded her body in its nimbus of light augmenting her already alicorn enhanced muscles. Forehooves stretched out she streaked right for her opponent intent on bashing her hooves right into his stupid smug little monkey face.
Laharl may be without access to his mana…and therefore his magic, sword, and combat skills…but he had more than enough muscle to beat up some stupid…horse! Yeah horse! He waited until the last second before leaping over the enraged alicorn, twisting in the air and landing behind her as she smashed into the ground, letting loose an explosion of magic powerful enough to scorch the ground. Smirking he moved to grab her around the haunches…realizing his error just a second too late.
Horn still brightly lit Twilight leaned forward on her forehooves, coiled her hind legs in tightly and bucked out catching Laharl in the chest. The Overlord was pretty sure he heard something break in there as the iron hard hooves connected, and sent him rocketing along the ground into a fourth trench/crater.
Panting heavily from all the unexpected physical activity Twilight felt her anger slowly cooling. She approached cautiously…though kept out of Laharl’s reach this time. “…are you…done?” She didn’t hide her frown seeing the very clear hoof marks embedded in his chest. What was wrong with her? This isn’t how she behaved! She was acting like a bully!
Cracking an eye open Laharl looked at the purple horse with new respect. It’d been a long, long time since he’d had a good fight and she was certainly putting up one of the best he’d ever had. He again lamented the loss of his powers…how great a battle would it be if he had access to his full strength!? But he knew when he was outmatched. She was physically his match. He didn’t know if she was using some kind of magical buffs to get to that point but it was the harsh truth. They were even physically AND she had magic. The two didn’t really add up to him winning this. Grudgingly he nodded. “For now.”
‘Well it’s better than nothing.’ She thought to herself. She even extended a hoof to help him up, which to her relief he accepted. “So if you’re not a horse what the hell are you?”
She bristled at the h-word a moment but calmed quickly. He really had no idea he was insulting her before. Now she was feeling even more guilty for reacting like she did. She had no idea why she just…really wanted to hit him. She never wanted to hit anypony! Well maybe Discord…he deserved a good buck to the face but nopony else. “I’m a pony. An alicorn pony to be precise. And what are YOU? Fluttershy said you were Overlord Laharl. I assume Overlord is a title?”
Gingerly Laharl rubbed at his throbbing chest but nodded at her question. “That’s right! Overlord Laharl! I rule the whole Netherworld!”
Netherworld? She’d heard THAT term before. Though it was commonly referred to by another name. “Y-you’re from Tartarus!”
Eyebrows drew together in a scowl as Laharl regarded the pony like she was simple. “No I’m from the Netherworld, I just said that!”
“Tartarus has many names. Netherworld is one of them. You’re a…a…”
He grinned toothily at her realization. “A demon.”
“You’re going right back where you came from before you can hurt anypony else!”
“You can get me back?! Well good! Do it!”
She wasn’t expecting THAT. Didn’t all the demons and monsters of Tartarus want to get loose and wreak havoc on Equestria? “You…want to go back?”
“You’re a little slow aren’t you?”
Wings bristled again. “E-excuse me!? I’ll have you know I’m considered rather intelligent by my friends!”
“Wow they must be REALLY stupid then.”
Twilight felt her anger beginning to boil again. Why was she getting so mad?! This…Laharl was clearly a child. Did she really want to HIT a child? Staring hard at his smug smirk and the superior look he was casting her she realized…yes. Yes she did.
Before she could act on her impulse they were interrupted by the reformed timberwolf charging again, snarling wildly. Both Laharl and Twilight spun to face it, and in unison screamed, “We’re talking! Get lost!”
Demonic fist and alicorn magic collided into the monster, blasting it into millions of splinters. Both panted for a moment before looking to the other.
She’s not THAT bad. I HAVE been trying to push her buttons. She said she wanted to get me back to the Netherworld. I can do this. I managed to be nice to the yellow one! “We at least you’re not completely useless in a fight.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “I’m pretty sure I was kicking your sorry flank all over this forest a minute ago.”
“Well you…you’re just…lucky I can’t use my powers!”
Twilight’s nose wrinkled in confusion. “You can’t? Why not?”
He lifted his arms displaying the manacles attached to his wrists. “Every time I try my mana drains right into these.”
Now the scholarly alicorn was intrigued. “Mana? You use mana to fuel your own abilities? We use mana to do magic too!”
“Huh. Well…can you get these off?”
More interested in the prospect of the puzzle than the actual ramifications of fulfilling his request she took one in her hoof turning it over gently. “Hm. I might be able to. It’s a pretty powerful binding though.”
