//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Pranks and Misunderstandings // Story: When We Were Young // by FlimFlamBros. //------------------------------// The first time I found you in my bed was… well I did hardly know you at the time, and finding somepony gawking at me in while in my nightwear would give any sane girl a scare, although you didn’t exactly make things better… A thousand different thoughts rushed through my head at the time, but only one screamed louder than any other. “AHHHH!” Celestia shrieked, kicking and flailing out from under her bed sheets. “Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!” Discord’s eyes widened as he felt the blankets around him tighten, swallowing him up in the princess’s disarray of tangled sheets and fluff. Celestia kept panicking and only made things worse, with pillows and even her mattress beginning to teeter against her floundering of her bedspread. She eventually fell from the bed and landed on the cold hard floor, taking everything with her. And that included Discord, for when she finally managed to wiggle out of her spider web of sheets; she was met with the long, smirk of a grin of the draconequus. Discord had managed to roll on top of the princess, and he didn’t seem to hate it. “Well…” he smiled, looking seductively into the princess’s eyes. “Is this the part where we kiss?” WHACK! “OW!” cried Discord, clenching his nose after the princess delivered a rather brutal head butt to his face. He immediately rolled off of Celestia and continued to wallow in his pain. “Get the buck out of my room you creep!” Celestia screamed. “Guards! Guards! Any pony!” “That hurt!” moaned Discord, slowly getting up from the ground, still clenching onto his throbbing nose. “Am I bleeding? I think I’m bleeding! Celestia I asked you a question, am I bleeding?” WHACK! Celestia had used her magic to fling one of her chairs into the face of Discord. It smashed into his face, causing him to stagger a bit backwards as Celestia readied another piece of furniture. “What are you doing in my room?!” she demanded, throwing her hoof rest at the draconequus, who narrowly dodged the stool. “Answer me! I command you!” “First tell me if I’m bleeding!” Discord demanded back. “It feels like its bleeding and it’s definitely pulsing.” “If you don’t answer my question I’ll give you something to bleed over!” The princess growled. “How did you even get in here anyways?!” “Umm… the window…” replied Discord, pointing to the nearby open window. “Yeah, it was super easy. Security around here sucks,” he chuckled. “You know, it’s a good thing it was just me and not some crazy psychopath, otherwise you’d have a serious problem.” “Imagine that,” grumbled Celestia, still holding the draconequus at chair point. “What are you doing here, pervert?” “Hey, you came on to me!” “I did no such thing!” snapped the young princess. “You snuck into my room and crawled in my bed!” “And you were the one who tenderly embraced me,” grinned Discord. “Not my fault you can’t control your hormones.” “That’s it, I’m throwing the chair.” “Wait!” gasped Discord. “There is a reason I’m here though. Back in the market today I totally forgot to repay you for helping me out of that little bind.” Celestia lowered her chair a little. “Really? That’s all?” “Yeppers!” “And you couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?” “Where’s the fun in that?” Discord laughed. “If I had come tomorrow morning, we wouldn’t have been able to share in this beautiful little moment. And destroy half your room!” “Eh?” wondered the princess, looking around her room. There were broken pieces of furniture and blankets everywhere, like a tornado had rolled through her bed. “Oh, well that’s just great,” she mumbled. “That’s exactly what I was thinking!” Discord jested. “But I’m sure you’ll get one of your maids to clean it up for you. Tell me, do you make them wear those sexy little outfits?” “Didn’t you want to give me something? Because if so, give it to me and leave.” “So rash…” sighed the draconequus. “But then, what is it about a bad, bad girl that’s seems so tantalizing? Tell me, do you feel like a naughty, little, filly tonight?” “I feel like breaking apart an annoying, depraved, pervert,” Celestia snarled, readying her chair again. “Ugh, will you put that dang chair down?” Discord asked, rolling his eyes. “I thought we already established that I have no desire to hurt you. Even though you were a bad girl and hurt my nose, which I still haven’t gotten an apology for!” “Sorry,” the princess said half-heartedly. “So stop derailing the conversation and give me the gift or whatever so I can go back to sleep.” “Eager are we?” Smiled the draconequus. “So excited to start dreaming of discord and wonder.” “Trust me, you’ll be the farthest thing from my mind.” “I meant discord by definition, not by name,” said Discord. “I love misconceptions!” “You’re giving me a migraine…” “Really? Then my work here is done,” smiled Discord as he started to head towards the window. “Catch you later.” “Are you serious?” Celestia baffled. “That’s what my gift was?” “Yep.” “That has to be the worst gift in the history of everything!” “Well, I figured that a young mare in your position already has plenty of jewels and gold,” he said. “And judging by the massive size of your bubble butt, I can’t really give you chocolate or candy in good conscience.” “I do not have a—!” “So I asked myself? What do I give somepony who already has everything she could possibly want? And I say to myself, something she doesn’t have! So I gave you a migraine.” Celestia just stood there in the silence, lost by the draconequus’s flawed and terrible logic. “Yes, no need to thank me, it’s the least I can do,” Discord smiled cheekily. