Poking Pinkie Pie in the Pooper

by KingofSquirrelz

Blinkie and Inkie get Kinky

“I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain.”
 
Your voiced echoed out through the streets. There wasn’t a single soul in sight, but your voice could have been heard from miles around.
 
Nothing could get you down off your euphoric high. The question that had been plaguing you had been answered, and if it was possible, your world would soon be in balance again. Well, for the most part. There was a long shot that it wasn’t even possible, but you had hope.
 
 “What a glorious feeling, and I'm happy again!”
 
Now though, you had to check if it was even possible. You had some small knowledge of how the sun and moon worked in this world. Nothing more than the average citizen of Equestria, but you had an insider, specifically a two foot tall dragon, who owed you a favor for getting him a very… intimate photo of a local dressmaker. Cider makes mares do the craziest things, like pose in erotic positions on a dare.
 
Truth or dare = best game ever.
 
You pushed through the doors of the local library. Never in your life had you loved the smell of books so much. Alas, there was no one there. Scratch that, Gummy was there, sitting on the counter staring right at you. His ever-piercing stare was one that could bore straight into your soul.
 
The library looked the same, although now there was an innate smell of animals. The walls were lined high with books of every shape and color. Nothing that was out of the ordinary, at least nothing you would spot.  You make your way past the docile crocodile to the shelves. Glancing over every title in the hopes of spotting something that would help your inquiry.
 
Nothing.
 
You needed Spike; he would know where to find the book you needed. Gummy was there, so that meant he was either here, or he was neglecting his duties. That sounded more like something Rainbow Dash would do, not the usually dependable Spike. Which brought up more questions, like, where are all the other animals?
 
A sly grin grew on your face. You needed to check on the situation, animals may be in danger. You totally had to go upstairs and snoop around. It was your heroic duty; Fluttershy might even reward you for saving one of the innocent creatures. You would never ever go into Twilight’s room to snoop through her personals, especially in a situation like this.
 
You didn’t waste any time climbing up the stairs to snoop around. You always did wonder about the unicorn, she never showed any interest in anything sensual, and even avoided the subject during the rare occasions you ever talked with her. You were more or less curious if she was interested in anything at all.
 
You crack open the door with the black moon burnt into the wood. First thing that struck you was the smell, you knew that smell very well, the smell of semen. The room went silent as you peeked around the door.
 
You found Spike, Angel and Winona. All three were wrestling on the bed. There was no way that Winona was getting double dipped by a rabbit and a dragon. Nope that cute lovable puppy would never be into that. Her fur wasn’t covered in dragon spunk, nope; it was sweat, really thick, stringy, white sweat. Obviously they were sandwiching her because she was cold.
 
Yup, perfect logic there.
 
You shut the door again, it was obviously a private wrestling match and you didn’t have tickets. Didn’t want to be rude and intrude on a private affair. Well, you found Spike, but he was busy so you decided to search the books again, hoping the image of Spike and Angel being balls deep in Winona would fade from your memory.
 
Several minutes pass as you scan the books, when the local dragon finally makes his way downstairs to greet you. He wasn’t covered in dog fur anymore.
 
“Please don’t tell Applejack,” was the very first thing Spike said. Great way to start out a conversation.
 
You didn’t make eye contact, your eyes still glazed over the books in hopes of forgetting what you just saw.
 
“I won’t say anything… Everyone has their secrets, even me.  Just remember to put a sock on the door or something.”
 
Spike stood there staring at you back like you were some weird creature from another planet. You were, but you were going to ignore that small detail.
 
“Aren’t you going to scold me? Tell me what I did was sick and wrong? Threaten to tell Twilight, or something like that?” Spike looked over at Gummy “Gummy was supposed to give a warning if anyone came into the library.”

Gummy just blinked in response.
 
You really just wanted to drop the subject, but the little dragon seemed very insistent on an answer.
 
“Spike I saw the huge smile on Winona’s face so it was consensual. Everyone needs release in some way shape or form, and I am sure you aren’t going to get any from Rarity anytime soon. If this is a interspecies question, I would like to remind you that I have been in such a relationship for almost a year.  So why should I object to you trying to skewer Applejack’s dog.”
 
Even to you that sounded just a bit weird.
 
“Hey, Rarity might come around…” Spike paused for a moment. “She just been busy trying to get all her feelings sorted.”
 
“Yes… well all of that aside for right now I need to get me a book on lunar events. Preferably within the last thousand years or so.”
 
Spike hopped to attention, far too quick for your preference.
 
“Anything you say, Spike is at your service!” He took a step closer to you. “Um, just so we’re clear, you’re not going to tell anyone right?”
 
You roll your eyes.
 
“No Spike, I’m not going to say anything about... that event. Just hurry, I am sure I need to open the afternoon for dinner rush and I want to get a hour or so in before I am due back—“
 
Bam
 
Spike slammed a thick book onto the wooden counter. Not out of anger, but the size of the tome was monumental. The cover was glittering with runes that depicted the moon.
 
“Here you go!” Spike said in a tone that was far too eager to please. “Every event involving the moon for the last thousand years, it dates back to when Celestia took power after she banished Nightmare Moon. What did you need this for anyway, some kind of research project?”
 
You could tell now that Spike was the one trying butter you up so that you really wouldn’t talk about his ventures.
 
“Yes, sort of.” You said as you cracked opened the large book. Surprisingly there was no dust or any other sign of aging, most likely the book was enchanted. “I’m working on a present to give to my herd, so that they always know that I’ll be there for them.”
 
Spike raised a brow, “Oh… wait. Why do you need a lunar calendar for that?”
 
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to give them the moon.” You said a serious tone of voice.
 
“Ah, right. That makes perfect sense.” Spike deadpanned. “You know you can’t give them the moon, right? That’s all Princess Luna, and I’m sure she would have something to say about it.”
 
You shook your head. “No, well let me rephrase that, I want to give my herd a lunar event called a Harvest Moon.”
 
Spike walked to your side with honest curiosity. “What’s a harvest moon?”
 
You lean back from the book and try to think of the best way to describe the celestial occurrence.
 
“Well it’s a rare lunar event from my world that happens once every couple of years. The moon turns a beautiful shade of crimson. I have never seen one since I came here so I wanted to see if it was possible or not.”
 
Spike’s mouth dropped a tiny bit. “Your moon changes color!? That’s amazing! But you don’t need to look in that book; everypony knows that the moon has never changed color before. Luna does alter the stars every once in awhile, but that’s about it.”
 
You leaned forward in your chair and star to examine a blue stone that was sitting on the counter. It was nice to know that Equestria had never had a harvest moon before, now though came the question if it was possible.
 
“Where did you get the idea to change the moon?” Spike questioned.
 
Your mind shifted to the awkward question. There was no way you wanted to tell him you got the idea from a circular hot spring that was lightly dyed blood red from virginal sex.
 
“It just came to me…”  that was technically the truth. “So you said Princess Luna controls the moon. Can she change the color of the moon?”
 
Spike shrugged, “I don’t know, it might be possible. She paints the sky on a magical canvas. I suppose if she used the color red she could change the color of the moon. I could send a letter to her if you wanted.”
 
You deadpanned, “Seriously Spike, you can do that? Seriously no kidding around, would you send her a letter for me?”
 
Spike smirked, “Keep what you saw before our little secret, and I’ll write you a letter that will put all the others I have ever written to shame.” Spike said with pride. “Just as long as you keep quiet, seriously, you have no idea how good this caretaking gig is. I get to spend a week with Winona and I’m getting paid for it.”
 
You only nod at the statement; it was a really weird feeling of agreement. No one was getting hurt and all the animals were enjoying some really weird orgy while their owners were away. It wasn’t your business, and you weren’t going to talk about it anyway, but now you can profit from it.
 
So why not.
 
“Spike, take a letter.” You had always wanted to say that. You turned to Spike and saw that he already had quill and parchment in his claws.
 
Where the hell did him get those from? He’s standing in the middle of the room. First Cheerilee now Spike… magic paper?
 
“Dear Princess Luna.” You stand there and think for a moment. “Spike how would you think would be a nice way to ask ‘Please let me use your moon’, without it sounding like some little kid asking for candy?”
 
Spike pondered for a moment. He didn’t know Princess Luna very well. He had only spoken with her twice, both times at royal events. She mostly talked with Celestia, and shied away from everyone else in the conversation. Granted, most of the foals in Ponyville liked her, because Nightmare Moon was before their time.
 
Even now though, some were still afraid of her, although you weren’t. You had met her a while back, when you were the ‘hot new thing’ in Equestria. She was just about the size of a filly then. You just couldn’t imagine what they were so afraid of. It was kind of hard to believe how old she really was.
 
Mindlessly, you picked up the small blue rock on the desk. Just a force of habit, you always had the urge to touch random things.
 
