//------------------------------// // Doghouses and Robot Dogs // Story: Ponies and Interdimensional Travel // by Lain_UX //------------------------------// "Alright, before I start on this lengthy explanation, I would like to ask you something. Why are you so tense today Fluttershy? I mean, you seem like the kind of pony-that is your species, right--that would keep to herself and take care of animals. I mean, when we peeked on you, you seemed very calm. Why are you so tense?" "Well, first off, I have peeping toms in my town." "Oh really? Who were they?" "Two hairless monkeys." She said this with a condescending tone. A little creepy too. "And one of them slammed my head with a table leg." "Oh, yeah, sorry." "Second, I have been taken advantage of lately. Sorry for everything else, I'm usually not this...outgoing. But I can trust you, right?" She imposed that we wanted her trust, so I went along with it. "Yeah. You can trust us." "Can you start on telling me what that metal dog is?" "Oh sure! It's a creation of mine, using my Technical and Analytical Lifeform Operating System. It is pretty smart for a robot dog, and it's the only invention of mine who didn't manage to blow up yet." "BARK BARK" "But he sucks at being an actual dog, though." "INSULT RECIEVED. LOVE FOR MASTER DECREASING" "And it isn't very good at hiding it's emotions, or lack of it. Robots don't have emotions, because they're simple programs. This dog can tell you anything about our history you need to know. There are computers in our world, which I actually have right now. I have a laptop, which is a compact version. Well, it's dead right now." "Not dead dead, but the battery is drained." I quickly added to the look of horror on her face. Am I going to see these horror looks everywhere I go? "Mind getting me some water, Fluttershy? We were mountain climbing the entire day." "Oh, no problem." She then flies to the kitchen, and turns on the tap. "Taylor?" "Yeah?" "Burn any incriminating evidence, by evidence I mean porn and pony. Burn it like it's the Iran attack on the U.S Embassy." He takes my laptop and searches for a table lamp to track down an outlet. He plugs it in and quickly deletes the wallpaper and folders with the words 'Pony', 'Porn', and 'Pony Porn.' Having succeeded that, Fluttershy glides in with two glasses of water. "Thanks, Flutters. Can I call you that? I'm not sure the word 'shy' accurately depicts you right now." She nodded again. I guess I invented another nodding trend. "Well, we're 'humans'. Basically, we're hairless apes, but with much more intelligence and reasoning, and we have thumbs. They can go back and forth like this." I showed off some action packed thumb twiddling. "We invented many things like this here robot dog. Sadly, our greatest strength and weakness is war. We constantly attack other nations for money and power. Lots of people where I come from, Earth, suck. Not like, suck air, I'm saying they're bad people. There are some good people, but they don't show up quite as often as you would want them to be. Here is my laptop. You can borrow it if I can borrow a room for me and Taylor to sleep in tonight. Plus, I'll teach you how to use it. Do we have a deal?" Fluttershy hesitated for a bit. The last two hours of her life today was pretty nerve-wracking. "You've got yourself a deal." "BARK BARK RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FLUTTERSHY AND TAL INCREASING "TALOS! NO! BAD DOG. Besides, Taylor is the one who has a crush on Fluttershy!" "Do not!" "Do too!" "Do not!" "DO TOO!" "STOP! If, that's okay with you two." Her shyness and coat color was coming back. I'm not sure if that was natural, a side effect from Discord's Touch, or just some eye trick." "Alright, fine." said Taylor. "Also, we're omnivores, would it hurt to say that?" "Not at all! Lots of my animals eat meat in addition to plants. I have some eggs for breakfast if you...would like some...is that okay?" "Sure!" said me. "Where will I sleep?" ~~~ Somewhere in Ponyville, a certain aquamarine pony was edging ever so closely to the far edge of town. She pulled out her binoculars and peered inside Fluttershy's cottage. She knew her search instruments would work, she knew that this would happen. Peering inside the cottage only made her more excited with every movement the humans made. Not one, but two humans! She was exploding with excitement, but she knew no body would believe her, except maybe Fluttershy... ~~~ Night 1. 