Dang O' Ponies, I Tell You What

by LtMajorDude


Cotton VS Big Macintosh

Sweet Apple Acres

The next day

Hank and his friends are heading towards Sweet Apple Acres for jobs and, hopefully, cider.

Bill sighed at the sight of the massive apple orchard. "Ah, will you look at that...just like Apple Famliy Reunion. Raise This Barn, Raise This Barn...!"

"Bill, now is the best time?" Hank muttered. "Sorry." Bill said with a nervous grin.

Hank rolled his eyes and saw Applejack.

He smiled and spoke up. "Hey Applejack."

Applejack smiled. "Howdy fellas! What brings ya here?"

"I heard you needed help on the Applebuck Season." Bill replied.

Applejack nodded. "I do need some help." she said. "Mind if ya fellas help?"

Boomhauer nodded. "Tell ya what man yea man happy to help dang o' helping hands or man hooves man yo dang o applebuck season? Dang what is that man yo?"

Bill answered, "You harvest apples!"

Dale was confused. "HOW? Do we use some sort of harvest machine or something?"

Bill smirked "Come on, follow me! I'll teach you. I think I know how to do it."

Applejack smiled. "C'mon I'll give ya fellas your harnesses."

As Hank and his friends followed Applejack, Hank asked, "How's my dad?"

Applejack grinned. "He's getting along mighty well wit mah family, especially Big Mac." She replied. "Why do ya ask?"

Just then they saw Cotton flew and crashed into an apple tree. Applejack, Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer were shocked at the sight and saw Big Macintosh, with a furious look on his face.


Earlier

Cotton was busy bucking apple trees. He didn't notice somepony walking up to him.

"Listen Cotton." a voice said behind Cotton.

Cotton waved him off with his hoof. "Shut your mouth, Clifford the Big Red Dog." he growled. He knew it was Big Macintosh.

"WILL YA JUST LISTEN TO ME?" Big Macintosh growled with a furious look.

Cotton turned around and smirked.

"And what makes you think I would do that?" he said evilly.

Big Macintosh continued to growl.

"FOR CELESTIA'S SAKES," he shouted. "IF YA DO NOT SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME...!"

Cotton continued to smirk. "What are you going to do?" he contiunued, humored by Big Macintosh's furious face. "Say 'Yup' and drink beer and crap like that? Like mah pathetic son? Sell fuel and work in a gas station? Like mah stupid son? Get a narrow uthera? Like mah idiot son? Huh, Big MOTHERFUCKER?

Cotton spat in Big Macintosh's face and started to laugh.

Big Macintosh snapped. He slowly wiped the spit from his face and quickly turned around and bucked Cotton on the face. Cotton flew and collided with a tree.


Now

"Big Macintosh!" Applejack screamed. "What in tarnation are ya doing?"

Before Big Macintosh could answer, Cotton immediately got up and headbutted Big Macintosh.

Cotton laughed. "Is that all you got, Kool-Aid?" he said with a laugh.

"DAD! STOP!" Hank shouted.

Big Macintosh got up, his nose was broken and was leaking blood. He charged at Cotton.

Cotton dodged and kicked Big Macintosh on the flank.

Big Macintosh got more pissed and kicked Cotton on the face.

Cotton flew and hit an apple tree but got up right away, blood dripping from his nose.

He started to laugh evilly which made Big Macintosh even more mad.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YUIR DAMN LAUGHING! ! ! ! !" Big Macintosh roared.

He ran up to Cotton and headbutted him so hard that when Cotton got up, there was some blood from his mouth.

Cotton charged and uppercutted Big Macintosh. He crashed into a tree and laid there, breathing. More blood came from his nose and mouth, along with a purple eye and a broken tooth.

Big Macintosh slowly got up and glared at Cotton. Cotton glared at Big Macintosh...

...

...and started to roar with laughter.

Big Macintosh gritted his teeth.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" he shouted.

Cotton smiled. "You're fucking strong!" he said, ignoring the blood that was coming from his mouth. "You actually kicked my ass. Even mah own son can't kick my flank and he probably has more balls than ya! Maybe you ain't like my son, after all. I had you wrong!"

Cotton smiled and raised his hoof towards Big Macintosh.

Big Macintosh glared at Cotton...

...and smiled, as he shook Cotton's hoof. At least Cotton knew that I'm not like his son, Big Macintosh thought.

"You got blood on your nose." Cotton said. pointing to Big Macintosh's nose.

Big Macintosh wiped the blood on his nose.

"Thanks. Ya also got some blood on yuirs."

Cotton smiled and wiped the blood on his nose.

Big Macintosh smiled and pointed to Cotton's flank.

Cotton blinked and was surprised to see what was in his flank. A brass knuckle Cutie Mark.

Cotton chuckled. "It may not be a rifle with a helmet" he said. "But at least people know I kick ass! Damn I'm hurt bad! I'm goin' to the barn. Ya coming Mac?"

Big Macintosh chuckled. "Eeyup." he said as he followed Cotton.

Cotton sighed. "Do that Yup thing and I'll gut ya, OK?" he said with a smile.

Big Macintosh just chuckled and shook his head as he followed Cotton to the barn.

They didn't notice Applejack, Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer standing there confused.

"Well, at least now they don't hate each other" Hank said with a weak smile.

Applejack nodded and smiled weakly. "I guess yuir right." she said.

Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer followed Applejack to harvest some apples, trying to forget what just happened.