//------------------------------//
// A very awkward morning 
// Story: How not to behave in a library. 
// by The_Swedish_Horror 
//------------------------------//

Twilight woke up in and old, lumpy bed. At first she didn't recollect how she had gotten here since yesterday, but then she remembered how she had found a nice, elderly pony who had let her sleep over in her guestroom. They were at a small trading village somewhere near the city of Tall Tale, south of Vanhoover. 
Twilight's body felt stiff and she still carried with her the smell of brunt grass from the wildfire she had caused yesterday. She got up, stretched her legs and hid her dirty, scorched railway uniform under the bed where she hoped nopony would ever look. It was always best to get rid of the evidence. 
"Have you slept well, my dear unicorn?" a voice asked. 
The voice belonged to Mrs. Purplepony, the old earth pony that lived in this cottage. She put a tray with a cup of coffee on a small table in the room. 
"Yes, I slept like a queen," Twilight lied. 
"Good. I don't often have visitors here, you see. Do you want to read the morning paper?" 

When Twilight looked at the front page she spat out the coffee over the table in sheer chock. The text red: 

"RAILWAY DISASTER caused by unknown UNICORN. Yesterday a lavender coated unicorn caused extensive damage to the Equestrian Railway Company's property by failing to correctly apply the brakes on a freight train. The unicorn fled from the scene and is now wanted by the police as a suspect. She is believed to be named Sparklight Twinkle and is not considered dangerous if approached, although caution is advised. Her cutie mark is a star with smaller, white stars around it and her mane is dark blue with a streak of dark pink in the same color as her cutie mark." 

On the next page she could also read: 

"Huge wildfire north of the Unicorn Range. Nopony was hurt, but it took the weather control pegasi several hours to extinguish the flames. Lightning Dust, a heroic pegasus, spotted the fire and could quickly alert the fire fighting unit to the scene. The fire is believed to have been caused by arson or neglect. The police are encouraging the public to provide clues that might lead to the conclusion of the case. Also a lavender coated unicorn in a railway uniform was spotted in the vicinity of the fire." 

"Is there anything wrong?" Mrs. Purplepony asked while mopping up the spilled coffee from the table with a napkin. 
"Uh... um... No, I just... I'm just allergic to coffee."
"Oh, dear. I didn't know. May I have a look at the news? I haven't red them yet, you see."
Twilight reluctantly dropped the paper in front of her. With a shaking hoof, Mrs. Purplepony put on her reading glasses. 
"Now... let's see here..." 
Twilight felt her pulse beat faster. She started to fiddle with the empty cup, filled it with new coffee but then she suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be allergic to coffee and she quickly put it down on the table. Mrs. Purplepony lowered her newspaper. 

"But please, if you're allergic to coffee you don't have to drink it, dear. I can make you a cup of tea instead. Or a glass of milk? Maybe some apple cider?" 
"My cutie mark is a banana!" Twilight said out of the blue, just to conceal the fact that her appearance perfectly matched the description of her in the paper. It was always a good idea to counter any suspicions before they arose, she thought.
"Oh, how nice for you... Have you red about the terrible railway accident?" the old pony asked.
"No... I mean yes... Maybe a little..."
"How dreadful. I'm so glad that nopony was hurt. They say that somepony forgot to apply the brakes... Awful things. I have always said that trains are too dangerous for ponies. Can you imagine? The Friendship Express crashing into a building at full speed with explosions and fires! Oh my! What a disaster!"
"Yes, a terrible thing..." said Twilight, while discretely reaching for a yellow piece of paper nearby. 
"Can you imagine? I always said that ponies should travel by hoof instead of train. It's not natural for horses to experience such high speeds. The intestines might get displaced by the sudden..."

"Achoo!" said Twilight while trying to rip the paper in into the shape of a banana. 
It didn't really work as she had expected since the piece of paper didn't look like anything but a... torn piece of paper.
"Celestia bless you."
"Thank you..."
"Achoo!" 
She ripped it again, and this time it resembled a banana more closely, she thought. 
"...the sudden movement of the train. It is so dreadful! And what about the foals? Young foals might be harmed from riding the train, because of their not yet fully grown legs. No, trains are bad for ponies. My old uncle always said that..."

With a little glow from her horn, Twilight magically pulled a small roll of tape to her and attached the banana shaped piece of paper over her cutie mark. It concealed the star a bit and she hoped that Mrs. Purplepony's bad eyesight would do the rest. 
"Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs. Purplepony, but now I have to continue on my journey," said Twilight and rose from the table as soon as the old pony had removed her glasses. 
"But please stay a little longer, Lightspark Twinkle! I've made a poem that I must read! It only takes a second..." 
"Oh, well, I suppose I could stay for a little longer..."
"How wonderful! I've placed it somewhere... Have you seen a yellow piece of paper?"
"No... I haven't seen anything like that. He he, absolutely no piece of paper in sight."
"I'll just put on my glasses..." Mrs. purplepony said. 

In a comic book about The Amazing Superpony Twilight had red that the aforementioned hero had in the last time managed to preserve his secret identity by blowing his breath on the glasses of a pony just about to discover him without his mask on. The condensation would make it impossible to see trough the glasses, she thought. Surely this ingenious idea would save her too! Mrs Purplepony must not discover that she wore her poem as a fake banana!
And Twilight blew her breath on Mrs. Purplepony's glasses! 
"Pffff!!"
"What are you doing?" 
"Pffffff! Pfffffff!"
"Please, stop it!" 
"Pfffff!"
"Stop it! And what is that on your flank...? Oh no! Not my poem!"
She snatched the torn piece of paper from Twilight's flank and immediately discovered her true cutie mark! 
"You're that awful pony from the newspaper!" 

Twilight leapt from the table and ran! She galloped for the door but Mrs. Purplepony threw herself in her way, grabbing the unicorn's hind leg. Both ponies rolled around on the carpet, wrestling and cursing. 
"Ponytails!" 
"Bucking hay!" 
Twilight kicked the door open and the fight continued into the garden. Mrs Purplepony pushed Twilight into the her plastic garden table, taking the waxed cloth with her in her fall. The unicorn threw a hoof full of clay pebbles in her face.
"Take that, you... you... poem writhing, paper reading..."
Then Mrs. Purplepony forcefully pulled away the artificial grass carpet, making Twilight fall over! She threw herself at her and tried to knock her out with a blow from a plastic flowerpot. The unicorn barely noticed the harmless weapon while furiously hitting Mrs. Purplepony with a cushion from the swing seat. 
"Stop it!" the old pony shouted and pushed the flowerpot over Twilight's head, blocking her view! 
The lavender unicorn got up on her hooves and tried to run away but in her blinded state she ran straight into the plastic greenhouse, shattering its brittle walls and diving headfirst into the flowerbed! 
She threw away the plastic pot from her head and grabbed a tomato plant.
"Give up, or I'll destroy your precious tomatoes!" Twilight screamed in anger. 
"Nooo!"
"To late!" she said and threw the plant in Mrs. Purplepony's head in a rain of earth and dirt. 
"You bad pony! Eat this!" the old pony shouted and wrested Twilight down, shoving the tomato in her face.
With a  forceful "Mmmbbbff!" Twilight spat the mashed vegetable all over Mrs Purplepony's mane. 

Although Mrs. Purplepony was old, she was surprisingly quick for her age. But she couldn't do magic. 
With a powerful spell, Twilight teleported herself into the air and jumped like a panther on her adversary. In a move worthy of a true wrestlingpony she slammed Mrs. Purplepony to the ground! 
"I'm so sorry! Please forgive me, Mrs. Purplepony!" she said and ran off.