10:34 PM Expedition Log Entry #001 After our big fight, we ate some salads and went to bed. I figured one more peek wouldn't hurt, and I was right. Fluttershy has now trusted us completely. No watching or anything. She was sound asleep in bed. Glad to see the fighting was over, but I still have a nagging feeling there will be sequels. Tal, Earth's first Bronynaut. Over and Out. ~~~ "Tal honey! We're back from our trip! How is our favorite little girl doing? ...Tal? Tal honey? We brought McDonalds!" Two parents walked into Tal's room, looking for him. "Oh...my...God...TAL! WHERE ARE YOU?" The mother was starting to lose her shit, almost literally, for she had the need to go to the bathroom after long trips, just like everyone else. "Calm down Amy. He'll show up soon." said the father. "I can't calm down, Peter! Look at this! He's usually messy, but not this messy! It's like he was kidnapped or something! AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" "AMY! CALM DOWN! It's probably some toy or something." "DO YOU KNOW OUR CHILD? HE'S PROBABLY GONE AND BLOWN SOMETHING UP! THIS IS THE PORTAL THINGY HE WAS TALKING ABOUT!" "...You're right. Why is the carpet in the middle of the room torn apart? It's like the house leaned towards this spot!" Suddenly, a note fell out of the ceiling. It was a red envelope with the words, 'Code Black Hole' on it. Amy took the note and opened it. A picture fell out, and a note fell out as well. "Oh my God Peter, he prepared for this!" The note read as follows: "Hey Mom, and Dad. Hopefully you won't read this, but if you are, my portal has had a shortage. It shouldn't happen, but it reversed time in this world, and reset some things. All I know from the first shortage is now a dream, but the second shortage is very much real. If you are reading this, then a black hole has opened up my floor and sucked me in. If Taylor was with me on this event, he went with me too. TALOS is also with me, God knows where we are now. First guess, well, look at the picture." The picture had six cartoon ponies on it. Written on the bottom of the Polaroid-like photo was as written, 'My Little Pony, or my not-so-secret fantasy.' The note continued. "I really didn't want this to happen the way it did. I am probably in Ponyville, in the crazy world I obsessed over. We're prepared, of course, we have an emergency bag with my laptop and food supplies as well. If this happened on the day of March 5th, 2013, your trip, I'm sorry I couldn't take care of Cara. I really wish I thought this out more, but if you are reading this, and I am missing, don't send out a search party. Just sit and wait. I'll find some way to make contact. I love you." Amy didn't really know what else to do but just sit down and weep. Peter sat down next to her. This was going to be one interesting night. ~~~ "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Taylor and Fluttershy were woken up to the screech that was Tal's wakeup call. "IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP TO A BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" "Taylor, can you please ask him to stop, if that's okay with him?" "Nothing against his will is okay with him. Usually I just let him ride it out, but, y'know, this isn't Earth anymore." "NOTHING LIKE CLEARING YOUR LUNGS TO EXPERIENCE THE FRESH AIR OF A NEW WORLD NAMED, what is it called?" "Equestria. You're in Ponyville." said Fluttershy. "Oh, right. NEW WORLD NAMED PONYVILLE. WHO'S READY FOR BREAKFAST?" "Not me." said Taylor and Fluttershy. "Besides, it's... 8:37 in the morning. Go back to sleep." "NO WAY! I HAVEN'T RECOVERED FROM ANYTHING YESTERDAY, PLUS YELLING HELPS ME CALM DOWN!" "WELL IT'S NOT HELPING US EITHER DUMMY!" said Taylor. "LALALALALALAAAA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" "Remind me why I let you two stay here instead of some other pony's house." "BECAUSE WE'RE THE ONLY HUMANS YOU GOT APPARENTLY LALALALA" "...right." Fluttershy seemed more comfortable with us now, but much more annoyed. "I'LL STOP YELLING WHEN WE GET BREAKFAST!" "TAL, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, I'LL DELETE YOUR DOG'S OPERATING SYSTEM!" yelled Taylor in his serious tone. "..." "Good." "What time is it now?" said Fluttershy. She was rubbing her forehead with her hoof in a slow, agonizing manner. "Ugh. About... 