Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shiiiiiiiiiii-
“Get in the closet. Get. Get. Get. Go. Closet!” You practically order.
“What? Why? Hey! Quit pushing me!” Dash fires back.
“Just get in the closet.”
“Fine! Just stop pushing me.”
You watch, and try not to snicker, as she stumbles back into the closet. You close the door most of the way, leaving it slightly open. Just in time, too, as the voice calls again as it comes up the stairs.
“Bro! Get up!” It yells.
“I’m up! I’m up! Jesus, quit yelling!” You respond as the source comes into your room.
“You’re up? Pfft. This early? No way man. And why are you so stiff? Relax. I’ve walked in on you doing worse things dude.”
“SHUT UP!”
“No.”
“Dammit. Why are you so annoying?”
“Because it’s my job?”
Have I ever told you that I like your brother?
Fuck off, brain.
We could rule the world.
Fuck. Off. Brain.
Oh fine. Spoil my fun, why don’t you.
“What are you hiding bro?”
Your face flushes. “W-what?”
“You’re hiding something. You’re NEVER up and dressed this early. EVER.”
“I’m not hiding anything. Heh.” You smile awkwardly.
You hear a shuffle come from your closet, and glance over. At least your brother didn’t hear anything.
“Ha. Right. And I’m a fuckin’ fairy,” he quips, sarcastic.
“Oh? You finally admit it?” You smirk.
“Shut up.”
He looks over to your closet and asks, raising an eyebrow, “So, whatcha hidin’?”
“Nothing man. Now what’ll it take for you to leave?”
You look around the room, trying to find something to make him get lost. He already knows you’re hiding something, and he never gives up on finding shit out. You notice your Xbox, and instantly shut that idea down. That is the last thing you would give to him. Unfortunately, he follows your eyes around the room.
“I’ll leave if you give me your 360.” He smirks.
“Oh no. No no no no no. You’re not getting that.” You respond.
“Alright, I guess I’ll just start searching your room.”
You sigh, “One week. You can have it for one week. Now go.”
He smiles a bit, and nods. As you go to pull all the wires and some games together, you hear louder rustling in the closet. You both look over and then back at each other. With a thud, Rainbow falls forward out of the closet.
“Ow.” She grunts.
Your brother’s mouth falls open, and slowly turns into a shit eating grin. He turns to you, smirking.
“So... you were hiding something.”
“Damn. Fine, what’ll it take now?” You respond.
“Your Xbox for the rest of the month, and fifteen minutes with her.” He smirks once more.
“Don’t make me put my fist through your kidney.” You hiss, glaring.
“Alright, alright. Gimme your Xbox for a month, and your car for the next two weeks.”
“MY CAR?! ARE YOU INSANE?!”
“Alright...I guess I’ll just tell mom you snuck in some chick for a quickie.”
“And I should worry why? I’m an adult.”
“But it’s not your house, and she’ll still kill you.”
“Touche."
"So... gimme the keys."
"No."
"Suit yourself. Hey mom!"
You put your younger brother in a headlock, and cover his mouth. You sit him down, and keep his mouth covered.
"Don't tell mom. You’ve got it all wrong. We didn’t do anything.” You say, taking away your hand.
"Then why is she half naked and in your shirt? Riddle me that, Batman." He responds.
"If I could trust you to keep a secret, I'd tell you."
"I'm trustworthy!" He argues.
"Sure. And what happened with your girlfriend?"
"How'd you know about that?"
"I have my sources."
Now he looks scared. It looks to you like he's been keeping that secret somehow. Odd, considering that you wouldn't trust him half as far as you could throw him with a secret that big. You smirk as the tables take a sudden turn in your favor. You release your hold on his neck, and notice that Rainbow has been intently watching the back and forth with your brother.
“H-how much more do you know?” He asks.
“Lots.” You say, a devious smile growing on your face.
"You wouldn't say anything, right?" He asks, shaking a bit.
"You won't tell mom?"
"No! I Promise."
"Then I'll stay quiet."
You look over to the girl on her knees. She’s staring at both of you. She has an absolutely adorable look on her face which also clearly expresses confusion.
D'aaaaawwwww
Did you really just do that?
Yes I did, brain.
I really hate you right now.
Awwww, I love you too my grey matter friend!
Fuck you. Human.
Rainbow blinks, “Um, hi again.”
“Dude...why’d she dye her hair like that?” Your brother asks.
“Huh? I didn’t dye my mane!”
