“Curse you, Twilight Sparkle! You owe Trixie for this!” the great and powerful unicorn shouted in frustration.
Normally, such an exclamation would have drawn much attention to the show mare. However, her situation was hardly what she would call normal. Instead of attention, she was simply ignored as her cry for retribution was drowned out by the raucous screams of foals as they partook in the myriad of festivities that had filled Ponyville’s park.
It was a dismal state of affairs for the show mare, not because her anguish was being ignored, but because her true suffering was still to come. Trixie still had to perform for these insufferable brats and that time was soon approaching.
But that was far from the worst part of her day! For this event, the birthday of some rich stallion’s bratty, pink daughter, Trixie was not performing as a great and powerful unicorn. No, the mighty Trixie had been hired to fill the role of a common clown.
The nerve of these ponies! Demeaning the most powerful unicorn – a title Trixie happily claimed ever since Twilight’s ascension to princesshood – with such an insulting and crass job. Sure, Trixie needed the money, and this Mr. Rich was certainly paying well, but merely asking Trixie to play a clown was an insult worth remembering for generations! The only thing worse was that Trixie was required to actually dress the part.
A large, rainbow-colored wig that looked more like a beachball than a mane sat atop her head; it completely concealed her normal mane. A ruffle collar accompanied the solid white make up that covered her face, with red highlights around her mouth accentuating the bulbous red nose at the end of her snout. A hideous, puffy, white jumpsuit covered in a mix of reds and yellows covered her body. Four massively oversized shoes rounded out the absurd ensemble.
“This is the last time Trixie asks Twilight Sparkle for a job.” the agitated mare grumbled. “I though we were friends.”
“Hey, look!” Trixie snapped her head up at the sudden exclamation. “Can you believe it? It’s a real clown and we aren’t even at a circus!” the excited voice came from a small orange pegasus filly. The filly, while flanked by what Trixie gathered were her friends, skidded to a halt right in front of the show mare. With a pair of eyes that twinkled with excitement and anticipation, the young pegasus stared up at Trixie.
Remembering her old business motto, ‘an audience is an audience’, Trixie immediately slipping into her stage persona. “Greetings, little one. You stand in the presence of the–”
The orange filly promptly interrupted her. “Can you make balloon ponies?”
Trixie responded without missing a beat. “Of course! Such a thing is child’s play for the Gr–”
“Make Rainbow Dash!”
“I want one of Rarity!”
“No, make Applejack!”
The fillies suddenly locked gazes with each other. Trixie looked back and forth as the stare-off swiftly descended into an argument over which balloon pony they should ask for. This, in turn, drew the attention of other children who promptly joined the discussion until the entire park was drowned in the shouts and screams of fillies and colts.
Trixie cringed as one of her worst-case scenarios came to pass: loud, annoying foals. “This is why I never worked birthday parties.”
It wasn’t long before the adults took notice. To Trixie’s dismay, they ended up joining the discussion. She brought a hoof to her face.
“Enough!” Trixie screamed at the top of her lungs.
Finally, the arguing stopped.
Trixie mentally complemented herself. Then imagined patting herself on the back for a job well done. Suddenly, Princess Celestia descended from on high, a radiant glow of power surrounded her. The Princess approached Trixie as the entire crowd bowed before her.
“You may rise, Trixie.” Celestia’s voice was as warm as the sun. Trixie obeyed the command. “You have proven your skill at taking control of a dreadful situation. I would be honored if you would be willing to utilize your skillful oration for the betterment of Equestria. Trixie, will you become–”
“Hey, Clown!”
Trixie was snapped from her daydream.
“Are you going to do something funny or what?!” a pink filly with a diamond encrusted tiara shouted from the front row.
Trixie glanced around the park, hoping for some sign of Her Royal Highness; but alas it had all been her imagination. As reality crashed in around her, she noticed that the entirety of the assembled party-goers were looking in her direction. She could practically feel the anticipation oozing from the crowd.
It wasn’t her preferred type of performance, but an audience is an audience, and Trixie was a true performer. She would give them the greatest, most amazing clown show in the history of Equestria! She could feel her confidence welling up as she assumed a confident posture.
“Of course!” she exclaimed. “Now stand back as the Great and Powerful–”
“Hey,” a small, chubby colt with an orange mane interjected, “you can’t steal the Great and Powerful Trixie’s lines like that!”
“Yeah!” added a dim-looking yellow colt standing next to the first.
Trixie recognized the idiot pair immediately. Before she could even think, her magic instinctively flared to life with an appropriate response to the heckling fools. A nearby cream pie magically flew threw the air connecting with the chubby colt’s face. Trixie blinked twice before her mind caught up with her actions. A grin slid its way onto her face.
Snips stuck out his tongue and lick up some of the cream from around his lips. “Hey, this stuff tastes pretty good.”
The crowd immediately broke into laughter at the pie covered colt.
“Can you still make me a balloon pony?” the orange filly from before asked.
Trixie continued to grin. “Of course, little one.” Trixie’s horn lit up once more as she reached out and retrieved a set of long, colored balloons. Suddenly, the balloons all inflated simultaneously. The magical aura intensified as the balloon became a rainbow blur for several seconds, moving, twisting, and tying themselves into a stunning reproduction of Ponyville’s premiere flier.
To everypony’s amazement, the balloon sculpture was strikingly accurate. The orange filly squealed in glee as she snatched up her newest prize before darting off stage. Cheers erupted from the audience as they stomped their hooves in appreciation.
Trixie’s revelry in the praise was cut short when she heard the tell tale hiss of a lit fuse. She glanced towards the noise to find the orange filly and her two friends had strapped her balloon-crafted pony to a rather large firework rocket. Several other fireworks were scattered on the ground near them.
“Where did you get those!?” Trixie shouted.
“We found them in a bag in Whitetail Woods.” The orange one replied happily. “It was like somepony just left them lying around.”
“Trixie left those in her camp site with a sign saying ‘This place belongs to Trixie’!”
The three fillies looked at each other, shrugged and looked back to Trixie. “But the sign didn’t say the stuff there was yours too.” The yellow earth filly replied.
“Who cares about that!” the orange one shouted. “Now I finally get to have a flying Rainbow Dash toy!”
Trixie’s expression fell as she noticed the the fuse was almost to the rocket. She dove towards the three fillies, grabbing two with her magic and one with her mouth. The hissing grew louder as the fuse reached its destination, igniting the rocket. Sparks and flames poured out of the rocket, some landing on nearby fuses, igniting them. The rocket suddenly took off into the air before flipping wildly around and careening back down towards Trixie.
Trixie ran, with foals in-tow.
A knock on her front door alerted Twilight that she had a guest. She place a bookmark into the tome she was reading before closing it. She promptly made her way to the door and opened it. What greeted her was the sight of a disheveled, exhausted, and slightly charred Trixie who was, for some reason, wearing a mostly destroyed clown costume.
Twilight stood gawking for several moments before saying the only thing that came to mind.
“Trixie, your mane is on fire...”
Trixie ripped the burning wig from her head and slammed it to the ground.
“Um, do... do you want to talk about it?” Twilight offered.
Trixie leveled a harsh gaze at the lavender unicorn. “Trixie is never having foals.”