“So you’re not strong enough to do it?”
“I didn’t say that! I just said it was a powerful binding spell! Of course I can break it!”
“Well then do it!”
“Well fine!” Charging her horn to do just that she had another moment of clarity. Was she REALLY about to set this dangerous demon’s powers loose? Shaking her head she banished the spell she’d been gathering. “Actually…I don’t know that I trust you not to just attack me even more ferociously than before.”
Damn, was he that transparent? With a grunt he tugged his arms back. “Well then get me home!”
Snorting softly she nodded. “That I will be MORE than happy to do. Come on. I need permission from Princess Celestia to open the gates of Tartarus. We’ll go to my home and send her a letter.”
“Wow a letter? You ponies sure know how to get things done around here!”
Closing her eyes Twilight took several deep cleansing breaths. She would contact Celestia, open the gates, and get rid of Laharl. This would all be over In a jiffy. Opening her large violet orbs again she smiled. “Well then let’s get moving!”
Laharl was momentarily taken aback by her swift change in attitude. Suspecting something funny was going on, but not wanting to get into another slug fest with the purple little powerhouse he followed silently. Maybe she was just crazy? It’d make sense, every other woman he’d ever met was. Why should having four legs instead of two change that?
Twilight Sparkle made quick progress leading him from the forest, and soon they left the dark woods behind emerging near Fluttershy’s cottage. She breathed a sigh of relief seeing Rarity and Fluttershy working to calm the Crusaders. Poor Sweetie Bell and Applebloom were still sobbing. Scootaloo was the first to spot them.
“There they are!”
The two stopped their sniffling and looked up, then as one the trio charged toward Twilight, gratitude written all over their faces. Mentally preparing herself to accept their gratitude with grace and royal dignity…her wings fell as they brushed right by her.
“Thank you for saving us mister!”
“Yeah y’all were amazin’ in there!”
“You’re the coolest…anything I’ve ever seen in my life!”
Mouth agape Princess Twilight watched the three fillies’ heap thanks upon the rude, brutish, insulting demon. Laharl looked as uncomfortable as she was astonished.
“Wh-whatever. I didn’t do it to save YOU! I just wanted to beat something up!”
All three stopped and looked to one another. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom looking uncertain, Scootaloo’s admiration only grew. “That is SO cool.”
Laharl smirked. Now this one he liked. “Well I’m Overlord Laharl! The biggest badass in the entire Netherworld!”
Eyes shining Scootaloo whirled on her fellow crusaders. “We could try being Netherworld Badassess!”
Rarity’s eyes rolled back in her head and she keeled over in a dead faint at the profanity coming from the little filly. Fluttershy gasped softly and Twilight’s goggled eyed look went from Laharl to Scootaloo now.
“Hmhmhm. You’ve got pretty good taste kid! Maybe you can even be one of my vassals!”
“Woooow really?! That sounds so cool!”
Twilight stomped a hoof into the ground. “Girls! I think you should be getting home. I need to have a word with our new…friend…in private.”
A chorus of disappointed groans met with her demand, but Twilight was a stern authority figure even BEFORE she became a princess. Now if they didn’t do what she said they’d probly wind up in a dungeon of something. Without another word the fillies scampered off already planning on ways to impress their savior.
Twilight Sparkle turned to Laharl with a disapproving frown. “Listen. I don’t know how it works in the…the Netherworld but we do NOT curse in front of foals here. In fact we don’t really curse at all…”
Arms folded across his chest defiantly Laharl glared down at her. “What the hell do I care?”
Eyes narrowed her horn flared as a glittering magenta aura snapped into being around Laharl. Struggling all the while but helpless in her magical grip he was drug into the little cottage. Twilight strode right into the bathroom and seized a bar of soap off the sink. The Overlord’s eyes widened but he was helpless to resist as his mouth was forced open and the bar of soap crammed inside. Several agonizing seconds passed before it was removed and he was dropped on his butt.
“Wh-who the he-“ Her sudden glare caused him to falter. “…ek…do you think you are?!”
“I am Twilight Sparkle, the Twilight Princess of Equestria.” This was her first actual act of authority as a princess. “With the authority invested by that title, I proclaim that if you curse while in our country…your mouth will be washed out with soap!” Ooo she sounded so official!
“I…you…I’m…the overlord…”
“Well you might be in charge in Tartarus, but HERE its princess’ only buster. So unless you sprout a horn and wings in the next few hours while you’re in Equestria you do what I say! You got that?”