“Don’t touch that!”
 
You immediately returned the stone to it’s original position, although it felt more like a sponge than any rock.
 
“Sorry didn’t know I wasn’t supposed too, it was just kind of sitting there.”
 
Spike breathed a sigh of relief, “Its ok, that’s just a very rare stone from the mountains to the north. There is a ridge there, called ‘Alicorn’s Way’. It’s basically a major death trap, the stone cancels out magical properties. Twilight was researching it but she needed more samples, that amount there couldn’t even cancel out a filly’s magic.”
 
That really peaked your interest. “Why is that so hard to get?”
 
“From what I’m told, there is a thick fog that covers the base of the ridge, impossible for pegasi to pass through.  There is a lot more stone in the valley, no magical interference. Only way to get it is to have earth ponies scale down the cliff and mine it. It took a team of seven ponies just to get that sample.”
 
You dismissed the magical stone for now. “So what do you think we should say to Luna? It has to be something that makes her interested enough to at least give my idea a shot.”
 
“Well… I got an idea.” Spike was quick as a whip as the quill made contact to the parchment. You peered over the dragon’s should to see, your face immediately went flush.
 
“Don’t you dare put that!”
 
“What’s wrong with it?” Spike questioned.
 
“’I am not going to become her personal sex slave to change the moon.” You deadpanned.
 
“What? I thought it was a great idea.” Spike returned, grinning roguishly, “She is going to want some kind of compensation, and I figured she been on the moon for a thousand years. Well, you can put two and two together.”
 
You had to admit he did have a strong point, but there was no way you were going to offer your body to do it. After what happened with Carrot and Celestia that would be the furthest thing from making a happy herd.
 
“Tell her I'll offer her a song that once held the power to raise the moon.” You technically weren’t lying.
 
Spike’s heart never doubled over. “You used to raise the MOON!?!?”
 
You bet your lower lip, you didn’t like lying but you have raised the sun and the moon before… in a video game.
 
“Yes, yes I have. That was a long time ago though.” You said modestly. Spike’s face was twitching. “So let’s write a new letter.”
 
You and Spike spent the next hour drafting and rewriting the letter to the princess of the moon. You noticed, however, that Spike was a lot more cautious of what words he used around you. Raising the sun and moon was a power only held by the princesses. Yet, standing next to him was a being who did both with a mere song.
 
Finally after two hours you both drafted the perfect letter.
 

Dear Princess Luna,

It has been some time since I had last chance to talk with you. You will most likely not remember my name, since it is forgettable, but I am the human that came to Equestria awhile back. I do hope you remember me. I must admit, I have a deep respect for the beauty that you put into the sky every night. I can’t put into words the emotions that I feel looking up at your night sky.

I myself used to raise and lower the sun and moon on my home world, but compared to yours it is nothing but a mere rock cast out in the sea of stars.

I know very little of the ways of your world and yet I still try to learn what I can. I recently learned about  the romantic complacency of ‘herding’.  I am told that, customarily, the stallion usually gifts his mares with mementos with strong feelings attached to them. I have nothing here that would come close to show the way I feel for them.

You do however.  There is a celestial event back on my world, called a Harvest Moon. The moon turns a beautiful shade of crimson for one night. I want to show them that, a piece of my world. I want to give them a piece of the world that I grew up on.

I know it sounds like nothing more than a far off fantasy, but with your help, I am sure that I could make this possible. You are the princess of the night. If I could just show them the beauty of your night sky with the splash of my world, I know we could make something wondrous.

I know nothing in the world is free, as such, I wish to give you the piece of music that I used to raise and lower my moon on command. It won’t work in your world but it is something that I think you would admire. As I know you would understand, since you are royalty, if you do accept I’d ask that we both keep secret about this.

With Respect and Great Admiration~
Frost

“Why did you sign it Frost instead of my real name.” You questioned Spike with a glare.
 
“What? It’s like you just said before. You real name is forgettable. At least now she might remember you.” Spike said honestly.
 
It was starting to feel weird just how complacent and widespread your little nickname had become in such a short amount of time. Well, it was Ponyville, a tiny village out in the boons.
 
“Sure, whatever, just make sure you get our contact info and put my real name on the letter too.” You said as you sealed the letter.
 
“I’ll have to wait until nightfall to send it to Luna.” Spike informed, “I could send it to Celestia but I heard she likes to snoop through her sister’s mail.”
 
You shrugged.
 
“Fine just wait until nightfall, but when you get word back, come to me immediately.” You informed.
 
Spike jokingly saluted you, “Will do, captain.”
 
You made your way to leave, today was just getting better and better. Now, though, you had to get to work. There was no telling how many ponies would be out in the rain. So it may have slowed business enough for it to be manageable.
 
Before you left though, there was something that was eating away at the back of your mind that you just needed to ask. You turned back to the dragon before you opened the door.
 
“Hey Spike… Winona, does she like doggy style?”
 
Spike just face-palmed in reply.
 

 
It didn’t take much time to get back to the store. The door was thankfully still locked, which meant that the store had not yet opened for business. Normally, you would have gone upstairs and checked on the twins, but you could hear hoofsteps upstairs still, which meant someone was already watching them.
 
You started prepping for the evening rush. Nothing too grand, mostly just dinner rolls for families, as well as cookies and muffins for foals getting out of school.  Shakes and malts can be made on the spot, so there was nothing to worry about there.
 
You were on cloud nine though, around three o’clock Spike would send the letter to Luna, and if she said yes (which you didn’t see any reason why she wouldn’t) your herd would always have something to know that you care. Cup Cake would love it, she needed it more than anyone.  Pinkie Pie, though, might like it too, but you still needed to talk to her.
 
Have a heart to heart would be a more concise way to put it. Pinkie was not some cold hearted witch, she was kind and caring, and loved everyone. You were the same way, although, sometimes it backfired on you. Talking things out was your only real hope at saving your relationship with her. Not even the moon could help you there.
 
Well maybe a little bit, it is the damn moon after all.
 
Cheerilee was a curiosity. You had known her well enough, now you knew her really well. She had the same views that you did on a relationship. She wanted kids; you both had fun, slightly twisted and perverted senses of humor. She likes the same music, and you both like most of the same things. All that, even without touching her personality, and that fine ass of hers, god she had a nice ass.
 
She was in love with Cup Cake, however. Which was perfectly normal, given their deep relationship. This was a touch and go, you want her to love you as well as Cup Cake.  That would take time though, you two were great friends. You just had to build up from that.
 
“Well isn’t that a nice smile.”
 
You froze in place for a moment as you were knocked out of your train of thought. Slowly you looked down towards your waist and saw the mare of the hour, Bonbon. Oddly her mane was combed back and all to one side. She was wearing a delicate musk that smelled like strawberries, most likely from the shampoo in the shower.
 
You thought she had left hours ago. Well, being wrong was just in your nature. You decided on the spot that it would be best to talk your issues out now, before it got any weirder between you two. You were really calm and level headed when you needed to be.
 
“Hello Bonbon, seems you’re doing better than you were this morning.” You stated as you turned and started to work on the cookies.
 
There was now a severely long pause, neither of you wanted to have this conversation. It had to happen, though, if you wanted things to be normal again.
 
“I... I’m sorry…” Bonbon said in a low voice. “You’re nothing like your father, and I don’t think you’re a monster at all…”She placed her forehead against your leg. “I just—“
 
“It’s OK, Bonbon. I know you didn’t mean it. I know you a lot better than that. After all that we have been through, I know you’re not going to freak out over nothing. So don’t worry, we're cool.”
 
Bonbon looked up at you, incredulously, “That’s it? You’re not going to yell at me, or retaliate?”
 
“That’s all, nothing more needs to be said.” You stated.
 
Bonbon just glared at you. “The hay there isn’t! I just spent three hours crying in front of a mirror, thinking of the best way to get you to accept my apology. It was a very mean and horrible thing I said. You are not allowed to forgive me until I finish my ‘I’m sorry’ speech!”
 
“Nope, that topic is done and over with,” You said with a smirk. “Though I would like to know; what was that little tidbit that Lyra said earlier about a certain somepony want to join my herd? That really didn’t make any sense to me.” You said as you check over the last seven racks of the cookies.
 
Bonbon took a step back, “What do you mean it didn’t make sense?! That’s insulting.”
 
You found yourself with a moment to talk face to face. The cookies were now baking and the muffins were in the other oven. You took a knee and faced the disgruntled mare.
 
“Well Bonbon, since I have met you, you have showed me time and time again that you were never, ever, interested in me like that. Lyra at least jokes around a little. That, and the fact that Bonbon, you are single-handedly the biggest lesbian I know. There is no chance of you wanting me sexually not even figuratively, metaphorically or physically.”
 
