Good evening Equestria! This is your favorite being of chaos Discord here!
And your host with the most, DJ POn-3.
Coming to you live from 133.7 FM, Ponyville's premiere Dance, Dubstep, and Classical station!
First of all, I'd like to thank our host, DJ POn-3, for sharing the microphone for the broadcast this evening.
Pleasures all mine, chaos dude! And thank you for agreeing to sit down with yours truly for this exclusive interview!
My pleasure! Oh, and of course our hearts go out to the lovely Octavia, who mysteriously come down with Chaospox earlier today, opening up her microphone for me to use!
Sucks to be you, Octi!
Yes, yes, get well soon, Octavia! I am sure you will be up and broadcasting again before you know it. Seriously, you won't remember, or even believe, what Chaospox does to a pony! Of course, if I were you, I would never try to find out! Chaospox, the stuff of nightmares indeed!
Just horrible. Still, when that Bass dropped...
Ha ha! Yeah I know, right! And then her Tuba ate that French Horn and...
The flutes started swimming upstream! Classic!
Actually, I think they were Piccolos....
And looks like we have a new Octavia in the studio! Discord, being of technical corrections!
Grrrr....
So anyways Discord, what brings the physical embodiment of all things awesome and random to my studio today?
Well Vinyl, can I call you Vinyl?
Only if I can call you Disc!
Disc huh? I like it! Sounds like a radio personality to me. Let's try it out.
Good evening Equestria! This is Disc, slinging those sounds till the morning comes round, here on 133.7 FM's Midnight Rush.
Ha ha! Not bad Disc. Of course, you're radio name could just as easily be Disco! Try that one out!
Huh...okay let me see...
Hey there all you fly ponies, which ain't just my Pegasi brothers, if you know what I mean! This is Disco-Rad, coming to you live from the 133.7 FM studio, here, on The Groovy Hoof.
The Groovy Hoof? Fly? A ha ha ha ha ha! I never expected you to do so well on that. So tell me, do you listen to a lot of that kind of music, Disco-Rad?
Well, I am thousands of years old...
You'd have to be, to still listen to music like that! HA!
Ha ha, okay, that was good. I totally walked into that one. Well played, Vinyl Scratch.
Play well? It's what I do. But anyways, where were we? Ah yes! Disco-Rad, what brings you to my humble studio on this fine day?
Well Vinyl, you are aware that I was frozen in stone, before breaking free a year and a half ago?
Well, I remember the building the studio is in started demanding a salary around that time. I just assumed I was on something. Did you have something to do with it?
With you hallucinating, or the building demanding equal rights?
Either.
The building sounds like my work.
Damn, I figured as much. Guess that means it really is owed back pay...
Bummer. So anyways, I broke free from my prison, and began to turn Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world. Awesome right?
Totally!
Yeah, I thought so too. But there were these six mares under Celestia's hooves that came after me and froze me in stone again.
Bummer.
Totally! But then Celestia decides that maybe freezing me in a stone body suit for eternity is a bit of a harsh punishment for singing a song she didn't like, and she lets me go two months ago.
Just like that?
Well, technically under the threat that I go right back in the suit for the rest of time if I try to take over the world again.
Still, I know music critics suck, but that seems a bit much! Wait, take over the world? I thought you said you were singing a song?
Well, one basically begot the other. You really had to be there to see it.
Heh, sounds like one badass party to me!
Exactly what I called it! But no! Celestia said it was 'too loud', and 'too dangerous', and 'had too many zombie ponies seeking brains'...
Sigh.... Visionaries like us are rarely appreciated in our own lifetimes.... and zombies, you say? Like, the dead brought back to life?
Well, I needed to fill out the auditorium, and where else was I going to find seat fillers at such a late hour?
I would say to try the nearest dive bar, those ponies are usually so salt licked and cider squeezed by the end of the night that if you were to promise them some food after, they would pay you to sit in an auditorium and fill your seats!
Noted! So anyways, since I was freed from my stone suit a second time, I discovered how much more chaos I could get away with when I have friends to join in the madness with me. So I have been trying to change my public image a bit, posting a blog here, agreeing to play myself in a story there, and all to help ponies get over their fear of me.
And has it been working?
