Chapter 23
“Explain yourselves,” one of the guards demanded as an armoured pegasus rushed over to help Fluttershy out of the cake then make sure she didn’t get away.
“No! You explain yourselves for ruining a perfectly good surprise party by not being the ponies we intended to surprise!” Pinkie Pie replied, caring more about the party than the pointy spears being brandished at her and her friends.
“Pinkie Pie please don’t make the guards angry,” Fluttershy whispered to the irate pony, she then addressed the guards, “We were waiting on a friend of ours to come through here.”
“Ma’am this is the Royal Palace, not a party hall,” the guard stated. Fluttershy’s ears went flat against her head. “There are changelings on the loose in the palace.”
“Yeah we know, we are helping to look for them,” Pinkie Pie replied, bouncing on three legs and waving her hoof around in the air with the fourth. “Twilight and Princess Celestia said we could help, and then we found out that the Triumvirate was helping as well, so we decided to throw a surprise party.”
“Pinkie Pie,” Rarity spoke out, gaining the mare’s attention. “I think I might need to handle it from here. Terribly sorry to inconvenience you gentlecolts with this, please allow me to explain.” The guards offered to her an indifferent look that Rarity interpreted for her to continue the explanation. “We were waiting for one of our friends and some companions of hers. You see the three individuals who are with her are planning to help us find the changeling that’s been spying on everything going on in the palace. This party was merely a way to offer thanks for them agreeing to help.”
“Do you mean Twilight Sparkle?” One of the guards enquired. He turned to his subordinate and nodded. The subordinate trotted off and in a few moments the group was able to make out Twilight Sparkle, Scott, Stigandr, ten guards and a small pink bubble. After a few more seconds they made out the shape of a changeling lounging in the bubble.
“Don’t worry guys they’re with me,” Twilight assured the guards who finally relaxed if only slightly.
“Ma’am until we are sure they are not changelings-”
“Well I can say that’s definitely Pinkie Pie,” Ancro said. His layered voice was further altered by the reverberation from the bubble’s walls. He had guessed it wasn’t as stable as the one Shining Armor had used to contain him.
“How can you be sure?” Twilight asked recalling that Ancro said changelings couldn’t detect other changelings.
“She’s bouncing.” Ancro answered, “You could always give her a Pinkie Sense quiz.”
“How do you know about that?” Twilight asked, “And if you know it, wouldn’t it be common knowledge?”
“Yes, but knowing it and acting on it are two entirely different things,” Ancro countered, “Besides its not common knowledge amongst the other changelings. At least I think it’s not.”
“Alright, I have an idea,” Twilight said with a smile. Ancro noticed Pinkie Pie’s tail was twitching. He soon found out why. The bubble around Ancro vanished and before he could move his wings he hit the ground. Scott and Stigandr laughed and Ancro stuck a hoof straight up to signal that he was okay. The changeling had to admit that it was fairly good prank and he in all likelihood had it coming. Ancro was very careful with getting up. He didn’t want the two guards that flanked him to get the wrong idea.
“Well that’s definitely Pinkie Pie,” Stigandr said, “And I’m pretty confident that she would notice if the rest of her friends were changelings.”
“I got that thorn out of that Manticore’s paw,” Fluttershy said in a barely audible whisper.
“I used my own tail to fix that Sea Serpent’s mustache.”
“And Applejack dropped you off that cliff!” Pinkie Pie said. The pink pony had not given the statement any context and all the guards eyes shifted to Applejack. Applejack’s eyes shifted to Pinkie Pie who just stood by oblivious.
“Well y’see the cliff was collapsin’ and if I hadn’t let her go she woulda died,” Applejack explained rubbing one of her forelegs through her mane. “It’s a bit of a long story.”
“It’s okay,” Twilight said, “I know it’s you. That still doesn’t explain what you all are doing.”
“It was a surprise ‘thank you’ party for the Triumvirate, before these guards came along and ruined it.” Pinkie Pie pouted before perking up, “At least it’s still a party!” As if waiting for those words the lights in the ballroom turned on and the music started.