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get rolling.” He slithered through the air like a snake towards the open window that he came through and dived out, quickly poking his head back up and giving Celestia a quick wink. “We’ll have to do this again sometime. But until then, chow!” Discord disappeared into the darkness of the night, cackling and laughing as he flew away, leaving Celestia alone in the silence of her room. “… What the heck just happened?” She asked herself, staring dumbfounded at the window. It wasn’t worth the brain power to dwell on it. Celestia finally placed the chair back down on the ground, and looked over at her bed. Sighing heavily, she began to fix her bedspread again and once everything was back in place, she slipped back under her covers and tried to get back to sleep. But sleep eluded her. He was right, thoughts of discord and wonders ravaged her dreams. Twisting and turning in her bed, the thought of him was like a bad rash that wouldn’t go away as it itched her mind. The thoughts of his idiocy and ignorance annoyed her to no end and enraged her to know that the chances were that she would have to deal with him again in the future, though she dreaded the very thought. “Stupid Discord… why do you disrupt my mind?” she muttered, rolling over in her bed to gaze out the window and into the night sky. It was always her favourite time of the day. Night had a sense of peace and solidarity to it, a mystical beauty that only a few would ever be fortunate enough to experience. Not like the sun and the day it brought, where the ponies were awake, busy slaving away at their jobs predestined by the ball and chain of their cutie marks. It wasn’t like that with the starry night sky. With nothing but the dark skies dotted with stars and the cool dew of the night air, the night was Celestia’s only sense of freedom. Celestia got up from her bed. Despite her best efforts she was wired and wide awake. So she did what she always did when she couldn’t sleep, the princess rolled out of bed, grabbed her housecoat, and headed out her door. The castle was quiet this evening, mostly because everypony was already asleep. Even the guards that were supposed to be patrolling the castle halls were snoozing on the job. How they could sleep through her and Discord’s fiasco she had no idea. She decided to go look for something to draw on their faces, a quill and ink from the castle’s library would probably do, and would certainly teach them for sleeping on the job. Slowly down the halls she crept, making sure not to disturb any of the castle’s occupants. As she turned the corner of the third hall, she heard some chatter coming from one of the guest bedrooms. Always one to snoop, Celestia couldn’t help but stop and investigate the conversation. Approaching the door, she peeked through the crack of the door to see her brother and Symphony rocking little Cadence asleep. “I always love these little three a.m. wake-up calls,” yawned Curator, sitting up against the bed, watching his wife hum silently to his only child. “You know, you didn’t have to wake up as well,” she sighed. “It’s my turn to rock Cadence back to sleep.” “Eh, I wasn’t sleeping well anyways.” “Is something wrong?” His wife asked. “N... no, it’s nothing really,” he said. “Maybe it’s just the jetlag or something.” “Are you sure?” Symphony wondered. “You know you can tell me anything that’s bothering you.” “I know that sweetie,” said Curator. “But trust me, nothing is wrong.” “It’s just that I hate to see you so stressed over anything,” she said, lowering the now sleeping Cadence back into her crib by the bed. “Remember that time you accidentally lost our daughter’s favourite blanket and you spent two days tearing the kingdom apart looking for it?” “I think that just shows that I’m an awesome dad,” chuckled Curator. “And just wants to see his daughter happy.” “Yes, but you also went a little crazy by the end of it,” Symphony said, crawling up next to her husband and cuddling under his arm. “And it turns out that it was under Cadence’s pillow the entire time.” “Yeah, not my proudest moment...” said her husband, blushing a little. “What I’m saying is… you have a tendency to blow things out of proportion and overreact over the little stuff. If you talk about it with me, then maybe we can work it out together as a team.” “I appreciate it, but I think it’s just a little sleep apnea,” said Curator. “Are you worried about the Crystal Empire?” Symphony asked. “No,” shook Curator. “Sombra’s in charge so everything should be fine. He’s been loyal to me for years and I trust him to alert me if anything major were to happen.” “Well… is it about me? Or Cadence?” “Of course not, and speaking of, we should try and be a little quieter, we don’t want to wake up our little