As much as it galled him to admit it…she had a point. This WASN’T the Netherworld. Hell this wasn’t even the human world or Celestia. This was….Equestria? Jeez what a stupid ass name. But with his power sealed he couldn’t really do much to defend himself if this princess got it into her head to take more final action against him. “Fine. Just get me home!”
“Nothing would please me more.” Striding briskly from the cottage she offered Fluttershy an apologetic shrug. “I’ll buy you a new bar of soap.”
Fluttershy was fanning Rarity with her wings. “Oh no, it’s no trouble at all. It had to be done. Honestly you should be ashamed of yourself Laharl. Teaching such nasty words to such little fillies. What do you have to say for yourself?”
Gah! How could this be?! The universe couldn’t POSSIBLY be cruel enough to propel him worlds away from demon Flonne only to stick him right in front of PONY Flonne could it? But he felt that horrible, awful, gut wrenching sensation he felt whenever Flonne was…disappointed in him. He’d been stabbed, shot, burned, frozen, poisoned, and even killed once or twice on the field of battle, but nothing…absolutely NOTHING compared to the agony this sensation carried with it.
Arms folded firmly he hmph’d and looked away. “….sorry.”
All at once the little yellow hor…ponie’s eyes softened once more. Just like Flonne’s. “Well it’s ok then. Just don’t do it anymore alright?”
Twilight watched their exchange quietly. Was he really a demon from Tartarus? Watching him interact with Fluttershy it was hard to believe it. But one look at his blazing red eyes and sharp fangs dispelled the innocent illusion. Her own expression softened slightly. “Come on Overlord, let’s get you home.”
Nodding silently he fell into step beside her. He took the time to look about the town as they entered. Everywhere he looked were more of the colorful ponies. Some had wings, horns, and some had neither. The plain ones were the majority. What was the significance of the horns? Twilight Sparkle’s seemed to glow when she channeled magic, it must be a focus for their mana.
“So. I have to ask…”
He glanced down at his guide. “What?”
“…what’s with your mane?”
“My ma…you mean my hair?”
“Right. That it doesn’t really…fit you.”
He felt a growl building in the back of his throat, but at a warning look from the alicorn he fought it back. IT nearly made him throw up to do so, and his eye twitched several times but he beat it down. “My head vassal Etna did it. I can’t get rid of it.”
He yelped as her horn glowed and she tugged his head down to her eye level. “Well it looks like mane dye. And…A LOT of styling product.” She released her hold and he straightened up. To his dismay her horn glowed brighter and the glow around his head intensified until he was nearly blinded. It faded quickly and he caught sight of his hair. His blue hair!
Almost not daring to believe he ran his hands over his head, feeling his antennae styled back to their proper shape. Tugging one down he examined it for any trace of the hideous color. Finding it all blue once more he looked down at the pony again. “…thanks I guess.”
Thanking somepony didn’t seem to come easy to the demon. Of course he was a DEMON, so he probably didn’t say thank you very often. Really he wasn’t what she expected of a blood thirsty soul stealing monster. He was definitely a jerk, but some ponies were jerks too. He did save the crusaders, even if he claimed it was for another reason. He couldn’t be ALL bad.
“You’re very welcome.” Maybe a little diplomacy was all that was needed. She doubted they were going to become friends or anything, but there was no reason to make things worse on him. The poor guy was pretty far from home, he was probably upset or distraught.
They drew more than a few stares from the ponies in town as she led her unusual guest to the library. Magically unlocking the door form the outside she let him enter first.
Huh. She lived in a library? In a tree? That was actually a little cool. There weren’t many trees in the Netherworld…at least not trees that were alive like the ones here seemed to be. Really he was beginning to get a bit of a headache from all the bright colors, and he was definitely missing the stench of boiling lava. But there was something to be said for being out in the fresh air. When he was little he remembered his parents taking him to places like this.
He hadn’t thought of his mother in a long time, and tried to do it as little as possible. Shaking his head he banished those thoughts before they could take hold in his head and bring him down that melancholy road again. “So what now?”
“Now I sent a letter to Princess Celestia. I need her permission to open the gates and send you home.” Twilight was already levitating a quill to a scroll of parchment.
He watched her work as he took a seat on a cushion on the floor. It was a little interesting to see something without hands writing and manipulating stuff you normally needed thumbs to use. “Didn’t you say YOU were a princess?”
“I am!” She sounded very proud of this. “My coronation was two months ago.”
“And this Celestia person is a princess?”
“She is. The princess of the sun!”
“So why do you need her permission?”
Twilight blinked at him. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “You’re a princess. She’s a princess. Isn’t that the same rank?”
