Tachyon Xenophile
The school bell rang. Colts and fillies rushed out, eager to spend their weekends having fun. Some were going to beg a stage magician to teach them for the 11th time, some were going to try to find their cutie marks, and one pink filly was going to almost double her family's wealth.
Diamond Tiara stopped, and checked to see that no one was around. They weren't. She picked her signature tiara off her head, and placed it on the ground. She tapped the hidden button in the center, and a secure signal sent through the Rich private satellite was beamed halfway around the world. Diamond Tiara smirked. Now to wait, she thought. He'll be here soon.
A blue-coated unicorn stallion walked up. He said, "Earth ponies are better at growing plants."
Diamond responded, "Cockatrices can petrify ponies by staring at them."
The stallion kept his blank expression, and said, "Griffons can fly faster than earth ponies."
Diamond finished, "Discord doesn't like vanilla milk rain."
The stallion smiled. "Good," he said, "you're Diamond Tiara. My name is Thorax Shifter."
Diamond raised an eyebrow. "That's a strange name for a unicorn. But then again, you're a Changeling, aren't you?"
Thorax Shifter's smile vanished. He looked around frantically, and Diamond was half convinced he was scanning the minds of the few ponies who were milling around. "Not so loud!" he whispered. "If I'm found out, our contract is void! If you want those 20 million bits, I need that data!"
Diamond pulled out her little notebook, and calmly said, "All right. Here it is. Every thing every member of Ponyville has done of notice in their lives here. It cost me more than 3000 bits to get all this, but it's worth it if you really have 20 million bits."
Thorax chuckled. "We have no use for pony money, except as a trade unit. We don't even have a currency." He pulled out his checkbook, and wrote her a check. All 20 million bits. Thorax levitated a small metal object in front of him. "We might need you later, so here's a earpiece. We can contact you whenever with this."
Diamond grabbed it, and apprehensively put it in her ear. It did not attempt to crawl inside her brain. She said, "Thanks. Pleasure doing business with you." With this, she left, and headed back home.
Her PFF, Silver Spoon, met Diamond a few blocks from her mansion. "Hi Di! How'd the deal go?"
Diamond grinned. "Perfect."
Silver leaned in conspiratorially. "And have you asked Snails on a date yet?"
Diamond blinked, and then shouted in outrage, "I don't like him!"
Silver smirked, and said "You can convince everyone and maybe even yourself, but not me."