princess.” “Oh, right,” blushed Symphony, looking over to the crib. “We can talk more about this in the morning.” “Thank you,” smiled Curator. “I love you.” “I love you too.” The two dug deeper into the covers as they got ready to go to sleep, shutting off the lights and snuggling up against one another. Celestia saw that nothing else interesting was going to happen so she decided to continue towards the library. She passed by a few more sleeping guards, she really needed to talk to her mother about their importance around the castle considering that they all seemed less than useless, and finally reached the large azure copper doors of the library. Celestia went to open the door but found that it was already opened slightly, which puzzled her. Was everypony still up besides the guards? Opening the door, she found her little sister reading quietly in the corner under a small reading lamp. The little night princess seemed to be deep within her novel and didn’t notice Celestia entering the library. “This is too perfect,” Celestia quietly whispered to herself, smirking as her horn began to glow. A light aura of her magic quickly covered each of her hooves. Tapping them on the ground a few times to make sure the silent spell worked, the young princess slowly started to creep into the shadows of the library and towards her sister, drawing ever closer until she was right behind her sister’s lounge chair. She quickly uncasted the silent spell and loomed over her little sister, grabbed the top of the chair with her hooves and gave it a shake. “BOO!” shouted Celestia at the top of her lungs. “EEK!” shrieked Luna, jumping out of her chair and throwing her book up in the air. Her head bolted around in a panic to try and find the pony that had scared her, and she found her laughing hysterically on the ground. “Y-You make it too easy, Lulu!” cried Celestia, continuing her giggling fit. “You can be such a little spaz!” “Celestia!” yelled Luna, her nostrils flaring and gritting her braces-clad teeth. “What the hay is wrong with you?!” “Oh, don’t be such a foal about it,” she sighed, getting up as she wiped away some tears created by her laughter. “So, what’cha doing?” “None of your business,” grumbled Luna, picking up her book. “Just leave me alone.” “What are you reading?” Celestia asked, dashing up next to her sister and snatching her book. “Is it another one of your nerdy fantasy novels?” “Hey, give that back!” yelped Luna, trying to get her book back from her sister, but Celestia kept it way out of Luna’s short week. “It’s nothing you’d be interested in!” “I’ll decide that,” smirked the older sister, taking a look at the cover. “The Alicorn’s Bride? What’s this?” “It’s nothing! C’mon, Tia, you’re just doing this to be a jerk!” “Oh, now I’m totally going to give it back nerd burger,” Celestia said sarcastically, flipping through the pages. “Let’s see here… a princess and a pauper… kidnapping… true love and daring rescue? What kind of filly’s tale is this?” “Look, it’s a good book!” groaned Luna, still trying to get a hold of her book. “But I don’t see why you’re being so mean to me!” “Oh, sweet little sister,” grinned Celestia. “Causing you any sort of misery is far too much fun to ever pass up.” “One day, I’m going to get you back for being mean to me,” Luna growled, widening the sneer of her wired teeth. “Then you’ll be sorry.” “Oh, I’m shivering,” droned her sister. “I’m so afraid of what the little spaz is going to do.” “Stop calling me that.” “Whatever metal mouth,” Celestia said, rolling her eyes as she tossed the book back to Luna. “Here’s your stupid book back. I have to go find some quills and ink.” “Why?” Luna wondered. “There’re some guards sleeping on the job, so I’m going to draw stuff on their faces.” “They slept through all your screaming?” Celestia stopped in her search, looking back at her sister. “You heard that?” “Yeah…” “Why didn’t you do anything?” “I was hoping you were being kidnapped or something,” Luna said, giving her sister a sly and sinister smile. “I guess you suffocated them with all your body fat.” “And you wonder why we don’t get along,” muttered Celestia as she looked at the librarian’s desk. She opened a few of the drawers and found a couple of feathered quills and a few bottles of black ink. “Here we go.” “Wonderful, now leave. I want to finish the rest of my book before the sun comes up. I have to get used to the idea of sleeping with the moon.” “I don’t care,” said Celestia as she headed to the library’s exit. “Catch you at dinner.” “Unfortunately.” “Shut up,” muttered Celestia, closing the door behind her. Any sort of contact with her sister seemed to bring out the worst in her. But it wasn’t her fault that Luna was such a geek and so easy to pick on. But that was the past now and she had to focus on the future right now. And that included screwing with some guard’s faces. Finding the first couple of guards that were slumped against the walls, she quickly drew on a few mustaches and insulting phrases. Celestia giggled a little as she drew around their eyes and coloured in their eyelids. These two guard ponies must have been credibly heavy sleepers not to have felt the point of the quill against their faces. Then again, they also slept through a scream storm so she supposed it wasn’t too