Bonbon huffed, “So? You still could have asked!”
 
You could feel that twitch growing in the back of your mind.
 
“Bonbon, seriously, what is the point in asking if I know beforehand that the answer will be no? You’re not even romantically interested in me. There is no point whatsoever.”
 
Bonbon’s glare only grew more intense, “It doesn’t matter if I would say no, I was your friend before even Pinkie. The very second you started herding you should have come to me first and asked.”
 
“You’re dating Lyra and- Ugh, never mind.” You took in a large breath and calmed our nerves. You reached down and grabbed Bonbon’s left hoof and place it in your hand.  “Bonbon,” you whispered, “you would make me one of the happiest humans in the world if you would join my herd.”
 
“Really, you’re truly asking me?”  You nod. “I-I don’t know what to say. It just feels so nice being asked, I never realized you felt this way about me.” You hadn’t either.
 
“Would you?” You repeat.
 
Bonbon stepped forward and wrapped her hooves around your neck, “I’m glad you feel this way. To tell truth I always suspected it.” She caught you off-guard as she gave you a peck on the cheek. “I-I’m sorry though, I just don’t see you in that kind of way. I know it will take some time to heal but I know your will get over me.”
 
You rub her back, replying in a deadpanned tone, “It will be a long and painful process, oh how will I ever survive now that you have rejected me.”
 
“You will find other mares… none prettier than me but you will find others.” Bonbon said with a tart smirk.
 
You two held each other is an awkward hug, you had forgotten one of the most important rules when dealing with women or mares: They make no damn sense. Sometimes the song and dance is just for that one purpose.
 
“Feel better?”

She nodded.
“What are we going to do about Lyra?” you questioned.
 
Bonbon pulled away slightly blushing, “Well… even if I don’t wholeheartedly approve of it, I did promise Lyra that I would allow her a one time… playful debauchery. She didn’t mind when I asked her for a three-way with Octavia, I just didn’t expect that you would… say yes to her… request.”
 
You just decided to play along with it. There was no real reason to tell her that you really were on the fence about it. Ass play is fun, and you were willing to give just about anything a try. It was just that, sometimes, things just took a bit more getting use to than others.
 
“Well, she did ask so nicely, and I did promise her I would. What kind of gentleman would I be if I went back on my word?” You said with mild triumph. “Besides, the faster we get it done the faster she can get over her little hand fetish.” Not ever going to happen.
 
You clap your hands together. “Enough of this for now, I need to get the shop ready and you little miss are going to help me make the hard candies.”
 
Bonbon blinked in confusion, “But I don’t know how to make the hard candies you make here.”
 
You smirk, heading for the kitchen, “Well guess who is going to learn—“
 
Thump
 
You rub your head, glaring up at the beam in the middle of the room as you regain your composure.
 
“Same damn beam, every single time.”
 

The evening sun started to wane past the horizon, spraying the sky with purples and deep blues. The light breeze that drifted past the stained glass windows cooled the room to the perfect temperature.
 
Luna was halfway done with her omelet when Celestia finally arrived for her dinner. The Mare of the Night made no acknowledgement of her sister’s presence, aside from a small nod and muttered greeting. The Sun Princess simply sat herself down at the table, lifted her fork, and started cutting into her dinner.

It was right as the tines were piercing the second cheese-and-onion layer that Celestia finally broke the uncomfortable silence.
 
“You still can’t be that mad at me Lulu, it was an honest mistake.”
 
“I’m still not talking to you.”
 
“You just did.” Celestia said with a smirk.
 

The goddess of the night was primed and prepped for a night of bliss. The moon was high in the sky and the clouds were nowhere to be seen. Her coat had a shine to it that only could be seen by the candles that had been lit by her bed posts.
 
Her celestial mane was sprawled over her many black silk pillows. The air in the room smelled of lavender and cocoa. It had been over a thousand years since she had opened herself to a bed mate. She did not take well to the idea of her sisters harem. She wished to make her own, and not use the males from her sisters court.
 
Who would want their sister’s sloppy seconds?
 
No, tonight was her night. It took her way more time than it should have to find a suitable mate.  He was a stallion, a scholar in fact, from the local library. He smelled of books, a scent that the young goddess loved. Alas, when she had first met him, she had still had the body of filly. Time is what it took, in just a few short years she had the body of a mare again.
 
By then, the young goddess was very smitten with the librarian. Even while she was little though, her estrus hadn’t given her any leeway. Some nights were painful and even tear inducing. Tonight though, she had called the stallion to her chambers to help her sooth her problems, while he was unaware of her advances.
 
The moment he stepped through her doors, he would know full well the night in store for him. Alas, the hours faded away into the night, and not a soul passed into her threshold.  The goddess of the night had been stood up.
 
Saddened, and looking for a bit of comfort from one of the only ponies who could help alleviate her tears, her beloved sister Celestia. She pushed passed the hearth to her sister’s room in the early hours of the morning just before she would raise the sun.
 
It wasn’t uncommon to see her with a stallion; Celestia’s harem was numbered to be around forty, always changing depending on her mood for the evening. There were even a few mares among her private court, although they were rarely called upon.
 
No, what caused the young goddess’s heart to shatter was the puppy love she had grown and nurtured over the past three years being snuffed out by her sister’s overbearing hoof. The young scholar was now riding her sister like a young colt playing with a toy.
 

“C’mon Lulu I said I was sorry. If I knew you liked him I wouldn’t have slept with him. You’ve never shown any interest in any stallion ever. How was I supposed to know that you liked him?” Celestia said nearly pleading.
 
“Maybe if you didn’t spread your legs to ever stallion that gave you a second glance.” Luna said curtly. “I am sure Disarray would be rolling over in his grave if he saw how you’ve changed over these past four millennia.”
 
Celestia’s face went crestfallen, “You promised we would never talk about him again.” She said in a warning tone.
 
“You promised not to interfere with my romantic life when I got my body back to normal. Look who had been keeping her promises.” Luna finished with a long drawn out sip of her tea. She could only smile on the inside; she knew full well how much her sister hated tea.
 
Celestia sighed, “I’m sorry sis, please let’s not fight. Look, you can have any stallion in my court, even Raoul, and you know how much I like Raoul. Please Lulu…”
 
Luna sighed, “You just don’t get it Tia. I really like him, I don’t need hundreds of stallions, I just need one. He listened to me, he wasn’t scared of me, and most of all he liked MY night sky. He preferred looking up at the stars instead of looking at your giant sun. I wanted a bit of romance back in my life. You know how hard it is to get a stallion to look at me as Luna and not Nightmare Moon. Stallions like that just don’t fall from the sky.”
 
As if cradled on the wind,  the dark green dragon flame drifted through the castle. Both goddesses sighed as they saw it fly straight for the table. A letter meant work, a letter meant Celestia had some royal duty to attend to, a letter meant Celestia would get a free ride out of her sister’s scornful gaze.
 
The letter, however, flew right over Celestia’s mane and across the table over to the goddess of the night. When the magic had confirmed it was before the recipient it dispersed and let the envelope fall, right into her cup of tea.
 
Both sat in silence for well over a minute. That was indeed a letter and not only did it fall before Luna it was also stamped with a crescent moon instead of a sun. It was a letter addressed to her, not to her uppity sister.
 
Celestia just blinked in confusion, “Lulu I think you got a letter…”
 
Luna was speechless, she hadn’t got a letter since before she was banished. Well before that, before she was even in her little Nightmare Moon tangent. It was a letter for her. To say it was hard for her to come to terms with this would have been a grave understatement.
 
Cautiously, she took the letter out of her tea, and with the delicate precision of a surgeon, she opened it. Eagerly Luna read over the letter, each word embedding itself into her mind. She felt like a giddy foal who just opened a present.  Alas, the letter didn’t take long to read, thankfully the tea hadn’t damaged the letter too much. In the bottom left corner when the sender’s name was written was just two black blotches, ruined by the tea, underneath one word that was clearly readable: Frost.
 
Truth be told, she didn’t remember the human that came there, she’d had her own problems to deal with at the time. Now, though, she was more than interested in the biped. He was trying to attempt single handedly the most absurd idea ever, changing the color of the moon. Yes, his reasoning for it was so romantic. Luna always had a soft spot for the romantic.
 
Even more than that, they also shared a common ground. This human had also raised and lowered the moon before. Using music of all things, it sounded just so delightfully absurd. Yet, the more she thought about it the more it interested her.  
 
The letter was right, if they were able to pull this off they could make something very wondrous. A harvest moon, it just sounds so spectacular.
 
“Lulu did you get a love letter?” Celestia mused.
 
Luna shook herself out of her stupor, “What are you talking about?”
 
“You’re smiling like a goof, you either got a love letter, or you just won the lottery.” Celestia stated.
 