Well, yes and no. I have accrued ponies who have been following my blog or commenting about my greatness, but it doesn't quite seem to be enough. Almost nopony has had comments or questions for me directly. What I really want is to remove any misconceptions anypony might have about me, or about chaos in general. And if they don't ask me questions, then I don't see the point in continuing to try.
Okay Disco-Rad, I can understand how frustrating that must be, but why then did you come to me?
Well Vinyl, you have a huge audience, and I was hoping that we could see if any of them had Discord based questions? That and I am banned from the Canterlot library for a week because I was yelling so much...
Yelling in a library, Disco-Rad? You are just getting better and better in my book!
Okay let me see...yes, we have a caller on the line. Hello, you've reached the Vinyl Scratch and Octavia show, drop your question.
Hey there Vinyl and Discord, long time listener, first time caller. I was calling in because I was wondering if Draconequus are a species, or if Discord is the only one? And if it is a species, do you all have the same collection of animal body parts attached to you? Or is that also random?
Oh, a very good question Discord! What do you have to say to our caller?
Huh... that isn't common knowledge? Well okay then.
I am a Draconequus, which you could classify as my species. However, it is really only a label for the purpose of scientific classification, as I am the only one. I was summoned fully-formed to Equestria thousands of years ago, and apart from my hair going white and it no longer growing on top, I look the same as I did back then. Before that, I hate to admit it, but I don't really remember much. Bits and pieces really. My ghost writer is looking into it for me, and incorporating it into a story he is writing, called Eldritch Designs.
Oh sorry Vinyl, I suppose I shouldn't really advertise here should I?
Whatever dude, I don't care. Thanks caller for the question. Party on!
So Disco, are you really bald?
That's not important... uh, do we have any other callers?
Well, we have time for one more, but only if you spill. Are you totally bald? Or do you shave your head?
Why does it matter?
Well, that tells me whether you are a cool guy who shaved his head, or a lame old dude who just went shiny. And I think my mare listeners want to know. I don't know if you realize this Disco, but the mares think you are pretty hot, and I would hate to have your rep tarnished with the label of lame old bald dude.
So, what do you say?
I, uh...
Ha! I'm just playing with you dude, whatever your situation, you are working it!
Oh good. Wait, mares think I'm hot?
Yeah totally, you were voted number five on this year's top one hundred most sexy stallions in Cosmoo. Right between Bruce Mane and Stephen Coltbert.
Awesome! And ladies, this Draco stud is single....
Ha ha, okay lover boy, save it. Next caller, you're on The Vinyl Scratch and Octavia show, drop your question.
My question is for the both of you. How come nopony is asking Discord about this Chaospox that Octavia conveniently came down with? I have never even heard of the disease, and if anything, it sounds like something that Discord would have inflicted himself in order to get on the show! For Celestia's sake, the word chaos is in the name of the disease!
Well now, this is an interesting development. Discord? What say you?
I suppose it does look suspicious. I guess the best response I could give is that it is obviously not me! If I had infected Octavia with a random illness that caused somepony to break out in chaos, don't you think I would have named it something besides Chaospox? I mean really, that would mean that either I was an idiot or some kind of diabolical genius. Why not just tape a note to the cookie jar saying "Discord was here"?
Nope, truth is stranger than fiction. Ipso facto, I am innocent, and Octavia shouldn't eat cookies that radiate chaos energy anyways, and especially not in the morning! If that is how she got the Chaospox, that is. Not that I would know!
Hey, that's good enough for me. Thanks caller for the question. Party on!
All right then, I'm afraid that is all the time we have for today on the Vinyl Scratch and Octavia show, I'll be back here tomorrow, same time, same place.
I'd like to thank my guest Disco for being such a good sport, and for telling us all what we want to know! If you would like to hear more of Discord's wisdom, he is posting regularly online, please feel free to message him regularly.
Disco-Rad, you want to sign us off?
Thanks DJ POn-3! This has been a MaeceusMan production. The voices of Discord and Vinyl Scratch were provided by Discord and Vinyl Scratch, respectively. All other voices were just in your head. Please check with a doctor if you suspect you may be infected with Chaospox.
Together?
Sounds like a plan!
Party on Equestria!