“I didn’t know what music you liked so I picked some of Equestria’s top party songs!” Pinkie Pie shouted to the three friends.
“I actually prefer symphonic metal,” Ancro said. The changeling could hardly contain his disdain for pop music. “That and-” His mouth stopped working right and no sound came out. He facehoofed. Ponies have symphonic metal but don’t have bluegrass? What was the universe coming too?
The fifteen guards stood there stoically, keeping their eyes trained on the changeling, unicorn, and griffin in case they tried to take advantage of the situation. The senior officer had started to get fears of a hostage situation forming. Suddenly the music stopped and there was an internal sigh of relief amongst the guards.
---
“Where’s the lesbian one?” Scott whispered to Ancro and Stigandr. Twilight was busy trying to talk Pinkie Pie into postponing the party. She seemed to be making some headway after turning down the music.
“She’s not a lesbian,” Stigandr answered.
“How should I know,” Ancro answered at the same time, “I’ve been here with you the entire time.”
“This is true,” Scott said. “So do we have any idea how to find the changelings in the palace?”
“Well first thing we should do is narrow down the list. Right now it consists of everypony on the palace staff,” Ancro said.
“Which is a lot I take it,” Scott replied somewhat crestfallen at the realization that this wasn’t going to be as easy as he had hoped.
“So do changelings have any means to detect each other?” Stigandr asked. “Twilight said you didn’t know any but did you get any funny feelings while we were in the tunnels with those siblings?”
“Nothing that I can remember,” Ancro said. “Though with the damage Shining Armor did to me it should be nothing less than a miracle I remember my name.”
“Even though you can’t say it?” Scott smiled. It took a second to register but eventually all three members of the Triumvirate were laughing.
“Excuse me,” Applejack spoke up, “What are you all laughin’ ‘bout.”
“Don’t worry about it Applejack,” Stigandr replied casually, “It’s an inside joke.”
“Yall best not be thinkin’ of ways to cause any trouble,” the earth pony said pointedly.
“Don’t worry,” Stigandr said, “When I’m around these two will behave.”
“Ah’m gonna be blunt Stigandr,” Applejack said, “Ah don’t trust you or yer griffin friend ferther than ah could toss ya. You two used mah friends so that ya’ll could free him,” Ancro suddenly felt singled out. It was a feeling he genuinely didn’t like. “Now ah’m only gonna tell ya this once. If even fer a second ah think any of you are thinkin’ of doing somethin’ sneaky ta break out, ah’ll buck you into the throne room mahself.”
“Understood,” Stigandr said. The other two nodded in agreement.
After she had walked off to try to explain the situation of why the party needed to be delayed to Pinkie Pie, Ancro turned to Scott and Stigandr and very calmly said, “Please tell me that I’m not the only one who wasn’t terrified by that.”
“I was a little frightened, but not that bad,” Scott said.
“I agree it may have been a little disconcerting but we can trust Applejack not to judge us unfairly,” Stigandr added.
“Guys, Luna didn’t correct me on the deep dark pit part of the statement and we have a potentially aggressive paranoid earth pony watching us,” Ancro responded smiling nervously, “I give that pretty good reason to be terrified.”
“Relax we’ll do fine,” Scott said, trying to be comforting. Ancro wanted to tell him that he knew he was just as, if not more, nervous than he was, but decided against it, letting his friend think he was actually helping him.
“Yeah, besides I work a bit better when I’m under stress,” Ancro stated before he took a deep breath.
“You act like you’re in this by yourself,” Stigandr said putting his hoof on his friend’s back.
“Yeah we are all in this together,” Scott said. “Besides Stigandr won’t do well in prison, I mean look at that face! It won’t be long before he’s some big stallion named Bubba’s gets you.”
“Scott, odds are the griffins will do far worse things to you,” Stigandr countered, then added, “and they’ll also probably make you like it.”
“Also Scott, watch your volume,” Ancro said, “Fluttershy is in earshot.”
---
“Name and business.” The guard at the gate ordered.