Luna was in no mood to put up with her sister’s pressuring, this was no love letter but it was a matter of love. “I’m going to retire for the evening, dear sister. Oh, and I will also be taking a leave for a few days as well.” Luna was smiling from ear to ear, a rare and slightly disturbing sight.
 
“Oh, so it was a love letter! Are you going off to see a random stallion that had fallen in love with you? Oh to be young again.”
 
Luna didn’t correct her, she didn’t want her meddling in her affairs any more. She was just going to take a small vacation is all, she can paint the night sky anywhere. Nothing said that she had to do it in her castle. She knew full well a good spot to take shelter for a few days. Now, though, she needed to pack; for tomorrow she was going to Ponyville.
 
But first, she needed to send a letter.
 

For a rainy Monday, there were a surprising amount of customers that came to Sugarcube Corner.  For the first time in a long time, you were able to put out the ‘Sold Out’ sign. The only things available now were the shakes.
 
Cup Cake came down once to see how things were going. She was more than pleased to find that you had made up with Bonbon. Lyra was happy as well, although you assumed for different reasons. Lyra then went back upstairs to prepare.  You knew what for, but alas, sadly she still had not realized that all the petroleum jelly was gone. The way her face lit up when you said you would, though, that was priceless.
 
Too bad all the stores that sell the jelly are closed now, oh what a shame.
 
Oddly, though, you missed seeing Pearl leave. You were sure she was going to stay until dinner. Deep in the back of your mind, however, you had wanted to see if what she had said about Dazzle was true. You were a friend to the Sparkle family. Twilight even came to you a few times when Pinkie was just being too ‘Pinkie’ for her to handle.  Truth be told, the prospect of being able to get a piece of that ass was growing on you fast. Even after some thought, your opinion didn’t change.
 
Bonbon was currently upstairs playing with the twins, even though she should be cleaning the back like she said she would. Lyra was in the bathroom doing who knows what, you just hoped that it wasn’t what was playing out in the back of your mind. Cup Cake was finishing up the back, she was by far the quickest when it came to cleaning and thanks to the slow business day, it wasn’t much of a chore.
 
That left you to tend to the front counter; you didn’t mind it you could watch the rain fall. Peaceful times like this you wouldn’t trade for the world.  Actually you were kind of sad to see the rainstorm go. Soon the massive cloud formation will be sent north to Saddle Arabia.
 
Ding-A-Ling
 
No matter how good your day was going now it just fell flat. Before you stood the only two mares that you just hated, and the worst part of all they didn’t look like mares; they were mares trapped in a perpetual filly form thanks to some birth defect.  Of the Pie sister triplets thankfully Pinkie Pie wasn’t affected.
 
Blinkie and Inkie now stood before you, you only could look on in disdain. It was an unspoken agreement that you all hated each other. They hated you because in some weird twisted logic of you taking Pinkie away from them. It made no sense to you, because Pinkie had dated several stallions before you, and they had liked all of them.
 
It was just you they didn’t like.
 
Clyde and Sue (Pinkie’s mom and dad.) hated you as well. Not because you took Pinkie Pie away. Nope it was just for the good old fashioned reason that you weren’t a stallion. The rock farm they all lived on was a two hour walk south of Ponyville. You knew you had to make peace with them at some point. Whenever Pinkie Pie talked about marriage she wanted their blessings.
 
You didn’t like them for the simple fact that every single time they came around they tried to break you and Pinkie up. They would never admit it, but you were sure they were going to try again. Now you really had to tread on eggshells around them, you didn’t want them finding out about you taking up herding without even consulting Pinkie.
 
“Well if it isn’t our dear—“ Blinkie said.
 
“Friend, Frost.” Inkie finished with a chuckle.
 
Not to mention the giant boat load of weird that always followed these two wherever they went.
 
“Hi Blinkie, hi Inkie, How long has it been, a month?” You questioned. Then it hit you, they’d just called you Frost. Best not to stir the hornets’ nest. “What brings you to town? Pinkie is off in the Crystal Kingdom until Friday, so no luck there.”
 
Both Blinkie and Inkie just stared at you like you had just grown a second head. Being in the same room alone with the filly wannabes was kind of unnerving.
 
“Oh that is such a shame.” Blinkie said.
 
“We had some important business to discuss with Pinkie.” Inkie said.
 
You start to drum your fingers against the counter. “Sorry but if you want I can take a message for her.”
 
“Oh that won’t be necessary. “ Blinkie said.
 
“We will be in town until Pinkie gets back.” Inkie stated.
 
“While we are here though—“ Blinkie said.
 
“We would love to talk to you our dear friend, Frost.” Inkie finished.
 
Your stomach started to do jumping jacks as they approached the counter. It was a little comical that they couldn’t look over the counter top.
 
“Oh and was can I do for my two favorite fillies in the entire world.” You said leaning in.
 
Blinkie turned to Inkie. “Sister my tail just twitched.”
 
Inkie looked back. “I know sister, my back just got itchy. I guess we have to tell him.”
 
“Yes, tell him we should.”
 
“We could not tell him, though.”
 
“But sister your back was itchy, we must tell him.” Blinkie stated.
 
“You are far too generous my dear sister, go ahead, and tell him.”
 
You roll your eyes, “Tell me what?” you said mildly irritated.
 
Both Blinkie and Inkie looked at you.
 
“Within one weeks’ time, you’re going to die.” Both said in unison.
 
Your heart jumped. Now you may have had your arguments, and you may have hated each other, but they were not liars. Normally you would blow off such an insinuation, but it came from one of the Pie triplets. You don’t screw with them if they tell you shit is going down.
 
You didn’t know much about Pinkie’s “Pinkie Sense”. Although since you lived with her you had grown accustomed to it, you had your own educated guesses. You would never tell Twilight this, she got mad whenever you talked about it. From what you could tell, her “Pinkie Sense” could tell her what was happening in the present, and sometimes the very near future.
 
Case in point, twitchy tail meant something was about to fall. There were others, but most followed your guess. When it came to Blinkie and Inkie though you knew they had their own senses similar to Pinkie’s.
 
Inkie knew far too much for her own good. Your guess was that with her “Inkie Sense”, she could tell what had happened in the past. Not very useful, but you were hoping she didn't pick up on anything, especially from the counter she was leaning on.
 
Blinkie though... When she spoke, even Pinkie listened. By your best guess, she could tell you what was going to happen in the far future. Her “Blinkie Sense”, like Pinkie’s was always spot on. When the three of them paired up against you for a game of hide and seek, there was no chance for victory.
 
On a side note, you never are going to play hide and seek with Pinkie and her sisters again.
 
“Look, that’s cute and all girls, but I’m fit and exceedingly healthy. I’m not going to die anytime soon.” You said mildly nervous.
 
“I saw you in my dream,” Blinkie said. “You were surrounded by blue stones face down in a pool of your own blood and for some reason Fluttershy was kicking you in the face.”
 
You breathe a sigh of relief. Out of all of Pinkie’s friends, Fluttershy was the least violent. It was almost laughable to think that she could do anything to you. For the first time ever, you chose to ignore her warning.
 
“Thanks for the warning Blinkie, I’ll keep that in mind when Fluttershy comes around.” You said in a mildly joking tone. “Is there anything I can get you? All we have is shakes. You want a shake?”
 
“Nothing that you can help us with, we will be—“Blinkie
 
“Sleeping at Luna’s Love Lounge until Pinkie’s return.” Inkie
 
Both turned in hoof and made their way out the door. You tried your hardest not the look at the flanks of Pinkie’s sisters. No matter how much you disliked them, you didn’t want to be cruel and looked for just that reason.  Blinkie had a rounder rump and Inkie had firmer looking cheeks. In either case, it was a very dirty pleasure. Both were older than Pinkie, but they looked to be about the age of a filly.
 
You already knew full well  that it was a dirty, far off fantasy that would never see the light of day. Still though, you can look but you just can’t touch.
 
Blinkie turned to you just before she was about to leave. You knew she did it on purpose; she lifted her tail just right to give you full view of her delicate rose bud. That was not something you were ever expecting, and you were getting far too heated up over that tiny peep show.
 
“Bye Frost,” Blinkie said as she followed Inkie out the door, “If you ever want to talk again, we will be staying in room three twenty four. I promise you a time you will never forget.”
 
You shuddered as the door finally shut, those two always gave you the creeps, now more than ever. Right now your top priority was to get that image of Blinkie Pie burned out of your mind.
 

Blinkie and Inkie rarely ever left each other’s side, even for bathroom trips they would even share the same stall and take turns. Now was not any different than before. Always together for everything. Ever since they were little, the Pie triplets were inseparable.  It was truly a magic that never needed any spells. As long as they all had each other, there was nothing in the world that would  break their bond.
 
