//------------------------------//
// Chapter 6 
// Story: The Adventures of Trixie if Her Father Was a Badass Alien 
// by totallynotabrony 
//------------------------------//

	The city was not quite destroyed, but rubble was everywhere.  Trixie carefully picked her way down the streets and up the hills, searching for the Flim Flam Brothers.  Everything in the city had come to a grinding halt, and there was no utility service, transportation, or businesses open.
She did eventually spot the brothers as they searched through the remains of a cart that had been smashed by falling debris.  Drawing nearer, Trixie said, “That was a terrible earthquake preventer.”
“Is it our fault that we never had good testing data to determine its true effectiveness?” responded Flim.
“Earthquakes don’t come along every day, you know,” added Flam.
“And anyway, we lost as much as anypony else in this city,” muttered Flim.
Trixie looked at the smashed cart, realizing it wasn’t the one she’d seen the brothers with earlier.  “That doesn’t look like your stuff.  Are you stealing?”
“No, just looting,” Flam assured her.
Trixie rolled her eyes and walked away.  The damaged buildings looked depressing.  She knew it would be nice of her to stay and help clean up, but her dwindling supply of medicinal brownies wouldn’t let her take the time.  It would require a long while to get over the hills and into Neighvada before she could even think about getting to a train station.  Besides, many evacuees probably had the same thought and the trains would be nearly impossible to get a ticket for.
Instead, Trixie found her way down to the docks and begged her way aboard a freighter bound for Seaddle.  It was not very far away, just up the coast.  From there, it should be easy to get back to Ponyville.
The sailors seemed curious about the cloaked, skateboard-riding mare in their midst.  Trixie had agreed to handle lights and signals, which her showy magic skills should be good at.  She also had taken the position of security expert.
The captain scratched his head.  “I don’t know how secure things are.  I mean, we’re not even leaving Equestria’s territorial waters for this trip.”
That was true, Trixie had to admit.  Also, hiring some random pony to be in charge of the ship’s defense seemed like a great way to actually increase the likelihood of getting robbed with an inside job.  While she wasn’t interested in money, a group of naïve ponies like that might be fun to troll.
The first day of the cruise was peaceful, as they left the earthquake-damaged city of San Franciscolt behind.  With the clear blue skies and perfect visibility, Trixie’s jobs of signaling and security were very easy.
She decided that she rather liked sailing.  Trixie decided that she would have to ask her father about the globe-trotting adventure he’d had a while back aboard a ship.  She’d heard a few details, but never got the whole picture.  As she understood it, the trip had been incredibly dangerous, but also beneficial to Equestrian science, and almost beneficial to international diplomacy.  Perhaps Valiant wasn’t best suited to that second category.
The sun set, and Trixie continued to keep watch.  While she thought them unintelligent, she didn’t trust the sailors to keep themselves out of trouble.  They just seemed like that kind of ponies.
In the later hours of the night, a ship without visible running lights approached, making a beeline for the freighter.  Trixie watched it with some concern, not wanting to believe it might be pirates.  Such a thing was basically unheard of in the peaceful waters of the Equestrian coast.  Was it a coincidence if they were attacked while she was aboard?  No matter.  If it came down to it, Trixie would have to fight.  She had the most capable weapon on the whole vessel.
Stepping to the rail, Trixie fired a flare of magic that soared high into the air.  If it was simple laziness on the part of the other ship, they would certainly notice the signal and turn away now.  That didn’t happen, however.  Trixie gritted her teeth in frustration.  Adding a little magic to amplify her outdoor voice, she called across the water, “Hey, you’re getting a little close to our ship, aren’t you?  It would be a real shame if we had to kill you all because we thought you were pirates.”
A faint voice called back.  “But we are pirates!  Surrender your booty.”
Trixie facehoofed.  She sighed and unfolded the bipod on the M60.  Crouching low, she poked the barrel of the machine gun out between the deck railing and aimed at the approaching other ship.
The weapon rattled in her grip as she pulled the trigger, scattering brass shell casings across the deck.  With short bursts of fire, she began to chip away at the thick mast of the pirate ship.  Trixie could see splinters flying everywhere and the ponies on deck running for cover.  After about fifty shots, the mast came tumbling down.  The ship wouldn’t be going anywhere.
Trixie poured the rest of the ammo in the belt into the hull near the waterline and reloaded, firing the next hundred rounds into the same place.  Water began to pour in, and the pirate ship was clearly going down.  The shore was not too far away, but difficult to make out during the night.  When the sun came up, the pirates should at least know which direction to swim.
The M60’s barrel steamed with heat as Trixie set it aside to cool.  She had expended all the ammunition she carried, but the portable weapon had sunk a whole ship, so it was a modest tradeoff.
“That was some mighty fine work,” said the captain, approaching.
“Thank you.”  Trixie smiled.  It was nice to be appreciated.
“I’m afraid we’re going to have to eat your brain now.”
Trixie stared at him.  “What.”  It wasn’t a question, more of a flat statement of incredulity.
The pony shrugged.  “Yeah, I kind of forgot to tell you that we’re a cult; all of us crewing this ship.  I mean, why else would we just take aboard a random stranger?  Anyway, by consuming what makes you so awesome, we can be awesome too.”
“I don’t think awesomeness works that way,” said Trixie, taking a step backwards.  She made a mental note to ask Valiant about it later, but perhaps Rainbow Dash’s opinion might work in the meantime for a partial answer.
Trixie wondered what Rainbow was up to lately.  Hadn’t that one stallion knocked her up?  Heh, Rainbow as a mother.  That would be funny, but also kind of irresponsible.
Shaking her head, Trixie got back on track.  She noticed a few of the other crew members gathering around, including the pony who was supposed to be steering the ship.  They were forming a semicircle, pinning her against the deck railing.
“Well, if that’s not how awesomeness works, then how does it actually?” asked the captain, drawing a rather large knife.  All around, standing here and there on the deck, the other sailors pulled out blades of their own.
Trixie popped open her switchblade.  “Come here and I’ll show you.”
Her skateboard and the still-hot but out-of-ammo M60 were nearby but with the close quarters, Trixie anticipated this was probably going to be a straight up knife fight.  She turned out to be correct.