//------------------------------// // "Winged Obama" Causes Uproar Among "My Little Human" Fanbase // Story: The Onion: Equestrian Bureau // by The Read Later List //------------------------------// By: Machinekng Manehatten, Equestria- Yesterday, impassioned debate, occasionally punctuated by the sound of exploding hand grenades and indiscriminate gunfire, filled the aisles of United Pomans 2013, the semiannual convention held for fans of the surprisingly popular television series “My Little Human.” The controversy began several weeks ago when a particular image was posted on peoplechan.net. The image was claimed to be a leak from Haysbro, the owner of “My Little Human” and other notable children’s franchises. The image depicts the character “President Obama,” one of the main characters of “My Little Human”, with wings. This is apparently a big deal, and has spawned some debate and criticism on fan sites such as “AmericaDaily.” However, this controversy was relatively low-key since many members of the community pointed out the image was a poorly done photoshop job. This all changed at United Pomans when the character change was confirmed by Haysbro’s vice-director of public relations. “Yes, that is our poorly done photoshop job,” asserted Mr. Sugar Coat at one of the convention’s panels. The convention hall instantly burst into an uproar as many of the “Pomans” began to cry that the show had been “ruined forever” and that “the fandom was dead.” The growing mob’s ire quickly shifted to Mr. Sugar Coat, who was promptly lynched by his own neck tie. Many Pomans blame Haybros’s toy division for the character design shift. They claim that the changes were made so that the company could sell toy sets with figures based on the new version of the character. “Stupid Haysbro!” declared Motor Mouth, a unicorn and one of the convention goers. “We put so much time and dedication into this show. We spend all our money on LED t-shirts and cheap toys made by foals in Marelyasia. And what do they do? They sell out to the bucking pegasus demographic!” A group of passing angry pegasi Pomans, overhearing the conversation, ruthlessly descended on Motor Mouth and stomped him into unconsciousness for his racist remarks. The surviving panelists did their best to reassure the fans that the changes would not impact the quality of the show, and that the current response was a minor overreaction. “We’ve been planning this since the middle of last season,” announced Fine Art, the head of “My Little Human’s” development, as her co-workers fended off the onslaught of disappointed club-wielding fans. “We know that you all like Barrack, he’s a character lot of ponies can relate to and we’ve devoted a lot of screen time to him because of that. We plan to build up to the transformation in a logical manner that highlights his development throughout the series so far. This is going to be a climactic moment for him and the entire team believes that wings will only add more depth to his character.” Ms. Art paused her speech in order to dodge a several blunt objects hurled at her by her fans. “Regardless, this is still going to be the same President Obama you know and love. He’s still going to be a father figure struggling to raise a family while dealing with the responsibility and stress of being an important leader, along with having to compromise between his obligation to his humans and his own ideals. “Wings won’t change that.” Ms. Art left the stage promptly after her announcement, in part because the horde had broken through the defensive perimeter and in part because a Molotov cocktail had hit the stage and ignited her mane. Even though the creative team has done its best to reassure the fandom, there are still some reservations. An example would be Liquor Snap, who, as he was lying in the fetal position in the aisle, tripped our on-site reporter as she was fleeing the building. “It’s just not fair!” sobbed Liquor Snap as he clutched his Limited Edition Barrack Obama plush doll. “My entire life’s work, just down the drain! Not fair, it’s not fair!” Liquor Snap is the author of a ~75,000 word “Obama X OC” fanficition and was distraught over the fact that this new revelation makes his work “non-cannon,” which is apparently a big deal. We don’t know what cannons have to do with anything, but we last saw Liquor Snap attempting to commit suicide by swallowing a nearby can of Gak. Although there’s been a lot of anger from the announcement, not all Pomans are so riled up. “Ponies are over exaggerating,” said Time Turner, a casual “Poman” who, along with his like-minded fellows, were locked in a bloody firefight with the more annoyed fans. “Seriously though, they’ll get over it. They were complaining when they released that Lady Gaga toy with pink skin, and they threw a fit when they censored and redubbed Stephen Hawking’s voice in that one episode, but they got over it. Now excuse me, I just have to-“ Bang! Bang! “Gotcha, you bucking clopper! Anyways, in a couple of days this all will be over. We’ll be back to our lives and the show will still be excellent.” In related news, Princess Luna, a long-time fan and supporter of the show, has also shown some distress due to Barrack Obama’s design shift. Seeing the announcement on a live stream, she immediately turned into Nightmare Moon, declared a Lunar Jihad against Haysbro, and commandeered the entire Equestrian sky fleet to carpet bomb their headquarters. Haysbro has not commented on this development, primarily because all of its remaining employees are in the process of fleeing the country.