Until the youngest of the three sisters had her growth spurt, leaving Blinkie and Inkie metaphorically stranded. Then Pinkie left home to pursue her dream, to make the whole world smile. Blinkie and Inkie wanted to help, but then Pinkie started dating and her dream took a stand still. She had become content in the everyday monotony of life and only thought to please one person, you, or that is what they both believed.
 
Inkie shook off the rain from her coat the best she could. Blinkie followed suit with nothing more than a groggy disposition. Blinkie sighed contentedly and snapped the book that was sitting on her table shut.  Inkie went to the bedside table and she blew out the candle, pulling the blankets down to the end of the bed.
 
“Sister if he doesn’t take the bait how are we going to lure him here?” Inkie said.
 
“Do not worry sister, from what I can tell is that he is obsessed with the ass. I just need to lure him like I do you.” Blinkie finished as she dragged her tail across Inkie’s hindquarters.
 
“Not now, sister,” even though she protested her body was still craving her sisters touch. “we need to focus. This is a rare chance we have here.”
 
Blinkie was focusing as she pushed her sister on the bed. “Do not worry, I have everything,” she paused for a moment as she climbed on the bed. “under control. Pinkie is far too forgiving, all that human has to do is say he is sorry and all would be forgiven.”
 
Inkie smirked as her body now was starting to give way to her sister’s advances. “So what if he does something unforgivable to somepony, that she would never forgive him for?”
 
Blinkie licked her lips as she took in the musk smell of her sister. “Hmmm I can only think of two mares in all of Equestria like that dear sister.”
 
“Once he takes the bait, taking advantage of two mares’ in heat. Pinkie will be ours again, this time we won’t let her go so easily.” Inkie said as she stroked her sister mane. “I want to be Pinkie this time.”
 
Blinkie rolled her eyes, “Fine, but I get to be Pinkie the next two times.”
 
“Pinkie likes it when you’re on top.” Inkie said.
 
She began to push the brash pony onto her back. Inkie wore a lustful smirk, whispering, "Oh Pinkie." as she lay on the bed waiting for her lover's advancement. Keeping her hind legs wide, she reached her hooves down and spread her dripping, moist lips apart. The sensation was beginning to take its toll on the mare; her body craved sexual relief, and her mind wanted this “Pinkie” to be the one to alleviate her frustration. Her legs were tingling with excitement as she silently begged Blinkie to love her.
 
The Blinkie’s eyes widened at the sight. There, lying before her was the only pony she had ever been with, inviting her to become whole again. Blinkie leaned down and wrapped her forelegs around her sister’s thighs, her mouth not even an inch away from Inkie’s burning crevice. Rubbing her lover's flanks, Blinkie closed her eyes and slowly inhaled as deeply as possible through her nose.
 
Immediately, Inkie reacted with a quick spasm. Her lips pulsed and tightened as she tried to keep them spread for the grey mare before her. A warm, thick fluid leaked from her center; having her beloved indulge in her aroma had always excited the filly looking mare. She began to pant and sweat, focusing all her attention on the beauty with her now.
 
Feeling the mare's muscles tightening, Blinkie peeked up with a seductive expression. "Oh? Did you like that?" Both being in heat at the same time made the answer quite obvious.
 
Inkie couldn't form any words. Her mind was left with only one thought... One need. She could manage only a shallow, shaky breath from her mouth as her eyes locked with her lover's. The reaction enticed the seductive earth pony to take another lungful of her sister’s musk. However, this time as she exhaled she slowly blew the cool air directly inside her sensitive, gaping organ.
 
Inkie gasped loudly and dug her back hooves into the soft pillow, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as the sudden chill brushed her moist inner membrane. She could feel herself contracting with pleasure as every muscle in her body reacted to the rolling waves coursing through her.
 
"Make sure you keep your lips spread for me, Pinkie Pie. If you let go before you finish, you won't get anything else tonight." Blinkie spoke in a sweet, domineering tone as she firmly held her sister’s thighs in place.
 
Biting her lip, she forced her eyes closed as she held her hooves in place, making sure not to slip while having her orgasm. From how exciting the foreplay was, she knew that things could only get better and more erotic from here, if she obeyed the sensual mare's order at least. She was never really turned on by submission, but seeing her sister this assertive was only adding to her tension.
 
It was the interest that really turned her on; she was thrilled seeing that their feelings hadn't expired over the years. The attention Blinkie gave her was the most exciting aspect of it all. Fetish and kinks were immaterial now. Although, that didn't stop them from being naughty, of course.
 
When the last vibrations subsided Blinkie gave her a wink of approval, pleased with the exotic display. Her own body was pulsing with passion; she knew exactly what her mare loved and was more than eager to deliver. Leaning up with a sincere smile, she took Inkie's hooves against her own before embracing her. With fur tickling the other's chest, they found their tongues becoming intertwined, locking in a tantalizing bliss.
 
Blinkie then slid down Inkie’s body and cuddled up close to her until they were in a familiar position again, face to face with their underbellies pressed together and their legs spread, except this time Blinkie was making a stronger point of pressing their pelvises tightly together, her front hooves hooking around Inkie’s hips to help hold them in place.  Inkie realized, with no small amount of pleased shivering, that this left the top of Blinkie’s slit just barely rubbing against her own, and with a little shifting Inkie was delighted to find that she could center the rubbing on her clitoris, and that Blinkie could do the same.
 
“Oh, Pinkie that feels so good, don’t stop.” Blinkie squeaked out.
 
“I forgot I thought you were Pinkie.” Inkie said, her lower legs buckling to the slow rhythm of her sisters grindings.
 
“Fuck it—Ahmm— let’s both be Pinkie.”
 
“Sister that so dirty… I like—“ Inkie finished in a high squeak. Her body wanted this, it needed release.
 
Her hips were already twitching, her front hooves were unsteadily clutching the sides of the bed, and her cries were climbing in pitch in a way that made it obvious how close she was.  And then she was there, right as Inkie made a hard thrust forward,  both of their buttons dancing with each other.  Her thighs clenched tighter around Inkie’s waist, her moans turned into a shrill squeak, and she came, warm sticky juices flowing past Inkie’s clit which in turn caused her own orgasm to spring forth.
 
Blinkie fell limp against her sister, her breathing left her lips in long hot gasps. Two small rivers of cum now pooling together on the bed. Both twitched as they rode out their orgasms. Soon though they needed to decided who would be the one to try to lure the human into the bedchamber and who would be the unlucky one to sleep with him.
 
Neither mattered at that moment though, they just laid there until they both could move again.
 

The day was now winding down to its end. Thankfully just five more minutes until you could lock the door and go upstairs to enjoy a nice cold hard cider. Save for meeting your “hopefully” someday sister-in-laws, today was going perfectly.
 
The crusaders didn’t come in covered in tree sap again. No horrible impending doom that seem to love to threaten the town on a weekly basis. Today was perfect and shaping up for a wonderful evening. Only thing to do now was to sit back and wait for a reply from the princess.
 
A warm shiver ran up your side as a very familiar mare nuzzled your side, you could recognize that sensation anywhere. She was slightly sticky, thanks to her cleaning up the hard candy section in the back.
 
“So did somepony enjoy their hot bath? I was worried about you after you stormed out earlier.” Cup Cake said with a smirk. “Did anything interesting happen?”
 
You knew she was trying to be coy, it was almost laughable. Alas, things played out in her favor. Cheerilee did join the herd, and you did get a little mare action from it. Although, you did promise Cheerilee that you would not tell Cupcake about her love interest.
 
“Yes, in fact me and Cheerilee had a very interesting discussion. First we started in politics, and then we got into religion, and then we started a heated debate on foal pregnancy. You wouldn’t believe how young some fillies get pregnant nowadays!”
 
Cupcake deadpanned, “Seriously? Is that all you two talked about?”
 
“Why, whatever do you mean? You act as if she confessed her love for me in some cave on the mountainside or something.” You said with a smirk.
 
Surprisingly it took around nine seconds for the words to sink in.
 
“Oh my, she really confessed?!” Cupcake beamed. “So tell me what happened… I want details!”
 
“Well, some stuff happened, and now we have a third member to our little family.” You said with a smile.
 
Cupcake squeed and wrapped you in a warm embrace. “Oh, I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that! When Cheerilee first said she had a crush I couldn’t believe it. It had been so many years since she been attracted to somepony. I was so worried when you said you wanted to stop herding, that would have crushed Cheerilee.”
 
You started to rub the mare’s back. The feeling of her coat against your fingertips was more than satisfying.
 
“You know Cupcake, you’re always thinking of others. I really like that about you.” You said honestly.
 
Cupcake tried to hold back a tear that was working its way out. It had been a long time since anyone or any pony had complimented her personality.
 