“Umm, yes,” Specs replied more or less in character than anything else. The mare she had replaced had been, if anything, uncertain of herself. “My name is Entomology. I’m here from the school to study the changeling.”
The guard looked at her ID, eyeing it suspiciously. With effort, she avoided rolling her eyes. The act was obviously supposed to scare changelings and it may have worked …if she was an infant. After a moment the guard let her pass and directed her to her room, which she was told was down the hall from the changeling’s room. She almost walked off then remembered that she had to stay in character.
“Excuse me,” She said to the guard, “Could you help me get to the room?”
“Ma’am, I’m not a tour guide. If you get lost ask some of the palace staff for help.” The guard replied flatly.
“Oh sorry,” She said in a meek voice before slinking off.
“Well played,” the voice whispered inside her head. “You just snuck past a praetorian.“
“A decena has infiltrated the palace,” She whispered to the voice.
“No, don’t be silly, a whole decena in the palace? That’d be crazy,” the voice replied. Specs let out a sigh of relief. “There are two.”
“You are giving me a week to train a changeling, a griffin, and a unicorn to fight against twenty praetorians?!” she thought back to the voice.
“Well just a changeling and a griffin. I don’t care much for the Stigandr,” the voice answered flatly. “Besides, you’re up to the challenge, after the way you tricked the other changelings and took care of that unicorn.”
Specs didn’t want to be reminded of that. Typically she would’ve much rather preferred to knock her out and store the body somewhere. Whoever was bossing her around scoffed at the idea. At least the pony didn’t die painfully, she had ensured that. All she felt was a little queasy then a quick blow to the back of the head. As well as having the best view in the restaurant, the booth was also the most secluded. All she had to do was edge one of the vases off just enough to make it look like that’s what got her. Then she had to do then was explain the situation to the others . They all agreed the last thing that they needed was an investigation. Begrudgingly they stored the body in a cocoon in the basement until they could find a more convenient time to dispose of her.
“Now don’t be depressed,” the voice said. “It’s not like I’m holding you hostage, just everyling you know.”
“If I ever have the chance, I will kill you,” Specs thought to the voice.
“That is extremely unlikely,” the voice replied. “And if I were you, I’d be more concerned on finding time and innovative teaching methods.”
---
Princess Cadence was out of her room for the first time in days. She still didn’t feel up to it, but she knew that if she didn’t get out of her depression she’d never stop be able to get up. Her eye was still slightly discolored, she hadn’t used magic to fix it, healing spells were never something she was particularly good at. She added going by the palace doctor to her mental list. Then she would find her husband and talk to him. She wasn’t going to try to get an apology she knew he was tormenting himself. No, Cadence was confident that all they had to do was sit down and talk about it.
She was surprised when the nurse said that the doctor was out today. Apparently he had been called away. Something about trying to fix a pegasus’ eyes in ponyville. The pony was apparently a special case and all previous attempts to fix her eyes had only been temporary before they would relapsed. She was assured the doctor would be back by tomorrow. She didn’t want Shining Armor to see her with the bruise he gave her. She’d have to wait until tomorrow, or until she found Twilight. For a moment she thought about going to see Celestia, but she had a lot on her mind already and didn’t want to bother her with this lover’s quarrel.
“Excuse me,” Cadence asked one of the guards, “Do you know where I could find Twilight Sparkle?” The alicorn had already been to the guest rooms and hadn’t seen either her sister-in-law or any of her friends.
“Twilight’s giving a tour to Scott, Stigandr and their changeling ‘friend’,” Rainbow Dash said before the guard could answer. The pegasus had apparently been looking for Twilight as well. She decided to go back to her room and wait for the unicorn’s return after getting lost in the palace for half an hour.
“I’m actually in a bit of a hurry,” Cadence replied. “I don’t really have time to wait.”
“Not a problem, I hate waiting too. Between the two of us I’m sure that we’ll find her in no time,” Rainbow Dash declared.
“Alright then, lead the way,” Cadence said, feeling a bit cheerful and followed the cyan pegasus down the hall.
