//------------------------------// // XIX - The Clockwerk Confessional // Story: My Little Sly Cooper: Thievery is Magic // by Deyeaz //------------------------------// ~My Little Sly Cooper: Thievery is Magic~ Written by Deyeaz with the help of the ever-brilliant Alex Rite XIX - The Clockwerk Confessional *BOOOM!* The party cannon, chock-full of the contents that give the cannon it’s name, fired was at the room in the Library, the tablecloths, balloons, streamers, confetti, and other assorted items for the proper fete sailing across the store, landing in the designated areas they were created to decorate. Tablecloths were draped, punch was served, and many a pastry and baked good were devoured. “Whoa, never expected the party to go into full swing like this,” Bentley murmured, slowly munching on a salad he had bought next door so that he would have to avoid eating the sweets and jeopardising his health. The banner above his head read “Congratulations on your relationship, Murray and Pinkie Pie!” in large, curly letters that shined a little in the light. “Me neither, darling,” agreed Rarity, demurely taking a sip of her punch as she watched Pinkie and Murray dance in the center of the room. “But still, it is nice that those two are happy together.” “I’m just surprised it even happened,” said Sly, walking in between the two. “Murray isn’t exactly... good... at keeping a relationship stable.” “Or injury free,” added Bentley. “Really, guys?” asked Rarity irritably. “We’re at a party for your best friend and his new marefriend, and all you can think about is his flaws?” “Pretty much,” said Bentley and Sly in unison. Rarity facehoofed. “Woah!” said Pinkie as she... vibrated... over to them. “Guys, my Pinkie sense is going crazy! I think I feel a doozy coming!” “Pinkie sense?” asked Bentley. “Don’t,” said Rarity. “Just don’t.” She then turned to Pinkie. “No need to worry, dear. I’m sure as long as we stay in here, nothing will go wrong.” Pinkie was just about to disagree when Twilight called everyone over for cake. Everyone walked to the center of the room where a cake that was as impressive, albeit much smaller, as the MMMM was. On the cake were two candles, one for Murray and one for Pinkie. Murray and Pinkie blew out the candles, and everyone prepared to stuff their faces. It seemed like a scene that couldn’t be ruined. Shows how wrong you could possibly be. “Hoo,” called an unseen arrival. “Crap,” said Bentley, Sly, and Carmelita in unison. As soon as Murray heard that sound, his pupils shrunk to pinpoints. He froze up as memories of an epic battle zoomed before his eyes. Just when the memories reached their end, Murray let out a shrill (and unmanly) scream before passing out on the floor. “Woah,” said Pinkie as she stopped vibrating, the doozy she had predicted coming true. She leapt to Murray, a worried expression on her face. “Bentley, is he okay?” “Murray is fine, Pinkie. His brain just sort of... malfunctioned.” replied the ex-reptile. “But what caused it?” asked Rainbow Dash. “I have our culprit right here,” said Carmelita, holding a tawny owl upside down in her hoof. “Owlowiscious!” said Twilight, smacking Carmelita’s hoof and setting the bird free. “Carmelita, he’s my pet owl! How could he have caused this?” “It wasn’t Owlowiscious that caused it,” announced Bentley. “It was who he reminded Murray of.” “Clockwerk,” said Sly, obvious disgust in his voice. “Oh, boy! A story!” said Pinkie, pulling a lawn chair and a bag of popcorn out of nowhere. Sly ignored her and began to tell his friends the tale of Clockwork. “He was consumed with jealousy for the Cooper Clan’s thieving reputation. Is it inappropriate to refer to him as a monster? No. Not at all. What kind of person stays alive for hundreds of years with the express intention of wiping out a rival family’s line? Imagine the hatred fueling that first decision to replace his mortal body with soulless machinery. Ultimately, it did the trick. Clockwork lived on. He caught up with my parents, and I wound up in an orphanage. It’s there that I met Bentley, the brains of our outfit, and Murray, the brawn. They turned out to be all the family I needed. Three years ago, I thought I’d beaten him-” “And you also kissed me, then handcuffed me to a guardrail at the top of a volcano,” added Carmelita, who was helping