“Oh you’re just saying that. If I know you, you like my butt more than my personality.” Cupcake said bashfully.
 
You tried not to grin, “Damn straight I do, and you have one of the nicest asses I have ever seen.” Cupcake didn’t know where to hug you or slap you. “Although there is something I love more than your butt and your personality.”
 
Cupcake was now more curious than offended. “Oh and what is that?”
 
You take the hand that you were using to rub her back, and drift it down under her chin, tilting it slightly upwards. You move in close so you face is just a mere inch away from hers.
 
“It’s those beautiful pink doe eyes of yours, I can’t tell you how much I admire them. I won’t lie, I think about it time and time again just how lucky Carrot Cake was to have fallen asleep next to you every night, staring down into those eyes. Now I find myself in that position, and I must say, I don’t know what he was thinking when he left you behind.”
 
Now, Cupcake could feel it, that warm fuzzy feeling that was growing like wildfire in the pit of her stomach. This time though, it latched right onto her heart, she could feel herself starting to cry.
 
“I-I want to tell you something… I know it’s really soon, maybe too soon, but I know how I feel.” Cupcake moved back, having you face so close to her was getting her flustered in all the right ways. She took a moment to compose herself, yet it was three simple words that were so hard to say. “I l—“
 
Ding-A-Ling
 
You turn you attention to the side to see a two pairs of filly flanks backpedaling inside. One was pink and the other grey. Your body was trained in on looking at the soft curvature of the rumps. It wasn’t your fault, it was a natural reaction.  Until you realized whom were the owners of the posteriors, Diamond Tiara and her best friend Silver Spoon.  Yup, you felt it. It was a twitch, a deadly one in your groin. All thanks to that damn little show Blinkie gave you part of you now registered filly rumps with dime sized buds.
 
Bad penis, bad, you’re not catholic.
 
Cupcake could have strung both of them by their tails, they had completely ruined her confession. It was alright though, she had time and it really wasn’t their fault. That still didn’t stop her from wanting to throttle them.
 
“Well if it isn’t my two favorite customers! What brings you here five minutes before we close up shop?” You said with a smirk.  Silver Spoon was the first to speak.
 
“Well somepony, just had to see her special somepony today, and not tomorrow when it’s nice and sunny and NOT raining!” Silver Spoon said irritably.
 
“Well you didn’t have to come along Sylvie; I said I would be fine on my own.” Diamond Tiara huffed.
 
Cupcake started to snicker, “Oh I guess I should give you and your special somepony some privacy.” The mare gave you a wink before she turned and started to wipe the back counter. That counter she wiped down not a half an hour ago. She wanted to listen in, in your opinion she was enjoying this far too much.
 
You could only roll your eyes. “So tell me, my little glitter princess, what brings you out here that just couldn’t wait until tomorrow when it would be bright and shiny?”
 
You tried not to laugh as you saw Silver Spoon gag.  
 
Diamond Tiara froze in place, she had been practicing in front of a mirror for the last hour for this moment, yet now that her special pony was right before her she was starting to choke. Luckily, she got the encouragement she needed right to her backside thanks to a swift kick from Silver Spoon.
 
Diamond Tiara fell forward three steps before she turned back and gave her best friend a death glare. She didn’t say anything though, as she turn back to you. You could see the skin below her pink coat slowly turning red.
 
“My maid said that a good way to show affection is to give your special somepony a gift…” She took a moment to steel her nerves. “So… I asked daddy if I could buy you a house.”
 
“You bought me a house?!” you said mildly shocked. If this wasn’t one of the richest girls in Equestria you wouldn’t have questioned it.
 
Diamond Tiara shook her head, “No, daddy said I’m not allowed to own property until I’m sixteen. He said I should make something from my heart since you’re a nice guy, so I made you this.”
 
After a moment of ruffling through her saddle bag she pulled out a heart. It was single handedly the creepiest thing that you have ever been given. You held it in your hands to confirm your suspicion. Yup, it was made from one long large clump of horsehair and pipe cleaners.
 
The hair had come from Diamond’s tail, you could see where she clipped it now that you looked. For a prestigious pony who loved looking good, this was cute, and you took it as a compliment. Except it was her hair, horse hair. No matter how adorable or cute it was that she’d made you a heart out of pipe cleaners and a literal piece of her… it was hair.
 
“Why thank you Diamond, this is sweet. I’m glad that you made me this… heart.”  You said as honestly as you could. It would have been damn, diabetes inducing adorable, if it was just pipe cleaners.
 
“Really… you really like it?” Diamond Tiara said with a glimmer of uncharacteristic glee.
 
“Yes, I really do.” You really did love the thought. She must have taken quite a bit of time to bind the hair until it made a perfect heart. This was her special gift just for you that lets you know she cares. It was very sweet, creepy, but sweet.
 
Diamond put her front hooves on the front of the counter and leaned in. “Well…”
 
Your eyes dart back and forth, mildly confused. Maybe she wanted something in return? That made sense, but you had nothing she would like or want. Thankfully, the greatest savior or your entire life now bid for your attention.
 
“Diamond, I need to borrow him for a moment in the back. You just sit tight, ok?” Without any warning, but tons of protest from the filly, you quickly made your way to the back of the store. You felt very stupid, but you hoped that Cup Cake could help.
 
The very second the door shut you became the bad guy.
 
“What are you doing?” Cupcake scolded.
 
“The hell if I know, she just gave me a gift. I can’t just magically pull return gift out of my ass.” You said in a fevered hurry trying not to make this seem too weird.
 
“She doesn’t want a gift, she want a kiss.” Cupcake said like this was some commonplace knowledge.
 
“What? Why would she want that, it’s only day two! She’s too young, isn’t she supposed to think kissing is gross, and colts have germs that aren’t real? The very farthest I thought she want to go was hand and hoof holding!”
 
Cupcake deadpanned, “You don’t honestly believe that do you?”
 
“Yes I do, she is thirteen, when I was thirteen the only women I was interested in was Princess Peach!” You took a moment to once again curse your fucked up childhood. That and the internet and rule thirty-four.
 
“Look, go out there and give her a kiss. It’s not going to kill you.” Cupcake scolded.
 
“Yeah, I think I should. Think about it—“
 
“No you think about it!” Cupcake was almost yelling. “You have no idea how hard it is for a little filly to open up like she just did. She not asking for a date or some proposal, just a tiny kiss to let her know you accepted her feelings.”
 
You tried to think of some reason why Cupcake was defending Diamond. Really, if anything she should be openly against this. Yet here she was, pushing you forward. Then it clicked, she was thirteen when she met Carrot. It sent a very disgusting shiver down your spine that you almost followed in his footsteps.
 
Yet kissing now was too soon, gift or otherwise. Screw that, your job was to make her go for nice guys, and nice guys don’t do that on day two.
 
“I have an idea.” You said with a smirk. “One that I think you might like better.”
 
You made your way back to the counter to the little filly who now seemed more irked than romantically misguided. Silver Spoon now took heavy interest in the window; she didn’t want to see her friend kissing anyone. That was gross, which is how a normal filly should be acting.
 
“Diamond, what are you doing tomorrow evening?” You said with a mature voice.
 
This caught the filly off-guard. “I- umm,” she thought for a moment. “Just violin practice at four but after that nothing….” She said mildly nervous.
 
“Excellent, how about you and I go on a date tomorrow?” You said with a smirk.
 
Diamond didn’t know what she was hearing, a real date! Not a pretend one with her dolls or when her and Silver Spoon played house. Cup Cake just sighed as she walked back to the front.
 
“Yes! I have to ask my dad first though.” Diamond beamed.
 
“Oh and you know what, you should show me the flying ferret you caught in the Everfree a few months back. You never did show him to me.”
 
Now you could hear Silver Spoon chuckling, Diamond looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a hummer.
 
“I… he died, it was sad. Its ok though, because I saved their species from going extinct.” Diamond nodded.
 
“So you saved them from going extinct by them dying. My, my you are just such a blessing. You know what though? You go ask your dad and I’ll be here waiting on baited breath—“
 
Cup Cake cut you off as you felt a sharp kick to your shin.
 
“Since you’re a gentleman, why don’t you escort your special somepony home?” Cup Cake said as she gave you a glare.
 
Your eye narrowed, “Right, I guess I’ll go do that. I am a man who prides himself on being a gentleman.”
 
Diamond Tiara beamed, she loved getting escorted home because that meant rides and getting two in two days was damn near a gift in itself.
 
“I want to go home now, then!” She said like a excited filly getting a treat.
 
Begrudgingly you grab your white hoodie from the coat rack on the right side of the wall near the counters edge. Your black one was dry after last night, but you didn’t want to wear it again so soon.
 
“Wait what am I supposed to do?” Silver Spoon whined.
 