---
Una felt a familiar presence. It made her smile to know that her brother had made it into the praetorians and she was going to live to see him one last time. She wasn’t surprised by the actions his commanders had taken and had expected him to be the one to kill her. Praetorians were fiends like that. If he failed to kill her then he would be killed for disobeying an order. If the queen was in a forgiving mood she wouldn’t see fit to torture their family. Chrysalis was notoriously unforgiving of disobedient changelings, especially praetorians.
Una was forced to wonder how long she would have to wait. She was never patient, even in training when she had drawn her opponents. She killed them while they slept or through creative accidents. Only one made it to the ring, and she suspected that may have been fixed. Regardless, she had proven herself by swiftly beheading her opponent. The look on his face right before he realized he was dead was priceless. Noling else predicted that she would be able to turn her claw into an ax so swiftly. The sound when the dense bone met his chitinous armor. The onlookers who saw it coming had expected it to merely break the poor bastard’s neck. They hadn’t expected the edge of the blade to have a vestigial horn that heated and vibrated the ax, allowing for cleaner cuts.
It was innovative and she thought that it may have impressed the queen. She remembered when she thought just because she had a different weapon she was special. Her first commander had her confined to her barracks for two months, and just to be sure he broke all of her legs and her spine daily. At first she thought it was more hazing. Later she realized that her father was trying to teach her that praetorians had to obey the same rules, only the punishments were slightly less severe. What made it worthwhile was the various perks, chiefly a level of autonomy that was unheard of within the other parts of the changeling army. The food was good as well, far better than fighting for scraps with the legionnaires or the Tartarus damned levies.
She talked her little brother out of the levies where he would’ve surely died or disappeared into joining the praetorians. Now he was standing right outside her door on his first mission. Her pride overpowered her small and insignificant fear of death. She had accepted it as all praetorians had to accept their failures. Death was inevitable, and she couldn’t feel more proud of the changeling who was carrying it out.
---
Shining Armor had resigned himself to his room. He thought that was for the best after a gardener had found him screaming at himself in the maze. Still, all the things that he had thought when he started arguing with himself had made sense. He was beginning to think he wasn’t fit to protect Equestria, Canterlot, or even his own wife.
The thought of packing up and leaving for the Crystal Empire crossed his mind. Cadence would eventually return and maybe they could talk about it. He just wished that he could look at himself in the mirror without wanting to break it. He doubted she would ever forgive him. Why should she? He couldn’t even protect her before their and now he’s attacking her!
Discord had left Specs alone and was now watching the outcome of his work on Shining Armor. The god wasn’t powerful enough to make him go full grey and that was far too noticeable. Especially by the Element of Laughter. He just had to keep Shining Armor in a self-loathing state of mind. Discord doubted that he could keep Shining like that for too long. His wife was, after all, looking for him so that they could make up.
The changeling’s were also surveying the captain around the clock and were moving in on Ancro and his friends. They were going to attack in a week. Discord wasn’t a fan of keeping to schedules. Neither was he a fan of waiting. Discord felt that two days was a more appropriate time. For a moment he thought that he should tell Specs of this change in plans. Discord shrugged and figured he’d tell her about five minutes before claw. It would be more fun that way.
---
“See, I told you that there was no way Pinkie Pie could set up a party with all the guards.” Twilight said. She had rushed to make up for lost time during Pinkie Pie’s party that they had postponed. There wasn’t much left to see after that, just a few wings of the palace that housed various quarters for staff and workers and the plumbing. Twilight looked around the room to be doubly certain, then looked at Ancro’s knowing smile. “You sense her, don’t you.”
“Eeyup.” The changeling replied.
“Aw, c’mon! You are such a party pooper,” Pinkie Pie said as she fell from the ceiling along with confetti and balloons.
“Sorry,” Ancro said sheepishly.
“Pinkie Pie, we really need to be trying to get some work done,” Twilight said. “We need to try to find the changeling.”
“C’mon Twilight, it’s only 3:30,” Pinkie whined. For a second Ancro thought Twilight was going to give herself an aneurysm from the anger he was feeling off her.
