Princess Celestia plodded through her quiet castle, casting a long sigh into the bleak night. Magical curlers were strewn throughout her ethereal mane, and visible bags protruded underneath her normally sprightly eyes. She was still dressed in her royal bathrobe, her golden crown hanging loosely on her head. And to make things worse, she was in a mood that matched her appearance. Old, tired, and sour. Unsurprisingly, the normally benevolent sun goddess wasn’t much of a night pony.
It wasn’t usual for her to be woken up in the middle of the evening, and like most ponies, Celestia didn’t exactly leap for joy for having her slumber suddenly cut short. And whenever she was woken up, it was usually due to either one of two things. The kingdom was under attack, or Luna had some random question about how to work the stove or something. Usually, it was the latter.
Finally, the sun goddess came up to her throne room doors, throwing them open with her magic. “Yes Luna, what is it this time?” she uttered condescendingly, rolling her eyes. “It’s not the stove again, is it?”
To her surprise, it wasn’t just Luna waiting by the throne, but another pegasus as well. It was one of the Royal Guards, and a high-ranking lieutenant judging from the markings on his golden armor. For a moment, Celestia glanced down at her garments with raised brows. But she quickly regained her regal composure, and said, “Oh, I’m sorry lieutenant. If I had known we’d have a guest, I’d have put on something more…appropriate.” Then turning to Luna, she added through clenched teeth, “What’s this about?”
“I am afraid something important has cometh up, sister,” Luna replied, her eyebrows creased in worry. “Something I thought you should know about. Sergeant, please repeat what thou told me.”
Giving a slight courteous bow, the guard said, “Well Your Highnesses, my squad was stationed out by Equestrian borders. We were doing routine patrol near Cragslane Rock around midnight when we found…this.” With his wing, he pointed to a small purple bag sitting at the foot of the throne. It had no markings on it, just a small metal clasp on the front. It was also unusually big for a saddlebag, and Celestia could have sworn it was…throbbing.
“What is it?” the princess asked, walking up to examine the mysterious bag. “Food? Gems? Weapons? Opiat-?”
Suddenly the clasp burst open, and to Celestia’s surprise, it was not food, gems, or illicitly gotten substances. Instead, a cluster of furry creatures scuttled out, crawling and playing all over the marble floor.
“A bag of…ferrets?”
With his head low, the guard replied quietly, “I’m afraid so, Your Highness.”
The sun goddess could only stare at the odd little animals carelessly climbing all over her regal throne. One actually tried to climb up and become very good friends with her leg, but Celestia quickly shook him off with a disgusted scoff. She was clearly not amused, narrowing her tired eyes and curling her lips into a pout. And even more surprising, Luna seemed to be the complete opposite, pacing around the room with her eyes closed in thought. “I-I’m sorry Luna, am I missing something? This isn’t another one of your pranks again, is it?”
“No, I can assure you I am being completely serious…this time.”
Pointing to the animals with one clasped to her hoof, Celestia muttered, “Then why is there a bag of ferrets defecating on my pristine castle floor?”
Somehow ignoring the last part of her sister’s sentence, Luna began with a sigh, “You see sister, this is the third bag filled with wild animals in three weeks. At first, it seemed somepony had left them there in the wild. But last week, we found three more weasels inside of a crate. And as it would turn out, they matched the description of three weasels that were being taken to a zoo down in Manehatten before they were reported missing. They, like these ferrets, were found near the border. And a mile away, guards found a fire pit still glowing with embers.”
“Are you trying to tell me that…”
“Somepony is snatching animals and smuggling them illegally across the border into Veneighzuela?”
Princess Celestia stood in silence for a moment with a blank stare before quickly replying, “…Yes. That’s…exactly what I was thinking.”
“Doesn’t thou see it, sister? We cannot let this sort of thing get out of hand! Think of all the poor foals who look forward to the zoo, only to have their dreams cruelly crushed when they find their favorite animals missing! It is unacceptable! It is inconceivable! It is diabolical!” Princess Luna exclaimed, a ferret nibbling on her ear.
“And what exactly do you plan on doing?”
Smacking another ferret off her snout, Luna replied, “I hath already sent guards to be on the lookout for anypony wandering about the wilderness at night. Patrols are guarding the borders, scouring the land to make sure nopony gets through. I believe we hath everything under control.”
“Good…good…I don't even know why I'm needed...” Celestia began, her head slowly nodding off. “Now can you please clean up this mess? It’s starting to smell like a petting zoo in here.” And with that, she slowly crept out of the throne room with one of the brown animals hitching a ride on her back.
With most of the critters levitating in the air or clasping onto her head, Princess Luna said with a determined look in her eye, “Whoever is leading this—ouch!--must be the most cunning, devious, sneaky mastermind we have seen in a long, long time. But I will get you—ow! –you hear me! Mark my words fiend, those foals will get their zoo—ow! Mother of me, that hurt…”