“Oh you can just walk along side us.” Diamond said dreamily as she watched her special pony put on his clothes. She didn’t know why she liked watching it, but it made her smile doing so.
 
You kind of felt bad, this time you would let her have her way completely.
 
“It’s ok, Silver, I have enough room to carry you both.”
 
That opened a can of worms that you did not want to open. They started bickering and yelling between themselves. Diamond didn’t want to share her special time with you, since being carried eight blocks is such a treat.  However you were adamant about being fair. Since you weren’t going to budge on the issue, you gave Diamond an ultimatum, both or none.
 
Now that you were all settled, both fillies now sat on your forearms and your palms and they both nestle their heads inside your hood. This would have been a cute sight, if you could see, the way their heads were turned to the left placed their manes directly in the way of your vision.
 
You didn’t mind though, this whole plan was to get the filly to forget about her kiss which had worked out flawlessly.
 
“I'll be back in a little while Cup, I left my key in the back on the stove so just set up the closed sign, I’ll lock up when I get back.”
 
Cupcake nodded as she watched you run out into the rain. Now it was her chance to eat the delicious crème tart that had been hidden in the back of the fridge. She loved you, she truly did, but it was chocolate and she didn’t want to share.
 

 
Several minutes passed and the tart had been completely consumed, she was about to start cleanup of the front lobby.
 
Ding-a-ling
 
Cupcake jumped. Nopony should be here at this hour, and she still had tart on her lips.
 
“Hi Mrs. Cake.” Spike said breathing far harder than he should have been. “Is Frost here?”
 
“No he just stepped out for a moment. I don’t think he would like you calling him that by the way.” Cupcake scowled.
 
“Oh, and whose fault is it he got that nickname hmmm, Mrs. Frost?” Spike said with a grin.
 
Cup Cake just blinked twice. She liked that name now, Mrs. Frost. It had a very pleasant ring to it.  Cup Cake could feel her cheeks reddening at the thought of marriage. She shook her head, that idea was a far off concept, she hadn’t even told him she loved him.
 
“What are you doing here Spike?” Cupcake said half heartedly.
 
“I came here to deliver a letter from Princess Luna for him. Top secret hush-hush kind of stuff.”
 
Cup Cake’s good mood now was immediately killed off. With those words alone, she could feel a familiar black spike that she thought long gone from her life. It was fear.
 
“What does Princess Luna want with... Frost?”
 
“Oh, so you get to call him that and I can’t, huh?” Spike shrugged. “It’s a secret, I promised our friend I wouldn’t tell a soul and I am planning on keeping that promise. But I got to get going now; I heard that there is going to be a final thunderstorm tonight, and I don’t want to be caught outside in it.” Spike said as he handed the letter to Cupcake. “Make sure he gets it.” was all Spike said before he ran off into the rain.
 
Cup Cake looked down at the letter, it was a black gilded envelope with the mark of Princess Luna on it. She had seen something similar before, from Celestia, but that one was addressed to her husband.
 
There was no possible way that he would go for Luna, no this must be a letter for some other reason. It’s just a coincidence that it came just a few days after he started herding. Why would a Princess be interested in him anyway?
 
Why would a Princess be interested in Carrot Cake?
 
No. You have to trust him. He wouldn’t ever be interested in a Princess. Yet the more she told herself that, the more she doubted her own resolve.
 
“Why don’t you open the letter?”  whispered a familiar voice in her ear.
 
Two beady red eyes appeared in front of the of the mare and a wide smile similar to the legendary Cheshire cat. No other body parts of the local draconequus appeared, though. Cup Cake was oddly not surprised at all to see Discord.  
 
“I can’t, I have to trust him. I know very well he wouldn’t cheat on me.”
 
“Oh? And how would it be cheating? You gave him free reign to do whatever he pleases. That little school mare was just one piece in his conquest. I can see you're shaking my dear, that’s not a good sign.”
 
Cup Cake looked down at her hooves, she was indeed shaking and her breathing started to become more rampant. Discord ran a single claw down her back calming her nerves. “Come now, aren’t you going to tell me love conquers all? You love him and trust him don’t you. I’m just like him you know, we’re both good guys, there is no way he would be interested in Luna.”
 
Discords words did not reassure her at all.
 
“Well maybe if I just had a tiny peek…”
 
Discord smiled, “Well I suggest you hide that letter then, I can see your human coming now.”
 
Cupcake quickly tucked the letter inside her apron.
 

 
You ran inside the bakery, the rain was getting heavier and that meant thunder later tonight. You were greeted to an odd sight of Cupcake standing like a statue not three feet from the door with a guilty smile on her face.
 
“Welcome home dear,” Cupcake said with a smile.
 
“Thanks Hun,” You said as you put your partially drenched coat on the hook. “Kind of feels like we’re a married couple when you say that.” Cupcake couldn’t help but get a pleasant rush at the thought. You knew something was up, though. She never greeted anyone at the door, she was always in the actual house.

Then you saw it.
 
“I knew something was up.” You said as you walked and leaned in next to her.
 
Cup Cake immediately went on the defensive. “It’s not my fault I—“ She cut herself off as you gave the side of her lips a small lick.
 
“I told you I wanted a bite of that tart.” You said trying to suppress a chuckled. “You had such a guilty face I knew something had to be up. Its ok though, just next time save me a bite.” You gave Cupcake a quick and firm peck on the lips. “C’mon, let’s get upstairs and get some dinner into us. I’m sure Bonbon and Lyra are tired of babysitting.”
 
Cupcake slightly laughed at the huge bullet she’d just dodged.  There was no turning back now.
 

Cider was your best friend that evening. Pound and Pumpkin were complete angels that evening. Although since you got out of babysitter duty almost all day it was your turn to put them to bed. You didn’t mind, you got to tell them bedtime stories from your world.  Cinderella was Pumpkin’s favorite and King Arthur was Pound’s.
 
Now the kids were asleep, and you all had full stomachs. Most of you were tired, today just wore you out. Sadly though there was no word from Spike about the moon idea. Well, tomorrow was a new day.
 
You sat down next to Cup Cake who had been silent most of the day. Across from you was Bonbon and Lyra who had been talking in whisper since you came up from downstairs.  Nothing out of the ordinary. You knew the whole reason why. They were staying another night.
 
Lyra wanted her “fun” with your hands. Thankfully you had consumed just the right amount of cider to be convincingly impatient to when Lyra finds out she can’t.
 
“So Lyra,” you say trying to sound as sober as possible. “I talked to Bonbon earlier and she did indeed give the go ahead on your… our… would it be our?” You were actually a little more drunk than you thought.
 
Cup Cake then saw her chance, she had been trying to find the perfect time to open the letter. She had had zero privacy since she came upstairs.
 
Bonbon coughed, “Well I would like to clarify this is a one-time deal. There will be no future activity between you two.”
 
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Lyra said passingly, she didn’t want to hear this for the thousandth time today. She had just spent the last two hours preparing for this. Making sure every inch of her was clean and ready for those godlike hands to touch her in the most intimate of ways.
 
She had had dreams about them, touching her, massaging every inch of her. Now the dirtiest fantasy she had been waiting for was now about to happen. She could almost feel those hands stretching out her tiny little rose bud and sliding each and every finger deep into her.
 
She shivered at the thought.
 
“Well,” Cupcake chimed in. “You two should get started soon, it’s almost midnight and we all should turn in early, don’t you and Bonbon have work in the morning?” Cupcake said trying to hurry this along as fast as possible. You didn’t mind, this would be over before it began.
 
“So I would say my room would be best, since the floor is carpeted.”
 
Lyra just shook her head, “Bathroom floor would be just fine, I don’t want you throwing your back out trying to carry that large drum of petroleum jelly.”
 
You had never sobered up faster in your entire life.
 
“What you talkin’ bout Willis?”
 
Lyra pointed to the bathroom, “there is like a forty gallon oil drum filled with the stuff in there. I was curious to where you even got that much stuff.”
 
You didn’t hesitate as you nearly ran to the bathroom. There was no way a forty gallon oil drum would be there.
 
Your eyes turned to pins as you opened the door, you couldn’t believe it. It was there, an oil drum. Quickly you ripped off the lid and there it was a vast pool of clear jelly.
 
“How in the world did this get here?” Then you saw the tag on the side.
 

To Cup Cake -From D.  This Product is 100% Approved by Your Local Draconequus.

Who the hell is D? Who gives petroleum jelly as a gift?
 
Eeeeeennnk Click
 
Your head shot up, you recognized that sound. It was the bathroom door shutting. You could feel it, someone was watching you.  Then the bathroom lights dimmed. This would have been a very romantic scene if you didn’t feel like the victim in a horror movie.
 
“Hello?”
 