“And why is this one your favorite?” Scott whispered to Ancro.
“Because she’s insane,” Ancro whispered back. After a few minutes Twilight, Stigandr, and Scott excused themselves from the small and slightly awkward party.
“It’s been a busy day,” Ancro said trying to comfort the pink pony.
“I know I just figured I could try to help a bit. Cake?” Pinkie Pie asked, balancing the plate on top of her mane.
“No thanks,” the changeling replied. “I can’t taste anything unless somepony eats it.”
“Well why didn’t you say so?” Pinkie replied. In one swift motion the cake bounced off her mane flipped through the air and landed in her mouth. Ancro was almost salivating as the delicious taste of the cake entered his mouth.
“Hey Pinkie,” Ancro said, secretly bracing himself for asking a question that he hoped didn’t end with a party cannon blast, “Do you count me as a friend?”
“Nope not really,” Pinkie Pie said flatly, “More along the lines of a friendly acquaintance.”
“Alright,” Ancro said doing his best not to seem hurt...awkward silence. “So where’s the rest of the troupe?”
“Oh, Rarity said she had to finish up an outfit to go with your fez, Fluttershy is too scared to be trapped in anything smaller than a ballroom with you, and Applejack said that she made her reason for coming in the first place perfectly clear to you guys earlier, whatever that means.”
“She was threatening to turn us in if we did anything suspicious,” Ancro answered.
“I don’t know why she had to go and say that,” Pinkie Pie responded with a hoof on her chin, “It should be obvious that we’ll all do that.”
“Nice to know that you have all that faith in us Pinkie Pie,” Ancro said.
“Hey, you just need to help us find the changelings,” Pinkie Pie said, “Then we’ll trust you more. Besides, if you do put a hoof out of line I still got my party cannon.”
Ancro smiled. “So have you figured out my riddle yet?”
“No I haven’t and I’ve asked a raven and a writing desk,” Pinkie said as her eyes narrowed,“I’m starting to think it doesn’t have an answer.”
“Of course it has an answer.” Ancro said smiling, “You just haven’t figured it out yet.” Ancro wished he could tell her the answer since he could feel that it was eating her alive. If he could only talk about Earth then they...well then he and his friends could end up locked in some mental wing of a pony insane asylum for just being that crazy.
“So the only way you can taste anything is if somepony else eats it?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“...yes,” Ancro replied somewhat unsure of what to expect.
“Can you control it?” Pinkie Pie asked, Ancro noticed she had been inching towards the open bathroom door.
“Not particularly,” Ancro replied, remembering the time Stigandr had tried grass. He wasn’t dumb. He knew he was walking into a trap. The human turned changeling was only curious to what the trap entailed.
“So if a pony ate soap you’d have to taste it as well?” She darted towards the open bathroom door and Ancro pounced. He had had his mouth washed out with soap plenty of time by his mother, and he refused to have it done by Pinkie Pie. Especially when he hadn’t done anything to deserve it!
---
“Well this is the only place that we haven’t checked.” Rainbow Dash said as they approached the Triumvirate’s room. Rainbow Dash had been avoiding looking at, commenting on, or even acknowledging Cadence’s eye. She hadn’t been doing a good job at it.
“I know it looks awful.” Cadence said, “believe me though it is going to get better.”
“I still can’t believe what that changeling made Shining Armour do to you.” Rainbow Dash said, “If I ever get the chance to I’ll teach him a lesson.”
“Rainbow Dash, Shining Armor was out of control.” Cadence said, “He didn’t even know what he was doing until it was too late. That still doesn’t excuse him and we will sit down and talk about it.”
“Still, somepony has to be blamed,” Rainbow Dash replied.
“Rainbow Dash, you’re a black belt right?” Cadence asked to which Rainbow Dash nodded. “Then you know that there are certain reflexive triggers that you pick up over time, for instance if somepony sneaks up on you?”
“Yeah there are sometimes when I still get snuck up on,” Rainbow Dash said remembering all the times Pinkie Pie has gotten the drop on her.