8:46. I'll cook breakfast, so, what would be in the cupboards that isn't totally vegetarian?" "No no. It's alright. I can cook something. Eggs and toast?" "Aww sweet you have eggs and toast in Equestria? Do you happen to have butter?" "I think I can manage." said Fluttershy with a smile. She was quickly warming up to them, more so to Taylor (much to his inner brony's gladness) rather than Tal. Tal...was a bit too weird for Fluttershy here. She put off the argument as something she may have done to Angel once in a while, but she didn't completely forgive Tal just yet. She had some chores for him to do. Speaking of which, where's Angel? ~~~ Angel heard the entire ordeal. Fighting, yelling, clobbering. He didn't know what to do. He loved Fluttershy like a mother, yet, she forgot to buy carrots for his daily salad. Hmm...decisions, decisions. He finally ended up not helping her, but instead waiting it out and hoping for the best. He didn't trust the new roommates as much as Fluttershy did. They can't yell at her like that, only he can do that! He then faked sleep to avoid an awkward situation. ~~~ "Hey Fluttershy, these eggs are great! How'd you get so good at cooking these?" "Not all of my animals are herbivores, you know." "Oh yeah." I continued munching on the wonderful eggs that were made. Usually, eggs don't have too much taste for me. Not these, these eggs were cooked with the finest of talent. Pinkie Pie isn't the only good cook around here. I guess with so much practice she could cook something special. "So Tal, want to explain why you wake up like this, today, of all days?" "It's not every day you pop up in another world." "True, true." said Taylor, in a casual tone. All in all, we were pretty satisfied with what we ate. The eggs tasted like eggs should be, and the toast states in a very explicit manner, that it indeed, tastes like toast. Do I need to write paragraphs about the taste? They tasted like they should. Imagine your mother cooking the best toast ever, and it is the textbook taste of toast. There. You imagined it. Need more explanation? "Fluttershy, any chance you have a intelligent friend, someone, or somepony who could possibly explain to us what predicament we're in?" I said this so fast I can't believe my mouth didn't catch fire. It was a little sore though. "...Wha?" said Fluttershy, poor thing. "*nomnom* He asked you for someone who is smart, and could tell us what pickle we're in." Taylor said, nomming on toast. He wasn't done with his thirds yet, no siree. He knew what was up, because energy is what he really needed today. He somehow knew that today was going to be pretty long, but lots of things will happen too. "Um...I think that would be Twilight Sparkle. She is really smart, and her house is a minute walk from here." "Great. Is there anypony who could sniff us out and catch us? I don't want to immediately become the new sensation...not just yet anyways. People will freak out." "Not that I know of. Taylor, are you done with your food?" "MPHGH MPH HMPGH MPHGH" "He said he's done." said me. "Weird way to say it though." said Fluttershy. "MMMPH YOU" "Ignore him." I said. "Alright, you sure you're ready? I'm calling Twilight now. Also, if you don't mind, may I ask a question about...wearing clothes?" "Oh, yeah, we wear clothes because our private parts are too revealing, so yeah. Humans wear clothes. For like, until bathtime. Then we put on new clothes." Taylor said. I've never heard the explanation for clothes so short from a fanfiction. Those things take like, three paragraphs. "Oh, okay, nice to know." We then set off on our wonderful journey to Twilight's house. Pinkie was in her house/bakery, but she eyed us before we could hide. I did the only sensible thing and waved back. She smiled from ear to ear and slowly lowered under the window. Shit. "Here we are! I have to go take care of Angel now, just tell Twilight what you told me." "Thanks for the food and housing Fluttershy!" I said. I'm going to miss her, but who cares? I'm about to knock on best pony's door! Taylor reached for the door in an attempt to knock, but I slapped his hand. "Taylor, it's my turn." "Screw you Tal." Knock. Knock. Knock. "Really Tal? You yell at me for doing that, and then you do that?" I paid no attention, because I heard trotting coming up to the door. "Hello? Who is i--" She was cut off by the sight of us. She immediately fainted. The last thing she saw were two hairless apes perching over her and saying, in slow-motion: "Hey Twilight, y'okay?"