“Shhh, don’t speak, If you must, speak with your hands.” Lyra said.
 
Sign language? You hoped.
 

 
Cupcake breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the bathroom door shut. She knew full well that that entailed, now she was free to read the letter. Except Bonbon was there, but her eyes were trained on the door of the bathroom, her ears as well.
 
Cupcake excused herself, being as delicate as possible she now quickly made her way to the safe haven of her bedroom. The letter that she had been holding closer to her chest than a newborn foal felt like it burned to the touch.
 
Paranoia, fear, greed, denial, hatred, all were brewing inside the mare as she looked down at the black envelope. The black sheets of the mattress blended in with the letter giving it a dark aura.
 
Part of her wanted to open the letter, it was quite literally eating away on her insides. The other part wanted to trust you, you have given her no reason not to trust you. She knew you cared for her, and you did promise to always be by her side.
 
There was a letter there, from Luna. Carrot had promised to be her side forever, but everyone knew how well that turned out. It just felt like she was had gone down this path before.
 
There was no reason not to open it, except it wasn’t hers. Opening it would be a grave betrayal of your trust.
 
“So, are you going to open it or not?” Bonbon said.
 
Cupcake nearly jumped a foot in the air as her heart almost escaped her chest.
 
“Bonbon, I didn’t hear you come in?” She said nervously.
 
“Well I got here about ten minutes ago, you been staring at that letter ever since. I quite literally can’t stomach Lyra’s screams anymore. Oh and there is some kind of fluid pooling under the door. I’m pretty sure I know what it is, but I don't want to get close enough to find out.”
 
Cupcake nervously chuckled, “How much did you see?”
 
“Well besides the royal gilded envelope address to “Frost” nothing much. So why is Princess Luna sending him mail?” Bonbon questioned.
 
“I don’t know… it could be nothing, but still.”
 
“Don’t even think it Cup, he isn’t Carrot.”
 
“I know it’s just…”Cup Cake was almost in tears.
 
Bonbon nodded as she walked passed Cup giving the letter a thorough examination before she ripped open the seal. Cup Cake nearly fainted.
 
“Now it’s all on me and not you.” Bonbon said with a smirk. As she unfurled the letter and read aloud.
 

Dear Mr. Frost.

I am pleased that you admire my night sky so much and I have accepted your terms. I must say the chances are slim that I am able to keep this secret. Some press figures find it scandalous whenever a Princess leaves the castle for more than a day.  

Do not let that dissuade my meaning, From what you proposed  I am more than willing to give you my full attention. It will take a lot of effort to pull this off without a hitch and not get caught. Attempting this will leave both our minds and bodies completely drained.

As you have touched me with your romantic sentiment. I really thought that romance had died off long ago and it is nice to see that somepony still holds true to the old ways of courting.

There is a local motel called the “Luna’s Love Lounge” I have made arrangement to the presidential suite so that we both will be able to get a good view of the moon. Please come to room 101 tomorrow evening.

Well if we are successful it will be our moon.

With Great Admiration~
Luna

The room was still, almost all sound seemed to be drained from the world. Cupcake looked up at Bonbon, and she back to her. The black pike was working its way into the mare was now firmly planted into her heart.
 
“N-now Cup, this could be anything. Nowhere in this letter said anything about them… engaging in coitus.” Bonbon said, trying to avoid any use of the word “sex”.
 
Cup Cake however was nothing more than a shallow husk. She should be crying, but the tears wouldn’t fall.
 
“He’s going to cheat on me, th-this is what I deserve. This is what I did to Pinkie. Pinkie doesn’t even know. I’m not allowed to be happy anymore. Pinkie is going to hate me. He’s going to go off and have his way with a Princess, and Cheerilee will be heartbroken.” Cupcake was starting to feel her breath escaping from her.
 
“Pound and Pumpkin will never have a good father. He’s going to leave us to join her harem. I’ll be left all alone to run everything by myself. Every—“
 
Bonbon back-hoofed Cup across the face. “Get ahold of yourself, you're starting to hyperventilate! Look, I don’t know what is going on, but I do know one thing. He keeps to his word, I am hundred percent sure he wouldn’t do that to you. You just need to have faith in him.”
 
Cupcake sat back down on the bed her nerves were calmed and her cheek hurt like hell. “That really hurt.” Cupcake said though bittersweet tears. “Thanks.”
 

 
The moment was ruined as a half dead human walked into the room. His eyes were glazed over and the only thought in his head was to lay on the bed and sleep.
 
“Bonbon,” you said half dead to the world. “Can you put Lyra to bed please? And I’m sorry in advance.”
 
Bonbon just nodded as she looked at your bare chest.  She thought you would be covered in jelly, but there wasn’t a speck on you anywhere.
 
“That was fast, the way Lyra had been going on about it, I thought you would be in there for hours. Where is Lyra?”
 
“Once she gets feeling back in her legs she promised she would clean up the mess. Oh, and don’t go into the bathroom. Seriously, don’t.”
 
You laid down in the bed and tried your best to forget about all that just happened.  Cup tried to smile, but there was that new tiny speck of doubt that was burrowing inside her mind.
 
Bonbon was worried though, “I am going to check on her, before I forget I accidently opened your letter, I thought it was for me.” Bonbon lied.
 
Under normal circumstance you would have been a little mad. But, honest mistakes happen, besides, you just didn’t have the energy to care. If she was going to check on Lyra, that would be punishment enough.
 
“Can you hand me the letter please?” You said not even turning your head to face them. You didn’t even know who put the letter in your hand. “Thanks.” You raise it to your face as you begin to read it over.
 
Bonbon just looked at Cup Cake and shrugged, they should thank Lyra for the bullet they dodged.  Bonbon now gave into her worry as she shut the door to the room, bidding both of you a good night.
 
Cupcake now laid down next to you, she was looking into your eyes as you read over the letter. She wanted to know what you were thinking, what you would do. Really, she wanted you to turn and hold her; to make love to her, and tell her that she was the only pony in the world that mattered.
 
Even more than Pinkie. It was a selfish thought, but she couldn’t help but feel it.
 
“Hun, where is ‘Luna’s Love Lounge’?”
 
He wants to talk about the letter?
 
“It’s on the other side of town, near the river… why are you interested in that place?”  Cupcake said nonchalantly.
 
“I have some business to take care of, with royalty of all things. Princess Luna to be precise.” You said smiling as you set the letter on her night stand.
 
Cup Cake felt oddly happy, he just opening admitted that he was going to see a princess. It wasn’t a secret anymore.
 
“So… what business do you have with her…” Cup said innocently.
 
You turned to Cup Cake and looked straight into her big pink doe eyes. “That’s a secret.”  That wasn’t what Cup Cake wanted to hear, she nestled closer to you and took her place in the crux of your arms.

“I’m sorry.” You said as you wrapped her in your arms.
 
“Why are you sorry?” Cup said slightly worried.
 
“With everything that happened today, I didn't give you a single bit of you and me time. I kind of ran off like a child this morning and left you with most of the work.”
 
Cup couldn’t help but smile. That was the stupidest thing you could be sorry for. And she was actually worried you were going to cheat.
 
“It’s ok… you know, we're alone now… if you want…” Cup said as her back hoof grazed your groin.

You shuddered, not in a good way. “Hun, please, no. Any other time I would jump at the chance just not tonight. I beg of you.”
 
“What happened?” Cup curiously.
 
“Lyra forgot to use the bathroom before we started, my arm was so covered in jelly I didn’t notice the difference in texture. Well long story short Lyra said she would clean up the ceiling, walls and the floor.”
 
Cup Cake didn’t want to play around anymore.
 

 
As hard as Cup tried to sleep, nothing would put her mind at ease long enough. She wanted to know what you were going to do with Luna at a shady hotel after dark. Her mind kept coming to the same conclusion every single time. Yet you were open about meeting her there, even though you wouldn’t say why. She looked up at your sleeping face and could only smile. She felt so bad for doubting you, but she did.
 
She nestled closer to your body as she looked up and could only see the bottom of your chin.  She knew she could do something though, now she could finish what she started.
 
“I love you.” Cup whispered as she kissed the bottom of your cheek.
 
A moment passed as she settle back down using your forearm as a pillow.
 
“I love you too.” You whispered back. Cup froze in place as she felt a pair of lips kiss the top of her mane.
 
“Y-y-you’re awake?” Cup said in a whisper.
 
“Yup.”
 
[…]
 
“I just—“
 
“It’s ok Cup. You can tell me again, when you’re ready. I love you though, remember that. Don’t doubt me when I say that I’ll always be with you.”
 
[…]
 
“Will you stay even if Pinkie leaves?”
 
[…]
 
“Yes. I never make a promise I can't keep.”
 
[…]
 
“I love you.”
 
“I love you too.” You whispered.