the now-conscious Murray up. “Moving along!” Sly said hurriedly at Twilight’s surprised look. “Ahem. Where was I? Oh, right. How naive of me to think I could so easily put an end to that kind of hatred. At the time, he was in pieces, but the threat was still real. A gang known as the Klaww Gang had stolen the parts before I could get them. Did the Klaww Gang even realise what they had stolen? I didn’t know what was in my future, but I wasn’t gonna let it end up like my past. Murray, Bentley, and I scoured the globe to get back those parts-” “Then they got stolen by your evil “ex-girlfriend” Neyla, who then turned herself into a new Clockwerk,” put in Bentley, as Sly gave him a look that said, ‘you are so dead man.’ “Sly, exactly how many girls were there before me?” asked Twilight, a scowl on her face. Sly knew that he was in a sticky situation. He had to think fast to avoid sleeping in the doghouse tonight. “Just the two,” answered Sly, trying his best to keep Twilight from rage-shifting on him. Murray raised his hoof, most likely to disagree with Sly, but decided not to when Sly hung his Cane over his head. “Now please stop interrupting,” he said. “We had a fierce battle with the new Clock-la, a battle which, although won, cost Bentley his ability to walk. And there we were, at the end of the road. The Klaww Gang was defeated and the Clockwork parts lay scattered in heaps. Yet, despite the explosion, they remained pristine. It was as if nothing could ever hurt them. Carmelita cursed herself for arriving in too late to get in a few shots on Clock-la, so she took it out on what was close at hand: The Hate Chip. “And just like that, it was over. Without that core piece, that essential center of Clockwerk, there was nothing left. The parts aged before our eyes as if time had finally caught up with the ancient bird. How ironic that Carmelita, a police officer, would be the one to lift the curse from the Cooper family. The menace of Clockwork would never again rise to threaten me, or my children. True to her nature, she informed us that we were all under arrest. But one look at my gang told me we were in no shape for a fast getaway. So, I offered to go peacefully in exchange for letting my friends walk. They’d taken some bruises through all of this, but I was surprised, shocked really, to see them leave their gear behind as they walked away. Their wounds were deeper than I’d imagined. Those guys were hurting. “Carmelita’s old police unit soon arrived. With me in custody, her name was cleared, and she even got a well-deserved promotion. It was the least I could do. The ride to HQ started in silence, each of us trying to read the other’s thoughts. As the reality of my capture began to sink in, she began to relax, and we got to talking. We spoke freely about our previous adventures, comparing notes, and even getting in a few laughs. My heart sank when she realised our short flight across town had already taken two hours. A fact I’d kinda clued into after seeing the Eiffel Tower float by seventeen times. She went forward to ask the pilot what was up, and it looked like my pals had left me a little going away present before taking off. Floating away on the night breeze, I could faintly make out Carmelita’s voice–” “‘I’ll find you, Cooper!’ That’s what I said,” said Carmelita, the memories flooding backing into her like a busted dam. “I know.” said Sly, anger evident on his face. “Hoo?” Owlowiscious hooted. “Cooper,” Carmelita reiterated. “Hoo?” “Cooper, damn it! Cooper!” Carmelita blinked a few times as the epiphany struck her like lightning. She chuckled at how silly she had been with the owl, and the others laughed as well. And just like that, the sense of animosity that had blared through Sly came to pass, and he was smiling and basking the joie de vivre once more. “Glad to see you’re better,” said Twilight, snaking in a kiss from the ex-raccoon. “Milady, I’m glad to be better.” *BOOOM!* The party cannon went off again, dousing both Sly and Twilight with confetti. The two looked appalled as they stared down at themselves, before turning on the perpetrator. “Pinkie!” Pinkie Pie grinned nervously at their upset leers. “We’re sorry...” said Murray, who had been the one who had roped her into doing it. “...If what we did makes you think we should apologise.” “Murray!”