“Mane? What are you, a horse?” Your bro turns to you, “You have weird taste in chicks.”
“And you’re a virgin. Now shut up, and get the hell out.” With that, you get up and push him out the door.
"Hey! I'm not a-." You slam the door in his face, and laugh a bit.
You turn and face Rainbow, who still has an adorable look of confusion on her face.
"Who was that?" She wonders.
"The devil. Also known as my little brother." You reply.
She blinks, “Was that supposed to be funny?”
BURN!
Shut up, Kelso.
You sigh, “A little bit, but it’s true either way. Sorry you had to see that.”
She laughs now. She probably found that quarrel funny. “What did he mean by fifteen minutes with me?”
When the question comes, your face flushes. “Nevermind that. You don’t wanna know.”
He'd only need ten seconds anyway. Heuhuehehe.
Don't insult my future apprentice, human.
Both of you cringe as you hear a deafening shriek from below you. Then some very fast and harsh footsteps coming up the stairs. The door practically flies off its hinges as your mother barges into your room. She looks directly at you, and her expression is one of anger. The fires of Hell itself are in that glare. Her head turns, and she gasps at the sight of Rainbow in nothing but your shirt. You’re staring at her face, and she mouths “what the fuuu.” That asshole behind her has his grin back, and mom’s exchanging glances with both of you again.
"You little shit." You growl, stepping towards your brother.
"Hold it right there." Your mother orders. “What is the meaning of this? Who is she?”
You sigh, “It’s not what you think, and it’s entirely out of context.”
You'd better have a clever story. I'm not going to the loony bin because of you, human.
I'm thinking I need to be there anyway. My brain has a mind of its own!
Quiet, human.
“Then what is it?” she yells.
“I honestly don’t know either. She’s just a friend here...”
"A friend with benefits. Am I right?" Your sibling smirks.
"Shut up Mark." You and your mom say in unison.
"Who is she and what is she doing here? I want an answer, now!" Your furious mother exclaims.
“A friend. And I don’t know!”
“What do you mean you ‘don’t know’?”
“Stop!” Rainbow screams. “Please, just stop.” The two of you blink, and look at Rainbow. She looks fed up, and stares straight at you.
“I’m not from here. I’m not a human."
You look at your mother. She blinks, and looks confused. She turns to you with an expression that says, "Which asylum did she escape from?"
"If you can't explain what's going on, I'm calling the police." Your mom says.
"I can explain. It's just a really long story." You reply.
“All ears.”
“She’s a pony. From another dimension."
"A pony?"
"Yes. A pegasus named Rainbow Dash."
“A pegasus?”
"Yes. A pegasus."
And so, the next hour consists of reliving the events of the last two months in Equestria. You tell them just about everything. Becoming a pony. Learning to fly. The few adventures you had gone on, and the mishaps you had gotten into with Rainbow.
“Two months? But you were at dinner last night."
"I know. I don't get it either. I guess there's some crazy time thing between here and there."
“You’re just insane. That couldn’t have happened. Dress her up and send her home.”
"I'm serious, mom. If we had done anything, why would I make up a lie that elaborate? Plus, do you even see any women's clothing?”
"I... well... no. But you could be hiding it! Besides, I don't see any evidence of how you could have gotten back from this 'Other dimension'."
"Skittles, is that portal still open?" You ask Rainbow.
"It was a few minutes ago. You can check."
You look at your mom once more, "You want proof? I'll show you proof."
You step over to the closet door, and throw it open. As hoped, the flowing and spiraling orange oval is still there.
Mark and your mother gasp.
"How's that for proof?"
They just stand there, stunned. Both your mother and brother mouth, “the fuuu...” You shut your closet door and their attention turns to Dash, and then you.
Shrugging, you say, “Welp. Told you. I have no explanation.”
"But how'd she get here?" Your mom asks.
"I, uh, fell through! Yeah, that's it. Fell through."
Your mother crosses her arms, and gets a sort of cocky look on her face as she looks straight at Dash. It's a look that says "You're lying and I know you're lying."
“N-no no no. I really fell through it.”
"Suuuuure. But...since I really have no choice but to believe my son, I'll try to help you fit in."
You blink, surprised at how quickly your mother... accepted the fact. You honestly expected her to question it more. But then again the evidence is pretty solid. There is a portal in the closet after all. Before you can say anything, your mother and Dash are gone.
"I think I'll go...help them." Your brother says.
"Shut up Mark."