//------------------------------// // Chapter 9 Oh thank Luna // Story: Spike the Knight // by vadram //------------------------------// Oh thank Luna ”ARE YOU BUCKING KIDDING ME?” Spike was still standing in the circle, undecided upon his course of action. ”You should go and get it before Zecora returns.” “No you should stay here and do as she told you.” “Wait, who are you?” ”Yeah who are you? I thought we were alone here.” ”Huh? What do you mean? I am Spike.” “No, I am Spike.” “No, I am Spike. You are just voices in my head... Wait... “ ”He can’t be serious.” “I think he is.” ”Ahhh... Why are there voices in my head?!” ”Huh? What do you mean why are there voices in your head? I have been talking to you for hours.” “Yeah I do not understand him either.” “You shut up.” “No, you shut up.” “You shut up. I was here first.” “Really? You are going with the ‘I was here first argument?’ What are you a baby?” “Well we kind of are.” “You stay out of this.” Said the two voices in Spikes head together. “Now back to the matter at hand...” “Don’t you mean at hoof?” ”What is wrong with you? Does it look like we have hooves?” “We have claws, fingers with claws, and even opposable thumbs.” “Sweet Celestia, how did we end up with him?” “Fate?” “Oh, shut up.” “Just saying.” “I really do not know why I even bother. We had a Jadeite in our hands.” “Don’t you mean hoofs?” that voice was laughing. ”If I wasn't a disembodied voice I am sure I would be having an aneurysm by now.” “Oh come on I find all of this quite enjoyable.” “You would wouldn't you? What are you anyway a representation of his conscious?” “Really? What gave you that idea?” “I do not know, you sounded like a cricket when you laugh.” “Really? A cricket? And you assume I am his conscious.” “What are you two talking about up there? What has this have to do with cricket?” ”Wow. And he lives in a library.” “Tell me about it.” “I didn't think someone wouldn't get the reference.” “Same here, although it still was stupid.” “Someone?” ”Oh for the love of... Look kid, are you a pony?” “I’d like to be a pony.” ”He did not just...” “He did.” “I’m starting to see why you would get an aneurysm.” “I know right.” “You know what I think I will be the grown up abstract concept and let the matter rest.” “Fine by me.” “Same here. My head is starting to hurt.” ”Now Spike listen go and get that gem eat it and return here before anyone comes back.” “Don’t you mean anypony.” “I am so going to kill you.” “Ha.” “Just you wait, sooner or later...” “Take a deep breath before you pop something.” “You can be so annoying.” “I get that a lot.” “Spike. Gem get eat now.” “Really? Okay then. Spike stay.” “Seriously you two, stop treating me like I’m a dog or something.” ”Yeah that would be just...” “Don’t go there.” “But...” “Just don’t. Trust me.” “Uh, fine. Now Spike would you go get that gem, eat it and get this over with?” “You two will shut up if I just go and eat it?” ”Yes.” “Maybe you will. Spike don’t go. Zecora told you not to leave this circle.” “Oh come on.” “The gem doesn't matter, she said nothing about it.” “But Apple Bloom said...” ”See even mister Cricket here says that you should eat it.” “I said no such thing.” “Yes you did.” “No I didn't.” “Yes you did.” “No I didn't.” “Yes you did.” “Prove it.” “Gladly. Spike did the other voice said that the gem doesn't matter?” “Yeah it did.” ”No I didn't.” “You kind of did.” ”See it’s two against one, now go and get the gem.” “No Spike don’t.” “No Spike don’t.” “I am confused I thought you wanted me to get the gem.” ”I do.” “But you just said...” ”I was mocking the other voice.” “It didn't sound like you were mocking it. You just repeated what it said.” ”Couldn't you tell by the tone of my voice that I was mocking it.” “No.” ”Me neither.” “What?” “Yeah, your voice was the same as always.” “No it wasn't.” “Yes it was.” “No... You know what never mind.” “I don’t mind.” “ Alright.” “But it was.” “You know what. Buck this. Spike, stay here and starve for all I care.” “You can always eat some rocks.” “Rocks? You want us to eat ROCKS?” “Yeah it’s not as tasty as gems are, but they contain a few of the same minerals as gems do.” “Have you ever seen a dragon eating rocks?” “Maybe...” “How can you? Have seen one? I have not seen one, he has not seen one, how the buck have you seen one?” “Maybe I didn't.” “You are a worse liar than Applejack.” “Who?” “Applejack. “Who?” “The orange mare.” “Who?” “With three apples as a cutie mark.” “Who?” “Bearer of an element of harmony.” “Who?” “Living embodiment of the element of honesty.” “Who?” “Wears a Stetson hat.” “A what?” “ Never mind. Umm... Apple Bloom's sister?” “Oh I know her. So she has a sister. “Aha. And she is a terrible liar.” “Never mind that. Is she cuter than her sister?” “Wait what?” ”Oh boy.” “What? You are asking if Applejack is cuter than Apple Bloom? I am asking if Applejack is cuter than Apple Bloom?” “I think you broke him.” “You think Applejack is cute? I think Applejack is cute? I think Apple Bloom is cute?” ”I think we might have gone off topic a bit.” “Nah why would you say that?” “Are trying to mock me again?” “What do you think?” “I think this would go better if we had our own voices instead of his voice.” “Wait. Are you telling me I also sound like him?” “Well what do you think? We are voices in his head, who did you expect to sound as?” “I don’t know... Some bearded old black... creature... with a wise and soothing voice.” “Old? Wise? Soothing? You? Ha.” “Never mind. Do you think he’s done yet?” Spike was curled up in a ball rocking back and forth, confused on what his mind was trying to do. "I think Apple Bloom is cute... I think Apple Bloom is cute... I think Apple Bloom is cute... I think Apple Bloom is cute..." “I don’t think so.” “Yeah, poor thing. You know it’s all your fault right?” “My fault? How is it my fault. I just asked if the sister of a cute filly is also cute.” “Would you stop calling them cute!” ”I think he has some issues.” “He is a male after all.” “What is that supposed to mean?” “Well... Never mind... We can talk later.” “Oh no. You... We are never talking about Apple Bloom being cute ever again. NEVER.” ”Fine.” “Fine.” “Now did he stay in the circle?” “I think he did.” “Good for him.” “Yeah. Good job Spike.” “Are you trying to be ironic again?” "..." “Hello? Is anyone there?” Spike asked knocking on his head. He looked around. It was dark already and the moon was high in the sky, the symbol on the ground had been glowing softly for a while before the light faded away. The Timberwolves were howling at the moon, a rustling sound was coming from the bushes in front of him. Spike was sure that something was there. He got up and stood his ground, after what he had been through nothing would make him run out of the circle, nothing. He prepared to meet the creature head on. A pair of bright green eyes looked at him from the shadows.