surprising. She continued to do this to every sleeping guard that she found, and there were a lot of them. She drew everything she could think of on their faces. Whiskers, stars, black eyes, curse words, pony genitals, nothing was off limits. “That’ll show you,” the princess said, grinning evilly as she put the finishing touches on the final guard. “Sleep on the job will you…? Hah!” “Celestia.” The new voice sent a shock through the young princess. Her head twirled around to see her mother standing right behind her, the same plain and emotionless expression on her face, donning the same judging eyes. “Mother!” Celestia said back to her, dropping the pen and quill. “What are you doing up so late?” “I could ask you the same question, Celestia,” said Faust. “But I already know why you’re awake.” “So you heard the screaming too, huh?” mumbled Celestia. “You know, it’d be nice if somepony actually cared about my safety enough to, oh, I don’t know, actually show up and help me!?” “Did you require assistance?” Her mother wondered, obviously knowing the answer. “No…” Her mother blinked. “Then you already know why no pony showed up. You didn’t need help. Did Discord not tell you he had no intention of hurting you?” “You know his name?” “I know the name of every creature in existence, as well as their past, present, and future. Which is why I am here this evening talking to you, my daughter.” “Okay…” Celestia said, looking quizzically at her mother. Faust had a way of making the simplest things make no sense whatsoever. “So, what? You’re mad that the guards are sleeping on the job? You’re mad that I drew stuff their faces? What did you want to tell me?” Her mother took a few steps forwards, her expression becoming eerily serious and a little unsettling. It freaked Celestia out a little as she had never seen this look from her mom. It was a strange, scary scowl that pierced through her body and left her numb in the legs. Her mother’s look may have actually been killing her. “I want you to stop thinking about him,” she finally said, stepping a few steps back and resuming her emotionless expression again. “He’s not the kind of being a princess should be affiliating with.” “Huh?” “I know it was him in your room,” Faust continued. “I know that you met him earlier today with your brother when you decided to sneak away and go eat cake. I know that you’ve lost sleep over him and that you find something strangely fascinating about him and I am asking you to stop, not as your goddess, or a queen, but as your mother. He’s a poison to this world and I will not have you drinking it.” “So... you’re forbidding me to see him again?” Celestia asked. “I’m asking you to forget about him,” she said. “I’ve already broken my most important rule with this conversation but you are my daughter. You are far too important to be corrupted by a creature like Discord. So be done with him and keep your windows locked from now on.” “But what if it gets hot in my room?” “Do as your mother tells you,” said Faust. “Now go to sleep, we begin tomorrow’s lecture at dawn. We need to make faster progress with your studies.” “Okay…” sighed Celestia as she turned around to head to her room. “Goodnight mom,” she said looking behind her, only to see that her mother had disappeared as silently as she came. With a heavy sigh, the young princess walked into her room. It was still fairly messy from her and Discord’s little dispute. ‘Do as your mother tells you’ her mother had said. ‘He’s a poison to this world and I will not have you drinking it.’ “A poison,” Celestia huffed. “What does she know… besides everything.” She walked up to her open window and peered through it to look at the setting moon. It truly was a beautiful sight to behold and a part of her was the tiniest bit jealous that her sister would get to spend her life in this peaceful and magical hour of night every night while she was forced to slave away in the heat of the beating sun. The night was the future sun goddess’s freedom and soon her mother would take even that away from her. ‘You are too important to be corrupted by a creature like Discord’ Discord was a strange little draconequus that she knew quite well. He was definitely odd and quirky with a tingle of insanity and a bad grip on reality. But from what Celestia could gather he was no more dangerous than a puppy dog. Yet for some reason he had caused her mother to do something that Celestia had never seen before. Panic, maybe? Whatever it was, it had caused her to confront her daughter and forbid her from further contact with him. A wicked grin grew on the face of the Princess as she closed the window and drew the curtains shut. She hopped into her bed and quickly got into the covers. It was always so nice for her to fall asleep knowing exactly what she was going to do tomorrow. I feel awfully foolish when I think of the reasons I did things back then, to make others miserable, to get a rise out of my mother. I was already poisoned and corrupted back then… just a selfish little brat. And it would be the oddest thing that out of everypony that I knew, out of all my family and friends, it would be you, my love, that would finally set me straight. And I realize now. My mother was wrong about you. You weren’t a poison… you were my cure.