“Yes and do you have to restrain yourself if you are real tense to make sure that you didn’t hurt the wrong pony?” Cadence asked in a tone saying that she already knew the answer. “It was dark, he thought I was in danger and was doing everything he could to find me.”
Before Rainbow Dash could respond there was a yelp behind the door. Rainbow Dash reacted sooner than the guards and flung the door open. She saw that the changeling was on top of Pinkie Pie! That was more than enough for her.
She stopped midair adjacent to Ancro and completed the kick she started after assessing the scene. The kick connected with Ancro’s front knee caps and bent them back the opposite way as the forceful blow continued until it hit the changeling’s upper chest. In Ancro’s brain the slow motion effect of adrenaline had already kicked in as his forelegs bent a way he was sure they weren’t supposed too. Then when the kick connected with him he felt the incredible force across his ribcage as his body was sent backwards and he ended up crashing into the bed behind him. The changeling decided it would be best not to get up for a bit. Why was he the one having to get used to bones breaking since he got here?
---
“Rainbow Dash!” Cadence said as she went into the room followed by guards.
“Pinkie!” Twilight said as she barged in from the adjacent room. Stigandr and Scott followed immediately after calling for their friend thinking he had run afoul of the party cannon. Then saw a heavily breathing Rainbow Dash.
“Ancro are you alright?” Stigandr asked approaching his friend on the bed. Several guards eyeing them wearily.
“Did you know that sarcasm is still possible when you go into shock?” Ancro asked smiling. “Hey do us both a favor and don’t let Scott see?”
“Don’t let me see what?” Scott said as he went over to the bed then almost immediately darted into the bathroom.
“Pancakes don’t taste nearly as good the second time around.” Ancro said while turning a bit green.
“Will somepony please explain to me what happened?” Twilight shouted. Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and explained what she saw.
“Wait, so Ancro attacked you?” Cadence asked Pinkie after hearing Rainbow Dash’s explanation. Ancro suddenly felt as though all the sharp pointy objects in the room were fixing to make a beeline for him. Stigandr tensed up as two of the guards stood behind him. The unicorn was really hoping his cutie mark had found a way around the ring on his horn. He was nervous to charge it because somepony was bound to notice in this room.
“Kinda, we were playing around and I was gonna make him taste soap, he jumped at me to try to stop me from locking myself in the bathroom, and I yelped a bit to go along with it and Rainbow Dash came in and kicked him really hard, like really really hard!” Pinkie Pie explained and pointed to the changeling catching his breath on the bed. “It was all an honest misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding?” Twilight said, “He attacked you!”
“I wasn’t going to do anything.” Ancro shouted from the bed. “We were playing.”
“How do we know you weren’t planning to take her hostage?” Rainbow Dash said flying over and hovering inches from Ancro’s face eyeing him suspiciously.
“It’s Pinkie Pie,” Ancro explained in a flat tone, “I don’t think I could do that morally or logistically.”
“You had a plan, although given your track record I’d say it wasn’t a good one,” Rainbow Dash said smiling a bit as she tried to get under the changeling’s skin. She was succeeding, as two of Ancro’s pet peeves were being that close into his personal space and calling him a liar while insulting him.
“Rainbow Dash,” Ancro said in a very articulate and direct tone, “Do you want to wait until my legs are healed and we can take this to the mat?”
“Eager to get your butt beat again so soon?”
“No, eager to teach you a thing or two about personal space,” Ancro replied.
“Excuse me,” a red unicorn with a blonde mane said and she poked her through the magical light curtain of the door and into the room, “This is the Triumvirate’s room, correct?”
(Big thanks to my editors Tuv, Pon Katt, Tsujin Rilauco, Abyx4433. Well they plan to keep me at Subway...which is good I think. Thanks to my artist Sara (shaya.laperro@gmail.com) for doing the cover art. Also thanks to my friends who don't mind me writing about them in this regard. As usual if you fav it like it and feedback is appreciated. If you don't feel comfortable sending me negative feedback through the comments just pm me. Thanks for reading!)