The gears slowly turned and clicked into place in Twilight’s head. “Well yes I suppose. But…she’s Princess Celestia. She’s been our ruler for thousands of years.”
That was interesting. “So you ponies are immortal?”
“Well not all of us. Though some of us do live very long lives. Princess’ Celestia and Luna are actual immortals though.”
He leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm. “So you’re like…a junior princess? A princess in training?”
“No. I’m a princess. A full blown, have a crown and everything princess.”
“But you need permission from this Celestia princess to do anything?”
“Not ANYthing! Just…big things.”
“So she doesn’t trust you to do the big things on your own?”
She was getting upset again. “I…that’s none of your business! What do you know anyway?!”
He shrugged. “I know what it’s like having to live up to someone else’s legacy is all. My father was…in SOME people’s opinion the greatest Overlord to ever rule. All the time I hear “Well that’s not what your father would do.” Or “King Krichevskoy did that differently!” He clenched his fists tightly…before calming slightly. “So…I know what it’s like. Not being able to do things without…everyone expecting you to do them differently, or better. That’s all.”
Twilight’s expression softened as she stared at the demon. Was that really what had been bothering her this whole time? She recalled sitting in on the other princess’ courts. Every time Celestia, Luna, or Cadence had tried to let her make a decision the petitioners had loudly demanded that one of the more experienced, and in one mortifying case the REAL princess handle their problem.
Her wings flexed open and closed as she went back to her letter. “Oh. I’m…sorry?”
He grinned suddenly. “It’s fine. I just beat the crap out of ‘em and that settles the matter every time. You should try it.”
“I doubt Princess Celestia would approve of me attacking petitioners who disagree with me.”
“So? Are you a full princess or not? Do things your own way and to he-ck with how THEY work.”
Twilight rolled the scroll up and sent it along its way. “It’s not that simple.”
Laharl shrugged again. “It’s as simple or complicated as you make it.”
Twilight Sparkle again regarded the surprising demon quietly. It couldn’t REALLY be that simple. …could it?
***
Princess Celestia was locked in her private chambers, door sealed under several powerful magical wards as she gazed into her scrying mirror with her mysterious guest. She was unhooded but he remained incognito while he was abroad.
“They certainly seem to be getting along all of a sudden.” She sipped her tea daintily as the expected scroll appeared before her.
“Well he is my son after all. Superior genes to those of most demons. Though to be honest, I’ve been seeing overlords like Laharl more and more of late. It’s actually rather pleasant. More than a few Netherworlds are becoming better places to live. I think you’d like Veldime, a lot of green.”
Celestia swept Twilight’s letter aside not bothering to read it. Her guest leaned over her shoulder curiously as she scrawled her reply. “Perhaps we can visit for our next little get together hm? I’m glad we’re seeing one another again, I don’t have many friends.”
A smile spread on the visiting demons face as he read her words. “Oh you are cruel.”
A playful smile formed on the princess’ face as she glanced over at her guest. “I have no idea what you mean.” The scroll rolled itself up and gripped in her magical aura vanished with a pop.
Both watched in interest as Twilight unrolled the letter.
Princess Luna was just rising to see about raising the moon for the night when she head…laughter? Brow furrowed curiously she moved to her sisters door ear pressed to against it gently. Her sister was…giggling…wildly. And there was a male voice laughing as well! Cheeks darkening in a blush Luna turned and sped from the hall in a swift gallop. What Celestia got up to in her bedchambers with stallions was her own business…
***
Twilight smiled cheerily as her mentor’s return letter appeared. She unrolled it without delay clearing her throat to read it aloud for Laharl’s benefit.
“My fellow Princess Twilight Sparkle,”
She paused a moment to bask in that first line.
“While it sounds as if your reason is dire I’m afraid I…” She faltered.
“What?”
Clearing her throat she continued. “…I cannot give you permission to open the gates of Tartarus. I believe the spell is beyond your abilities at the moment and cannot risk you loosing greater threats into Equestria. You will have to find another way to send your guest home.
Best of luck, Princess Celestia”
Slowly she rolled the latter back up, and calmly laid it to rest on her desk. Laharl watched the princess cautiously. “Spell is beyond my abilities?”
He recognized the signs. He’d seen it often enough when Etna or Flonne got genuinely upset at something back home. Slowly he rose from the cushion sidling toward the door.
“Cannot risk me loosing greater threats?”
Careful steps carried the demonic overlord to the door of the library.
“Cannot give me PERMISSION!?”
Throwing caution to the wind he dove out the door and into the streets beyond just in time to avoid the minor magical explosion from within the library.
“….all women are crazy.”