//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Goblin Diplomacy // Story: The Shadow Of A Broken Heart // by WanderingPony //------------------------------// The good news, when one is invading the home of a goblin clan, is that going in through one of the numerous "back doors" means one meets surprisingly few goblins at first. The bad news is that goblins are quite fond of keeping their pets there instead. The air around Sombra's invasion force filled with chittering, squeaking bats as the noisy tromping distrubed the entire flock. While more interested in leaving than biting, the winged rodents managed to utterly ruin any hope of surprise as they left irritated warriors slapping the stone walls and each other in an effort to swat the nuisances out of the way. Sombra himself laid about with the flat of his sword, mostly managing to keep a bit of clear space free of furry missiles dive-bombing his horn. "So much for simple terror...", thought the unicorn as one of his warriors managed to backhand another through a limestone pillar. Switching to cracking the broadside of his weapon across the skulls and backs of thrashing minions, order restored itself a few minutes after the last of the bats swirled into the tunnels below. Seeker rolled it's massive eye and spit out a fuzzy wing it'd been gnawing on. "Woooould fiiiind goblinthings, buuuuuut...", as it pointed towards the far end of the cavern. A double line of armored and crossbow-wielding goblins stood blocking the way, pointing their weapons with the professional's stance that says "open for business, meat ground here". "...aaaaaalreeeaaady heeeerrre." "Perfect.", thought Sombra. A familiar form hopped up and down angrily behind the ranks. "That's the horny demon that took my sword! He's straight from Tartarus, he is! Kill em, shoot em dead, blow him fulla holes!", Proferlix screeched. Sombra took the moment to step to the front. "So, is HE in charge? What was his name....Piddlelix? I could follow him for a league as long as I was downwind." Some of the weapons wavered as their owners tried not to laugh. A few failed, elbowing their mates. "He was weak enough to call me boss and stupid enough to try and make a deal behind your backs. He tried to screw you out of as much of the wealth as he could while thinking we would put him in charge. He tried to treat me like a child. Pathetic." The swordbelt around Sombra's shoulders tore itself free to skid across the gravel and guano-covered floor, coming to a halt just before the front line of goblin swords and axes. Proferlix's blade slid an inch out of the scabbard "Here's his sword back. I came to find better. Better steel, better goblins, ones that have enough brains to make a real deal and not have their sword taken without breaking a sweat. He trades like a moogle and he wets his bed like one too." More laughter. Proferlix stopped hopping and stared hot death at Sombra through his mask. "I came for goblins that can smell the gold in your teeth in a minute and pry it out the next. Goblins that want to be be bosses. Greedy goblins. Goblins that want to take over everything they see, then look for more so they can take it too. Crafty goblins. The ones that can make me a sword as long as I am, armor that fits my mountains here-", Sombra gestured to the Kindred looming behind him, "-so I can crush and break anyone stupid enough not to want it done MY way.". Not a spark of magic was in his eyes or words, and yet Sombra had the crowd of goblins enthralled. All but one. "WHATTA LOAD OF LIZARD CRAP!", Proferlix spat and hurled a hissing, smoking ball of iron at Sombra's face. Sombra effortlessly flung the orb back at Proferlix with his horn, jamming it into the goblin's breastplate and sending him rolling down the tunnel. The goblin managed one, final squawk of frustration and denial as the two found a resting place. The resting place was also final. With a somewhat muffled detonation, the goblin bomb disintergrated most of Proferlix into a greasy burn mark on the floor, leaving his head to fly back in a tumble. It hit the ground at Sombra's feet with an audible CLACK, the dead jaws clipping off the goblin's tongue before sending the smoking helm rolling into the Kindred ranks. The demons proceeded to amuse themselves with a bit of goblin skullball. The goblins simply stared at the grisly spectacle. "Oh, look. Someone stupid enough not to do it my way. Now, do I have myself some tough, crafty, greedy rich minons or do I have more skulls for my OTHER minons to play with?" Sombra welcomed his first goblin mercenaries to the Shadow Kingdom with open hooves. In two days, he had dozens of goblins scavenging the ruins of the Empire for gold, gems, and whatever scraps of wealth had survived the apocalypse. Two weeks after that, four neighboring clans had added themselves to the ranks- three without bloodshed, one that was stupid enough to resist and ended up "joining" with only those too old or too young to fight. The rest of the clan decorated Sombra's new throne room as empty masks and helmets. What other remains had gone to feed the cave fish, and rumors of the horned demon lord that had come from below began to spread far and wide...and had come to rule. The demon spent his time studying magical crystals and communing with evil spirits when not leading goblins to deep veins of metal to forge, or to pillage the icy tombs of other "pohnee" demons for their strange treasures. Many awaited the demon's coming. Dark and hungry goblins, awaiting the call to cruelty and the riches they could squeeze from the weak-and the moogles, who peered fearfully from their borders, wondering when the beast would stalk their tunnels and how they could stop it...with a few of both races who only prepared for the wisest course- to escape the iron chains of the Shadow King.